Our Family Doesn't Match And That's Okay
I recently went on a field trip with my oldest. He was so excited for me to come with him so he could show me everything. He wanted me to meet his friends, hang out with him, talk to his teacher, and spend one on one time with him.As the oldest of three brothers, he doesn't always get alone time with momma. It's something we both love to savor.His little field trip was precious. We went to a local farm and learned how to plant watermelons, fed and talked to sheep, and played with his friends. My favorite part of the day was looking up always to find his little hand searching for mine.He was proud to show me off and I loved it. I hope he always searches for me in the crowd.
Throughout the field trip, I answered dozens of questions from his friends. One conversation definitely topped the rest.Are you Liam's mom?Yes.That's weird.Why is that?Well, because he's black and you're white.
I laughed and simply said that some families look different than each other.
She smiled and ran off to play with her friends.Later that night, I brought it up at the dinner table. I told my husband how funny it was. Liam smiled and said all his friends say he's black. He wasn't phased at all by this. If anything it made him proud. He's grown up in a multiethnic family and two of his best friends are his cousins who are black and white.The more my husband and I talked about this later that night, the more I learned about his childhood. He even talked about it during his sermon.As an Indian kid, his friends didn't know how to identify him. During the summer he'd get darker and kids would classify him as their black friend. Then the other months of the year he'd get lighter and friends would say he was Asian.As little kids, they don't have a true understanding of racial awareness. They see something that looks different to them and want to figure it out.
Liam's friends see a family that doesn't match.
They see a boy that's not white. They don't know his cultural identity, so they use what they know so it makes sense to them.I know all three of my boys have a long road ahead of them. They will have countless times of explaining their ethnic background to people around them. Whether is's at school with their friends or in the workplace, it's going to happen.As their mom I get worried they will get frustrated. I don't want them to feel pressured to fit into someone else's mold of who or what they should be.Instead, I want my boys to see it as an opportunity to create conversations. I want them to boldly share their culture with their friends. I want them to know how important it is to create conversations and to break down this idea that it's bad to ask questions when they come from a good place.I love that my son's friends ask questions about our family.
They innocently want to understand the world around them.
I'm more than happy to answer questions and to show people that families come in every shape, size, and color.