Teaching Our Kids To Be Comfortable In Their Own Skin

I want you to take a minute and think back to your childhood...

I know! I'm going there quick today! I want you to think back to your childhood and remember a time you felt uncomfortable in your skin.

Mine pops up right away! As you can see, I have about 5 million freckles. These little freckles used to send me into an anxious tail spin. I HATED THEM! Every time I would look in the mirror, I would ask God why he would be so mean to me by cursing me with them. All my friends at school had these perfect little faces without a freckle to be seen...

SO, WHY ME!?

Why did I have to have them? They didn't make me feel beautiful. They made me feel different. All I wanted was to look just like Suzie and Amanda right next to me.

Fast forward a few decades and I love my freckles! They are a part of me. It took a long time for me to be comfortable with the little things that made me different than my friends.

As a mom, I want to teach my kids to skip right through the "being uncomfortable in their skin" stage and grow up bring proud.

We'e already started having some of the conversations. My kids are all half Indian and half caucasian. They don't look like the kids in their school and they have started to realize it.

They've made comments like...

"Mom, I'm darker than the kids in my class."

"Why don't we look like them?"

That's when it hit me. Instead of waiting for the crisis moments to come up before we start talking about this, we need to turn the tables! We need to encourage them and talk about how their unique characteristics are what make them beautiful and handsome.

Where do you start?

It starts at home! We have done our best to reflect diversity in our home. You can look from the kids toys to the movies they watch. We try and make diversity the norm.

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A post shared by Brittany | Life Coach (@almostindianwife)

This is why I am so happy I met Stacey!!! Stacey is the creator of Affirmation Stations and she has set out to teach parents and educators how to invest into their children's mental and emotional health.

Take a look at the beautiful cards she made!

Beyond the fact that the design and quality of these cards is AMAZING look at each kiddo. Each card represents a different ethnic background, disabilities, and so much more! Each letter represents a different affirmation to remind the kids how amazing they are!

These cards are life changing! They teach kids from itty bittys, how to be comfortable in their own skin.

These are the perfect gift for a friend, your kiddos, and even your kid's teachers!

It's time to raise strong and confident kiddos, friends! Are you in?

Head over to Affirmation Stations and order your flash cards today!

Do You Feel Like One Culture Is Taking Over In Your Interracial Relationship

Can You Prevent A Dominant Culture From Taking Over In An Intercultural Relationship?

My husband and I don't have your typical American marriage, nor are we a typical American family.

We're a blend of two cultures, four half Indian and half Caucasian boys and a little girl. There isn't a guidebook on how to have an interracial relationship. Instead, we've had loved ones around us who have given us advice as we go. One thing we've always said we wanted was a blend of both of our cultures.

Obviously, this is way easier said than done!

We've had to be intentional to make sure Indian culture is present in our lives.

We've lived a minimum of thirty hours from most of my husband's family. We'd do our best to see them for holidays, but that's only a few times a year. Knowing it was important to both of us, we made intentional decisions every day. We made sure to set aside money every paycheck to afford plane tickets, made Indian food frequently, taught our children to eat with their hands, taught Indian family values, and my husband and I tried to communicate to make sure we both felt our cultures were being represented in our family.

We realized that in order for our kids to truly be raised with a blend of American and Indian family values and traditions, we would need to live closer to my husband's side of the family. This meant a big step for me to move away from my side of the family.

After initially moving further away from my family, I found myself scared scared my culture would somehow be forgotten.

We'd always been so intentional about Indian culture in our family. We've never had to be intentional about American culture because we live in the US. Our kids were around American culture daily. However, we're constantly teaching our children about Indian traditions and my husband's family traditions. Now we have to be intentional about teaching our children my family traditions.

It's easy to let a dominant culture represent your family.

The dominant culture in the beginning of our marriage was Western culture. We live in the States so it was natural. Then we did a full swing to the other side. When we tried to blend cultures, it was always bringing Indian culture in more.

So, what can we do? What can we do to make sure our family is represented by two cultures?

My husband and I are learning that we need to make decisions as a family. We are constantly being faced with the trivial fork in the road. We're presented with a situation and Western culture says to respond one way, along with our Western friends. Then we have the choice to respond the way Indian culture and our Indian loved ones tell us to respond.

Each culture says their way is best along with the pressure that if you don't follow your culture, you're somehow betraying someone.

Our cultures have helped us become who we are today. It's also shaped the decisions we make on a daily basis. This has caused my husband and I to get into many disagreements because we've allowed our culture to pull us apart at times.

What can we do? How can we let our two different cultures be a blessing and not something that tears us apart?

We can let our cultures influence us and then come together and make a decision that's best for us. Don't let it be about which culture you will listen to. All you can do is take it one decision at a time and make it together.

Have you ever been faced with a decision where both of your cultures tell you to respond in a different way? How did you decide?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cR46EVt-Xw

Creating Healthy Boundaries In An Interracial Relationship

How To Create Healthy Boundaries In An Interracial Relationship

As a little girl, I used to sit at the coffee table with my mom. We would be there for what felt like was hours just coloring pictures. I remember looking at her and thinking what an amazing artist she was, being able to color in the lines so well and draw pieces of candy.It seems so little now. The fact that my mom could draw a piece of candy so well. As a child, I just remember staring at her pictures in pure awe. I loved the fact that she would take her crayon and trace the lines of the picture first. Then she would color inside the lines lightly.It was perfect.She knew how to perfectly stay within the lines, the right amount of pressure to use, and what colors went well together.

It makes me smile, thinking back to that little memory.

It brought me so much joy as a little kid sitting with my mom and coloring for hours. Now, I realize what a beautiful lesson she taught me through coloring at the coffee table with her. She showed me how amazing a picture could be if you color inside the lines and clearly identify where the boundaries are.Sure, I may not be a killer artist or be creating glamorous pieces of art, but I am using this lesson every day.

She taught me what it means to make boundaries.

Boundaries aren't always easy. In fact, creating boundaries can be freaking hard, am I right? Have you ever been in a situation where you need to create a firm boundary within a relationship or friendship and found yourself scared?It's not easy to draw lines in the sand. However, it creates something beautiful.Creating boundaries within our relationships helps us work towards a healthy relationship.

As we experience life as an interracial couple, we quickly start to realize how important boundaries are.

Situations come up, and we have to learn how to safeguard ourselves, making sure we allow things in our lives that are good for us.We may be facing a decision on whether or not to let our in-laws move in with us.We may be trying to decide which family members to move next to.We may be looking at how much we will let in our family members.We may be deciding how we let people talk to us.Whatever the reason is, we need these healthy boundaries.

These boundaries hold us accountable to make sure we have a healthy relationship or are working towards one. They help us individually and as an interracial couple.

Individually, we know where our lines in the sand are, and we are able to actually stick to them. Or at least do our very best. As an interracial couple, we can hold each other accountable to these boundaries.

Boundaries are hard to stick to.

We will have times where we feel too weak, or the pressure will get to us. These boundaries aren't created to make us live in a legalistic lifestyle. They're designed to show us guidelines and try to keep us within healthy limits. They're meant to encourage us and motivate us to always work towards healthy relationships with ourselves and with our partners.What is a healthy boundary you need to make today?

How Do I Introduce My Family To My Husband/Boyfriend's Culture?

How do i introduce my family to my boyfriend's culture

________

Dear Almost Indian Wife. I've been seeing my boyfriend for a little over two years. We just got engaged! I can't wait to marry this man , but one things is scaring me. I came into this relationship knowing I would have to learn about a brand new culture. Now that we're getting married, I've realized my family has to as well. He's not just marrying me, he's marrying my family. His family is coming to town for our engagement party and the nalugu. Our families are going to meet for the first time. I'm so scared my family is going to say the wrong thing or not embrace the culture. Please help! What do I do?

________

Introducing My Family To My Spouse's Culture

How Do I Introduce My Family To My Boyfriend or Husband's Culture?

When my husband and I were dating, things felt easy. It wasn't so much about blending cultures as it was getting to know each other. My boyfriend (now husband) would come over to my parent's house all the time. They loved him and it didn't feel difficult for them to embrace him.I did notice a shift when we got engaged. My family was still over the moon about my relationship, BUT we officially got introduced to blending cultures. It wasn't about getting to know each other any more. Now, it was about introducing everyone to blending cultures.We decided to have a fusion wedding.This meant, both sides of our family had to get a heavy duty dose of what it meant to be in an interracial relationship.Why is the ceremony so long?Why are you getting a necklace with a string dipped in turmeric?Why are all the Indians LATE?What kind of music is this?Why are your bridesmaids wearing American dresses?Both sides of our families had SO MANY questions. It was hard to blend cultures and make everyone happy. I felt a lot of pressure on my shoulders to teach my family about East Indian culture and I know my husband did as well.Looking back at this almost 11 years later, my husband and I have learned a few things. We've learned how to introduce our family to new traditions and a new way of doing things. Let's be honest, it's not always easy. In fact, it's been difficult. However, it's worth it!Here are few things my husband and I have learned about introducing your family to a new culture.

Open Dialogue

One of the most important things you need to do is create open dialogue between everyone. Both sides of the family need to know they can come to you and your fiancé with any questions they may have. Your families are going to be curious. They need to feel comfortable asking you about things they see or want to know more about. The more they talk with you the more comfortable they'll all feel.

Give Them Grace

Remember how new this is for everyone. Even though you two may have been together for a while, this is the first time your families have to encounter what it's like to blend cultures. When you first get together with your partner, you're focused on how you will blend cultures.When you get into a long term relationship with someone, all of your families will encounter situations where blending cultures is necessary. Be sure to give them grace as they figure out how to do it. There's going to be a situation where someone unintentionally says the wrong thing. That's ok. It usually happens because they don't realize what they're saying is wrong. Give each other a lot of grace.

Prepare Both Sides Of The Family

Before everyone get's together you need to have a little sit down. You can sit down with your family and let him sit down with his. If your families are comfortable with both of you, do it as a couple. Then talk about a few cultural traditions they're going to see when everyone gets together. Remember, even if it's become normal for you, it's not for them.

Remember You Have Time

None of this has to get figured out overnight. It's going to take time for your families to feel comfortable with each other and a new culture. Let it happen naturally so they can develop a good relationship with each other. It's easier if your families live close to each other, but that's not always the case. One problem that can arise is putting too much pressure on your families during the short amount of times they're together. Give it time.

The Stages Of Quarantine Life

A few months ago, none of of would have expected to be stuck at home in desperate search of toilet paper... None of us expected to have to put on masks when we hit our local grocery store or the level of boredom we'd all reach after weeks. at. home... But here we are.Let's take a moment and talk through the stages of quarantine to see just how far down the rabbit hole you've gone already!

Hopeful for a break.

Hopeful but anxiety is starting to creep in.

Wondering if you really will catch COVID-19 and covering yourself in disinfectant.

 

Learning a new hobby to try and keep out the boredom and anxiety.

Learning weird thing about your family because THEY'RE ALWAYS THERE.

Starting to hide from your family because you just need a freaking second to yourself.

Looking through pictures from BEFORE all this started while eating an entire bowl of ice cream.

 

Discovering TikTok and realizing you've still got it!

Realizing you have officially gained the COVID-19.

Longing for the days you could just walk down the aisles of Target shopping for crap you don't need.

You start questioning how you missed all the annoying traits your partner has for this long...

OR you realize the best way to cure boredom in quarantine is to... enjoy baby-making time...

You start planning future trips because YOU NEED TO GET OUT!

You wonder when the last time was that you got out of pajamas...

Your hidden talent for day drinking has officially been discovered.

You've officially started spying on your neighbors for entertainment.

You've officially let everything in the house go... Kids, house, husband. They can all fend for themselves.

You look in the mirror and no longer recognize yourself with your new chic quarantine style...

Which stage are you at?

50 Indoor Kid's Crafts and Activities

Are you looking for fun indoor kid's crafts and activities to keep your kids busy? Hoping to prevent them from going stir crazy in the cold months to come? Or maybe you're trying to keep your little ones busy while their siblings do school in the mornings?Whatever your reason these indoor kid's crafts and activities are perfect for you! They're going to keep your kids busy for hours and begging for more!  

Sending the kids outside to play is always a good idea! I don't know about your kids, but mine have ENDLESS amounts of energy! They wake up between 6 and 7 everyday and go non stop until their heads hit the pillow at night! Sending them outside means they get all of their wiggles and energy out WITHOUT breaking mommy's nice things inside.What do you do on the rainy days?Or the days where we're all stuck inside because of COVID-19? I'm looking around my complete mess of a house and realizing my h ouse won't survive this for much longer. This is exactly why I've compiled a list of super fun indoor kid's crafts and activities for the kids. Most of these include things you already have around the house so you won't need to order anything off of Amazon of brave a store!

Indoor Kid's Activities

Bollywood GakSticky Mural (Pictured)Spiderweb DiscoveryYogurt Silly PuttyFruit Loop SortingWashing Farm AnimalsTarget PracticeZipper BoardPeeling TapeFelt Tree StackingDinosaur TracksRainbow Loom Ringer Game (Pictured)Edible Water BeadsFelt Button ChainMixed Up Chameleon Felt BoardKinetic SandCloud DoughZen Toddler TrayColored Ice BinRainbow Sensory BottleMontessori FoldingRainbow BallPoking Sensory BinDIY Play Dough Tools (Pictured)Busy BoardButton SnakeTreasure ChestQ-Tips and Straws (Pictured)Pom Pom ActivitiesPool NoodlesGalaxy Slime (Pictured)Button TreesButton Sorting CraftsPeek A Boo BoardPlay Dough MatsThreading StationPom Pom DropRice Sensory Bin

Indoor Kid's Crafts

Drawing With CarsSticky FishDinosaur BonesDIY StampsFrozen Paint ArtCotton Ball PaintingUmbrellasSalt PaintingLeaf RubbingMonster Blowing PaintBinoculars Owl Bird Feeder

What is your favorite kid's indoor craft or activity?

How I Survive A Day With Postpartum Depression

There’s nothing quite like the emotions of meeting your little baby at the hospital. You just experienced labor which comes with all of its own emotions. Then you look at this little person’s face for the first time. You realize you made this little person. This little person now owns your heart completely.

Then you go home and you start to experience true sleep deprivation. Your baby can be as cute as can be, but once that sleep deprivation hits... oh boy. You start running with your gas tank half empty and things get a little crazy.

You learn how to do things even though you’re exhausted. You fall into a new rhythm and routine and things start to get a little easier. Once you establish your new life, the postpartum emotions hit. This could be a case of the baby blues or it could be something bigger.

When I had my second son I started experiencing what I thought were the baby blues.

I just didn’t feel like myself. Everything felt off for me and I couldn’t quite get into my new routine. I’ll never forget one day in particular. My husband and I were fighting over something and I don’t even remember what it was at this point. We were both incredibly young and hardly knew anything about postpartum depression or the symptoms to look out for. Instead we just went at it. My husband finally looked at me one day after I had yelled at him for who knows what and told me I was acting crazy.

I instantly broke. The floodgates opened and all I could do was cry. My husband instantly realized something was wrong and this wasn’t normal. The very next day I called my doctor and told her I thought I may be dealing with some depression.

Admitting to something like experience and depression was so much harder than I realized it would be. It felt so vulnerable and defeating.

I watched for the same symptoms after I had my third son, but was happy to realize they weren’t there. I thought I was in the clear when I had my baby girl. I still needed to look out for them, but I wasn’t really worried. I figure they'd passed me on just like they had the last time.

Things have been wild since the day I had Emelia. She was slow to gain weight, they found a heart murmur, and we found ourselves at constant doctor's appointments. My stress was definitely high because I felt like I could never truly relax with her. I was always watching for something.

Then the coronavirus happened.

Now things weren’t just overwhelming at home, but they were overwhelming just to go in public. A simple trip to the grocery store became some thing to dread. You walked in to see everyone wearing masks or to find out everything on your grocery list was out of stock. That was supposed to be the easy part of your day.

We all know it just got crazier because then they added stay at home orders. I think we all started to feel a little off when this happened. At first it was nice to let go of so many responsibilities. I wasn’t going back-and-forth between school drop off’s or overloading my schedule with too many things. In the beginning, it started to feel OK. It quickly changed and the lack of a schedule turned into feeling completely cut off from the world

It was around the time that I went in to the OB to have my six week appointment. It was a few weeks late, but I still made it. They always have you take a postpartum depression quiz when you get there. I've taken them before and typically am just fine. Even with Levi I hadn’t started experiencing postpartum yet.

As I started it to check off all my answers on the postpartum quiz I started to see a trend...

I had a feeling of what the doctor would say when she got in. My OB is seriously amazing. She has been my favorite one so far because she truly cares about her patients at an entirely different level. When she came in she gave me a big air hug, told me I’m doing an amazing job, and asked how I was doing. I started telling her about my highs and lows and just how I’ve been feeling and she said that I scored pretty high on my postpartum quiz so wasn’t surprised.

I called Joel on the way home and told him all about it and I could tell he wasn’t surprised either. I think he already had his suspicions seeing as how it’s been the last couple weeks. We sat down and talked for a couple hours about what he can do to help me, things that I can start trying in my daily routine, and overall excepting the emotions I was having instead of feeling ashamed of them. My husband is seriously the best. He was so encouraging because I felt like such a failure.

This is my fourth kid and I felt like I should’ve been able to “skip “postpartum depression. 

I know how crazy that sounds. I know no one just skips depression. But I felt like I should’ve been able to and the shame was so overwhelming.

Since then my goal has been to take it one day at a time. Postpartum depression this time around has been much more difficult. My lows have felt much more overwhelming. The positive thing is that it’s not every day. Some days I feel great and I am super excited to go hang out the kids and my husband. Other days are hard. Some days I just wanna lay in bed all day and it takes so much energy to get myself up.

Then shame starts to hit you. You feel ashamed that you’re experiencing postpartum depression. You feel shamed that you can’t turn it off. I’ve had days where I’ve cried and had no clue why I was crying. My husband would ask me what's wrong and I would have no true reason, simply the overwhelming need to cry.

If you are experiencing this or have in the past you know exactly what I mean. My husband constantly reminds me that it’s OK. It seems like such a little thing to say but it is so much heavier than that.

It’s OK to struggle with postpartum depression.

It’s OK to cry.

It’s OK that everything is hard.

It’s OK that you’re having ups and downs.

Postpartum depression isn't a simple thing. It's complex and you can't deal with it on your own.

You need to talk to your doctor and come up with a plan. My doctor recommended anti-depressants and I said I wanted to try and handle it on my own first. She was open to that as long as I am surrounding myself with a strong support system and would be honest with her if it got worse.

My go to response with postpartum depression is to keep it all to myself. I don't like talking about these things to people. However, I made a promise to myself that I would be transparent and share about my journey with postpartum depression. I talk about it openly with all of you on Instagram and on my Youtube Channel because I don't want to pretend with you guys. This season of my life is hard and I know that's the same for many of you. We need to talk about it. We can't isolate ourselves and take the burden on alone. Even in the midst of COVID-19 we can talk to friends, ask for help, and get support from those around us.

Take it one day at a time and remember how amazing you are.

Quarantine Homeschool Routine and Homemade Butter

Last month, if you would have told me we would be on a state lockdown with stay in place orders due to a pandemic I would have said you’ve been watching too much Walking Dead. I’d suggest you take a little break from the post-apocalyptic tv show binging. I never would have guessed this could all be real.

But here we are.

Day who knows what of quarantine...

Most days I wear the same sweatpants from the day before promising I’ll actually pull myself together and get dressed... only it rarely happens. My husband knows what this hot mess express looks like, bags and all. He’s already stuck with me so what’s the point of actual pants? Sweats will do in a pandemic.

My husband and I attempt to work from home with three rowdy boys and an almost 2 month old baby who’s decided she rules the house. Oh did I mention we’re supposed to be teaching our kids now too...

I send my kids to public school because I know I can’t hack it as a homeschool mom!

I tried. I blew it. I happily sent them to their school each day knowing full well teachers are my hero! Now it’s all on me. I have to entertain the kids, teach them so they don’t lose it all, and remind them they aren’t wild animals. I mean come on... is it that hard to throw the freaking granola bar wrappers away when you’re done???

After about a week of no routine I finally bought workbooks for all the kids. I thought letting them hack the summer routine now would be fine. Then I remembered that we’re rarely home in the summer. “Summer routine” while stuck at home was terrible. The worst. I decided homeschooling it was. The workbooks have worked out surprisingly well. It’s mainly review for the kids so they don’t complain about getting it done each day. We set a 30 minute timer and they get through with as many pages as they can. If they do their best work they get a sticker and damn do they want those stickers. I’ve decided I want my own sticker reward each day. If I make it until 5 without a glass of wine I get a sticker!

Once the workbooks are done it’s chore time. I write the kids chores on the fridge with a dry erase marker. Each kid has their own list they are in charge of. The lists have the basic things like get dressed, brush teeth, make your bed. They also have the kids weekly room assignment. We used to give the kids a single chore to get done each day, but that seem too easy. Now each kid is assigned a room during the week. They are responsible for keeping that room tidy. For example one kid gets the kitchen. That means they have to unload the dishwasher, sweep the floor, and wipe down the counters. They each have to tidy up their room about 1 to 2 times a day. We are a little looser with the kitchen over something like the dining room, but it works out really well. Obviously no kid wants the kitchen and they are so excited at the end of the week when it goes on to the next brother!

Read more about our chore lists here 

Typically during this time, I am in my office on work phone calls or trying to get my list done. My schedule is pretty flexible for work, so I try to get everything done in the mornings. That way I’m not scrambling throughout the day trying to check off my to do list. Some days this works out really nicely. Other days I’m having zoom calls while rocking a baby and texting my children threats for the next one who knocks on my door or passes a note under the door asking to play video games.  Somehow I’ve become less scary to them. I don’t know what I’ve done wrong. Apparently they’ve learned all my threats are useless and I won’t follow through. One day I really will kick them out of the house and make them live off the land…

If my kids haven’t killed each other by this point, I send them outside for a little bit while I get my third or fourth glass of iced coffee. I feed the baby and make sure she’s all good to go and then call the kids back in to start reading. Our family absolutely loves reading. My oldest son is in second grade, but reads at a third-grade level. This by no means has anything to do with my parenting skills, it’s all him. He straight up loves to read and devours all books. My first grade son has followed in his brothers footsteps. He is a first grader reading at almost a second grade level!

I will admit, my husband and I are ridiculously proud that our kids love to read so much. As everything in the world seems to be upside down right now, one thing we try to do every day regardless of anything that’s happened is read together. Sometimes the kids go up to my husbands office and will read on his couch. Sometimes they hang upside down the couch, reading to themselves. Since they've been home from school we started reading together while curled up on the couch. The kids pass around Emelia like a little doll while I read to them. We decided to start a new book and while looking around I found my prized possession. I found a copy of Little House on the Prairie and our bookshelves.

Growing up I used to be obsessed with this book series. I was so obsessed that I even started waking up at 5:30, before the bus picked me up to watch it on Nick at Night. Let’s take a second to remember Nick at Night. Hands up if used to stay up as late as you could or wake up as early as you could to watch it! It used to be a badge of honor between my brother and I and who could stay up until 10 when Nick At Nite would come on.

I wasn’t sure what the kids would think, but they have already become obsessed. They love hearing about living off the land, hunting, and what it was like for the Ingles to live on the Prairie. We even got my husband in on the action. All five of us eagerly listen to each new chapter and talk about everything afterwards!

One of my friends saw how into the series we started getting and shared an activity to make her own butter. We just talked about it in the book and I knew the kids would love it. Plus if Ma can till the fields while Pa is injured in bed or make clothes for the entire family I can make some freaking butter with the kids!

Check out the recipe below! It was so easy! We modified it a bit and the kids danced around the house shaking up their little jars until they had butter! They couldn’t believe they made butter with their own two hands! We even made banana bread so they could try out their butter!

I loved seeing the kids do this activity because it brought the book to life for them. Like you all know, I’m truly far from a homeschool mom. My homeschool mom friends are hero’s in my eyes! If I can do this project with the kids, you can too!

ALSO, if you haven’t read The Little House On The Prairie series, now is the time! You can even buy the whole series on Apple TV for under $20. The first two episodes are slow but then it gets going.

[amd-yrecipe-recipe:47]

Two Weeks Home With A Newborn

Now... You would think after four kids I know what I’m doing. The problem is every time do you have a child, you lose a little bit more of your mind. It’s always a joke in my house that I am officially the “forget mom.” My kids are always telling me that I forgot that they told me something or I forgot some thing that just happened. Sometimes I swear they use it against me and make crap up.

The problem is it’s kind of true. After four kids I still forget what to do. I find myself googling at three in the morning making sure the color of spit up that just projectiled out of my daughter’s mouth is normal. Oh what in the world did moms do before Google existed?

Our first two weeks home with Miss Emelia were pretty hectic. You forget all the exhaustion that goes into that first month with a newborn. The fact that your days consist of your boob hanging out, changing diapers, looking like a complete hot mess, and postpartum diapers. OK no diapers, but pads. My 5 year old son snuck into the bathroom while I was changing into a new one and let me know that I wear adult diapers and thinks it’s the funniest joke he has ever experienced his entire life. Not to mention told his teacher that his mom wears diapers now. Thanks Lucas.

Since she was born at 37 weeks we had a few extra check boxes to mark off the list for the doctors. Apparently 37 weekers have a hard time gaining weight and can struggle with jaundice. Emelia dealt with both. This led us to almost daily doctors visits. She was 7 pounds and 11 ounces when she was born, but when we left the hospital she was 6 pounds and 14 ounces. They got all concerned and worried because apparently they don’t want you to lose more than 10% of your body weight. I’m pretty sure my other kids lost about the same, but who knows or can remember! She struggled to gain weight the first week so we ended up at the doctors doing weight checks daily.

She also had a touch of jaundice. Again because she was born at 37 weeks it was a bigger concern to them. Add that on top of her lack of weight gain and we ended up at the lab checking her bilirubin every day.

We officially got told by her pediatrician last week that we do not need to check her bilirubin anymore and that she has reached 8 pounds so the weight checks started to become spaced out. It’s such a small thing but it felt like the biggest achievement of my life. As a mom all you want to do is take care of your kid. Knowing that she was struggling to gain weight, all I wanted to do was nurse her as often as I could to make sure I could solve the problem. Then I found myself crying in the middle of the night trying to get Emelia to latch on only to be met with her in tears. Hearing the doctor say that she’s gained the weight back and then some was huge. He smiled at me and told me good job. I swear I could’ve broken down right there. 

I thought we were out of the woods until the following Monday. My previously 8 pound baby girl dropped down to 7.2 pounds  I just stared at the scale in disbelief... How the hell did she drop down so low again?

I let myself get so excited and then I found myself broken again. I started to cry at the doctor’s office because I felt like a complete failure. Our pediatrician told me if she lost anymore weight we would have to get her re-admitted to the hospital. He said we had to start adding formula because he wasn’t sure if I was producing breast milk anymore. I had the same problem with Lucas so I knew this was possible. I was trying so hard to prevent it.  Giving her formula felt like I failed as a mom.

I spent my entire day in bed crying. I let myself grieve and fully feel the emotions. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to increase my milk supply or if I’ll have to stop like I did with Lucas and do formula only. Either way a fed baby is a happy baby. I’m not going to allow myself to feel horrible just because things didn’t go as planned. I love Emelia and will always do the best I can for her. Formula is another way to fill my daughter’s belly and that’s ok.

Newborn days are rough. You’re hardly getting any sleep, dealing with transitions for your other kids, trying to remember you’re still a person aside from feeding, so many things are out of your control, trying to not feel like a failure when things don’t go the way you plan, finding time to actually spend with your husband, and try not to forget to pick up your kids from school.

Let’s add some hormones on top of that one. Then you get me, crying in the kitchen at 2 AM because I can’t find something to eat. Yep, that was me… Like two nights ago… I try to remind myself that it’s the hormones causing me to feel insane and be irrational. It does nothing in the moment but I still tried anyways. I end up yelling at my boys for constantly touching me, hiding in the bathroom to nurse and eat a snickers bar, crying at toilet commercials, and I’m trying to remember why am currently mad at my husband.

It’s not just my emotions either. My boys have done so well since their sister got home. They love her more than I thought possible and are always looking for ways to help or to hold her. The problem is they’re all going through their own little transitions at the same time. I expected my youngest son to go through a harder transition since he’s no longer the baby, but I didn’t expect all three of them to go through one. Trying to balance my hormones and there’s gets a little bit tricky. At the end of the day finding time to snuggle each one of them and tell them how much I love them somehow works. They all get that things are a little crazy right now and just want extra mom and dad time. My husband has definitely stepped up to do this while I was too sore to do much else. Now that I’m starting to feel better we are looking at doing more date nights again with the kids. They’re counting down for their nights already!

So that’s our family in a nutshell since baby girl joined us. Our house is messy, we are all emotional, mom and dad are sleep deprived, and we are all trying to love each other a little extra.

Emelia’s Birth Story!

After two weeks on bedrest, twice a week appointments to monitor the babies heart, and getting off bedrest, we officially got our induction date. My high-risk doctor said with the polyhydramnios I couldn’t go past 37 weeks and let me tell you I was not disappointed. I was more than ready to have this baby of mine.

I woke up on Valentine’s Day morning, kissed my boys goodbye as they were getting ready for school, and Joel and I packed up the car to head to the hospital. The whole morning was so surreal because I couldn’t believe I was getting induced after everything that was going on during the pregnancy. Then of course those super fun nerves start to set it. I know I somehow made it through three other labors, but this could be the one. This could be the one that makes the rest of them look like cake.

We pulled up to the hospital, of course with Starbucks in hand, and rode the elevator up to labor and delivery. Joel and I just kept looking at each other wondering how we finally made it to this point. The next few hours consisted of Joel driving me crazy trying to make me laugh, getting hooked up on Pitocin to start my labor, and basically just chatting it up with my Aunt and Joel. The pitocin definitely started up my contractions, but they were so mild we were just hanging out and chatting throughout them.

Then the moment of truth. I’ve had my water broken before and I hardly remember it. It was super easy, and not memorable in the slightest. I assumed this would be the same especially seeing as the doctors were so worried my water would break at any moment this whole third trimester. It’s the biggest reason that they ended up inducing me at 37 weeks. They didn’t want my water to break at home because of the complications with polyhydramnios. They wanted it to break at the hospital where they could monitor me and make sure nothing happened.

Instead of fully breaking my water, they had to do a small little prick to let it release the fluid slowly. You would think that would be easy. Oh no. It was like a freaking indestructible sac of water. My water would not break. It took them a good 2 minutes to break it. All while I’m covering my eyes saying the F word over and over and over in my breath. It hurt like a b...

Once it finally broke, I was so relieved. That part of the pain was done and now I could focus on labor. Then things went from 0 to 60. My mild contractions went from barely noticeable to excruciating within about 20 minutes. It was that moment I looked at my husband and said epidural time!

I don’t know about you, but I am absolutely terrified of the epidural. I’d love to say I was super brave and that’s why I had two natural childbirths, but it was purely because epidurals scare the crap out of me. When the anesthesiologist came in I thought I was going to cry. I let him know that I was terrified and made a joke that epidurals are scarier than labor for me. He was the sweetest and kindest man ever. He explained to me that it’s like geometry and walked me through exactly what was gonna happen and what I needed to do. He somehow calmed me down within seconds. Before he gave me the epidural, Joel asked if he could pray. I felt myself calming down, but I still definitely held onto Joel‘s hands for dear life. He jokes that he has arthritis in both hands now, but mom‘s who have been in labor before, do we care? Nope. Unless you’ve pushed a baby out of your vagina, no pain of yours that your wife inflicts on you during labor matters. Sorry babe.

The epidural was heavenly. It kicked in so fast and what was excruciating contractions went down to pressure. I was able to rest and labor peacefully and calmly.

We did have one scary moment. Apparently with an epidural you can experience a moment where your blood pressure drops. My blood pressure dropped very low and all the sudden I felt terrible. I thought I was going to pass out, while having a heart attack, and could hardly see. The whole ordeal only lasted for about two minutes, but it was terrible. I didn’t even realize that was a possibility. The nurses quickly came in and gave me medicine because Emelia’s heart rate dropped as well. The nurses were phenomenal and it was all taken care of very quickly.

You guys, let’s take a moment and think about this. The doctors and nurses throughout my entire pregnancy warned me of all the crazy complications that could happen during my labor. They talked about the fact the cord could come out first and hurt Emelia, I could bleed out, and all sorts of other scary things. Not to mention preterm labor which we experience firsthand. Out of all the possible complications we hardly experienced any of them. I still can’t believe my labor went as smoothly as it did. Other than that quick two minute ordeal my labor was a breeze.

A few hours after that, the nurses came in because they notice how close my contractions were getting. They checked and it was baby time. Two pushes later and welcome to the world Miss Emelia Jane.

When they laid her on my stomach, I looked at her in complete disbelief. How did I just make this little girl? How do I have a daughter?

I just sat there holding her and cried. I was so grateful in that moment for the journey God brought us on to have this little girl, that He kept her safe the entire time, and that I now have this beautiful baby girl in my arms. I looked up at Joel to see if he was experiencing the exact same thing I was, an oh man… The strong man I love had tear filled eyes and was just staring at his daughter. It was the most precious moment to experience together, meeting our little girl.

Our little Emelia Jane.

As you can imagine, we are all completely obsessed with her. She’s already showing us how feisty she is and I love it!

Third Trimester Update!

Photo credit: J Scott Samarco

It's official. This pregnancy is flying by. It's so funny how the first pregnancy goes by incredibly slow and everything from there on out if it feels like it goes faster and faster. It probably has so much to do with the fact that we're already busy with 3 other kids at home than completely focused on the pregnancy itself. I can't wait to meet this baby girl, but at the same time, I'm OK that I still have a few months to go. It gives me the time I need to get ready and make sure everything is in place before she gets here.My husband brought it up to me last week that I hadn't done many pictures or baby updates this pregnancy. Again, it's been going by so fast I haven't even thought about it. Plus, I mean, come on… I start showing so early, and the last thing I wanna hear is, "Oh my God, you're so big already!" Well, I'm only getting bigger, so I might as well start the updates today!

My Third Trimester Symptoms With Baby Number Four

I've talked before on the blog about how different this pregnancy is. However, it still surprises me just how different it's really been. All three of my other pregnancies are pretty similar. The touch of morning sickness here, bit of heartburn there, and I didn't hit the uncomfortable phase until the very end.

Heartburn.

My morning sickness has definitely calmed down, which is fantastic. I'm able to keep a lot more down, but now my heartburn is starting. I'm not talking your typical, run-of-the-mill pregnancy heartburn. I am talking about volcano eruption in your chest, you have to sleep sitting completely straight-up kind of heartburn. I try to avoid some of the foods that seem like they would cause heartburn, but guys, everything causes it. I can have a piece of toast, and my heartburn is going to keep me up all night long.I am a firm believer that heartburn and the baby's hair are linked. I've always had heartburn, and my kids have always had a head of hair. This girl must have locks like Rapunzel if this heartburn is any indication!

Tailbone pain!!!

Have you ever tried sitting for any length of time only to find out you've broken your tailbone? OK, maybe not full on broken tailbone exactly, but you feel like your tailbone has completely rebelled against your body. That's me. That's MY freaking tailbone. It started out being a little uncomfortable if I sat for too long, but now I have to move around constantly. Otherwise, it starts to hurt.I have a few friends who dealt with the same thing, and they all told me to get the butt pillow. I teased it at first, but now butt pillow here I come!

She's sitting low.

When I first got pregnant this time, I had quite a few people that predicted I would be having a boy because of how low I was carrying. I carried pretty low with my boys, so I figured it had to be true. Nope, this girl just has a mind of her own. I can't believe how low she's sitting already at the beginning of my third trimester.She's usually pretty active at night, so I was showing my husband just how low she was kicking. He put his hand on the bottom of my stomach and couldn't believe how hard she was kicking or where! Of course, I had to take it a step further and freak him out, letting him know it feels like she was trying to punch out of my vagina. His facial reaction was priceless!

All the movement.

I absolutely love feeling my baby's kick. It always gives me a sense of comfort knowing they're doing well in there, and it makes me feel very connected to them. This little girl is super calm during the day, and I usually just feel a few kicks here and there. Nighttime rolls around, and I swear she's having her own little rave in my belly.She's definitely her daddy because he's a night owl too! It ends up working well for me later because daddy and baby end up hanging out with mommy sleeps!

Cravings.

I really haven't had too many cravings during this pregnancy. It's probably because I've been a lot more sick than I was in the past. This time around, I'm just trying to find things I can keep down, or won't spur on my heartburn. The one thing I am consuming by the gallon is apple juice. I don't know what it is about apple juice, but I've craved it with all four of my pregnancies! It gets so bad that I've already had my aunt, brother, and husband get it for me at crazy hours of the day.

The nesting phase has begun.

Nesting has been the same with all my pregnancies. I always go crazy the last few months, but I'm also a planner. I can't tell where my personality ends in the pregnancy begins. I like to have a plan and know everything is ready when the baby arrives. This has rarely gone as planned in the past. I end up going into labor and have been lucky to have my bag packed!The other tricky part is we live in a fixer-upper. On top of trying to get her room ready and make sure the house will be clean-ish, I also want every single project in our house completed. It's been pretty nice seeing some of the projects get checked off the list one by one. I think it also means I'm driving my husband a little crazy because it's pricey and means he ends up having to do a lot of stuff from the house with me! At least this house is going to look fantastic when she arrives!

Anxiety over my labor is starting up.

I've had natural labors and an epidural with my labors. I firmly believe there's no right way to have a baby, and every mom needs to do what she thinks is best. This time around, I'm planning on going natural again. Part of it is because I'm absolutely terrified of the epidurals, and the other part is I have to prepare mentally because I typically don't have time to get an epidural by the time I get to the hospital. My labors go insanely fast. If I'm already in the mindset that I'm having a natural labor, it makes it easier when I find out I really don't have a choice. I realized I really only have a few months left, and labor is creeping up quicker than I'm ready for. There is no real way to prepare for labor. I'm currently at the nervous stage as I think about going through it all again for the fourth time. The good thing is my husband is absolutely amazing. He somehow knows exactly when I need him to be quiet, tell nurses to leave me alone, or reassure me that I can get through anything.

I'm curious and want to hear from all of you! How has your pregnancy differed from one to the next?

How To Put Your Own Multicultural Stamp On Thanksgiving

How To Put Your Own Multicultural Stamp On Thanksgiving

I’ve always wondered why I love fall so much. Everything about it gets me so excited, and the same thing started happening for my kids. The more I think about it, I realize fall is the beginning of the holiday season. The second those leaves start changing and the weather cools down, you start to enter into the holiday season. We kick it off with Halloween and go straight into Thanksgiving and Christmas.The holidays look different for all of us, but it typically means family gets together from all around the world, we eat until our heart's desire, and countless family traditions.As a multiracial family, we also blend family traditions. There are so many ways our holiday traditions are unique, and we love finding ways to bring them all into our own growing family. Which means our Christmas and Thanksgiving don’t look the same as a lot of yours. I love that! I love that we can all put our own stamp on the holidays.What do the holidays look like in your family?

Here is a typical Thanksgiving in our family.

It’s all about the food!

What does a typical Thanksgiving meal look like for you? It’s probably turkey and mashed potatoes with some green bean casserole on the side… My mouth is already watering!If we visit my in-laws for the holidays, my mother-in-law makes her famous lemon pepper turkey, my uncle makes the creamiest mashed potatoes you’ve ever had, and all the cousins get together to make delicious sides and desserts! I’m not gonna lie; all of that makes me crave a typical American Thanksgiving meal, but it typically doesn’t show up for our Thanksgiving at home.If we stay home for the holidays, our Thanksgiving feast tends to be mostly Indian food. My husband is not a huge fan of traditional American Thanksgiving food. Not to mention, we are all completely obsessed with Indian food. Over the years, a tradition has formed. Now, when we are home for the holidays, my husband will spend hours preparing and making lamb biryani. Seriously, so amazing and worth every minute, he puts into it. I will whip up a few other things to go with it. We usually have eggplant curry and raita.Don’t worry, I didn’t forget the dessert. Even though we end up with an Indian feast, the kids and I still make our favorite pies. Last year we made a chocolate pie, pumpkin pie, and an apple crisp. There may only be five of us currently, but you can’t ever have enough pie. Like, for real... It's not even possible!

(Lamb Biryani Recipe)

We go around the table and share what we're thankful for.

This is one of the family traditions that both mine and my husband's families do every year. We were more than happy to carry on the same tradition with our kids.Before we eat or after, we all go around and ask everyone what they’re thankful for that year. It’s so fun to hear the kids reminisce over there year and hear how they were blessed. It’s also just as funny when the four-year-old says he’s just thankful for the food, and that’s it!

All the games we can fit in.

Usually, during Thanksgiving day, everyone is busy in the kitchen or watching football. And our family, we have both of those things, and we fit in as many games as we possibly can. Our family is seriously obsessed with board games and card games. I don’t think we could ever get enough of them. We will play games as the entire family and sneak in a few rounds of Settlers of Catan while the kids go outside and play basketball.

(Favorite family games amazon list)

Sometimes we get really brave and adding some new traditions for the first time.

It’s typically something we heard a friend of ours does each year or even have found on Pinterest. Sometimes they work out incredibly well, and we talk about doing it again and other times… Well, let’s just say it ends up a big fail.For example, one year, we decided to go and do a 5k On Thanksgiving day. I love all of you out there who can do that and then come home and still have a blast in today. My husband and I, on the other hand, end up stupid tired and end up skipping Thanksgiving entirely. Let’s just say we’ve decided in the future to only do 5k’s before or after the holidaysWhat do the holidays look like in your family?

How have you and your significant other been able to blend family traditions to put your own stamp on the holidays?

Halloween Adventures and tornado warnings!

If you're anything like our family, you're still experiencing a Halloween sugar overload! I swear it's one of so many reasons why we had kids! I couldn't wait to have little kids to sneak candy from! The problem is they're becoming obsessed and know when daddy and I take certain pieces!This year Halloween took a bit of a turn...Instead of trick or treating, we ended up staying home with rain, thunderstorms, and tornado warnings! The kids were upset at first and then realized we could have an epic Halloween party of our own!We made delicious fizzy worm drinks, pumpkin pizzas, and all the sweets you could want! The best part of a Pinterest recipe... You spend all the time making it only to find out your kids think it's disgusting! Oh well. The kids hated the pizzas but they filled up on their fair share of treats! I guess we'll call that a win!I always do my best in these videos to keep all the best parts to show you. This week I even left in some tattling and brother bonding at it's finest... You can see by my face that I wasn't even surprised!Take a look at this week's vlog and share your Halloween adventures in the comments! Don't forget to subscribe so you can keep up with each week's vlog!

First Pregnancy Verses Fourth Pregnancy!

I’ve been around the block before with this whole pregnancy thing. As most of you know, this is my fourth pregnancy. It’s my fourth time dealing with morning sickness, fourth time feeling the baby kick, fourth time feeling exhausted, and fourth time having no clue what I am doing…Granted, I will say I find myself looking things up on Google a little less. But let’s be honest. Mama to mama, we all Google the sh*t out of stuff. You start feeling the baby kick a lot more – you look up while you’re baby is moving so much. You feel like your baby isn't kicking as much as normal – you Google why your baby isn’t moving as much. You start craving sweet things – you start googling if it means you’re having a boy.Google is the guidebook for all things, and we all know it. Even fourth time mamas. I still can't believe how different this pregnancy is the fourth time around. I knew it would be different because it’s been a little while. My youngest will officially be five years older when his baby sister is born. Five years doesn’t seem like very long, but apparently, my body thinks otherwise.I can’t tell if this pregnancy is in a league of its own because I’m having a girl for the first time or because I’m officially in my 30s. According to my son, "Mom, you're not a young chick anymore." Let me tell you, this pregnancy is kicking my tail. I feel the same way now at 20 weeks that I did at the end of all three of my other pregnancies. @#$#

Let’s take a second and talk about the new things that have come along with this pregnancy.

First of all, it started off completely different.

I had always had a touch of morning sickness, but nothing could have prepared me for the level of morning sickness I would have with this baby girl. I even lost 7 pounds in my first trimester because I was so sick. Thankfully the morning sickness calms down after the first trimester. I still have bouts of it if I’m not careful and don’t eat or drink enough, but it’s much easier to maintain now.

You start showing like week two!

I have always showed pretty early, but the more pregnancies I've had, the crazier it got! I'm 20 weeks pregnant and people are shocked when I tell them how long I still have to go. First of all, thanks... I hate the shocked look! Makes me want to smack them upside their surprised little head! I haven't gained an insane amount yet, but it just pops out! I guess my body really knows what it's doing!

Everything hurts.

Round ligament pain. What the heck is that? I have never experienced this pain, but my stomach feels like it’s going to burst at any moment. I know it’s truly growing all the time, so why wouldn’t I experience some discomfort, but I have never noticed how uncomfortable it is to become a humongous pregnant woman.Then there’s also the super fun tailbone pain. I look like an idiot sitting as far on my side as possible because I don’t want any contact with a chair in my tailbone. Even my couch at home drives my tailbone crazy.

If you've had more than one pregnancy, you also notice that you tend to put things off more and more.

When I was pregnant with my first son, I couldn't wait to buy everything, get the room ready, and make sure everything was 100% ready for that baby to get here. The second pregnancy and on is a different story. Instead of worrying about getting it done as fast as possible, you put it off until the last moment. I know I’m only 20 weeks, but I just now got my very first baby items. I’m sure I will go crazy because it’s my very first girl and who doesn’t to buy all the adorable girl things at Target… I’m pretty sure everything else is going to have to wait, though. I think you just get so busy with your life and the kids you currently have, that you know everything else can get done when it needs to.Do you want to know what I’m looking forward to probably the most? Obviously, next to meeting my baby girl for the first time…

I can’t wait to spend time in the hospital.

I know some of you have your babies at home and some at hospitals. I think their are amazing benefits to both! In the past, I usually hated being in the hospital. I got out of the hospital as soon as I could to come home and rest in my own house; however, it’s starting to look like a vacation to me now. Going to a hospital without laundry, dishes, mediating three boys, and making dinner… I think I’ll take a hospital suit for all that. Actually, that’s a lie. I’ve never done the whole hospital food thing. I send my husband out 1 million times to fetch coffee and all the takeout my heart could desire.On top of all the new changes this pregnancy has brought with it, there’s also a new very special thing I’m able to do this around. My kids are very close together. They are all about two years apart. Which means they’ve all been too young to understand what it meant when I was pregnant truly. They understood a little bit so they could feel the baby kick, but that was it.

My kids understand I’m pregnant.

They all understand the fact that I am carrying their baby sister, and they can't wait to meet her. My youngest Lucas is a little on the fence on this whole thing, but he’s warming up to it every day. Every day the boys come up to me, rub my belly, and talk to their baby sister. They've even been telling me all the things I have to do when she’s born. They told me I need to make a bottle for them so they can feed her at least once a night so I can sleep and are currently in negotiations over changing it for us. I think I can win them over with a little bribery, but they aren’t so sure. Needless to say, this pregnancy is a whole different beast. There are some parts that are similar to my other pregnancies, but in general, it’s so different. I’m really curious to hear your stories. For those of you that I’ve had more than one pregnancy, did you notice a difference? What were some of the things that were difference in your pregnancies?

Movies For The Whole Family With Diverse Characters!

My kids love a good movie! Between family Friday’s and road trips, we’re always looking for new ones!I’ve always tried to be intentional in choosing movies with diverse main characters and breaking the mold that only white kids can lead the movie. Only a white kid can save the day. Nope, me and my brown boys don’t believe that. We know kids of all ethnic backgrounds can do what they set their minds to.It may seem like a simple thing, but surrounding your kids with diverse media is crucial. It helps us to breakdown stereotypes and teaches our kids that diversity is normal. The world is made up of so many different cultures and we should celebrate this as a family every day!As my boys get older, they’re even on the hunt for diverse movies too! We’ve made a great list over the years!Here are our favorites!

Movies For The Whole Family With Diverse Characters

1. Cinderella w Brandi2. Belle3. The Greatest Showman4. Anna and the King5. Bride and Prejudice6. Bend it like Beckham7. Pocahontas8. Annie9. A Wrinkle in Time10. Home11. The Karate Kid12. Black Panther13. Akeelah and the Bee14. Moana15. Are We There Yet16. Dr. Dolittle17. Princess and the Frog18. Jungle Book19. Coco20. Book of Life21. Zapped22. My Babysitters a Vampire23. Spider-Man Into the Spider-Verse24. Aladdin

Don’t see your favorites here? Tell me in the comments! We’d love to check it out!

What To Expect The First Year Of An Interracial Marriage

I don’t think I ever could have anticipated all of the things that came out of my first year of my interracial marriage. I was so focused on getting through the wedding week itself, that I didn’t truly think through what was coming after.My husband and I were blessed and able to travel to the Bahamas for our honeymoon. The whole week was just a reprieve from the wedding. If you have planned a wedding you know just how crazy it is. There is so much that goes into a wedding that afterward your brain is literally fried. Thankfully I was crazy Young and my mother-in-law helped with more than I ever could’ve asked for during the wedding. In fact, I think she needed the biggest break of all afterward!Once we got back from the honeymoon, we were greeted with a house full of wedding gifts. We had just moved into our little apartment and for the very first time start living together. We were trying to figure out how to blend both of our tastes into one little apartment. Well, let’s be honest… We were trying to figure out how to afford anything to fit into our tiny little apartment!Everyone says the first year of marriage is hard. It’s no secret; they have movies about it, songs about it, and so much more. We get it. Marriage is tough work.Add in two completely different cultures, and you have a whole bunch of chaos on your hands.What can you expect your first year in an interracial marriage?Culture clash Dash I thought I did so much research before I got married. I wanted to learn everything there was about Indian culture. I asked my in-laws, my new family members, and my husband. Not to mention watch as many Bollywood movies I could fit into my day! However, nothing can truly prepare you for diving into another culture. There are so many moments throughout my first year of marriage that I collided with Indian culture and realized I had no clue what I was doing.

[Check out these culture clash stories!]

The best thing you can do to prepare for this is realizing from the get-go you don’t know what you’re doing. You can plan and research The hell out of it, but at the end of the day, you (in the words of my six-year-old son) are a noob.Don’t put the pressure on yourself to know it all because you never well. Let yourself make mistakes and remember it’s OK. The best thing you can do is to have grace for your spouse and for your spouse let yourself make mistakes and remember it’s OK. The best thing you can do is to have grace for your spouse and for your spouse to have grace for you in the situations. Always talk them through even if it’s uncomfortable.

Expectations of my interracial marriage:

I never realized just how different expectations can be in relationships. I just assumed they would be the same. Now, you’re probably laughing at me realizing just how crazy that is. They even go over this in pre-marriage counseling. Apparently I was distracted that day.Whether you and your spouse are from different cultures or simply different families, there will be different expectations. Whether it’s who cooks the meals, who takes out the trash, how to make the bed, or where someone’s freaking dirty socks go… Everyone has learned a different expectation, and getting married means you have to relearn expectations of each other.You can’t simply expect that someone is going to adopt your expectations because you’re To something. If that was the case, my husband would already love casseroles, drink iced coffee every day, put his dirty socks in the hamper, and do whatever I say. None of those things have happened. If that was the case, my husband would already love casseroles, drink iced coffee every day, put his dirty socks in the hamper, and do whatever I say. None of those things have happened in our ten years of marriage.

Family dynamic:

Everyone has a different family dynamic. I grew up with a single mom and then a mother and father once my mom got remarried. My husband grew up with parents who had had an arranged marriage. Needless to say, we grew up in extremely different families.Luckily for us, both of our families are incredibly close. This helped us a lot when we first got together because we were used to families who are very involved in our lives. This is not always the case in an interracial marriage.You may be used to a distant family like yours, and then marry into a family that comes over all the time. This could be extremely overwhelming when you’re still trying to figure out what your marriage is going to look like. Or you could be on the other end of the spectrum. You could’ve grown up with extremely close family and marry into a family that gives each other a lot of space.As you walk into this new family, you have to figure out how you best fit within their dynamic. You need to be aware of their cultural expectations and figure out what you were comfortable with. This took me years to figure out and same with my husband. It takes a lot of balancing in communication with your new family.

Becoming overwhelmed:

I don’t know about you, but change is not always easy for me. Sometimes it takes me a quick minute to get used to so many things in my life. The first year of an interracial marriage can be tricky. You may be moving overseas, you may be moving in with your in-laws, or you may just be experiencing all the new things that come with your first year of marriage. Either way that’s a whole lot of new things.You may even have times where your inner child comes out, and you want to go to your parents for dinner just to feel comfortable for a minute. That’s OK. It takes time to establish new routines and a new dynamic. You didn’t just get married; you created a brand new family with your spouse. That takes time to become comfortable.

Communication:

Did you grow up in a family of yeller‘s? Or did you grow up in a family full of passive aggressive people? Being in a relationship means you have to work on your communication constantly! You may have started to figure this out while you were dating, but nothing ramps it up like getting married.I found out I grew up in a family full of passive aggressive yeller‘s. Something makes us mad and that parentheses king parentheses temper comes right out at me. The crazy person in me wants my husband to yell right back with me. He won’t! How rude is that?!He waits for me to be done like a sane person and then talks to me. I just don’t get it. Even ten years later, this still bugs me.As you work on your communication with your spouse, you will start to figure out how to talk through tough topics like cultural expectations, balance, family, and so many more things that come up throughout your marriage.How was your first year of marriage? Did you experience some of the same things that my husband and I experienced here? Or were things much different for you? Share your experiences in the comments or tag me on Instagram. I can’t wait to hear your story!

How To Get You Picky Eaters To EAT!

Have you ever sat at a restaurant and I heard a kid losing their minds because their parents are trying to get them to try something new? Have you been that parent with a screaming child trying to convince them just to have one bite?I always promised I would never allow myself to have picky eaters. I thought somehow I could convince my children to do whatever I said.Let’s take a minute and laugh at Kid free, naïve Brittany. She had no clue what was coming to her.Three kids later and I realized picky eaters happen to the best of us. My kids have always grown up with an array of food choices.Typically, my husband and I make quite a few international dishes. One night we will have spaghetti, and the next will have chicken curry. My husband and I love food, and we are always up for trying new things. However, we found ourselves making the kids milder version of those things to get them to eat it. Problem number one.Then we would look at ourselves baffle trying to figure out why they were eating the salad we made for dinner one night. We had created monsters. Picky eating little monsters.Now, our kids eat crazy things like marrow curry, devour tongue curry, and try just about anything.What the heck did we do? How did we take our three picky eaters and get them to experience culture through food? Let me share a few of our tips.

The one-bite rule:

Our kids are expected to try everything at least once. They may not like it, they may never want us to make it again, but they are expected to try at least one bite.One of the biggest reasons kids refuse to try new things is the fear of it. They have no idea what it’s going to taste like so they opt-out. You know we’ve all done it. We’ve all looked in something that looked wild and said quotations no thanks I’m good. QuotationsOur kids do the exact same thing. Help your kids to realize that one bite will not kill them. They will be pleasantly surprised a lot of the time and find new things that they absolutely love.

Lead by example:

Are you a picky eater yourself? I can guarantee if your kids watch you were picky eating antics, they will follow suit. Show your kids that you are willing to try everything, and they will be more adventurous as well.One thing my family and I do when we go out to dinner is always try something new. My husband is a big foodie, so he is always looking for the most exotic thing on the menu. Most of the time, we love it; however, we’ve had those unfortunate moments where we realize something is absolutely disgusting. Either way, it doesn’t matter because we’ve tried something new and it’s made a very fun memory with her kids.

Don’t avoid foods:

For the longest time, I avoided making my kids salad. I love salads, and my husband hates them. I always avoided making them for my family because I assumed they wouldn’t like it. Which means I create a family didn’t like salad.For the longest time, I avoided making my kids salad. I love salads, and my husband hates them. I always avoided making them for my family because I assumed they wouldn’t like it. Which means I create a family didn’t like salad.My aunts and I were making dinner one night and decided to make taco salad. It’s delicious, and they basically have the same thing in a burrito all the time. They were so upset when I told them we were having a salad for dinner. They couldn’t believe I would actually torture them like that. Then they saw their cousins eating it and decided to try.My youngest realized he absolutely loves salads. My other two are not obsessed like I am, but they eat it every time I make it for dinner.If you avoid foods because you think your kids may not like it, you’re only cementing that truth into reality.

Go on adventurous family outings:

The next time you and your family are going to go out for dinner, look for a cuisine you haven’t tried before. Maybe it’s Ethiopian. Maybe it’s Indian. Or maybe it’s Greek. Find something new and make it a family adventure.You may even find a new family favorite!

Start now:

Start your adventurous eating habits tonight for dinner! Try a new recipe that you’ve never tried before and tell your kids they better get ready for an adventure. Need an idea? Try out almond chicken curry.

Hyderabadi Upma Breakfast Recipe

There's something I need you to know about my son, Levi. He is completely obsessed with Indian food. If you have ever had a truly authentic Indian dish, you know why!It's absolutely freaking delicious.The problem I've always faced is that I hate Indian breakfast. I'm the sweet toothed girl that likes french toast every day of the week. Indian breakfasts tend to be on the savory end. My kids usually end up in the same boat as me.Not Levi.One morning, his nanama (grandma) made him upma. Think Indian grits and you have a good idea of what I'm talking about. This kid instantly became obsessed. We couldn't EVER talk about upma at home because he would freak out asking us to make it. The problem was that I had no clue how to make it or spell it to be honest...Over Labor day weekend, we ended up visiting my in-laws and something special happened the last day of our trip.Levi went up to his nanama (grandma) and his chinna-nanama (great aunt) and BEGGED them to teach mommy how to make it. After a lengthy contract... they agreed :)They wrote it all down for me and I was able to surprise him with a steaming bowl of Hyderabadi upma before school this morning.I saw the skepticism in his eyes the entire time I made it! He didn't believe I could make it as good as his nanamas and I agreed. I was terrified for him to take the first bite.. However, it was a raging success!!!!!!He devoured his bowl and asked for more!The only thing I would modify in the future is a bit less chilies. We're used to the spice, but we all agreed to do a bit milder next time.If you're looking for a yummy and quick breakfast this is it![amd-yrecipe-recipe:41]

Baby #4 Is On The Way!

Have you ever been sitting in your living room while your kids are bouncing from couch to couch screaming and fighting and thought to yourself hey… Let’s have one more kid!?

No? Just us?

Well that definitely happened for us and we decided let’s just add one more to the chaos. I guess life was getting a little too calm for us…

Now I’m sitting here a few months later over the hump of just about the worst morning sickness and all of the world thinking what the hell did I get myself into?

My kids are completely over the moon! They cannot wait for this new baby brother or sister to get here. They’re planning out all the things they’re going to do together and what their rooms will look like. I think we made their entire year with this new news.

My husband and I are just as excited as I was fourth time parent nerves kind of start to kick in.

On top of the counting down the days until I get a cuddle a squishy little baby, I’m sitting here trying to remember what the baby stage is like. I mean it’s been five years since our youngest was a baby. I know that doesn’t seem like long but in parenting years it’s like an entire lifetime away.

If you checked my Google search history you would see the wildest things already. How old do babies have to be to try solid foods? What is that weird poop thing that happens in the beginning with babies? How do you wipe a baby girl? How can I make sure I have a calm baby?

It’s like I forgot everything!

My friends swear up-and-down that it’s like riding a bike. Soon as that baby enters the world everything will come back to us.

I’m sure they’re right I mean we have done this three times already. That doesn’t mean it prevents me from Google searching anything crazy. I’m sure that will continue until this baby gets here… And if I’m really honest it’ll continue even after the baby is here. I love me some Google searches.

There’s one more thing with this whole fourth kid deal... i’ll never forget transitioning from 2 to 3 kids. The chaos was definitely adjustment but the hardest thing for me or simply the logistics. How do you grocery shop with three kids? How do you go anywhere with three kids? How can you squeeze three kids into a little car?

I swear I didn’t grocery shop alone for at least the first three months. Then I discovered the double carts at target and Costco. Not to mention an online grocery delivery that has literally saved my entire life.

I’ve talked to a few of my friends that have multiple kids and they tell me going from 3 to 4 is enough. You’ve already figured out the logistics of being out numbered so what’s one more?

I can do chaos. Heck I have three boys under the age of nine years old and we do chaos just fighting this house. What does it mean my neighbor so hear me screaming at my kids all the time… That’s a daily occurrence but hey they’re all still alive and so am I.

Now I’m trying to go through all the baby things that I have left over (which is hardly anything other than clothes because I swore to myself and my husband that I was done having kids after Lucas). I’m trying to look through the list of things we’ve actually used in the past versus things that were luxuries and stay in the box. You know what I’m talking about those things everyone swears you need as a parent but you don’t ever find useful in your own life.

As soon as I get an extra minute I’ll share a list of the things I actually think are useful when it comes to babies.

For now I said on my phone adding things to my Amazon registry and trying to figure out what this life with four kids will look like. Not to mention, if I have a girl my husband is in huge trouble. I have already skipped over so many little girl things that will of course be coming essentials for me if we have a boy it’ll be easy to buy new things. I’ve got the clothes, I’ve got the toys, and I just need to pick up a few essentials. If I have a girl, my very first girl in all of existence… Oh boy. This girl is in for it. Everything instantly becomes an essential and she will have stock and headbands, bows, leggings, dresses… I’m literally holding myself back from going on Amazon just to create a second Amazon registry for just in case it’s a girl.

Don’t get me wrong I’m going to be over the moon if we have a boy but I’ll probably lose my mind if I have a girl!

Moms and dads out there, what was it like for you adding a fourth baby? Did you survive? Are you still alive?

How To Keep Up With A Busy Family

This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #MilkMadeEasy #CollectiveBias

I always knew being a mom would be busy work; however, I don’t think I quite realize just how busy and chaotic it could become.I currently have three kids under the age of nine, now pregnant with baby number four, two dogs, have to juggle kids sports schedules, all while working at home. Let’s just say there are quite a few things crammed into my daily to do.Let’s be honest. This could make a mom go crazy. However, I have somehow found a way to juggle it all while staying sane.Do you wanna know my tips and tricks? Do you want to know the magic sauce behind how I can actually make all of these things feasible in one day?Well, let me take you through a few of the things that I’ve learned from moms and families around me.

Find people in your life that you can trust and get good advice from.

I don’t care what they told you, but being a mom does not mean you know everything right away. Take me, for example, I’m still googling things after my fourth pregnancy. This is exactly why it’s very important to me to fine moms another family that I can trust and look up to you. I have learned so much about being a good mom from watching moms around me.

Don’t over commit.

This is probably the hardest thing that I have battled throughout the years. I absolutely hate telling people now. My husband will tell you the same thing he’s always on my case to tell people now and stop feeling like I have to do everything in the world. Take a look at your schedule and your daily list of to do’s. Then go through that list and figure out what things you can take off. It might be letting your kids take the bus to school, so you get a little extra work done in the mornings. Or maybe it’s letting the kids by lunch from school, so you don’t have to make it each week. Maybe it’s Tuesday night book club for your kid. Honestly take a look and think through what is necessary for your family‘s life for the season.

Make a schedule.

Before you start stressing out take a deep breath I promise you can do this. You don’t have to be type A to create a schedule for your family. I love creating a family schedule on my phone to share with my husband. We add everything on there that applies to our whole family. This includes sports, family dinner, school events, doctors appointments, and date nights. It’s crucial for our big family to write everything down in one spot; otherwise we forget. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone to football practice and realize I was snack mom for the week. Oops.Take time for yourself. As a work at home mom, I spent most of my days at the house. That can get pretty lonely and exactly why moms need to have a circle of friends that they can go and spend time with each week. Maybe it’s a Bible study with your neighbors, or a weekly friend date night, or a manicure once a week… Find something to do for yourself. Put it in your budget, so you’re not stressed about the finances and make it happen. You are worth it. Make time for yourself each week.

Make things simple.

Admit it you’re just like me and you have scrolled through Pinterest trying to find the most creative snacks, most elaborate dinners, and fancy homemade desserts. Then what happened next? Did you get overwhelmed with all of the steps it would require to make that elaborate dish and ended up ordering pizza? It’s OK, I’m here with you. I do the same thing and have many many times. Stop the cycle and make things simple! You need to find quick and easy snacks and dinners.I have done my best at making freezer meals lately. These are a lifesaver because all you have to do is prep your meals on the weekends and on a busy night, pull a meal out. Super easy and I promise you’ll thank me.Another thing is the snacks. I hate having to stop at a grocery store while out and about to buy snacks to make heads or go to take out just because they’re hungry. Nope, instead, I always have a little cooler in my car with snacks and drinks. One of my kid's favorites is Hershey's® chocolate milk! It comes in a 12 pack case which is perfect for our family! I don't have to worry about putting them in a kid's cup because they come in individual 8 ounce containers! Score!If you are a meal planner like me, you will love to know these have a killer shelf life and can stay in your pantry up to 13 months! All you have to do is pop it in the fridge to get it cold to drink when you're ready. We love them for quick snacks at football practice, in the kid's school lunches, or even a wild Sunday morning breakfast. Another perk is no straw! I don't know about you, but I hate when these little drinks come with a straw because we somehow lose them every time! Instead of a straw they have a screw cap! Let me tell you, the caps actually screw on tight after each drink! Ready to try them out? We get ours from Publix. All you need to do is check out your local Publix and pick up a few boxes of Hershey's® 2% Chocolate Shelf Stable Milk! Don't forget to take advantage of Publix's load to card offers! You must be logged in with your Publix ID to view thisHershey's® load to card special offer. They take out the hard work of coupons and let you add them to your phone using their app! Head over to the Publix site now to check out what deals they have!