Do You Feel Like One Culture Is Taking Over In Your Interracial Relationship
Can You Prevent A Dominant Culture From Taking Over In An Intercultural Relationship?
My husband and I don't have your typical American marriage, nor are we a typical American family.
We're a blend of two cultures, four half Indian and half Caucasian boys and a little girl. There isn't a guidebook on how to have an interracial relationship. Instead, we've had loved ones around us who have given us advice as we go. One thing we've always said we wanted was a blend of both of our cultures.
Obviously, this is way easier said than done!
We've had to be intentional to make sure Indian culture is present in our lives.
We've lived a minimum of thirty hours from most of my husband's family. We'd do our best to see them for holidays, but that's only a few times a year. Knowing it was important to both of us, we made intentional decisions every day. We made sure to set aside money every paycheck to afford plane tickets, made Indian food frequently, taught our children to eat with their hands, taught Indian family values, and my husband and I tried to communicate to make sure we both felt our cultures were being represented in our family.
We realized that in order for our kids to truly be raised with a blend of American and Indian family values and traditions, we would need to live closer to my husband's side of the family. This meant a big step for me to move away from my side of the family.
After initially moving further away from my family, I found myself scared scared my culture would somehow be forgotten.
We'd always been so intentional about Indian culture in our family. We've never had to be intentional about American culture because we live in the US. Our kids were around American culture daily. However, we're constantly teaching our children about Indian traditions and my husband's family traditions. Now we have to be intentional about teaching our children my family traditions.
It's easy to let a dominant culture represent your family.
The dominant culture in the beginning of our marriage was Western culture. We live in the States so it was natural. Then we did a full swing to the other side. When we tried to blend cultures, it was always bringing Indian culture in more.
So, what can we do? What can we do to make sure our family is represented by two cultures?
My husband and I are learning that we need to make decisions as a family. We are constantly being faced with the trivial fork in the road. We're presented with a situation and Western culture says to respond one way, along with our Western friends. Then we have the choice to respond the way Indian culture and our Indian loved ones tell us to respond.
Each culture says their way is best along with the pressure that if you don't follow your culture, you're somehow betraying someone.
Our cultures have helped us become who we are today. It's also shaped the decisions we make on a daily basis. This has caused my husband and I to get into many disagreements because we've allowed our culture to pull us apart at times.
What can we do? How can we let our two different cultures be a blessing and not something that tears us apart?
We can let our cultures influence us and then come together and make a decision that's best for us. Don't let it be about which culture you will listen to. All you can do is take it one decision at a time and make it together.
Have you ever been faced with a decision where both of your cultures tell you to respond in a different way? How did you decide?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cR46EVt-Xw