How To Love Your Kids According To Their Love Language

Have you and one of your kids ever just been in a funk?Maybe it's one of those days you just can't get along? No matter what you do, it ends up in a fight or one of you crying...I thought I had a few years until this happened, but I'm quickly learning how wrong I was. My oldest and I have very similar personalities. We're both the oldest in our families, rule followers, and feel things very deeply. When he's upset I typically know just what to do. I know how to comfort him because I try and think about what would work for me.This week it's not working.I've tried everything! Nothing's working. Instead, it's causing us to fight nonstop. I can tell he's completely overwhelmed. It's causing him to have a teenager-level bad attitude, cry over everything, and hide out on his own.You guys... I'm over it! I hate not knowing how to help him and trying to talk to a kid who is completely annoyed before I start talking is... fun to say the least. Not to mention, it's putting me in a bad mood! I just want to have a good time with my kids and instead, I'm getting on him for his attitude all day long.Then it finally hit me. He didn't want alone time. He didn't want a break from me. He didn't want to play with friends.

He simply wanted alone time with his momma.

I completely forgot that daddy usually takes him out to practice alone each week. They drive to sports practice, then hit something to eat on the way home, and drive thirty minutes home alone. That's a lot of quality time and it fills his little heart for the whole week.Joel is out of town this week and Liam hasn't been able to have alone time with mommy or daddy. He's craving it. He has three brothers and he's at school all day. He needs that quality one on one time to have the strength to get through anything that comes his way during the week.It's really hard to find a balance and give all three kids alone time. I tend to take them all with me for everything so things are "even." I grew up thinking things had to be even for everyone for it to be fair. Well, guess what... Kids don't need even. Kids don't need things to be fair.

They need their little hearts to be filled each week and that happens differently for all of them.

You may have a kiddo who thrives on quality time and another who feels loved getting little gifts. Find out your children's love language and make sure you love them how they need to be loved.This week Liam was in desperate need of some one on one time for me to love on him. We went to Starbucks for a mommy-son work date. We started the day fighting and Liam ended up in at least a dozen crying fits. By the end of our momma date, he was hugging me with the biggest smile he has. It was something so simple. He didn't want anything big.

He just needed time.

This year I want to do better at loving my kids. I know I love them all with all of my heart, but I want to love them better. I want to love them intentionally every day. I want to find more ways throughout the day to show them what they mean to me.

Find Your Child's Love Language

Quality Time

Does you child love to spend time with you? Would they choose to just cozy up on the couch and watch a movie over just about anything? Do they constantly ask to do things with you? If this sounds like your child, they may have quality time as their love language.Fill their little love tank by asking them to do things with you. Prioritize time with them because it means more than you realize to their hearts.

Words Of Affirmation

Does your child feel words deeply? Whether they're positive or negative, do they hold on to them? If so they may feel love the deepest through word of affirmation.Fill their love tanks by telling them how much you love them. Take the time to write them little love notes and send them in their lunch box. Make sure you tell them how much you love them every day. They need to hear it daily to feel how much you care about them.

Acts Of Service

Does your child love when you do things for them? They may value their independence, but then love when you come in and help them with their homework. If this sounds like your child, they may be acts of service.Fill their love tank by helping them with a project, teach them to do something, or even cook together. Find ways to serve your kiddo and let them know how much you love them.

Gifts

Do gifts just send your kid to the moon? Do they hold onto those little trinkets forever? If gifts mean a lot to them it could also be their love language.Fill their love tank by getting them little gifts. They don't have to be big or expensive. Even a simple little card will mean something for them. It shows them that you thought about them enough to choose something special just for them.

Physical Touch

When your child is upset, do they go to your for comfort through hugs and cuddles? Do they need you to reassure them by holding their hand or giving them a pat on the back? If so your kid's love language could be physical touch.Fill their love tank by giving them a hug, wrestle with them, teach them how to dance, snuggle up on the couch, or give them a piggy back ride!

What are your kid's love languages?