A Tiny Tale: One Little Boy's Road To Self Confidence
Our morning routine is always the same. My kids wake up incredibly early (6 am), I try and convince them to go back to sleep, they stay awake, they watch cartoons while mommy sleeps until 7 am, momma makes breakfast, and I tell the kids to go get dressed.The last part of our routine has been a new addition. I used to pick out their clothes and tell them to get dressed, but now they've decided they want to get themselves dressed.My 5-year-old, Liam, reminds me he's too old for me to choose his clothes. Too old. He's five! I thought I had a few more years of being able to choose clothes for him, but no. He's fiercely independent and loves to pick out sports clothes each day and probably knows I'd pick a cute little hipster outfit instead.Levi, my 4-year-old, is no different. He started picking out his clothes much earlier than his unna (big brother) but loves choosing them none the less. I'll even attempt to lay out his clothes for him in the morning, only for him to bypass them and choose something else.While he doesn't typically choose to wear sports clothes, he has a unique style that completely fits his little personality. His outfit usually doesn't match and the clothes he chooses are never his own.He sneaks into his younger brother's stash of clothes and creates his little ensemble. At first, my husband and I would simply smile and tell him how proud we were of him. Then we started suggesting he wear his own clothes that actually fit his body.It soon became a huge challenge in the mornings to get him into his own clothes. He refused to wear his own shirts and was determined to wear a snug shirt that fit his baby brother.Last week, my husband finally sat him down to talk about it. While we assumed it was because he didn't like the fact his clothes were being passed down to his tam muddu (little brother) my husband discovered something quite different.
"I like to wear tiny shirts, daddy because I'm tiny."
Levi has always been a little boy. He was our smallest newborn and has continued to have a smaller frame as he has gotten older. Little did my husband and I realize, Levi has been noticing how often people call him little and tiny.His friends will come over and call him tiny, adults mention his size, and all the while he's growing more insecure.As adults, we've all been there.We've struggled as children with insecurities and still struggle with them to this day. Now, we're watching our kids deal with them. It breaks my heart to see my kids look at themselves in any other way than I do.What can we do?How can I help Levi realize his size is temporary and his heart and character are what's important?
Show Him What Self-Confidence Looks Like
As a mom who has had three babies, I struggle with self-confidence. I look at my tired, stretched, and worn body and struggle to find the beauty.If I want to teach my kids how important it is to have self-confidence, it has to start with me. I have to show him what it looks like to be confident. I may not always be happy with what I look like, but they're my momma battle scars.My skin is stretched because I carried them all in my body.It looks worn because of every day I've been alive, living life with my family.I always look tired because I'm raising three boys under six years old.At the end of the day, beauty fades but self-confidence can last forever. I choose to be confident in who I am and what I look like. As I continue this process of being proud of who I am, my kids start to see it reflected in everything I do and say.
Help Him To Find His Unique Qualities
While my son struggles with his size, there are so many things he should love about himself.While he's small, his heart is big. He is one of the most loving and caring kids I know. He is always asking my husband and I how we're doing and asking if he can help us. He doesn't like seeing people around him sad or hurt. His heart is huge.It's important for us as parents to remind our kids of all the unique and beautiful qualties that make them who they are.We even go as far as having a 3:1 rule in our house. For every bad thing you say about yourself, you have to say three nice things. It can be uncomfortable to talk about things you love about yourself, but it shouldn't. We should be teaching them from the beginning of their lives to find out what they love about themselves.