Am I Racist Against My Own Culture?

Falling In Love With A New Culture

Seven years ago I married the love of my life. As I said I do, I realized things were about to change. I had grown up only truly understanding my own culture. My new husband grew up experiencing something much different. He was raised by first generation East Indian parents who moved to the US shortly after they were married.As he grew up in the US he was raised in two distinct cultures. The East and the West quickly blended together into a new, unique culture. It was the only thing he knew and he was comfortable in it.As my husband and I were learning what it was like to be a newly married couple, we were also learning how to blend two different cultures in our marriage and lives. Even though my husband grew up with two cultures, teaching me about his culture was a new experience. We had to figure out how we could bring both of our cultures together to create a new family culture.Over the years I've developed a deep love for Indian culture. It's no longer a foreign concept to me, but part of my own life. I love learning more about East Indian culture because it means I can find new ways to incorporate it into my kid's lives.

Am I Racist Against My Own Culture?

I always assumed people would look in from the outside and be impressed with our family. I don't mean this in a "Look at me I'm so amazing" kind of impressiveness. I'm referring to people seeing the way we've been able to blend two cultures and see how much it's blessed our family.Sadly, that hasn't been everyone's reactions. Some people tell us how amazing they think it is. They're so happy to see how excited our kids are to share their culture with them and love the Indian feasts we put on.Then you have the other group of people. The group of people that think we're hurting and confusing our kids by raising them in two such different cultures. We've heard so many of these comments over the years. However, one tops them all.

You're racist against your own culture.

I've heard this one a few times. It's usually someone who finds my blog, sees me in a sari, and makes their own assumptions. The first time I heard this I was devastated. I sat their looking at my life and asking myself how someone could look in and ever think anything close to this.Was I some how showing people that I didn’t value my own culture?Was I racist towards my own culture?Then I realized no matter what I do, people will find fault in it. It doesn’t matter what I say or do, I will never please everyone. I either love Indian culture too much, love American culture too much, or I’m hurting my kids by blending cultures in their lives.

My love for Indian culture by no means reveals a dissatisfaction with my own.

My husband and I are raising our boys in a multicultural family. This means we are blending cultures every day. My husband and I love our culture so much that we want to show our kids the best both of our cultures have to offer. If I was somehow so dissatisfied with my own culture, I wouldn't go through the work of blending cultures.

In my own exploration of a new culture, I found myself comparing how American and Indian culture differed. I've married into a culture much different than my own. I love sharing what I've learned. This doesn’t mean I’m forsaking my own culture.

Is It Possible To Love Two Cultures

I’ve learned that people can become prideful about their culture. Instead of learning about others, they stand with a sense of superiority. It’s easier to pridefully stick with the same way of thought you've always had than to open your mind and try something new.

I’ve had so many people tell me they hate curry until they try an Indian dish. Then they start raving about how great the dish is. If only they would have been open to trying something new instead of insisting all Indian food, “curry,” tastes the same. Trying something new takes a hint of courage. We tell our son Liam every night, courage is doing something even if you’re scared. 

Instead of segregating cultures, let’s courageously learn about them. It doesn’t mean you don’t value your culture. It means you realize that we live in a nation full of vibrant cultures and you want to glean from them to become the best you!