Culture Clash Wednesday #3 Sibling Dynamics

This week I want to share a culture clash my husband has experienced. We are both the oldest in our families. I have six brothers and he has a brother and a sister. While we were both expected to help and take care of our younger siblings, it looked very different for us. Neither of us realized how different until we were married. We agreed to spend our Thanksgivings with my husband's side of the family, since we lived right next to mine. We always had a great time because all of the family got together, which was rare because we all lived in different cities. I would spend my time there observing and learning how to integrate myself into a new culture. One thing I picked up on rather quickly was my husband's relationship with his siblings, who were both five years younger than him. In Indian culture, the oldest sibling has a position of authority under their younger siblings. It's the oldest siblings responsibility to almost parent their siblings. As the oldest, my husband stepped in to mentor, advice, love, and take care of them. My husband told me it was always like that for them growing up. His parents taught him the importance of being the oldest child and shared the responsibility of raising his brother and sister. I even saw this with the rest of my husband's family. His mom is the oldest in the family and everyone listens to what she says. They love her and respect the advice and wisdom she has to offer.  While I took care of my younger brothers, it looked much different for me. My parents never shared the parental role, rather encouraged me to look out for my brothers. I was responsible to look out for their well being, teach them, and encourage them. My mom had my two youngest brothers very close together, so I ended up helping raise them. That was also because they were eleven years younger than me. The one thing I didn't do was major correction. If they did something wrong, I could talk to them about it, but all major correction fell under my parent's domain. This was interesting for my husband when he came into our family. He had to learn to navigate his role in my brother's lives, while respecting boundaries. This was a big culture clash for my husband. He had learn a brand new family dynamic. This is one of those culture clashes many people have faced. We all come from different families with different dynamics. This is one of the reasons I think we all have intercultural relationships. It takes time for all of us to learn how to navigate in our loved one's family. Did you experience this with your loved one? What was it like for you?