My Multicultural Family: What I've Learned From My Traveling Spouse
While most families are packing up to head out of town for the summer, my family is getting ready for some epic staycations! My husband, Joel travels for work and summers tend to be one of his busiest times of the year for him.As I'm sure you can already imagine, having a traveling spouse is hard. I'd love to say I handle it all perfectly and that things run smoothly while he's gone... but no. That's definitely not the case. Instead the dishes pile up, the house gets cluttered, clean clothes end up in my closet full of other clean clothes (not folded, but piled nicely in the corner), dinner consists of chicken nuggets or cereal, and bed time is strictly at 7 every night so momma can get a break.It's not all bad.
Having a traveling spouse has taught me a lot.
It's taught me to be more comfortable with myself.
My husband and I got married when we were really young. I was only twenty! The reason I will never forget how old I was is that we went on a cruise to the Bahamas and I was so excited there wasn't a drinking age there!Ahh, the little things that bring us pleasure.I quickly learned to depend on my husband. He's an amazing man and has always taken care of our family, even when that consisted of the two of us. I have always been more comfortable with him by my side. It was really hard when he started traveling because I just wanted to stay home. I didn't want to go to events or get togethers with out him. I felt uncomfortable being alone.Then I realized how wrong that was. I didn't want to be so dependent on my spouse that I couldn't do things without him. He was always encouraging me to go and one day I finally listened. Sure, it was uncomfortable at first, but then I gained a new sense of pride and independence.My husband will always bring out the best in me, but that doesn't mean I'm not my best when he's not there. I will always be me whether he's there or not. Having him travel so much has taught me to challenge and love myself more.
It's ok to not be supermom every day.
While my husband is away for work I'm doing a lot. I have to help my three year old cope with daddy being gone (he struggles the most), take care of the house, take care of the dog, do everything needed to be done for the kids, make three meals a day, keep everything organized, fix broken things around the house, take on things my husband normally does, try to live frugally while he's away, and try to find time for myself.Doing it all isn't just hard, it's impossible.I've tried. I've tried doing everything at 100 percent and I broke down. I felt like a failure because I could barely get things done and the things I did do weren't done well. Then a very wise friend asked me a very wise question.Why are you trying to be supermom?I wanted to do everything perfectly and let everyone know I could do it. I could be an amazing mom while my husband was away and I didn't need help from anyone. Instead I found out just how much my family was suffering from my own pride.No one expected me to do everything. No one expected everything to be perfect. It was me. I was the one that wanted to do it all.My family became so much healthier when I stopped trying to be supermom. Now, I'm honest when I can't do something. I spend every morning looking at my to do list and ask myself what actually needs to get done today.This has lead to a closet full of unfolded clean clothes, chicken nuggets for dinner more often than not, sticking closer to the house to avoid getting everyone ready, and me asking for a lot of help. Guess what... It's also made for a much happier family.Now, my family talks about how to make things easier while daddy is away. We've landed on chore charts for the kids, snack boxes so snacks are figured out ahead of time, simple schedules, and mommy time.
All my kids really want is for momma to make time for them
My kids really don't care if I fill up our days with crazy adventures, perfectly clean houses, extravagant meals, and that I do it all on my own. All they really want is quality time. They would rather me make more time for them than to spend more time cleaning or stressing out about things around then house.My husband has talked to them a lot about how much faster things go when everyone contributes. Now, we make it a big game at night. We spend fifteen minutes and see who can clean up the most. Then we have more time to read books together and chat about our day.It's crazy how long it took for me to realize this. It helps me give myself a break on the hard days. All my kids really want is me.