How Should We Talk About Someone's Ethnic Background?

I recently posted a video on my Facebook and it started a lot of conversations on whether or not we should ask someone about their ethnic background. The video referred to people asking strangers about their ethnic background.The video received a lot of different responses. Some people think it's always fine to ask, regardless of the circumstances. Others believe that you should have somewhat of a relationship before you ask. At the end of the day, this video caused conversations to happen and I couldn't be happier!Just because you're OK with people asking questions about your ethnic background doesn't mean everyone else is and visa versa. At the end of the day I think it becomes a heart issue. If you're asking with good intentions and because you really want to get to know someone, it's great!

When Is It OK To Ask About Someone's Ethnic Background?

Curiosity is a normal part of human behavior. When we see something we aren't familiar with or can't label, we want to figure it out. As a mother of biracial children, I do tend to notice other biracial individuals and my mind starts to wonder. However, I wouldn't ask them about it unless we knew each other on some level.There are so many different views on this. Personally, I think you should get to know someone or at least know their name before you start asking questions about their ethnic background. As you start getting to know someone, it becomes a natural part of the process. You start asking each other questions and learning what makes each other tick.I love learning about someone's background because it all plays a part in who they are. Whether they grew up with a single mom, in Hyderabad, are the oldest in their family, etc. It's all a part of who they are.

What If I Don't Know How To Ask

People can usually tell if you're asking about their ethnicity because you care about them as a person or if you just want to fulfill your own curiosity. If they see you're being genuine, the how isn't usually a big deal. They can see that you aren't trying to be rude and that you are asking the best way you can. Then they're usually more willing to answer you.The problem is when people start throwing in stereotypes and assuming things about a complete stranger.

Here's What You Shouldn't Say To Someone Of A Different Ethnic Background Than Yourself

I asked my readers to share some common misconceptions they've experienced. Here are a few of the ones that really make you wonder what the stranger was thinking!

"I'm giving you the Hindi pamphlet so you can understand."

It doesn't matter whether or not you actually needed the pamphlet in a different language. They assume you do because you're Indian.

"His family must be really upset that you're married. Do they hate you?"

How do they know how your relationship is with your in laws? They assume there's strife because he's Indian and you're not.

"Was it really hard growing up in the US?"

They must be forgetting that the United States is full of people with different ethnic backgrounds. Just because you see an Indian man doesn't mean they grew up in India or a Russian women mean she grew up in Russia.

"You're so light! There's no way you can be African American!"

Who made the decision that you have to be a certain shade to "qualify" as African American?

Here's What You Should Do If Your Curious About Other Ethnic Backgrounds

As a society, we should all be learning about different cultures. The more we learn about them, the less likely we are to make generalized stereotypes. Stereotypes are what causes issues in talking about someone's ethnic background. Instead of asking someone about their background, we make statements based on what we assume to be true. Instead of assuming, learn.You should ask someone about their ethnic background to learn more about them as a person and to learn about their culture. Sometimes, it's hard to identify stereotypes we may have. The more you learn about another culture, the more those stereotypes are broken.

Let's Keep The Conversation Going

This has become a sensitive topic in our society. People get too nervous of saying the wrong thing and end up not talking about ethnicity at all. We need to challenge this and get the conversation going. The more we talk about race and ethnicity, the more walls are broken down.I want my kids to grow up in a society where they can be proud of their ethnic background and not feel ostracized for it. They love being biracial because they get to see amazing things from their culture. This can stay the same if we let all the stereotypes go and break down barriers between each other.

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