5 Reasons Your In-Laws Are All Up In Your Business

During your relationship, you may start to notice just how involved your in-laws or future in-laws become. You may not have come from a family who is overly involved in each other's lives so it's a new concept for you.You try to be polite and smile but in the back of your mind, you're wondering when it's going to stop. You even convince yourself...My in-laws will back off a bit when we get married...One day, they'll give us a bit more room to breathe.When they see I'm here for good, they'll relax.Then the happy and joyous day comes.. You get married and you tell yourself, you're free. Now, it's all going to calm down and you can finally be a private couple. You don't have to worry about the overly involved in-laws and how it's just you two.The days start to roll by, then weeks, and maybe months.You sit down and think #&$&. It didn't stop. Now, you're married into it and have a glimpse into a future of living with critical and bossy relatives.Before you hide under your blankets and start yelling, think about something with me. Let's take a deeper look into the situation and find out whey they're like this.What causes them to jump into your business every time?What makes them feel like they can share advice for every single fight you have?

# 5 Reasons Your In-Laws Are All In Your Business

They Care About You

At the end of the day, they like you. Okay, they may be starting to like you, but they like your partner. They want you guys to be happy together and they may even be worried you still need them.As a mom, it's your mother in law's job to take care of her kid. Now you and her kid are together, starting your own family. She's trying to figure out what she can do for you as a couple and how she can make you two to be happy and successful.

They Want You To Make The Best Decisions

They may worry you still don't know exactly what you're doing. I often look at my kids, wondering how they'll ever survive without me! Even though you're both adults, the thoughts still cross their minds.They worry you'll make the wrong decision so they jump in and "gently shove" you towards what they believe is the right choice.

Letting Go Is Harder Than You Think

Your in-laws were responsible for your partner for over a decade. They were there for every snotty nose, coughing spell, late night, doctor visit, and tough choices. Now, they're expected to sit back while life happens all around their kid.They probably know they should sit back and let you guys make your own choices, but it's not as easy as you think.

Family Expectations Are Different

This is where things really get crazy. In your family, starting your own family may mean everyone else steps back. However, it may not be the same in your spouse's family. In many families outside of the US, getting married doesn't mean parents are now out of the equation.It means you've been added into their equation. Now instead of a couple living their lives on their own, you're a family doing things together.

They Want A Special Place In Your Lives

Beyond the cultural differences you may be facing, in-laws just want to know they have a special place in your lives. They may jump in every time they think you need them just to remind you how vital they are.It's scary when things change.Starting your own family means their place in your life transitions and they're trying to figure it out with you.

One Thing You Can Do...

Give your in-laws a bit of a break. Try to see it from their positions. It's not easy when life and roles change.However, for the couple that's been going through this for YEARS... Try to create an open dialogue with your in-laws. Find areas in your life they are needed or could help you with.Let them know they are needed and have a special place in your lives. It helps them to feel validated and also helps to strengthen your relationship with them. They don't want to feel like you're always trying to get rid of them. They do notice.Help then find out where they belong in your new family.