Letting Go Of Who Culture Says You Should Be
Letting Go Oh Who Culture Says You Should Be
About 4 years ago, I was sitting in my kitchen. I was feeling overwhelmed with all the pressure I had on my shoulders to be the perfect Indian wife.In all honesty, I was beating myself up. I was feeling crushed under the pressure to be the perfect Indian wife. It didn't matter what I did, I couldn't do anything Indian enough. I had been married for a few years at that point and I thought I'd have it figured out by then. Instead, I was just disappointed in myself. I was questioning if I'd ever be able to get there.
Would I ever be the perfect Indian wife?
Then it hit me.No.The answer was so simple, but the freedom I felt from saying it felt incredible.I would never be the perfect Indian wife because I'm not Indian. I may have teased that my tan skin during my wedding did, in fact, mean I was East Indian, but I wasn't.I married my husband, knowing he was East Indian and he married me knowing I wasn't. I was enough for him, so why was I pressuring myself to change?There are so many interracial couples out there doing exactly what I did. They're pressuring themselves to fit an image culture has created for someone else.Multiracial families break the mold when it comes to what it looks like to be a wife, girlfriend, husband, or boyfriend. There isn't one image that works for everyone because we're all blending cultures in our families differently.This is how The Almost Indian Wife was born. I knew I wouldn't ever be able to become the perfect Indian wife, so I asked myself who I was. This is a huge question for anyone.
Who am I?
Then it came to me. I was The Almost Indian Wife. Every time I say it, I smile. The Almost... It's a reminder to me that I'm my own person. While I love Indian culture and I'm always looking for ways to bring it into our family, I'm not Indian. I even tease my husband that we're the Almost Indian Family!The Almost Indian Wife isn't expected to do everything the Indian way. She isn't expected to be the perfect Indian parent. She's navigating between two beautiful cultures and making the rules for herself.Today, I want to take a moment to remind you that you're enough. You don't have to change yourself for your relationship. You don't have to be the perfect partner based on your partner's culture.
Your partner fell in love with you and not for an idea of what you would become.
Today, I welcome you to the Almost club. This club is full of people who pride themselves on being who they are. Don't worry we don't have any cheesy chants or songs (until I can think of one!). By joining, all you have to do tell yourself, I am enough.Your confidence will help you get through anything that comes your way. It took me a long time to be confident in being The Almost Indian Wife.In all honesty, I had to start walking it out before I felt it. Sometimes your feet need to tell the rest of the body what's going on. By walking out your confidence, even if it's not quite there, you're still making a commitment to yourself.You're committing to loving yourself whether you feel it or not.You're committing to being proud of who you are. Take a moment today and really think about the pressure you're putting on yourself, like I did. Then ask yourself that question. Who am I?