How To Keep My Culture Alive While Living Abroad
I'm very excited to join up with Lauren from English Wife Indian Life to share our stories. We're sharing how keep culture alive in our multicultural families. I share how we keep my husband's Indian culture alive in the US and she's sharing how she's keeping her English culture alive while living in India.
How To Keep My Culture Alive While Living Abroad
When I married an Indian, I remember thinking how lucky our children will be to belong to two extremely different cultures. As soon as I found out I was pregnant, I spent hours researching baby names that would fall easily from both tongues. Then I started to worry, my own cultural identity has been questioned numerous times, from “you should be more Indian now you live in India” to “it seems you are not proud to be British anymore”.Will my child have a similar experience? Will my child feel British at all growing up in India?India is the country I have called home for three years. Since leaving England to start a new life with the man I love, I have been learning about Indian values and traditions. In fact, I made it my mission to learn as much as I possibly could so I could understand my new family and the world around me. There are so many amazing things I want my son to learn and enjoy from Indian culture, but what about his other culture?I thought about the ways I have managed to maintain my culture in India, what parts are so important to me that I couldn’t leave them behind when I took off from Heathrow. I don’t want to force either culture down his throat, but I do want to give him the opportunity to experience both sides of his heritage.
Enjoying a Full English Breakfast
The food we eat says a lot about who we are, our lifestyle and our heritage. In a couple of weeks, I going to start weaning my son, which has put the emotional aspect of food in the spotlight. I can’t predict what his tastes will be, but I would hate for him to have the same problem I have.I’m so attached to English food that I daydream about it! It has a huge sway on my emotional wellbeing when I am unable to indulge in cheese or bread. Finding quality cheese and bread in the city I live has been a struggle. I want my son to enjoy a variety of cuisines, give him as much choice as I can. I would hate to be visiting England and have to make something separate for him because he has the same emotional attachment to Indian food as I do to English food.
Celebrating Christmas, Easter and Pancake Day
Every Christmas morning I woke up with a stocking on the end of my bed, stuffed with small presents from Father Christmas. If we were living in the West, we would be surrounded by Christmas, but living in India, it’s my job to cultivate the spirit.I don’t want to lie to my child about Father Christmas, for starters we don’t even have a chimney, but I don’t want to lose one of the very few family traditions I have (especially when my husband’s family have hundreds). I still remember how disenchanted I felt with the entire world when I found out Father Christmas wasn’t real. It broke my heart. I’ve thought about this extensively (probably too much) and found a solution.There is a ten day Hindu festival celebrating the elephant God, Lord Ganesh. The tradition is that families bring a clay idol of Lord Ganesh into their home, bringing his spirit into the house, and enjoy their time with him. I thought of Father Christmas, and he is the symbol for the spirit of Christmas (jolly, giving etc.). I’m sure my children will understand it this way, and avoid the minor breakdown I had when I was about seven.
Please and Thank You
When I first moved to India, everyone laughed at me for saying “thank you”. Hysterical laughter that made me feel uncomfortable and insecure. Still, I continued to say thank you, it’s not only a habit. It’s a compulsion. It’s not that Indians are rude, concept of politeness is vastly different in India. I would say by Indian standards, I can be (unintentionally) very rude sometimes. I want to encourage my son to say please and thank you, avoiding the disapproving looks when we visit England.
Making the Most of Trips to Britain
We may not have as many traditions and festivals as India, but our little island has beauty, history and fun things to do. It dawned on me as I was flying to India, my son’s childhood will be drastically different from my own . There are so many things I remember with great fondness, and I want him to have the opportunity to experience them too. Therefore, I have promised myself that when we do visit England, we will not waste a moment.
Bring my Culture to India for my Son
When I started to write this post, I thought about the ways I have brought British culture to India and it made my stomach turn. Britain ruled India for almost 100 years before India achieved freedom in 1947. After all the bloodshed, enslavement and stolen wealth, the British retreated after the independence movement, known for its nonviolent philosophy. The actions of some of my ancestors in India were awful and inhumane. I feel ashamed when I read about the brutalities and injustice.That being said, I believe that people cannot be blamed for the actions of their ancestors, religion, nationality or race. It’s also important we don’t wipe away history from our consciousness, to learn from mistakes and treat everyone equally, regardless of race, religion, gender or nationality.In the end, that is what I hope most for my son (and any future children we are blessed with), that they are kind, open minded and respect all living things.
Be sure to follow Lauren on English Wife Indian Life
The Legacy My Husband Is Leaving For His Kids
The Legacy My Husband Is Leaving For His Kids
Today is my husband's birthday and we're spending it celebrating him and everything he is to our family. He woke up this morning to three anxious little boys and homemade birthday cards! My boys love their daddy to the moon and back and couldn't wait to wake him up with birthday wishes!Being a dad is hard work. You're always trying to figure out how to be exactly what your kids need. You want to make sure you're being a great example while also inspiring them to be world changers.It's a lot to carry on your shoulders.Through it all, my husband is leaving a legacy for his children. This legacy is going to teach them what it means to be young men, a dad, and a husband.
3 Lessons My Husband's Legacy Will Teach Our Children
How To Take Care Of Your Family
I talk a lot on the blog about my traveling husband. He's gone frequently throughout the year for work, but what you may not know is that it's hard. Part of the traveling is fun and exciting. He's been able to experience so much because of his job, but he also has to miss out on a lot.However, his kids know how hard he works for them. He even books his tickets so he gets back in the middle of the night so we all get to wake up with him in the morning.My husband is always taking care of us. He works hard to provide for us and always makes sure we're taken care of.
What It Means To Be Vulnerable
As a man and father, you want to teach your kids to be strong. My husband has taught his kids to be strong, but more importantly he's taught them how to be vulnerable.My husband has shown my kids what it means to be imperfect. They know they don't have to do anything to prove themselves to him. All he wants is for them to be real and honest with him.If they're feeling scared, he holds them.If they're feeling discouraged, he empowers them.He's done this by being vulnerable with them. He's the first one to let them know if he's feeling down discouraged. This not only brings them closer together as father and son but will help them as they grow into the men they're becoming.They'll bring this vulnerability into their friendships and even their future marriages.
How To Love Their Future Wife
My husband and I got married when we were really young. We've grown up together over the last seven years. Our marriage has been anything but perfect. We've had our struggles and out triumphs. Throughout it all, he's always loved me.My boys have been able to be blessed with parents that truly love each other. They've never had to worry if we're going to stay together because even while we're fighting, they know we love each other.My husband has shown my kids what it means to truly love their future wife. Love is a feeling and choice. My sons have seen my husband love me through every season without fail.They've seen him love me, even when I'm being crazy.They've seen him love me in the midst of scary times.I know they've seen it because it even affects how they love me, their mom.
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My husband has truly changed our family. He's loved us without fail every day, he's chosen to be vulnerable with us, he's always taken care of us, and he's the reason our kids will grow up to be amazing fathers.
Let's take a moment to celebrate the fathers in your life. Remind them how much they mean to you and what they've done for your family.
My Multicultural Family: A Letter To My 5 Year Old
Dear Baby Boy,
Today is the day you've been counting down for. You're 5! You're 5 years old! My little baby is 5 whole years old. Even though you're so excited to be one year older today, momma wishes I could slow it down a little more.
Every night while we're praying, I pray God will make you stay my little boy forever and ever. You stop me every time and remind me God won't listen, with your little frantic voice. You want to be big so bad. You want to skip it all and be a big kid.
I hate to break it to you Baby Boy, but you will always be my little baby in my eyes. Even as you get bigger and don't need to depend on your momma as just as much. I'll always see you as the little baby that changed my entire life. I waited my entire life to be able to hold you in my arms.
You made my little world so much bigger.
You showed me what it means to love someone so much it hurts.
You taught me to see the best in everyone like you do.
You showed me what it means to be a loving unna (big brother).
Baby Boy you are teaching all of us more than you know. Your little brothers look up to you and I do too. You have such an innocent little heart and remind me every day to love people more. You love everyone around you and would do anything for them.
I can't wait to see the young man you grow into. You're going to be a world changer. All you have to do is be you because you are enough. You are such a blessing to everyone around you.
xo Momma
I was recently inspired by another blogger over at Baby Making Machine about the importance of making memories. She interviewed her little girl on her 6th birthday to remember it all and I'm doing that today too!
5 Year Old Birthday Interview
What's your favorite color? BlueWhat's your favorite food? Mac N CheeseWhat's your favorite thing to do? Camping OutWho's your favorite superhero? ThorWhat do you want to be when you grow up? A Grown UpHow many kids do you want to have when you grow up? ThreeWhat do you think makes someone a good daddy?Being nice.What kind of daddy are you going to be? Just like my daddy.
12 Things Parents Of Mixed Race Kids Hear
Parents of mixed race kid are constantly having people come up to them and asking them wildly inappropriate questions. Can you relate to any of these?
12 Things Parents Of Mixed Kids Hear
1. Can I touch his hair?
2. What are they? No, really. What are they?
3. She doesn't act...(Indian, Hispanic, etc.)
4. I'd never guess he was...(Insert ethnicity)
5. He's mixed isn't he!?
6. Are they adopted?
7. Are you the babysitter?
8. Do you think she will be confused about her race growing up?
9. Are you worried he won't fit in?
10. She's lighter than I thought she'd be...
11. What languages do they speak? Indian? African?
12. Mixed babies are the cutest!
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