What Can I Do If They Won't Speak My Language?
Early on in an interracial relationship, one of the most uncomfortable moments is sitting in a room where everyone is talking in a different language around you. So many things start to go through your mind...Are they doing it because they don't like you?Are they talking about you?You start questioning their motive and whether or not they're welcoming you into the family. A few years, later you realize it's just a part of the game. Honestly, at some point they have talked about you, but most of the time they're just talking.It's different in every family. In my experience, my in laws speak in Telugu because it's comfortable and a part of who they are. It was the first language they learned so why wouldn't they speak it when they're together with their family?They don't do it the whole time I'm there, but I couldn't imagine asking them to speak in English when I'm around. That's just me and may be completely different for you.You may be married into a family where they do it out of spite... Maybe they truly aren't welcoming you in, don't speak in English at all, or they're just learning to be aware of the language when you walk into a room.Whatever they reason, most of us have been there. So, what do you do? What is your response in that moment?Instead of getting upset, I'm here to help you find a few different ways you can respond and maybe even get you to smile in that moment!
6 Responses When You Have No Idea What's Being Said Around You
At the end of the day, you can't control what people do. The only thing you can do is choose how you respond to the situation. Here are a few ways you can respond and bring a smily to your face in the moment!
Smile and Nod
While they're talking in front of you, just smile and nod. Unless they're in a heated conversation then put on your best angry face! This is the "Let's hope it stops soon" situation. Most likely they'll start speaking in English soon so you just wait it out.
Laugh When Appropriate
Pretend like you're completely in the conversation. If everyone's laughing, start laughing with them! You'll nighter get their attention and they'll laugh with you or they'll stare at you wondering what you're laughing about. Then you let them wonder what you're thinking.
Secretly Learn The Language
This is my favorite. Secretly learn the language. Then you can sit there in those conversations, knowing exactly what they're saying. Wait for the best moment to finally catch them talking about you! Aha! I knew it! Then you can pull the most epic moment ever and respond to them in the same language!
Go Take A Nap
While they're talking, sneak away for a little r and r. Maybe they won't even notice, but at least you get a nap out of the situation. This was my go to response when I was pregnant with my kids.
Gentle Hints
Oh, what was that? I couldn't hear you. What did you say?After enough "gentle" hints they'll get the message and hopefully start including you in the conversation.
Have Your Husband Interpret
Let your husband be your covert spy. Have him interpret the conversation for you. Although let me warn you right now the jokes they make are never funny after being interpreted. They loose all humor in translation and you may regret having him interpret everything for you.