Meet Molly, A Fellow Almost Indian Wife

Today I am very excited to introduce you all to my friend Molly. She’s a fellow Almost Indian Wife and just got back after living in India with her husband. She took some time to share about her experiences in a new culture with all of us!

Molly tell us a little about yourself.

Hello everyone, my name is Molly Elliot and I’m married to my wonderful husband of 4 years, Jim Elliot. Jim and I were married in India, November 2012, and soon after that we came back to the U.S to work and save some money. We just came back to Bangalore, India January 2015 and have lived here ever since.These are pictures of our wedding.

What was it like for you living in India? Can you share a bit about your experiences?

My experiences while living here in India have been both good and bad. I understand each state has their own culture, but I’ll share my experiences living with a Tamil family. My husband and I came here to do ministry alongside Jim’s dad who is a pastor, as well as help raise 11 street children (girls) that they have been running since 2001. We currently live with the girls, my in-laws, and Jim’s two sisters. The boys home (15 boys) is separate from the girls’ home, outside city limits.We live in a three floor house, the ground floor is my in-laws space, first floor is our space, and the second floor is the girls space.

What struggles have you faced while living in a new culture and home across the world?

One of the biggest struggles for me since we’ve moved here is not having our own place. In America, Jim and I lived on our own for two years, we learned how to survive with each other. Here in India, the son has the responsibility of taking care of his parents until their death. This was a huge strain on our marriage because I wanted it to be like America; live in our own house with our own rules, our own privacy, go to the in laws house if not every day then every other day. I wanted our life to be exactly the same as it was, but I learned the hard way that it would never be the same. Usually our day begins with being woke up by our wonderful neighbor who sweeps the outside of his gate at 3:30 in the morning for an hour, right outside our window. That’s one common thing you will see, all the women get up early to sweep the outside because of all the dust, then (if they are Hindus) they will decorate the cement with chalk designs.Then we go downstairs, have our morning tea, you can NOT start your day without having chai tea! we have our Indian breakfast which is usually; Dosa with Chutney, Idli, or Puri, or my ABSOLUTE favorite; Masala Dosa. Breakfast is my favorite meal of the day because it doesn’t involve rice.

Next, we have lunch around 1:30 pm and you can’t miss the chai tea at 4:00, and then we eat dinner at 9:00. Dinner was a big struggle for me, because we eat dinner at 6 in America, and I’ve tried to get everyone to eat earlier (for health reasons) but they just hate the thought of eating early. I get along with my in laws very well. The mothers will do anything for their kids! especially if he is the son. I notice Jim’s mom treats Jim differently than his sister, more in a “respectful” way. That’s another thing I learned, women are less valued then men. Whenever we have guests come over, it’s always the men that are served first. The women have to eat last after the men have left the room. I thought it was horrible at first because in America we always sit together as a family, but that’s not the case here. After I came, they knew how important eating with family is to me, so we always sit together now at the table, sometimes I have to force my mother in law to eat because she insists on being the last to eat.We also eat with our hands, at every meal. The first time I tried, it was a disaster. I had rice everywhere and I couldn’t get it in my mouth without half of it on my chest, but with practice I got the hang of it now.This is how we buy fruits and vegetables, they come right to the door!

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