How To Challenge Racism And Prejudice As A Family

Over the last eight years in my interracial marriage, my eyes have been open up to a new world.

I had no idea how sheltered I was in my own little bubble. I grew up in a white community, with a white family, and white friends.I loved everyone I met, so it wasn't an issue of any ill-feelings on my part. I simply didn't know a life outside my own. I never learned about cultures around the world other than the little bit they teach us in history class.It wasn't until I married my wonderful husband that I saw the harsh reality that racism exists. The fact that an entire people group could be stereotyped as one personality or one characteristic of an extremist. It's easier for society to clump people together rather than get to know the actual people involved.Even though you may have the same ethnic background as someone, by no way means your culture was the exact same growing up. Our culture is so much more than just our ethnicity. It's the way you grew up, your beliefs, whether or not you were the oldest in the family, the situations you've experienced, and everything that has shaped you to be the person you are today.

Racism and prejudice aren't hidden from society. It's out in the open every day.

We see it in the news.We see if when we walking in town and someone crosses the street just to avoid walking next to a man of color.We see it when people make a rude, stereotypical joke to a friend.We see it when people spew hateful, toxic things to people they've never even met.It's happening every day, all around you. Here's the problem. People either give excuses to why they did what they did or claim they didn't know any better. We're no longer living in a day and age where those excuses work. We are fighting for a better world for our kids. This fight means we have to stand up and say this is not ok. We have to challenge wrong thinking and start learning about those around us.

Let's start by learning a few definitions.

Racism: prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race based on the belief that one's own race is superior.Prejudice: preconceived opinion that is not based on reason or actual experience.Ignorance: lack of knowledge or information.Racism and prejudice are both learned behaviors. Through out our lives people have shaped what we believe. Maybe you grew up in a family that made racist remarks. Or maybe they lived in their bubble like I did growing up and didn't know better.

Either way, ignorance leads to both racism and prejudice.

So how can we stop it? What can we do to make sure our kids don't learn this hate?We can teach our kids. It starts as simple as that. We can help them to have a deep love for cultures around the world. We can remind them to ask questions when they don't know something rather than lay a stereotypical label on it.Remember, kids learn by example. You need to be the right example to them and challenge yourself. If you mess up, admit it to them and have a conversation about it. If you see someone in their life, whether it's a family member or someone in the media, call out bad behavior. Don't ignore it when it happens. If you do, your kids will be left trying to figure it out on their own.

How can you challenge racism, prejudice, and ignorance around you?

Three Reasons You Should Love Your Mother In Law

3 Reasons You Should Love Your Mother In Law

Oh, mother in laws.You know who they are. You fall in love with a man. Realize he’s the one. Then you meet his mother. You’re terrified because you know you have to impress her. You know you'll officially be in each other's lives forever and it needs to go well.Then you enter into a relationship full of ups and downs, bickering, laughter, and love. It’s easy to blame your mother in law for so many things, but that will change one day.I was recently at my friend's wedding and I melted during the mother-son dance. All I could think about was the fact that one day, I will have to give away three of my baby boys. Then we'll be transitioning into a new dynamic. It won’t just be my husband, little boys, and I anymore.

This is the first time I’ve thought about blending families from this perspective.

Now, I’m wondering who has it worse: the mother or daughter in law. The daughter in law is coming into a new family and has to navigate her way through a relationship with her mother in law. The mother in law has to step back and watch a new woman come into her baby boy’s life. Her relationship with her son changes and she has to navigate her way through both relationships.It’s easy to look at this stage in life and blame the mother in law for everything that goes sideways. That all changes the moment you look into your little boy’s eyes and he asks you if you will marry you one day.

Then you realize you will be the mother in law one day.

After my little three year old proposed to me, I had to explain to him he will fall in love with a girl one day and marry her. Do you know what he told me? He said I love you, mama, can I marry you?Yes. Yes, you can.Here are a few reasons you should remember how great your mother in law is...

She raised the man you fell in love with.

This woman raised the man you love. She taught him his first words, how to read, how to boil a pan of water, how to speak to women, and how to be a respectful man.

She handled all of the difficult years so you could reap the benefits.

She dealt with the endless teething nights, temper tantrum toddlerhood, and rebellious teenager years. Her consistency and hard work paved the way so you could have the sweet and gentle man he is today.

She trained him to treat you like a queen.

It’s because of her that he treats you so well. She taught him how to treat women by being a good example. He loved her and she taught him how to show her love by respecting her, loving her, and taking care of her.This woman is the reason you have this man you love. Take a second to realize how blessed you are to have your mother in law. You wouldn’t be where you are without her.

Share one story about you and your mother in law!

How To Raise Globally Conscious Kids

After talking with a few multiracial families lately, I'm seeing a popular question. It keeps coming up and I think it's a fun one to talk about together!How can I raise globally conscious children?Many of us think our kids are automatically exposed to diversity because they're growing up in a multiracial family, but it shouldn't stop there. We should always be exposing our kids to different cultures and ways of life.It helps them feel more confident in their biracial identity or multiracial family. It also helps our kids to be a part of a generation that understands how important ethnic diversity is in our world.We all have so much to teach each other and I for one want to teach my kids how great it is to learn about people around them. I want to nurture their curiosity and teach them it's okay to ask questions. I want them to have that little fire inside of them that makes them want to know how people live around the world.So many of the world's current problems could be solved if we simply cared about people around them. The first step is learning to be globally conscious as a family. Show your kids what it looks like and have fun doing it!

How To Raise Globally Conscious Kids

Watch foreign movies together!

This is an easy one! Head over to Netflix and check out all of their foreign family films. All you need to do is put on the captions and you're good to go. You'll hear fun new music, see different places around the world, and your kids will start asking questions!It's a fun way to get your kids exposed to a different culture and find a new family favorite movie!

Cook a dish from a different country.

Find a new cuisine to try out and let the kids help prepare it! Get their hands dirty and have fun! You can even take it up a notch by using utensils used in different parts of the world as well! Kids tend to be hands-on learners and cooking is a fun and simple way to learn something new. Not to mention it means family time!

Give up utensils for a night and see how they eat in India.

After eating Indian food with my hands for almost eight years, I hate eating it with a fork! I would never have expected it but now it's normal in our house. Teach your kids the technique East Indians and Ethiopians use when eating with their hands.

Attend a local community festival celebrating a different culture.

Most towns offer different cultural events throughout the year. Check out your town's website and see what they have to offer. Then schedule it into your family's calendar.These events can be a show, food show, music, crafts, or fun activities. It's a great change of pace for family night and helps your family step out of their comfort zone to try something new.

Fill Your Home With Diverse Books

This is one of my favorite ways to expose my kids to different cultures. We always look for books that talk about kids from across the globe. Each book is a glimpse into a different child's life and the customs they follow. This helps broaden their views because it becomes normal for them to see diversity.

Listen to popular hits, even if it's in a different language!

Turn up the music and dance! We have dance parties at our house every night and recently we've been listening to new music. One night we'll listen to Bollywood music and the next night we may be listening to music from somewhere deep in Africa.The kids love it and are always searching for new music to dance to!

How Can You Teach Your Biracial Child To Be Proud Of Who They Are

Teaching Your Biracial Child To Be Comfortable In Their Own Skin

Being a child is hard. We always tease our kids about their "difficult" lives when they're throwing a tantrum over too much jelly on their sandwich, but hey. While the jelly dilemma is full of toddler drama, kids really do face some difficult challenges.

As a child, they don't know who they are and there is an inevitable realization for them. One day, they're going to wake up and realize they're different from their friends. As a biracial child or a child in an intercultural family, they're going to realize they don't like their friends or don't sound like them.

My husband went through his inevitable realization after he moved to the US from India...

While my mother in law was finishing nursing school, my husband lived with his relatives in India. After a few years and a nursing degree, he moved home to his parents. At the time, Telugu was his first language. He understood English, but he was more comfortable with Telugu as that was what he had been speaking for the last few years.

He was both excited and terrified to start school. He knew right away that he was different from his friends, but the idea of making new friends was all he could think about. 

On my husband's first day of school, he was asked to tell the class about himself. He started to tell everyone about his kukka (dog) when they erupted into laughter. They started teasing him and asking why he talked funny. 

In that moment my husband made a choice. He didn't want to be different than his friends and stopped speaking in Telugu in front of anyone, but his family. He even lost his accent as soon as he could. 

He was only four or five years old when this happened. As a little boy he knew that there was something different about himself and was embarrassed. As an adult, he still regrets that. He still speaks Telugu, but no where near what he could have if he had made a different decision and continued speaking it fluently.

As the parents of biracial children, it's our responsibility to teach them how valuable their differences are.  Those differences are what make up our beautiful children and we need to find a way to teach this to them. Here are 3 ways to encourage children to love themselves as the unique and biracial children that they are.

Surround Your Child With Diversity

Your child needs to be surrounded with diversity. They need to understand that they live in a diverse world and not feel like the only biracial child around.[tweetthis display_mode="box"]The more diversity your children are exposed to, the more comfortable they are with themselves. #aiwtribe #mkbkids [/tweetthis]You can do this by showing diversity in their books, food, friend groups, school, movies, and more. This doesn't just mean their own culture. They need to be exposed to multiple cultures because it creates an environment of acceptance rather than intolerance.Plus, it's exciting! It's always fun to learn about new cultures and the more they learn, the more they're going to want to teach their friends!

Reject Negative Messages About Biracial Kids

It's easy for kids to start believing the messages that society tells them. Society tells them they aren't good enough. As their parents, it's your job to tell them they're amazing as they are every day. Build their confidence now so they can face negative racial messages later.The more comfortable your children are with themselves, the more likely they are to educate ignorant people rather than respond in anger. People are going to say mean and negative things. As much as you would love to prevent your child from dealing with it, there's nothing you can do. What you can do is teach them how to respond.Their confidence will help them to challenge the ignorant statement rather than let it make them feel bad about themselves.

Encourage Your Child To Share Their Culture With Their Friends

Parents need to bridge the gap between encouraging their children to be comfortable in their own skin to becoming proud of what makes them unique. This can happen by showing them how fun it is to share their culture with their friends.You can have a special night where you have your kids invite their friends over for a special feast that includes traditional meals, invite them to a local cultural event, or watch a family friends foreign film together.When a child is proud of something, they want to shout it from the roof tops! They can't wait to tell special people in their lives about it. Culture should be the same way. If you're child is still uncomfortable with the fact their different from their friends, you may have to be the one encouraging them.Start by taking your entire family to a fun event that shows off your culture. Ask them if they want to bring someone. If they don't it's ok. Give them time. The more common it becomes for your family to do these things, the more comfortable they'll become and the more likely they'll want to show it off to their friends.

How are you teaching your kids to be proud of what makes them unique?

Personalities You Can Find At A Sleepover

If you look carefully you can spot a few distinct personalities at every sleepover! Here is what they look like! 

One of the biggest rites of passage for a child is their first sleepover. It's terrifying and exciting all at the same time. They desperately want to prove to their parents and friends that they're big and brave enough to stay somewhere else all night. All while they're inner child is begging them not to go! When they finally get brave enough to try they realize how fun sleepovers can be.As a parent we have an internal struggle of our own. We want them to have their independence and go for a night, but we see them as the little baby we held as an infant.Will the other parents know what to do if they get upset? Will they know what kind of cereal they like for breakfast?Then we finally get brave, let them go, and realize we all survived the night. Then they start having sleepovers every weekend. Some end up at a friends and some end up at yours. Sleepovers at your own house are a whole new ballgame. You no longer just have your kids that you have to take care of, but a friend lovingly entrusted you with theirs!As we've started to do more and more sleepovers at our house, I'm starting to see a trend. There are certain personalities that show up at every sleepover. If you're not careful two of these personalities can rub each other the wrong way and send your semi-crazy night into a full blown crazy house!

The Types Of Kids You Have At A Sleepover

There are always a few personalities you can spot at a sleepover and I feel like I can identify which one my kids are already.

The Rule Follower

The child who constantly reminds their friends of the rules. If one of their friends dares to break a rule, they will run to the closest adult to let them know about said offense. Or they take it into their own hands and try to keep everyone in line.

The Dare Devil

The child that just has to test the rules. They have to know what will actually happen if the break all the rules. If they jump on the couch from the coffee table, sneak their spaghetti onto my light colored rug, or shake up a pop bottle. Don't even think about leaving this child alone during the night!

The Silent Instigator

The child who's too scared to be naughty on their own so they try an "encourage" their friends to do all the things they wish they could. They end up flying under the radar because they don't ever get caught in the act. This is the one you have to watch out for.

The One Upper

The child that has to top everyone else's stories or things they do throughout the night. This is the kiddo that can cause a parent's night to get out of control because it's never good enough. They have to be the bravest, toughest, and coolest kid of the night.

The Crier

The child you have to watch for at the end of the night. When they start putting on their jammies and realize they truly are staying the night the tears start coming. They start asking for mom and dad. Then they start trying to figure out when they get to go home. If you're not careful this can end up with mom and dad driving to your house in the middle of the night. Distract. Distract. Distract.

The Angel

The child you wish you could keep! They listen to you all night while having fun with their friends. They tell you what a fun parent you are and beg to come to your house all the time! You may even throw in a few "well intended" comments to your own kids about how much their friend likes you and how much nicer they are to you than they are.

The Sleeper

The child that always falls asleep before everyone else. They try their hardest to stay up late with their friends, but they can't help it. They fall asleep during the movie and on the couch during the game. This is the kid that usually ends up with pictures on their face or shaving cream...

Which personality best described you at your own sleepovers as a kid?

I was definitely the rule follower. I was way too scared to break any rules, much less encourage other kids to do the same thing. Now my oldest son is exactly the same! He's the one yelling at his friends for whispering after they all go to bed and reminding them of the house rules. As his mom I'm proud of him, but as his friend I have to remind him to live a little sometimes!My husband on the other hand was the dare devil. He always had to do something crazy and dragged his friends along with him! The best was visiting his house while we were dating and going downstairs to see little holes all over the basement wall. I asked him how it happened and he said it was an air-soft gun war he had with his friends... He's definitely getting it back as a parents because our three year old is our little dare devil! He's always looking for something crazy to do!

Which personality fits you or your kids?

How Can Schools Embrace Diversity

Over the years, my children have learned they're biracial. They realized they were different than their friends and that our family does things differently. We wear Indian clothes for holidays and special events. We eat Indian food with our hands. Daddy speaks two languages. Mommy is white. Daddy is brown. At first, I was worried they would be insecure over feeling different, but their differences are normal to them. They've grown up being biracial, it didn't just happen over night. They grew up blending cultures. Their normal is what they'll compare everything else to.As parents, we need to shape what's normal for our children. This means we show them diversity at home and every where they go.What about when they get old enough for school?It's becoming more common for schools to be made up of a diverse student body. The problem is the school itself isn't teaching diversity as what's normal. They get worried about highlighting a student's differences instead of teaching them to embrace it. If schools were to teach children to embrace what makes them unique, I truly believe bullying would go down. 

How Can Schools Embrace Diversity

Focus On All Major Holidays

During Holi (an holiday celebrated in India), my Facebook feed went crazy! My friends in India and the US were celebrating. Colleges in the US were even celebrating the colorful holiday by taking the colored powder to the lawn and having a great time! However, the one place I didn't see students celebrating or even talking about it was in elementary schools. They missed a huge opportunity to teach kids about India. Schools say they don't celebrate most holidays because of the religious ties to them. Just because you talk to your students about a holiday in India doesn't mean you need to convert them to hinduism while you're at it. By teaching students about major holidays celebrated around the world, you make students from those countries feel accepted and normal. You're also opening up your student and teacher's minds about something different to them. 

Ask Questions Instead Of Avoiding Situations

I recently heard about a school where the principle will avoid saying international student's last names. During an assembly, he will list off first and last names until he gets to them and then he just uses their first name... Do you think that student feels normal or accepted when their own principle is too embarrassed to try and say their last name? No. All he had to do is get to know his students and ask them. By asking how to say their last name correctly, the student can see that the principle cares. Often times, teachers and adults will avoid topics because they're embarrassed. It only leads to students feeling ostracized and abnormal. Instead, they should be facing those situations head on and educate themselves.

Teacher Trainings 

Teachers need to be educated on their students. They need to understand who they are, where they came from, and general religious practices. These trainings are the perfect time for teachers to ask their questions without a fear of saying the wrong thing. As teachers become more comfortable with different cultures, their teaching style will change. You need to know your students to know how you can teach them and how to really speak into their lives. --We need to bridge the cultures gap at home and in our schools. Diversity needs to be what's normal for our children, rather than teaching them to avoid talking about what makes us different. 

What else can schools do to embrace diversity?

How Can You Teach Your Children About Diwali

Lately, most of our mornings have started extremely slowly. We wake up, I make my iced coffee, the kids eat oatmeal, and we drudge over to the school table and get started. I'm blaming this on the the blustery grey weather we've been having. It just makes you want to curl up in bed with Netflix or a good book. Today, started much differently. Yesterday, I gave my kids a sneak peak of our new Festive Roots box. They couldn't wait to open it and explore this morning! They woke up and ran straight to the school table, begging to begin for the day.Festive Roots is a fantastic company with the goal to teach kids about different cultures!!  They sent us their Diwali Trunk and we couldn't wait to check it out! If it can get my kids to beg me to start school so they can dig in, I'd say this product is perfect for all of you! As soon as we opened the box, bright orange confetti spilled out. My kids thought it was Christmas! The Diwali Trunk is filled with three separate crafts to teach your children all about this special holiday! Diwali is also known as The Festival of Lights. These trunks are a brilliant way to show your children the different festivals that occur in India. Each craft comes with all of the supplies needed and super easy to follow instructions. My kids loved getting their hands dirty and creating these beautiful crafts. Teaching your children about different cultures and holidays through hands on experiences is a guaranteed way for them to learn! My boys were on the edge of the seat the whole time. They couldn't wait to start each craft and for me to explain what Diwali is all about.  If you're looking for a simple way to teach your children about the world, this is it! Festive Roots offers a one time purchase or a subscription. We are definitely going to sign up for the yearly subscription. It will teach my boys about four different festivals and I won't have to come up with the crafts on my own! I'm definitely not a crafty person and I love how beautiful and easy these are!Be sure to check them out today! Diwali is right around the corner and this is the way to teach your family about The Festival of Lights!Use the coupon code AIFDiwali and get $5 off your order!Make sure you LIKE their Facebook page so you can stay updated on new promotions! 

*This post has been sponsored by Festive Roots. All opinions are my own.*

11 Tips For A Spooktacular Halloween!

(Halloween last year with my little ones!) 

Halloween is right around the corner! Kids can’t wait for a night full of costumes and candy.  

This will be our third Halloween with our kids. We have one failure and one success under our belts. We’ve made the simple mistakes of taking our toddler out too late in the midst of scary costumes. Our oldest still talks about the scary guy he saw! We also have a kiddo allergic to chocolate and we ended up having to take away most of his candy he got from trick or treating. 

 

This year my husband and I are going to make sure it's great by implementing all of the advice we've gotten over the last few years. 

 

Here is a list of tips to make sure your Halloween is spooktacular in all the right ways. 

 

1. Make sure your kids can be seen by putting reflective tape on their candy bag or let them wear glow stick bracelets/necklaces. 

2. Don’t let your kids go off alone, while out as a family. Be sure to stick together.

3. If you’re in a group, make sure each child is assigned to an adult. It’s easy to think your child is taken care of in a group. Make sure by knowing which child each adult is responsible for. 

4. Go trick or treating on well lit streets. 

5. If it’s cold out be sure to layer up your kids under their costumes. 

6. Feed your kids an early dinner before they go out so they don’t snack on candy all night. 

7. Check all of your child’s candy before they eat it.  

8. If your kids have allergies, pick up a bag of candy they can have, so you can swap them out at the end of the night. 

9. If your child goes out alone, know where they are at all times. Decide on the routes your children will take.

10. Make sure your child’s costume fits properly so they don’t get hurt or their vision is obstructed. 

11. Bring a few healthy snacks to let your kiddos eat if they get hungry while you're out. 

 

Here are some amazing tips for taking pictures of your kids on Halloween too!

 

Do you have any tips for families on Halloween?

How Can We Teach Our Children To Be World Changers?

People are always telling me to enjoy every minute of parenthood. To be honest, some days are just survival so it can be difficult to savor the moment. Especially when I’m trying to fish my son’s ninja turtle toys out of the toilet. Today, I was searching through old pictures to see baby pictures of my little boys. Then the emotions hit and I realized just how big all three of them are. They aren’t itty bitties anymore.

(From the left: Liam, Levi, and Lucas)

Now, they’re becoming little men. My four year old is starting pre-k this year, my two year old is developing his LOUD personality, and my baby is getting closer and closer to his first birthday.

I find myself using the “I’ll do it when they’re older” excuse a lot. I have three kids under five. There is so much I want to teach them. So much I want to show them in life, but I should wait until they’re old enough to understand, right? No. They may not understand some huge concepts right just yet, but you can bring it to their level now and start. We need to teach our kids about the world. We need to show them how unique every culture is and how each one makes the world a better place. We need to teach them all to stand up and challenge prejudice and racism and love everyone. We can’t wait. We need to start today. So, what can we do today to teach them to be world changers and how to stand up against intolerance?Teach them about the uniqueness of other cultures.This one seems like an easy one, but it can be overlooked. We need to show our kids other cultures. This can be done by introducing them to foods foreign to them, reading books about different customs, listening to music, watching movies, attending festivals, etc. We aren’t limited in the ways we can teach our kids about the world around them. The more they know about other cultures, the more they can challenge ignorance.Use every moment as a teaching opportunity.Every moment with our child is an opportunity to teach them about the world they live in. It would be nice to keep them from the negative lessons; however, it’s impossible. Situations will occur around them and their little brains instantly start trying to process it. Ignoring it, crossing our fingers, and hoping our child didn’t notice won’t work. We need to use it to our advantage. We need to teach them what they could have done in the situation or why it’s wrong.The opposite is true as well. We can highlight the moments that show the love of other cultures and tolerance. As our child sees examples of what to do, they will start figuring out what it would look like in their own life.Encourage them to have a voice.Kids have so much to say. They can ramble on for hours about Legos, dolls, and what they did yesterday. That means they’re finding their voice. They’re figuring out what they think about the world and how to explain that to us.It’s easy, in the midst of a busy day, to quiet our kids and push them off.Give me a minute, I’m working.Can you tell me later?Hold on.Instead of pushing them off, listen. We need to pause everything we’re doing, listen, and hear what they have to say. As we reinforce them by making them the priority, they will gain the confidence to speak up more. If they’re going to be world changers, they need to have the confidence to speak up and say what they think.Then we can take it a step further and ask them what they think.How do you think we can teach our children to be world changers? 

How To Survive A Traveling Husband Or Busy Week

When I tell people what my husband does for a living, they look at me and my kids and give me a big hug! They’re always asking how I manage.They wonder how I’m still alive with three kids under four and a traveling husband. Well, it’s a little crazy around our house while he’s away. 

 

If we were a traditional Indian family, one of Joel’s relatives would have moved in with us to help. Indian families are extremely close and they always step in when they see a need. I’ve been very blessed to have a great family as well. Every time I’ve had a baby, our family members fly or drive to see us and help. I don’t think I could have made it past the first few days without them. 

 

The first few days of a new baby are full of sleep depravation, spit up, dirty diapers, crying, and the zombie walk. You know what I mean by the zombie walk. You can hardly function because you've only had a few hours of sleep, but you have to get up and take care of the baby so you walk around in a daze all day. My husband has always been a HUGE help at night. He pretty much does everything at night so all I have to do is nurse the first few months. 

 

Now that Lucas is a few months old, I’m getting more sleep and we’ve fallen into a routine while he’s away. If your husband travels or has busy work weeks, these are a few things that can help you and your family. 

 

Freezer Meals.

 

I spend a few days, before my husband leaves, making a handful of freezer meals. I usually make breakfast burritos, chicken or veggie burritos, pasta sauce with meat, naan, keema, and muffins. You can spend a day making everything and freezing it or you can make extra throughout the week and freeze your left overs.

 

Schedule.

 

This has been a new development. I’ve never liked schedules, but I’ve started to use them more and more with my kids. I have a family schedule we loosely stick to during the day. It helps the kids and I to know what to expect and also helps us be productive. Even if “productive” means we merely get dressed that day. It also helps me to have a purpose each day so we don’t fall into the daze while my husband is away. I also make sure to schedule in quiet time every day. My youngest two nap and my oldest will either nap or read books. Either way, I get time to myself each day.

 

Alone Time.

 

This is one I’m working on. I always get alone time while my kids nap, but I often find myself napping as well! A friend of mine gets a babysitter the same day each week. If her husband is home, they go on a date. If he’s gone, she goes out with friends or alone. It’s well worth the cost of a babysitter. We love our kids, but we also need time for ourselves. It helps us to stay sane and love them a little more.

 

What do you do to help your family or yourself on those crazy weeks? 

Kids Say The Darndest Things

If you've heard me ramble on about my kids or have met them, you know they have very unique personalities. Well, the first two do. My little itsy, bitsy Lucas is too little to know his personality well yet. Liam and Levi on the other hand are always keeping me busy. Liam is my sensitive little social bug. He loves talking to people and being in big groups of people all the time. He's also the most sensitive little guy. My husband and I aren't so we've had to pray for understanding. Especially, when were faced with water works because Levi looked at him wrong. All we want to say is suck it up, but instead we ask why it hurt his feelings. Other times, his sensitive little heart overwhelms us. He is always the first one to take care of one of us if sick, rub our backs if he thinks we're sad, or tell us how beautiful or handsome we are. Levi is our crazy, rebellious child. It's always interesting to hear what the teacher says on Sunday mornings because we always faced with a new story. It's typically Levi hit someone so I put him in time out and he smiled the entire time. This kid LOVES time out. He loves it because he sees his older brother go in it and feels incredible pride when he gets to. He's always looking for something to get into or destroy, but then he will greet you with cuddles and an arm around your shoulder afterwards. He melts my heart and drives me nuts at the same time. Put them together and you get something pretty amazing. Here are a few of their conversations from the week. 

“Mama is that your soppy (coffee)?” -Levi

“Yes.”-Me

“No it’s my soppy. My friend said yes.”-Levi

 

Levi starts crying in the living room. 

“Levi, wait! Stay here. What happened?”-Liam

“You boom boom me!”-Levi

“Oh, I’m sorry. Levi if you sit here and tell me what happened you won’t be in trouble. I won’t tell mom.”-Liam

“Ok."- Levi

 

"Mom, I need candy cereal for dinner. If I don't my tummy will hurt."- Liam

 

"Mama, I sit with you. Liam needs pankin because he boom boom me." -Levi

"NO, I DIDN'T! HE PINCHED ME!" -Liam

"Levi, did you pinch your brother?" -Me

"Umm. Probably, no." -Levi

 

I love that my kids are getting old enough to talk with each other. Sometimes, it's not very nice and its Liam manipulating Levi or Levi lying to Liam. That's ok. They're learning. This is my favorite little conversation from this week. 

 

"Levi, I love you." -Liam

"I ya you most." -Levi

 

What's your favorite conversation from your kids or kids you've been around this week?

 

St. Patrick's Day

Happy St Patrick's Day everyone!! 

What are our plans today you ask? What grand Pinterest projects have inspired us today on this special holiday? 

 

Nada. 

 

Nothing. 

 

My children are too young to know much about St Patrick's Day other than the fact their classroom is green. I could have been a great mom and made green treats, played fun games, pretended a leprechaun came into our house, but no. Instead our day is just like any other day: wrestling boys, messes, sword fighting, dirty diapers, and mischievous children. 

 

Will I make a big deal of this holiday in the future? I don't know. I have nothing against it and it could be a lot of fun. However, I've got to keep my children's expectations low. If I started to do extravagant leprechaun traps now at 3 months, 2 years, and 4 years old... what in the world would be expected in five years! They'd probably expect a real leprechaun! 

 

Or maybe I know my trap would look like a mangled mess and my kids would stare at me in disappointment. My Pinterest projects have definitely failed.. a few times. For instance, on Liam's second birthday I made a jello aquarium. It was going to look beautiful. It was going to be a fish bowl filled with light blue jello and have Swedish fish floating around. Instead it was dark blue jello with dead looking, sweedish fish floating on top. Oops. Luckily, Liam only noticed that their was candy in it and didn't mind that it looked terrifying. 

 

For now, I'm going to keep these little holidays simple. I figure I have another year maybe two, and then my kids will be demanding all sorts of extravagent holiday projects and activities. Who knows, maybe by then I will become a little more crafty and be able to do fun things for them!

 

What about you. Do you go all out on St. Patrick's day? If so what do you do? 

Family Essentials: 6 Things We Can't Live Without

Every single night, we go through the same dilemma. We get our kids ready for bed. Which is pretty much an hour of chasing the boys, getting their pajamas on them, Levi stripping naked, getting his pajamas back on him, convincing Levi to let me brush his teeth, keeping Liam away from water so he doesn’t wet the bed, finding Levi has made a disaster in the kitchen, and finding the elusive puggy (paci, binky, or whatever you call it).

 

When we move, we’re going to find dozens of them around the house. We have purchased COUNTLESS puggies, but it doesn’t matter. They always go missing. The funny thing is that Levi always finds them when we take one away from him. I swear he stashes them around the house. However, when we need one at night, none of us can find one.

 

I was thinking about it today and realized there are a few things our family can’t go without. They all make our life a little better.  

 

1. The ergo.

 

This thing has saved us so many times. We have tried a handful of carriers over the years, but this is my favorite. All of your child’s weight is in your hips, not your shoulders. You can wear it for hours and it’s comfortable. The best part is that it’s good for children from birth until three years old; although, I think it's best from about 3 months on. It's a little too loose when they're itsy-bitsys. 

 

2. The baby.

 

This is Toothless and he is Liam’s favorite toy in the world. We can’t go anywhere without him. He’s also our third Toothless, not that Liam knows of course. We have lost him time and time again. This little guy is ten dollars at Target. They have the characters to different kid’s movies and our kids love them. I love the price too because you know we will end up needing a fourth Toothless. 

 

3. The boots.

 

Independence is vital in a house with three kids under four. I love it when my kids can do little tasks on their own. I’m still waiting on the independent seat belt buckling. That day will be glorious! For now, my favorite is the fact my older two kids can put their own shoes on. We have about six pairs of rubber boots. I don’t care what the weather is like. The answer is always easy to slip on rain boots. 

 

4. The coffee.

 

This is an obvious choice. Coffee consumption is the only way to stay sane with three boys. 

 

5. The books.

 

Our house is full books. We’re all readers. I love that this has been passed on to our children. They could sit in our living room with their piles of books for hours. It’s so great for their imagination! My youngest Liam has even started to learn how to read!! It's so much fun!

 

6. The puggy.

 

We have probably spent a few hundred dollars on these bad boys. Our first child hated them. I think he associated them with bed time and refused. However, our second kiddo is OBSESSED. In fact, I constantly find him with two in his mouth at a time. We had our third kiddo and Levi, our second, forced one on him. Now, he’s obsessed. 

 

What are the essentials in your house?? Post a picture and tag me and use the #almostindianwife. 

How To Respond To Racism

I recently watched a video floating around the internet. The video shows a Sikh boy being called a terrorist, while riding home on his school bus. He responds by recording the event. A little warning, he decides to call them a mother f$&@ker. I'm sorry, but I can't say I'd stay calm in a situation like that either! This brings light to a bigger issue. Why was the girl in the video using a word as colorful as terrorist? She must have heard this before from someone in her life. Children imitate behavior they have seen. Racism is all around us. It may not be as prevalent where you live, but it happens every day. It's happening in grocery stores, at work, and on school buses full of children. 

 

Stories like this infuriate me and my anger stares the ignorant person right in the face. If I were in this situation, I would be yelling and showing another "great" example. So, what should we do in response to racism?

 

Stay calm

 

Don't respond in your anger. As hard as it is to not let your anger fuel your words, you need to take a deep breath. Separate your emotions from the situation as much as you possibly can and remember this is an opportunity to fight racism. 

 

Don't laugh

 

I've heard advice from people, saying you should laugh it off. Don't worry about it and just laugh so they stop talking about it. No. Laughter at racism only reinforces racist behavior. Whether it's a joke or a derogative comment, don't laugh. Racism is not funny. 

 

Ignore it or confront the issue. 

 

This is a tricky decision. You can either ignore it and walk away or confront the situation. Think about the situation. Are you in a state where you can respond in a constructive manner? If not, walk away from the situation. You can confront it later when you've calmed down. There's no need to get into a screaming match. Chances are the person won't hear a word you're saying anyways. When you are calm or if you are ready to confront the situation in the moment, take a deep breath and respond. 

 

Confront the issue, not the person

 

Confront the issue at hand, racism. It goes beyond one ignorant person and brings us to the culprit. Racism is fueled by ignorance. If the racism is in the form of a joke, ask them why they think that's funny. Or simple say, you don't think comments like that are appropriate. 

 

It's easy for us to ignore a situation so we don't stand out. Maybe, we want to fade into the background.. Maybe, we don't want the drama.. Regardless, racism is a global issue. Its victims are adults and children, children trying to ride home on a school bus. Stand up against racism. 

Enjoy Every Season Of Parenting

People are constantly asking us if we were crazy, deciding to have three boys so close together. Maybe a little, but I’m loving this decision more and more everyday.

 

Everyday I look around at a messy house, knowing it was caused by creative little minds at work.

 

Everyday I look next to me to see all three boys within arms reach, fighting over who gets to cuddle mommy more.

 

Everyday I hear them in their rooms playing, while Liam teaches his younger brothers valuable lessons.

 

Everyday they try to convince to me to extend their bedtime for a few more weeks.

 

Life with my three little boys is truly a blessing. Yet, there is a constant fear in the back of my head. Time. As much as I try to hold time still, I feel it falling through my fingers. My babies are growing so quickly. My little Lucas Love is now in three-six month clothes. I’m not a sentimental person, but I couldn’t help getting emotional. My boys will never be in newborn clothes again. They won’t ever fit in the itty bitty clothes, filled with memories.

 

I know what you’re all thinking. They will just have another one. I can’t even begin to think about having another little one right now. I was eager after the first too, knowing I wanted a big family. This time, I find myself trying to make time stand still. I can’t think of the next baby because all I can think about is keeping my three boys small forever.

 

Parents are always staring at my boys, reminiscing over their little baby days. It’s been so long for them, they find themselves begging to hold Lucas. In the back of my mind I’m thinking your children are independent! I long for the days of independence.

 

This week it hit me. Independence means my little baby boys won’t be little baby boys forever. Maybe I’m ok with my dependent little babies. Maybe I don’t want them growing as fast as I thought.

 

Every stage has been so fun so far. My husband says Levi’s age is his favorite. He’s mischievous and full of such innocence. 

 

You’ve probably heard this before, but take time to realize what a blessing this season is. This season right now. Your children are growing up before your very eyes. Instead of wishing they were just a little bigger to make things just a little easier, soak it all in. 

 

Soak in the cuddles, the kisses, the chaos, the imaginations, and all the little baby coos. Remember it doesn't last forever, but hold on tight while you're in it. 

 

What's your favorite stage of parenting so far?  

Sunny Days and Play Dough

Warm, sunny days in the Pacific Northwest are beautiful. My husband, boys, and I could spend the entire day outside, exploring. My husband and I watch the kids pick up sticks and turn them into swords while Liam sings the theme song to Jake and the Neverland Pirates. This week was one of those great weeks. Just about every day has been amazing. Today, we played outside for most of the day. Then we came inside, every door and window open, and made some play dough. The kids were ecstatic. They were so excited to help mommy make something fun. There are so many recipes for play dough on the internet. Some are super easy and work out well and others are a waste of time. Out of all the recipes I've found, this has been the one we use time and time again. Another great thing about this is that everything is safe to eat. My little, troublemaking Levi always tries to sneak some. Using this recipe is great because I never worry. Ingredients:1 cup water1 cup flour2 tbs cream of tartar 1/2 cup salt2 tbs of oilfood coloringDirections:Mix all of your ingredients in a saucepan and cook on low. Continue stirring until all of your ingredients start to pull together and form a ball. Let it cool and then have fun!If you store it in a ziplock bag or airtight container, it will keep for about 4-6 months. **You can use any type of oil. The only thing you can't substitute would be the cream of tartar. It is the reason it keeps for so long.**

Our Life In Pictures

Our life is always crazy and full of silly moments. Here are a few pictures of our week.

All Parent Should Listen To Advice

My little baby. I remember when I was pregnant with him. Every month was new and exciting while I watched my belly grow.

 

I had so many crazy thoughts about pregnancy. 

 

One day comes to mind. I was in the car with my husband and sister in law. We were talking about something, I haven't the slightest remembrance over the topic anymore, and it was getting heated. All the sudden I started yelling, telling them to be careful what they were saying in front of my unborn child. I didn't want all of this negativity in front of him!

 

Wow... Like my child could actually understand a word we said. I'm so grateful they gave me such grace and didn't just laugh in my face. Luckily I have very loving family who puts up with my crazy. 

 

As new parents, my husband and I had so many ideas about parenting. We thought being in youth and children's ministry made us pros. We planned on raising perfect children, since we had it all figured out. 

 

It didn't take us too long to realize we actually knew nothing about having a little baby. 

 

It doesn't matter how much you think you know, even after five kids. There is always something to learn about raising kids. Each child is different and children go through different seasons. 

 

If we would have remained the know it all parents, our kids would be completely screwed up by now. One thing I love about Indian families is their the village raises the child mentality. You're not ever on your own. All of your pinnis (aunts), mamas (uncles), and parents teach you what they've learned and give  you advice. They've taught us so much about raising kids. 

 

If I could give you new or seasoned parents advice, it would be to ask for and be open to advice from others. You don't have to listen to everything, but at least hear them out. 

 

Make sure you're only asking people if you actually want their advice. I try to only ask my close friends and family. 

 

You don't have to know everything there is to know about raising children. Accept help and advice from the people you love and respect. 

 

Share the best piece of parenting you've received from a love one on my facebook page, tag me @almstindianwife, or on Instagram with the #almostindianwife 

What Do Real Parents Look Like?

Things around our house have been a little crazy since baby Lucas joined us. Most days consist of coffee, breastfeeding, movies, dishes, spit up stained clothes, toys everywhere, constantly stepping on said toys, bad attitudes, sword fights, towers of laundry, nap time, and repeat. Our day isn't structured much beyond nap times. That might be because I count down until nap time sometimes... ok a lot of the time. Joel will come home from a trip and ask about our week. I always have countless stories to tell him about our silly boys, but it's usually not a lot of anything productive. Some days are more about surviving while Joel is away and other days we are adventurous and decide to go and have a play date. Most of the time, I'm completely satisfied with my days. I know this is a busy season for our growing family. We have three kids under four and life with them is chaotic. Then it happens... I go on Instagram or Facebook and see other moms. They snap a quick picture of their seemingly perfect lives and I stare at it for more time than I'd like to admit. I sit their thinking what a better mom they are than me, how perfect their house looks, how much fun it looks like their kids have, how put together the mom looks, how their husbands are always right their in the picture.. It's easy to start comparing myself to them. Why can't my life look like that?Wait. Why does it have to!? If you think about it, it's easy to take a peaceful picture of your beautiful living room, interesting book, and not let the viewer in on the fact that all of your children are screaming in the background. We are constantly showing the best glimpse possible into our lives on social media. I'm guilty of doing it too! Why do we do it? Well, I know I'm the one that does it to say, "Look at my perfect life." I want to show off how great it can be sometimes. I want to prove that I'm doing a good job. While it's not bad to be grateful for the blessings in our life, we need to be happy regardless of how perfect our day is. We need to be happy in the midst of chaos and in the peace and quiet. Life as a parent is a compilation of different seasons. You have the newborn season, the crawling and getting into everything season, the send them off to school my house is empty season, the oh my gosh when did my kids get smarter than me season, the wow my kiddo is my best friend season, the why won't my kid remember how cool I am season, and all of those can be great. I challenge all of you to share a real picture of your day on Instagram and use the hashtag #RealParents. Beautiful you in the middle of a messy house, with your dinner burning, and all. Ok. Well, hopefully your dinner won't be burning, but you know what I mean. It's so encouraging to see other parents in the midst of it all. We can be there and encourage each other on those draining days and jump up and down together on the great days. 

Why Are You Sorry I Have Three Kids?

If you're a kid person at all, you love babies. They're so cute! You can cuddle them, make silly sounds to them, and everything they do is adorable.When I had my first son, Liam, everyone was so encouraging! I'd walk into grocery stores and would be stopped down every aisle. They all wanted to look at the little boy with "all that hair!" They started gushing when I said he was my first. We got pregnant with Levi and most people were still thrilled. They said I was crazy to have them so close, but were still positive overall. My little Lucas, baby number three was a different story. Instead of being positive and encouraging, I got a much different response. "Wow. Are all these kids yours?""Three boys? I'm sorry."

I have heard these two statements so many times in the last month. At first I laughed. Now, it bugs me. Why are you sorry I have three boys? I'm not. 

 

I love my children. 

 

Is it always loud in my house? Yes. 

 

Do my boys have constant energy? Yes. 

 

Do they sword fight from the moment they wake up until the second the go to bed? Yes. 

 

Do they always need a bath? Yes. 

 

Do my kids require a no farting at the dinner table rule? Yes. 

 

Are they messy? Yes. 

 

Will they ever understand what an inside voice is? Probably not. 

 

Am I outnumbered by boys? Yes. 

 

Are they as sweet as can be? Yes. 

 

Does my oldest play with my hair to be sweet? Yes. 

 

Do my boys love each other deeply? Yes. 

 

Are they best friends? Most of the time, yes. 

 

Are my husband and I proud to raise all three of these boys to be strong men? Yes. 

 

Having three little boys is loud, messy, chaotic, exhausting, and a blast. I love it. I'm not sorry at all. 

What do you say when you get comments like this?