How To Raise Bilingual Kids
One thing many multiethnic families are trying to figure out is how to teach their child multiple languages. Sometimes, it seems too hard, so parents drop a language. Most of the parents I've talked to that have done so regret it. They wish they would have taught their child to be bilingual from the very beginning.
What about you?
Are you teaching your child multiple languages? Are you nervous how to do it? Do you want some advice? If so, here are some tips to help your family raise bilingual children.
Tips For Raising Bilingual Children
Start Young
Start talking to your child in both languages right away. People tend to think it will create confusion, but statistics are showing that children are more successful in learning both languages when they start young.
Family Agreement
You and your spouse need to be on the same page. It will be much more challenging to teach your child to be native in both languages if one of you wants to teach your child a second language and the other doesn't. When you're both on the same page, you'll be more proactive in teaching them.
Make A Plan
After you've made the decision, you need to make a plan. Every bilingual family looks different. While your child will be able to speak multiple languages, they could be dominant in one. You need to decide what your family wants. If you want your child to be native in both languages, your lifestyle will need to reflect this.
This could mean you ask family members to only speak their native language to your child and have them respond in the same language. Think about how you can make it happen and make a plan your whole family can follow.
Don't Panic
Take a deep breath and don't panic. Teaching your child to be bilingual takes time. They might start to mix languages or take a little longer, but it's ok. Encourage them as they go and don't rush them.
Learn your stuff
Read up on bilingual families. Look on Amazon or your local library to find resources and hear from other families just like yours. The more you can educate yourself on what to do, the more successful your child will be.
Make it fun
The worse thing to do is make it all a big chore. If you can make it fun for your children to learn both languages, they'll be more willing to put in the work. You can buy games in both languages, listen to music, get apps, and play memory games. Show them how fun it can be to learn!
Talk to your kids
One of the best ways to teach your child a language is to talk to them in it! You can go for a walk, go outside, or sit down over dinner and talk. Make sure you and your spouse plan times throughout your day to sit and chat.
It doesn't matter if you and your family members are big talkers or not, it's important to be intentional in increasing how much you talk with your child in both languages throughout the day.
Read out loud
Kids love when you take the time to sit and read with them. Regardless of how old they are read multiple books out loud to them every day. There are even bilingual book companies that want to help you! The top is English, and the bottom is the language you choose.
Do you have any questions or advice about how you can teach your bilingual children? If so, please comment and share with us!
Can I Get An Interpreter Over Here?
When my husband and I first met, we were doing an internship with our church. It was an amazing experience because we learned so much about ourselves during the program and of course met each other.The first time my husband saw me, I was interpreting for one of our morning classes. I had learned sign language the year before and helped out when I could by interpreting classes for my friends in the program.Learning sign language was amazing. It wasn't just the language I had learned that year, but I was introduced to deaf culture as well. I learned about deaf etiquette, how to interact with the deaf community, and how to blend cultures when the deaf and hearing community were together.
While I didn't know it at the time, I was preparing for a life of blending cultures for my multiracial family.
There were times throughout my internship where I would be sitting with my friends and signing for hours. If it was just my friend and I, hours would go by without me using my voice once. There wasn't any need to use my voice as long as I was mouthing the words. I was fully submerged into my conversation and didn't think twice about talking out loud.If someone that didn't understand sign would walk into the room, I immediately started voicing our conversation. I'll be honest, it took a lot of reminding because I assumed people around me understood. It became a routine that year for my deaf friends and I. I usually didn't mind, but there were times I just wished everyone knew the language. It took a lot of effort for my deaf friend who wanted to speak to everyone and I wished it could be easier for her.
Just about a year later, I was on the other side of the table.
My husband and I were getting married and we flew to Chicago. We decided to get married by his family so we could truly have a blended wedding and be able to incorporate both cultures.I'll never forget the first few times I would sit at a table without understanding a word that was spoken in front of me. My husband did his best to interpret, but he was just learning like I had the year before. It wasn't natural to him yet, so I often had to nudge his arm and ask what people were saying.I finally understood how frustrating it is to have people have a full conversation in front of you without being included. Honestly, it was painful. I felt like I was back in middle school, being left out from the group.
While I know now it's rarely intended that way, it's still uncomfortable.
You start making up conversations in your head, trying to guess what they're talking about. It makes it so much worse if you don't get along with your inlaws. Then you pick up on the few words you do know like "thella pilla" which means white girl.During my wedding, it was the first phrase I learned. I was joking with my husband and his cousins. I was laughing saying I bet everyone is talking about me and all of the things I'm doing wrong. They laughed and let me in on a little secret.Don't worry, you'll know when they're talking about you. They'll look straight at you and you'll hear "thella pilla."
A crash course into the Indian community!
I'm almost 8 years into my interracial marriage and I still encounter those uncomfortable moments. I don't know the language like I wish I did. I know bits and pieces so my imagination runs away before I can stop it.Most of those experiences have been because family is together and it feels comfortable for them to speak in Telugu. They grew up speaking it and I can only imagine it feels like home when they gather around the table telling jokes in Telugu. Those are the moments I ask my husband to interpret because I want to be a part of the group.Then there are the moments where people purposely speak another language in front of you so you don't understand. I still ask my husband to interpret, even if I can see the body language in the room is saying I probably don't want to know what's being said.
At the end of the day, if I truly want to be included in all of those conversations I have to learn the language.
I can't expect them to not speak Telugu in front of me, just like I wouldn't expect my deaf friends to stop signing.It's their language and no one can ask them to stop speaking it. I can, however, ask for my husband to be my built-in interpreter. sometimes it serves as a reminder for people to use English more so my husband doesn't have to. Or they start interpreting for me as well as teaching me what little words mean.
Have you ever been the only one at the table who doesn't know the language? What did you do?
Multiracial Motherhood: How Can You Bring Families Together?
What Can We Learn From One Mother's Story?
Happy Friday!Fridays are my favorite for so many reasons. They mean my husband gets to be home all weekend with us, they mean family night, and they means another mother is joining us for Family Fridays!This series is so special to my heart because it’s a chance for mothers to come together and share their experiences with their own multiracial family. The beautiful thing is that all of our families are unique. They all have their own special qualities, unique challenges, and different experiences.Today, Larisha from We're Parents blog is joining us! She's going to share about her multiracial family and one thing she's found that can bring all families together!
Let's Meet Larisha!
Hey y'all! I'm so excited to have the opportunity to share a bit about our family with The Almost Indian Wife crew, thanks to Brittany.Let's start with a bit of a background.I'm Larisha, a Caucasian American, born and raised in the hills of West Virginia. Andrew, my fiance, is a Jamaican American, born in Brooklyn, raised in New Jersey. Together we raise our two young daughters in New Jersey, just a short drive from where he grew up, while running our website, We're Parents, together.
Now let's rewind a bit.
Andrew and I met in 2005 during a History class freshman year at West Virginia University (Go 'Eers). The chemistry was always there, but I had a boyfriend and it wasn't until 2009 that we officially started dating. I was working on my Masters and he had just finished up his undergrad degree. He was moving back to New Jersey and we dated long distance for 3 months, then we decided that he would move in with me (WHOA, that was fast!). A few months later, we moved to New Jersey, and the rest is history (pun intended)It's been a whirlwind of an adventure and while we could tell you the stories of people asking if the girls are biologically mine, or the looks that we've received over the years while holding hands, you've probably heard all of that before or most likely experienced it yourselves.Today, I want to focus on how we've blended our cultures together SLOWLLLYYY. It was really important to me for his mom to like me. I knew she was hesitant about me. Andrew quickly informed me that if she wanted me to understand what she was saying, she would speak so I could understand. If she didn't, I wouldn't. His family speaks a strong dialect of Jamaican Patois, and while 90% of the time at this point in our relationship I can understand them, this advice still holds true to this day. Luckily, he did let me know earlier on that based on how she spoke to me, he knew she liked me.
The key -Food. No seriously.
Alan D. Wolfelt once said,
Through everything, his family has taught me about joy, togetherness, and the amazing bond that a family can having, bridging two extremely different cultures, one meal at a time.
Stay updated with Larisha by following her here!
Lessons My Biracial Children Need To Live By
The Responsibility of Being A Mother In A Multiracial Family
I always knew there would be a lot of responsibilities as a mother, but I had no idea how much it could be.As a mother, it's my responsibility to raise my kids to be strong and independent men. I want them to be confident in who they are so they can weather any storm they face in their life.My kids are biracial. They're trying to figure out who they are as Indian and Caucasian young boys. I love watching them navigate through both cultures. They have their whole lives to to figure out their biracial identity and right now it's all about the journey. They're figuring it all out one year and one step at a time.There are so many things I want them to know as they start to figure it all out. As their mother, I feel a lot of pressure to make sure it all sinks in.We tell our kids things every single day. Don't leave your socks on the ground. Don't be mean to your brother. Use an inside voice. It doesn't matter how often we say it because we'll continue to say the same things until the finally sink in.The reality is some may not. They may end up getting married and their wives are still yelling at them about their dirty socks on the floor.**Am I right ladies!?**As I watch my little boys sleep next to me on the couch, I realize out of everything there are a few things I hope and pray will sink in.
Lessons I Want My Biracial Children To Live By
Believe In Yourself
At the end of the day your kids need to be their own motivator. They need to believe in themselves so much that they don't let people put them down. Their confidence can remind them they can do anything they set their minds to.
Your Unique Qualities Are What Make You Special
As biracial kids, it's easy for them to see their unique qualities as a hindrance. Kids want to be like their friends so they don't stand out. As a mother to biracial kids we need to teach them how special those differences are. We have to help them take pride in what makes them unique.
You Will Meet Ignorant People And That's Ok
As much as we would all love to keep every ignorant person away from our child, we can't Some people will say ignorant comments to our kids and that's ok. It's an opportunity for them to challenge it. They can teach people more about their culture instead of letting their comments make them upset.
You Can Make A Difference
As a biracial child, our kids have a unique perspective on life. They will see the beauty in diversity. We need to ingrain into them that they can make a difference. All they have to do is let their courage fuel them and they can do anything.
We Love You Regardless Of Which Side You Identify With More
A struggle many biracial kids deal with is identifying more with one of their cultures. Often times it's due to which culture they are around more and that's ok. We have to give them the freedom to figure out their biracial identity on their own. As much as we would love it, there isn't anyway for them to have a perfectly balanced biracial identity.
Stand Up Against Things You Know Are Wrong
As our kids grow up, we need to show them what it looks like to stand up against prejudice and racism. Sadly it's going to happen whether we like it or not. We can't prevent it, but we can stand up against it. As our kids see us lead by example, they'll be more likely to do it when we aren't there.
People Have Fought For Your Rights, Don't Squander It
Throughout the years many people have fought for the rights we have today. It's hard for kids to see this at time because their used to their freedom. The Lovings fought for multiracial couples like us. They stood up in a time where people said interracial couples didn't belong together. It's our job as mothers to remind our kids to be grateful and to take advantage of the opportunities they have today.
Hate Doesn't Solve Anything
One of the hardest things to witness is prejudice and racism. It stirs up the momma bear in all of us because we know how much it hurts our kids and our own multiracial families. We need to teach our kids that responding in hate won't change anything. It makes us all angry, but hate is what caused it in the first place.
Love And Knowledge Are Powerful Weapons
Hate has caused so many of the terrible things in our society. It's caused people to say hurtful things and even as terrible as committing hate crimes. We need to teach our kids to respond by teaching people about new cultures and how to love each other. Ignorance fuels prejudice and racism so knowledge is key.I am always reminding my kids to teach their friends about Indian culture because most of the mean comments they've said to my kids are because they're not used to Indian traditions. They see my kids eat Indian food with their hands and make fun of them. They don't realize it's because it's what Indian families do.If I had to choose one thing to teach my kids above all else it would be this. Fight hate and racism with love and knowledge.
What do you want your biracial kids to know?
What Your Biracial Child Brings To School For Lunch Reveals More Than You Think
What Your Biracial Child Brings To School For Lunch Reveals More Than You Think
Over the last few years, my oldest son Liam has developed a huge love for leftovers. I don't know what it is, but every day around lunch time he asks what left overs we have. If by some chance we're out, he begs me to make leftovers...He doesn't just want a quick sandwich, he wants good food. He wants me to list out all the leftover options and gets excited to choose. I guess it's kind of like an international buffet at our house. We usually have pasta or Indian food like chicken curry. He's so obsessed with left overs that he started asking if he could bring left overs to school while we were visiting his cousins.Mom, will you send me left overs when I go to first grade next year?Now, his cousins are half Indian just like my kids are. They understand the multiracial dynamic because they're living it too! They're currently in elementary school and have plenty of thoughts on bringing left overs to school!
Their cousins are very comfortable in their biracial identity.
They've been to India, understand some Telugu, wear Indian clothes to events, and so on. They're also blessed with a momma that makes Indian food constantly and a daddy who makes comfort American food.I guess I assumed they'd want to bring their favorite dishes to school with them, but when I started asking them their answers surprised me.One of them told me they bring Indian food to school every single day. I wasn't surprised about this one because I've seen her devour a plate of tandoori chicken and I know how much she likes it.However, the other two said they won't bring Indian food to school and went on to tell me what their classmates have said about it in the past. Indian food has a distinct smell and their friends made fun of it. They hysterically laughed asking how they could eat that stuff.They only endured their friends bullying one time and decided then and there that they wouldn't bring Indian food to school anymore. Now, these kids love Indian food, but it wasn't worth being made fun of.
You guys, kids can be mean.
It broke my heart that they don't bring Indian food to school because of what people may say.I looked to their sibling and asked why she doesn't let her friend's bullying stop her from bringing Indian food to school. Her response was beautiful.I don't care what they say. At least I eat my favorite food every day.Boom! She hardly flinched when she said that and it's stuck with me since. I want my boys to have the same approach.As biracial kids, it's hard to be set apart. While most kids bring a PBJ to school, some kids bring traditional Indian left overs. There's nothing wrong with that! They bring what they would normally eat at home and it should be enough.It breaks my heart that kids bully each other over things they just don't understand. They look at an international dish and assume it's gross because they're not used to it.I hope and pray my kids won't let their friends determine what they bring to school for lunch.
I hope their pride and confidence in who they are helps them shrug off friend's comments.
This is why it's so important to me to have people over for Indian food and to eat with our hands. It shows our kids we won't grab a utensil just because our own friends may say something. Traditionally, you eat Indian food with your right hand in India and we do the same thing in out family.We also offer our kids and their friend's Indian treats during the day. Then we're right there if their friends say something and can gently encourage our kids to explain what it is and offer their friends some.Growing up a biracial child can bring about some unique challenges, but as a parent, I hope I can help them to build a strong identity that isn't rocked by what other people ignorantly say.
Have your kids every experienced this? If so what did you do?
If you like this, then check out this post!
15 Reasons I'm Grateful For My Multiracial Family
The holidays are always such a good reminder to sit down and think about what you're grateful for. This year I've been thinking about all the reasons I'm grateful for my multiracial family.Our family has been looking forward to the holidays for months now. We were excited to be with our family we don't get to see often, enjoy delicious holiday food, and spend hours laughing about silly things.One of the biggest reasons I've been counting down the days is because I selfishly wanted my family to myself. During the rest of the year I have to share them with school, work, and other daily responsibilities. The holidays are my chance to get them all to myself and I don't have to share them.Parents hear it all the time.Savor every minute with your family. Over the holidays, I plan to do just that. I want to savor everything about them. So today, I thought what better than a list of all the reasons I'm grateful for my multiracial family. There are so many reasons I fall more in love with them every day, but here are just a few.
15 Reasons I'm Grateful For My Multiracial Family
The bond between my children.
As my kids are getting older, I've been able to see a true friendship form between them. At first it was an extreme love/hate relationship, but their love for each other is something else. I love being able to see them encourage each other and stand by each other's sides!
The blessing of raising momma's boys.
I never would have expected to be raising three boys, but now that I am I wouldn't have it any other way! I love being a mom to three strong and vibrant little boys. Not to mention they're all mommas boys and beg to cuddle me! I hope they never outgrow it!
The ability to see how caring my children are.
Every parent wants their kids to care about people around them. Seeing it happen is a different thing all together. This week I witnessed my son encourage his cousin who was crying over a game. I reminded him to give his cousin space so he could calm down, but he wouldn't budge. He had to stay until his chininna was feeling ok again. I love watching this because it shows me that they actually care.
My husband is an amazing role model of what it looks like to be a great daddy.
One of the reasons my kids are the way they are is because they have a great daddy to look up to. Their daddy has shown them what it means to provide for their family, be loving, take care of them, and how to always strive to be your best. They love their daddy so much and I am so grateful to see how close they all are!
I get to help shape my boys into the little men they will grow into.
Sometimes parenting is completely overwhelming. It all adds up and you ask yourself what you're even doing! Then you realize that all the hard work you put in every day is for your kids. It all adds together to help shape your kids into the adults they're going to be. What an honor to have such a special place in their lives.
My husband and I get to teach our boys what it means to be in a loving marriage.
My husband and I are going on year seven of marriage. We are anything but perfect and have our fair share of ridiculous fights in front of our kids. In spite of our imperfections, our kids know without a doubt that we love each other. They know we'll fight to keep our marriage strong and that they can feel safe.
We get to go on adventures together.
We have been extremely blessed over the years and have been able to go on dozens of family adventures. As I write this we're cozied up in bed in Texas visiting family. I love being able to make these memories together.
We are blessed with two beautiful cultures in our family.
As a multiracial family, we get to give our kids two different cultures and help them blend together to create their own cultural identity. I love watching them process through it all and find new things to fall in love with in each culture.
My kids are healthy.
We've had some pretty big health scares this year with our youngest son. As I look at his sweet little sleeping face I'm reminded how lucky I am that he's here with me and healthy. I'm beyond grateful that I am able to say all three of my kids are strong and healthy.
We have a huge support system.
Throughout all of the hospital scares this year, I've never had to worry about my two big kids. We've had a huge support system come around and take care of us.
I have the best partner in life.
My husband is my best friend. Not many couples can say that and truly mean it. The last year has brought us closer together and I am grateful to say he's the one I get to spend my whole life with.
My kids want their parents to join in on the fun!
I know it may not always last, but as of right now my kids beg us to play with them. They want my husband and I to be apart of their little games and it makes my heart so happy.
We actually want to hang out with our kids!
As our kids get older, they're getting to some pretty fun ages! They can actually play fun group games and I have to admit... my husband and I actually want to hang out with them! I love how our family nights have become about board games and fun activities together!
Our kids teach us something each day!
I love that I can learn so much from my kids. They teach me to have patience and more love in my heart for those around me. They remind me that not everything is as big as it seems. They lovingly encourage me every day that family is what matters.
I love my little family.
At the end of the day, I am just so overwhelmingly in love with my little multiracial family. They have made my life something so much more beautiful than I ever thought possible.