Holiday Gift Guide From Around The World

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It’s that time of year. Parents are looking for a good gift guide. Children are writing down their Christmas lists and getting excited about what they’ll get! They usually have A LOT of ideas about what they want. My kids are adding to their lists every day! As of right now, it's full of Avenger's toys, costumes, video games, and candy.. 

 

I put together a HUGE gift guide for you and your family.

 

I’ve added some traditional East Indian accessories, amazing children’s books from around the world, my top books, and some MUST haves in the kitchen. 

 

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Traditional Accessories/Clothing- Gift Guide

 

I love Indian accessories. I've been blessed with so many items from my in laws when they go and visit India. Here are a few items you can get for yourself or a loved one without having to leave the country! I even threw in a few Indian outfits! 

• Bangles
• Necklace And Earring Set
• Ankle Bracelets
• Earrings 
• Pink Kurta
• Red Kurta

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Children’s Books About The World- Gift Guide

 

We LOVE reading in our house. One thing we try to do is expose our children to books from around the world. Here are a few children's books that will liven up your children's book selections!

• Drum 
• How Tiger Got His Stripes: A Folktale From Vietnam
• The Clever Monkey: A Folktale From West Africa
• When The Sky Is Far Away: A Nigerian Folktale
• Nelson Mandela's Favorite African Folktales
• The Well Of Truth: A Folktale From Egypt
• We’re Sailing Down The Nile
• The Green Frogs: A Korean Folktale
• Anansi and the Tug O' War
• Mama Panya’s Pancakes
• The Story Of Little Babaji
• The Boy And The Tigers

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Books For Adults- Gift Guide

 

Don't worry, I wasn't going to forget about you! Here are a few of my favorite books! They are full of inspirational stories of men, women, and children. You're bound to have some down time over the holidays, be sure to pick up one of these!

• I Am Malala 
• The Secret Life Of Bees
• The Help
• The Kite Runner
• Life Of Pi
• The Book Thief
• The Boy In The Striped Pajamas
• Unbroken

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Cooking- Gift Guide

 

Do you enjoy cooking or do it enough you want to make it a little easier? Here are some MUST haves in the kitchen and I even threw in my favorite chai tea! 

• Chai
• Mortar And Pestle
• Pressure Cooker
• Bamboo Spice Jars
• 16 Ounce Mason Jars
• 4 Ounce Mason Jars
• Chalkboard Labels For Jars With Pen
• Cast Iron Dutch Oven
• Rice Cooker
• Spice Grinder
• Food Processor 

Did you like the list? If so, please share!  

What Do I Do If My Loved Ones Family Hates Me?

In a perfect world, your relationships would be supported by everyone around you. They would only see the love you have for your loved one and nothing else would matter. Instead people get held up on race, family background, and just about anything that makes you imperfect in their eyes. So, what do you do? What do you do if your relationship isn't supported by the people you love. What if your own family doesn't support your relationship? Do you let their opinions prevent you from being with the person you love? What if that choice means you or your loved one will get disowned from your family? 

Make your choice together. 

You need to sit down with your loved one and make the decision. Being in an intercultural relationship comes with it's challenges. These challenges are different for each family, but none of those challenges can compare to the love you have for one another. However, an un-supporting family can be destructive in a relationship.You both need decide if it's worth it. If it is then grab each other by the hand and face life together. You have to stand together otherwise the challenges can tear your relationship apart. You need to support each other.All you can do is trust that they will see the love you have for each other and grow to accept it. At the end of the day it's their choice to accept your relationship or not. It won't be you that changes their mind. They have to choose to be open to your intercultural relationship. You can't let their unwillingness prevent you from loving each other. Family is extremely important and I'm not saying throw your family away. What I am saying is that you can't choose how people respond. All you can do is be willing to fight for your family to accept your relationship. 

Take it one day at a time.

Sometimes the challenges that can come with an intercultural relationship are overwhelming. You can get lost in it and lose sight of what's important. All you can do is take it one day at a time. Remember you love each other and that love is what's made everything worth it. Take your relationship with your family or your new family day by day. Just be yourself. Take every smile they give you, every nice comment, or any attention they pay to you as a success. It's one more positive experience with them that you can put under your belt. Try to let go of the negative experiences with them. They aren't worth remembering or wasting your time on. Instead try to build on the positive moments. 

You're enough. 

The biggest thing you need to focus on is that you are enough for each other. You're in this relationship because you are more than enough for one another. Don't let your in laws or your family's feelings about your relationship make you think you aren't enough. Often times, the problem isn't you. It's the idea of someone or something they didn't expect. They either expected someone within their race, religion, or similar family backgrounds. They don't know how to react to something different so they turn it into anger towards you. Don't let this drag you down.You are enough. Your relationship is worth any challenges that may come up because you love each other. Hold onto that love and let it change people. 

Have you experienced similar struggles? What advice can you share with us?

Featured On Masala Mommas

 I'm very excited this morning! Why, you ask? I've been featured on the amazing Masala Mommas website! This blog has encouraged me in my relationship and given some very meaningful advice in raising our kids. Here is a snippet of my article I shared with their readers...My husband and I knew, early on what we were signing up for. While we both grew up in the US, we were raised in two very different cultures. If we were going to start a family together, we were going to have to blend two distinct cultures. We never hesitated. My husband was very comfortable with western culture and I was excited to learn more about Indian culture.We both knew it would be a lot of work to make our intercultural relationship work, but we loved each other and knew we could to it. It would take patience, a lot of communication, and an open mind.Read more here. 

Culture Clash Wednesday #3 Sibling Dynamics

This week I want to share a culture clash my husband has experienced. We are both the oldest in our families. I have six brothers and he has a brother and a sister. While we were both expected to help and take care of our younger siblings, it looked very different for us. Neither of us realized how different until we were married. We agreed to spend our Thanksgivings with my husband's side of the family, since we lived right next to mine. We always had a great time because all of the family got together, which was rare because we all lived in different cities. I would spend my time there observing and learning how to integrate myself into a new culture. One thing I picked up on rather quickly was my husband's relationship with his siblings, who were both five years younger than him. In Indian culture, the oldest sibling has a position of authority under their younger siblings. It's the oldest siblings responsibility to almost parent their siblings. As the oldest, my husband stepped in to mentor, advice, love, and take care of them. My husband told me it was always like that for them growing up. His parents taught him the importance of being the oldest child and shared the responsibility of raising his brother and sister. I even saw this with the rest of my husband's family. His mom is the oldest in the family and everyone listens to what she says. They love her and respect the advice and wisdom she has to offer.  While I took care of my younger brothers, it looked much different for me. My parents never shared the parental role, rather encouraged me to look out for my brothers. I was responsible to look out for their well being, teach them, and encourage them. My mom had my two youngest brothers very close together, so I ended up helping raise them. That was also because they were eleven years younger than me. The one thing I didn't do was major correction. If they did something wrong, I could talk to them about it, but all major correction fell under my parent's domain. This was interesting for my husband when he came into our family. He had to learn to navigate his role in my brother's lives, while respecting boundaries. This was a big culture clash for my husband. He had learn a brand new family dynamic. This is one of those culture clashes many people have faced. We all come from different families with different dynamics. This is one of the reasons I think we all have intercultural relationships. It takes time for all of us to learn how to navigate in our loved one's family. Did you experience this with your loved one? What was it like for you?

Off-Beat Marriage Interview

I'm very excited to share my interview I did with Off Beat Marriage. It is a great blog that shares stories and advice for marriages; especially unique marriages. I've read so many amazing stories from different intercultural couples on there blog. I'm so happy I'm able to share my story on there as well. Do you think I always had a desire to be in an intercultural relationship? What compromises have we made in our marriage? How did my husband's family react to our relationship? What have my husband and I learned from each other's cultures?Check out my interview today and find the answers and see what makes our story off beat. 

How To Survive A Traveling Husband Or Busy Week

When I tell people what my husband does for a living, they look at me and my kids and give me a big hug! They’re always asking how I manage.They wonder how I’m still alive with three kids under four and a traveling husband. Well, it’s a little crazy around our house while he’s away. 

 

If we were a traditional Indian family, one of Joel’s relatives would have moved in with us to help. Indian families are extremely close and they always step in when they see a need. I’ve been very blessed to have a great family as well. Every time I’ve had a baby, our family members fly or drive to see us and help. I don’t think I could have made it past the first few days without them. 

 

The first few days of a new baby are full of sleep depravation, spit up, dirty diapers, crying, and the zombie walk. You know what I mean by the zombie walk. You can hardly function because you've only had a few hours of sleep, but you have to get up and take care of the baby so you walk around in a daze all day. My husband has always been a HUGE help at night. He pretty much does everything at night so all I have to do is nurse the first few months. 

 

Now that Lucas is a few months old, I’m getting more sleep and we’ve fallen into a routine while he’s away. If your husband travels or has busy work weeks, these are a few things that can help you and your family. 

 

Freezer Meals.

 

I spend a few days, before my husband leaves, making a handful of freezer meals. I usually make breakfast burritos, chicken or veggie burritos, pasta sauce with meat, naan, keema, and muffins. You can spend a day making everything and freezing it or you can make extra throughout the week and freeze your left overs.

 

Schedule.

 

This has been a new development. I’ve never liked schedules, but I’ve started to use them more and more with my kids. I have a family schedule we loosely stick to during the day. It helps the kids and I to know what to expect and also helps us be productive. Even if “productive” means we merely get dressed that day. It also helps me to have a purpose each day so we don’t fall into the daze while my husband is away. I also make sure to schedule in quiet time every day. My youngest two nap and my oldest will either nap or read books. Either way, I get time to myself each day.

 

Alone Time.

 

This is one I’m working on. I always get alone time while my kids nap, but I often find myself napping as well! A friend of mine gets a babysitter the same day each week. If her husband is home, they go on a date. If he’s gone, she goes out with friends or alone. It’s well worth the cost of a babysitter. We love our kids, but we also need time for ourselves. It helps us to stay sane and love them a little more.

 

What do you do to help your family or yourself on those crazy weeks? 

An Imperfect Marriage: Should We Put Our Spouse First?

This man. We’ve been together for almost six years. Looking back over the last six years amazes me. I can’t believe we have fit so much into such a small time. We’ve moved around and lived in two different states, had three beautiful sons, purchased a home, and are about to sell it so we can get something that fits our growing family better.

 

We’ve learned so much about each other and life. 

 

Marriage is hard work. We’ve told each other sorry hundreds of times, said I love you thousands of times, hurt each other, and made each other extremely happy. I don’t regret any of our hard times. Those hard times got us to the place we are now. My husband is my best friend. He’s taught me so much and loved me unconditionally. 

 

I recently realized something I should have known the day I said, I do. It probably would have saved us many hardships. My husband cannot be everything for me. He has to be second. God has to be first. 

 

My husband and I are two imperfect people with imperfect pasts. We’re sinners. We have sinned countless times and there are consequences to those sins. We can’t expect each other to fulfill every single thing we need. The only one that can do that is God. He is perfection. He won’t ever fail us, leave us, betray us, hurt us, or disappoint us. 

 

If we hold onto this truth, we can have grace for our spouse. We will stop expecting them to be perfect and we can fully depend on God. 

 

I want my children to see my marriage and learn something from it. Don’t we all want that? Don’t we all want to teach our children something valuable; something that can save them from hardships? 

 

Here are a few things I want to teach my children from my marriage. 

 

God has to be first.

 

It’s so easy to expect the impossible from our spouse. We want them to be perfect and never fail us. It’s not possible. Expecting this will only lead to problems in your marriage. It also takes away our reason to depend on Christ. If our spouse was perfect, we wouldn’t need a perfect God. 

 

Apologize.

 

You and your spouse will hurt each other. It’s inevitable because we’re all sinners. When it happens, you need to apologize. It’s never easy. My husband and I have had so many fights where we wait on the other to apologize first. My pride has gotten in the way so many times and my husband was often first. Or we would go to bed angry and forget about it by the next day. It seemed like a great idea. We’d wake up and our anger would have passed. However, we never ended up dealing with the things that caused us to fight. Apologize frequently, every time, and humbly. 

 

Fight openly.

 

Fighting brings out the worst in you. Being the incredibly “perfect” person I am, I tend to yell or say ridiculous things when I fight. Often times, people try to keep their fights to themselves. You will be mid fight, someone will come over, and you will act like everything is fine. Now, I’m not saying every fight is meant to happen in public. What I am saying is don’t put on a show for people. If someone is coming over and you’re mid fight, say I love you and agree to discuss it later. We also fight in front of our family and children sometimes. This holds us accountable to what we are saying and teaches us how to communicate. Not to mention, a few little boys to remind us when we’re being mean to each other. Liam has told Joel and I to be kind to each other many times. It always stops us dead in our tracks, prompts us to apologize to each other and Liam, and realize we’re constantly teaching our children with our actions. 

 

Marriage is tough work and such a blessing from God. As I’m learning to trust God fully, I’ve found myself falling more in love with my husband. 

 

What is the best advice you have received for your relationship? Share it with us in the comment section. 

My Intercultural Love Story- Guest Post

I'm very excited to be partnering with Madh Mama this morning and sharing my Intercultural Love Story. Madh Mama is one of my new favorite blogs. She has a very similar story to my own. She married her East Indian husband, had an adorable little girl, and is now navigating life through two cultures. On her blog, she shares Intercultural Love Stories and her experience in Indian culture. Make sure you check her out.Check out her blog this morning to see my story. She asked me questions about my husband, family, how we met, and a handful of others. Heres a little peak.  

Three Steps To A Loving Marriage

If I’ve learned anything in my five years of marriage, it’s the fact that my husband and I are anything from perfect.

 

He’s stubborn and laughs when he gets stressed or the situation is intense. Think about the person that laughs when someone starts crying. It’s not because they’re mean, it’s because they feel uncomfortable and know they shouldn’t laugh so they start! We’ve had many laugh fights that either end up with me fuming out my ears or laughing right alongside of him. 

 

Then you have me.. The crazy, hormonal, stubborn, head case. Granted, we’ve been married for five years and have three kids. Basically, I’ve pretty much been pregnant or dealing with the hormones post baby our entire marriage. Poor Joel has had to deal with all of my crazy emotions for quite a while. 

 

So, how can you have a good marriage when you have two imperfect, crazy people? Here’s a little tip.

[tweetthis]“Above all else, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins.” -1 Peter 4:8[/tweetthis]

The fact is we are all sinners. We constantly fall short of perfection. So, what does God say is the answer? He calls us to love each other like He loves us. Love gives us grace for each other. Instead of holding onto past hurts, we can choose to love our partner. 

 

Here are a few steps to have a loving marriage. 

We need to trust that God is perfect. 

When we remember that God is the only perfect one we stop expecting perfection from our partner. We begin to give them grace and love them faults and all.  

 

Pray. 

Pray for and with your partner every day. Pray that God will help you to love them more. As much as movies and romance novels tell us that love is purely raw heat and emotion, that only lasts so long. Most of us start off our marriage in the honeymoon stage, but then our marriage grows and changes as we do. Love is a choice. We choose to love each other when the emotions are there and when they aren’t. 

 

Stop keeping a tally on past hurts.  

It’s inevitable, you will hurt each other. Whether it be on purpose or unintentionally. After it’s all said and done, you have to let it go. Forgiveness is a process. Sometimes it’s easy to say “I forgive you,” and have it be over and done with right there. Often times, it will take more than that. Bring those past hurts to God instead of punishing your partner for something they’ve done in the past. 

 

If you’re having a hard time letting go, talk to each other. Work through it together rather than being angry alone. 

 

Marriage is fun, messy, emotional, and beautiful. Give each other grace and let your love for God and each other cover over your imperfections. 

 

Share this if you found it helpful for you. 

Marriage Advice

This year, I sat around the Christmas tree with my growing family and looked back on the last five years. Joel and I have had three children, moved hundreds of miles away from a place we once called home, got a new job, made new friends, had our ups and downs, and we’ve learned so much together. 

 

Relationships are hard work and completely worth it. Intercultural relationships brings about their own little challenges. Most of the time you have no idea what you’re doing.  I’ve learned so much and love being able to share two rich cultures with my children.

 

I love being able to share what I have learned in the last five years with all of you! I’ve received many emails asking for advice in different areas of intercultural relationships. The biggest piece of advice I’ve given is to give grace and keep an open mind. 

 

You and your partner have grown up in two different families. You may have grown up in similar families or completely different. Either way your families are still different and you both have different expectations on how things should go.

 

You need to have grace for yourself and your partner. Joel and I have learned so many things by completely messing it up. We’ve said the wrong things, hurt each others feelings, and done things wrong. Afterwards you have a choice on how to respond. We could have said hey you don’t deserve my forgiveness and you better figure out how to make this better. Instead we gave each other grace; forgave and loved each other regardless of what they deserved based on their actions.

 

There’s no rule book on how to have an intercultural relationship. Sometimes you have to figure it out as you go which means you won’t always make the right choices. 

 

You also need to keep an open mind. You both have family traditions that have value to you. They can be as simple as when to open Christmas presents, using canning jars as drinking glasses, or raising children. Regardless of the tradition, you need to be open to trying new things. That doesn’t mean letting go of your traditions, but it does mean remembering the value of your partners. Joel and I have both made silly comments about a tradition and hurt feelings. 

 

When Joel and I got married we decided to start our own family. This means blending cultures, traditions, and our lives. The only way for this to happen is to give each other a lot of grace and to keep an open mind. 

What is your biggest piece of marriage advice?

Fall To Do List

I love fall. Seriously. I count down the days until fall. I moved to the Pacific Northwest because it is pretty much fall all year around. I love pumpkin everything. I love warm drinks. I love tall boots. I LOVE scarves. I just love fall. 

 

This year it’s fall and I’m 33 weeks pregnant. 

 

It makes it a little tricky to get out and do all of the things on my fall to do list. Does that mean I accept defeat and start to complain on Facebook? Well, one mom out there has made it perfectly clear that she would like us stay at home moms to shut up and start complaining so maybe complaining on Facebook is out. 

 

I love fall too much to accept defeat as well. Instead, I’m just modifying my fall to do list to be a little more realistic for our family. Here’s what’s on our list. 

Pumpkin Carving. We decided to do pumpkin finger painting instead. Liam thought it was amazing and a lot of fun. Levi… Well, let’s just say he touched the paint and decided to protest the rest of the time because mean mom wouldn’t let him eat the paint. 

 

Leaf Art Projects. My kids and I love art projects. We definitely have to do a few of those this year. 

 

Go To The Pumpkin Patch. We went to a fun pumpkin patch last year. The funny thing is that we didn’t end up getting any pumpkins. Instead we did the corn maze, ate apple/pumpkin treats, and enjoyed the weather. This is a fall favorite of mine. 

Pumpkin Treats. Nothing can ever stop me from making pumpkin treats. I don’t even have to modify this one. My goal is to make something pumpkin each week. My favorite so far has been chocolate pumpkin muffins. Yum. As you can tell a few of them are a little flatter than the rest. That would be because as soon as Levi saw them he grabbed as many as he could, knocking the rest all over the counter. We also had M&M’s on hand so we used those instead of chocolate chips. 

 

Trick Or Treating! We took our kids trick or treating for the first time last year and it was a blast! Although we learned the importance of going out before it gets dark. We went out later and our two year old (at the time) got to see some colorful costumes. He may or may not still be traumatized from the guy that jumped up at him on the porch at one of the houses. Oops. This year we’ve decided to go out early and avoid the “scary guys” as Liam calls them. 

 

Homemade Halloween Costumes. If I can make it, chances are I’ll try. I love making things from scratch. First of all, I”m super cheap and second of all it causes Liam to think I make everything. I love it! I’m going to try my hand at making Ninja Turtle costumes this year. We’ll see if that actually happens. 

 

Thanksgiving Dinner. You might think it’s silly to even add this, but I have this nagging feeling I’ll be in labor then. I’m due December 10th. I went early with both of my kids. I could go early, on time, or late with this one. I’ve already been getting a ton of contractions and I’m just hoping to make it past Thanksgiving dinner because I’ll be 38 weeks pregnant then. Hence, why it’s on my list. 

 

What’s on your fall to do list this year!?

Blending families should be easy... right?

I’ve always been taught getting married means you leave your family and start your own. You and your husband start a new life. You get your own place, make it your own, start your own traditions, and get to know the person you will spend the rest of your life with. The concept of this is much simpler than it really is.You get married, start your own family, and have to figure out how your new family blends back into both of your individual families.I grew up in a pretty normal white family, by western standards.  My mom was a single mom for the first part of my life, got remarried, I was adopted by my dad, and met my biological father a few years ago. I can call that normal, right? Hey, I did say by western standards… Needless to say, Joel wasn’t walking into a simple family. There was tons of baggage and a long, confusing line of family history.Joel’s parents had an arranged marriage and moved to the United States immediately afterwards. His mom was finishing up school and Joel’s grandparents offered to have him live with them in India for two years until she was done. He moved back from Hyderabad and grew up with his parents in Chicago.We didn’t grow up entirely different. We both had ice cream cakes for every birthday, parents who loved us, we were the oldest siblings, and grew up in Christian families.We got married and started our lives in California. My parents and some of my brothers lived there. Joel learned the ins and outs of a white family and my family learned a bit about East Indian culture. It wasn’t always easy. We had to come into these new situations with an open mind, humble and forgiving, tons of communication, and remember that we love each other and the end of the day.We’ve never lived right next to all of Joel’s family. We were able to live in the same city as Joel’s younger brother for the last few years. We also try to visit one to two times a year. In being so far away, we’ve been slowly learning what it means to blend our little family with Joel’s. I think we’ve encountered most of it after we had kids.Even though the situations we’re confronted with are different in my family and Joel’s, the responses have to be the same. We pick and choose what we want to confront and what we should submit to. We’ve both had times we’ve had to sit down with our in-laws, apologize, and have long talks with each other.We’ve had times we treated our in-laws in a way we found respectful and later find out it’s taken in a completely different manner. It would be easy to brush it off and refuse to accept any responsibility. However, the tough reality is this is someone you will now have in your life forever. If you brush it off, welcome to a life of awkward family get-togethers you dread. Sorry, I’ve never wanted that. I love my in-laws and so does Joel. We work hard on our relationships. This means you have to look at what is respectful and expected in their culture.You’ll never get it all right. New situations are constantly arising and you learn how to deal with them as they happen. Have grace for each other and know that all the hard work you put into your relationships with your new family pays off. Blending families is one of the hardest things I’ve done. I’ve messed it up in so many ways. I’ve picked the wrong battles and made a fool of myself. The funny thing is it’s all been so worth it. I am now getting close to Joel’s family, which I consider my own. I now have another set of parents, a sister, a brother, aunts and uncles, and more cousins than I can count.Email me and share your experiences with this!  

How do you make an intercultural relationship work...

I’ve been getting emails from some of you lately on your struggles with the cultural differences in an intercultural relationship. Let’s be honest with each other. When you get into a relationship with anyone, expect cultural differences and all of the struggles that follow. Either way, you and your partner grew up in different families and different ways. Two different cultures if you may.It doesn’t matter what kind of relationship you are in, you will always deal with compromise and communication. If you want a perfectly easy relationship, stick to fiction. If you want a real relationship with anyone, remember there will be struggles, compromise, you will often not know what to do or who is right, you will challenge each other, grow together, and your relationship will reap all the blessings of your hard work.I love my husband more today than I did when we got married. Why you ask? I love him more now because we have worked hard for our relationship and always strive to make our marriage stronger. If you have ever been around us, you know that we fight, bicker, I’m always trying to convince him I’m right about everything, he thinks laughing while we fight is necessary, and we usually have no idea what we’re doing.We often come up to a crossroads in our marriage. Do we do what Indian culture says to do or do we do what Western culture says to do? There is no perfect answer to this question. It changes with every situation. I walked into my marriage with Joel knowing he’s Indian and I’m a whitey. We have to respect each other’s cultures, which means a lot of compromise. There are times when we do what Indian culture says to do and there are times when we do what Western culture says to do. We decide what works best for our little family.Give yourself a break. There is no perfect relationship. Try your best to listen to your partner, compromise, lovingly encourage one another when you don’t know what to do, be willing to hear their side, and remember just because you grew up doing it one way doesn’t mean it’s the only way.Love your partner for who they are, be proud of your marriage and all of it’s little imperfections, and know it’s all worth it.