4 Things To Do When You're Overwhelmed

My husband and I have been married for six years. We have packed those years full of beautiful memories, early mornings, teething babies, first homes, ridiculous arguments, big moves, tearful goodbyes, nights on the town, and so much fun. We knew we had a big adventure in store, but there was so much we didn't anticipate. If I could go back in time, there is a lot I would have told my 20 year old self about. 

I would have warned myself...

to never let my children sleep in my bed because it would create a habit that would mean they would climb into my bed every single night at midnight for years to come...about the reactions some people may have when telling them about my intercultural relationship...that my husband will always try to diffuse arguments by trying to make me laugh...about the nights my husband and I would spend in the hospital after our baby had a seizure...to always use a timer when cooking so I wouldn't burn dinner... and to NEVER use American versions of Indian recipes because they will ALWAYS end up horrible. While we were dating, we anticipated all of the beautiful and life changing moments we would have together, but didn't think about the struggles we could face. The reality is that the hard times in our marriage have brought us even closer than the good times. They remind us that we are in this together and that with each other, we can handle anything. What about the hard times that feel overwhelming? It's easier to look back on the situation and see what good came from it, but what about when you're in the middle of it? I received an email from a reader recently and she was in the middle of a really hard season with her spouse. I asked her if I could share a bit about her story because I think so many of us can relate. They have been married for three years and they'e in the midst of figuring out how they can blend cultures in their marriage. They recently moved to India and she's feeling overwhelmed in a new city, surrounded by a new language, homesick, and feeling like her and her spouse can't agree on anything. She's happy with their decision to move, but is overwhelmed trying to make this transition, feel at home in India, and trying to blend their cultures in their new family. While you may not be in a new country like this reader, I'm sure many of you share similar struggles. Maybe you're spouse speaks a different language and you feel left when his family comes to visit because you don't understand what they're saying. Maybe most of the conversations between you and your spouse end in fighting because you can't agree on how to blend cultures. Either way that overwhelming feeling can be suffocating.I get it. It can feel like it will never end.

Here are 4 things you can do when you're overwhelmed in your relationship.  

Take a deep breath. 

Sometimes you just need to take a deep breath. When you're overwhelmed, you tend to focus on it all day. Instead, take a minute and remind yourself it will be ok. It may be really difficult right now, but it won't last forever. [tweetthis twitter_handles="@almstindianwife" display_mode="box"]When life gets overwhelming, take a deep breath and remember it won't last forever.[/tweetthis]

Get away. 

Take a break from the situation. Don't let your struggles take over your life. Take some time to yourself and do something relaxing. This can be getting a coffee and reading a good book, taking a walk, or maybe even going to see a movie by yourself. You won't be able to make any progress on the situation is you're drained and exhausted. It's so important to step outside of the situation so you can regroup and come back to it refreshed.  [tweetthis display_mode="box"]When life gets overwhelming, take a break and can come back refreshed & able to face the challenge[/tweetthis]

Date your spouse. 

Marriage requires a lot of work. Don't lose sight of why you and your spouse were married in the first place. You'll experience struggles through out your marriage and there's nothing you can do to stop it. Often times, couples grow distant from each other in the midst of trouble. Just because you're fighting or going through a hard season doesn't mean you shouldn't love on your spouse. Decide together to put your difficult situation on pause and go out to dinner or a movie. You can deal with the situation when you get back. Just like the step before, it's good to take a break from the situation and regroup. You and your spouse need to remind each other that you're going through these struggles so you can face this struggle together. [tweetthis display_mode="box"]Just because you're having struggles in your marriage doesn't mean you shouldn't date your husband[/tweetthis]

Take it day by day. 

Sadly, your problems usually won't be solved in a day. It takes time to figure out how to blend cultures, to feel at home in a new environment, etc. All you can do is take it day by day. Look at the progress you're making. Even the smallest amount of progress is a HUGE step forward. [tweetthis display_mode="box"]When you're facing a challenge, remember any progress is a HUGE step forward! Celebrate all successes![/tweetthis]