A Reminder To The Momma Who Doesn't Think She Make It Through Today
Last week, I planned out a fun and relaxing evening with my husband. Our lives have been pretty chaotic lately and it was the first evening in a while that we didn't have anything scheduled.It felt like the first breath of fresh air in a while.We had put the kids to be and were about to sit down. Then the baby came out of his room, wild as can be! I instantly knew we were in for an interesting night. When baby Luke gets in these moods it's nearly impossible to keep him in his room. We end up in a back and forth battle of who can keep the baby in bed.Although this time, my husband snuck away. I can't fault him because it was my plan too, he simply beat me to the punch.I was about to wrestle baby Luke back to his room and decided to give him a little tickle fest. Although instead of laughter, he erupted into a hysterical crying fit. I was dumbfounded and assumed he had gotten hurt somehow. Ten minutes of crying later, I realized something else was going on.I kissed his forehead and noticed he had a fever right away. In our family, a fever for baby Luke isn't a small thing. It typically means a febrile seizure and sleepless night.
(Read more about our journey with febrile seizures here...)
I swooped him up and put him in our bed. My husband and I were able to calm him down with a popsicle and cuddles. Then the crying started up again. He was trying to tell me he had an owie and I realized what that meant too late.
Vomit.
Vomit everywhere.
A puddle of vomit in my bed, on my clothes, all over him.
I yelled for my husband and he quickly came in, swooped up the baby in his arms, and put him straight in the bath. He didn't even flinch at the buckets of vomit everywhere.
Needless to say, our quiet evening quickly turned into a night of cleaning bed sheets, sanitizing everything (including myself), and cuddling a sick baby.These are the nights that make parenthood feel like a blur.The moments that make you question whether or not you can get through the next few years while your kids are all little.I'm here to tell you a little secret that can get you through the worst of times.
It's just a season of your life and every season comes to an end.
Motherhood is far from easy. It's not for the faint of heart, but it's all worth it. Your kids are only little once. I know right now, all you can see if the finish line far off, behind the puke stained sheets, pee covered toilets, and sleepless nights, but it's there. One day, you'll be sitting with your friends over brunch, laughing at all of these stories.So, what about today?How do you get through the season you're in?
You take it one day at a time. One moment at a time if that's what you need. Soak up the special moments with your kids and remember the rough times can't last forever.
Sooner than you know it, you'll be in a completely different season of life and you'll be looking back at today as a memory.
What's Expected Of A Foreign Daughter In Law?
Does marrying into a foreign culture mean you are now expected to behave according to your new cultures rules?
This has come up for me in different ways. I’ve mentioned before, I grew up in a family with a single, mom. I was taught to be a strong, independent, and outspoken person. However, the culture I have married into expects humility, submission to leadership, and listening and trusting your elders. There’s not much room for outspoken remarks in there.When I first married my husband, I was very vocal to him. I told him that we are married, starting our own family, but he has to remember, I’m not Indian. He used to laugh.
Yes, hon. I think your white skin was a bit of a give away for me.
I could see some of the cultural differences from the beginning of our relationship. It all started my first Thanksgiving with his family. I was so interested and observed all weekend. I noticed everyone was called by Indian names (Ukka, Mama, Pinni, Ummamma), everyone was extremely close to each other, everyone ate Indian food with their hands, and all of the kids submissively obeyed their elders (even as adults).My husband and I have always wanted to bring Indian culture into our family. So, I tried to find out what was going to be expected of me as a foreign daughter in law. I wanted to be a good daughter in law, but I also didn’t want to be held to every Indian standard there was. In my head, I thought I'd be changing myself if I agreed to be held to all Indian standards.The longer I've been a foreign daughter in law, the more I’m realizing it’s not possible to truly bring Indian culture into our family without being held to some Indian standards.I have responsibilities as the oldest daughter (in law) in the family, as a mother of biracial children, as a wife, as a foreign daughter in law, and as an Akka (big sister).I've learned to love some of these expectations. I love that my husband and I have been able to be there for my brother and sister in law. I love being able to give advice to all of the cousins in the family. I love having family live with us for extended periods of time.Along with so many expectations I love, there are also some that I still struggle with. As an outspoken person, I have the hardest time listening without sharing my opinion. I’ve learned how disrespectful it can be in Indian culture to openly disagree with an elder. In my family, we all share our opinions and often leave it at, let’s agree to disagree. I’ve never seen that as disrespectful. I love that my family shares our opinions with each other. Even if we don’t follow what someone says, I love that we can challenge each other.Submissive obedience in Indian families means an elder tells you to do something and you do it, simple as that. I finally asked someone for advice on this.
Will I lose myself if I agree to submissive obedience?
She asked how I’d lose myself. How could I be myself, without sharing what I thought? What if I disagreed? What if I agreed, but I still want to share what I thought?The more questions I asked myself, the more I realized there's no way to lose myself by listening to someone who loves my family and is trying to help us. I have only been a parent for five years. I have so much to learn. If anything, I’m letting my pride prevent me from accepting help.When elders in our family tell me to do something, I’ve learned to be open. Obviously, I’m so far from perfect in this area. I know my pride will continue to rear it’s ugly head again and again. However, I want to teach my kids to listen to their elders as well. The best way to teach them this is to show them, even adults listen to their elders.This doesn’t mean I don’t have a voice in our family. That is the biggest idea that I struggle with. The western culture in my head says obeying as an adult means I’m being stifled and not respected. In reality it means someone loves us enough, they are trying to help us by giving us advice and trying to make our lives easier.There are the times where I am told to do something with my children and I don’t agree.
What do I do? I thank them for the advice and then my husband and I decide together.
At the end of the day, my husband and I will do what we think is best for our family. However, I am actively trying to quiet my pride so I can be open to what our family members have to offer as advice and wisdom.As a foreign daughter in law, the standards are different. Some may expect me to follow every Indian standard and others won’t hold me to any. My husband and I talk about which standards I feel comfortable holding myself to. The biggest thing I ask myself is what can I teach my child if I follow a certain standard. If I think it holds value to them, I try to follow it. If it’s not something I want to teach them, I don’t.
You won’t ever be able to please everyone. All you can do is what’s best for your family. You and your spouse chose together what you will do as a family.
Surprise We Have A New Addition To The Family
My husband and I have always been big animal lovers. While we were dating we talked about the pets we wanted in the future and we quickly started off our pet adventure a few months after we got married.Three kids and one dog later, something just wasn't right. We wanted a friend for our dog, Bella. We were also talking about buying a house with more space outside that would make having two dogs a little easier.My husband and I started thinking through the kind of dog we wanted, whether we wanted to adopt an older dog or a puppy, and when we would take the plunge.Fast forward a few months and my kids and I were out running errands. We got out a little later than expected and the temperature outside was going up. We had planned on going to the park, but I had no desire to sit there, ending up drenched in sweat so they could play for a few minutes.Instead, I decided to bribe them with a pet shop visit. We love stopping in there periodically because you can see all the cute little pets and we could pick up a few toys for Bella. After a bit of whining, they quickly realized stopping at the pet store meant they could check out the creepy crawly bugs and snakes.They ran inside and B-lined straight to the disgusting bugs I will never, ever buy for them. I have a hard enough time sitting there while they poke the cages!After about thirty minutes of running back and forth from pet to pet, we decided to pick up our Bella treats and pay. While we were waiting in line, we saw the couple in front of us had brought their dogs in with them.A-freaking-dorable!!!
They had a Chihuahua mix and a little Shepherd-Retreiver mix. We instantly fell in love and made baby sounds to them the entire time they were in line. The couple kept looking at us and laughing because the kids were infatuated. Okay, I was too!They finished up their purchase and walked out of the store. I instantly started gushing to the cashier about how cute they were. I let her know the Shepherd mix was the exact kind of dog we want to get next.She stopped what she was doing. She smiled big and said something that would change our lives forever...They're actually trying to get her adopted.Stunned, I asked if she was serious. She laughed and nodded. That was all my boys and I needed. We left all of our stuff at her cash register and ran outside!I asked if they really were trying to find a family for her and how much they were thinking about selling her for. All they had to do was look at all three of my kids who were all kissing her, petting her, and cuddling her as we spoke.Free. All we want is for her to find a good family.
I'll take her! My kids and I started jumping up and down saying we want her and would love to bring her home! We exchanged numbers and scheduled a time to pick her up.She was only 2 pounds and needed to be home a little while longer. Not to mention, she was a rescue and was in bad shape when they found her. They spent a thousand dollars to rescue her and nurse her back to health.After they left we went straight back inside to buy stuff for our new puppy.This was the moment I realized something.I just adopted a dog.I just adopted a dog while my husband was at work.I now have to tell my husband we have a new dog coming home.I sent him a picture and let him in on our family's big news. He thought I was kidding. The moment he realized I wasn't he called me.Are you serious?All I could hear was his coworkers behind him laughing. I thank them for getting him in an agreeable mood! He laughed and asked for pictures asap!He was happy she was the kind we wanted and I heard him shoosh his coworkers saying he would bring her to visit!Then he went back to the meeting he was in before I happily interrupted him. He called me the moment work was done for the day and asked me again if I was serious.He wasn't sure if he should believe me until he got home and saw our kitchen table full of puppy stuff.
About 4 weeks later, we drove to the couple's home and picked up our newest addition. Our whole family is infatuated with her. Even though my husband likes to call her "your dog" I secretly find him cuddling her. He's already a push over with her. All she has to do is whine and he immediately makes us get her and snuggle her!
The moral of the story....It's okay to adopt a puppy while your husband is at work because he will fall head over heals for her!
Avoid The Potty Training Backslide This Summer!
Is The Potty Training Backslide Worth It?
When a parent thinks about potty training their child, they're usually filled with a sense of dread. All they can see is accidents on their couch, pulling over dozens of times during their 20 minute drive, and endless loads of laundry to wash the pee stained big kid underwear.Then if you're "smart" like me, you attempt to potty train them before you go on vacation. You convince yourself, it's going to be fine. They will just keep working on it there.Wrong.Instead of improving on their potty training skills, they end up backsliding. All of your hard work goes down the drain as vacation goes on. It may even feel worth the backsliding while you're out laying in the sun.The problem settles in when you get back home. Instead of an eager child, you end up with a disinterested toddler with no desire to potty train again.It's not worth it!
I have potty trained 2 1/2 children in my nearly six years as a parent.My four year old practically potty trained himself. He wanted to be like his big brother and made it all happen. He motivated himself to get it done!My five year old was a different story. He was my first child and I basically had no idea what I was doing. He was an early talker and I just assumed he was ready to be potty trained. Shortly after we "potty trained" him, we went on vacation to Chicago. He completely gave up on potty training there and I ended up in an 8 month potty training battle with him when I got home.
I definitely learned my lesson with my two oldest boys. Now, I'm using everything we've learned with my toddler this summer.Today, I'm partnering with Huggies to help prevent the potty training backlide this summer.
Ways To Avoid The Summer Backslide
If you haven't started potty training before your vacation, I would suggest you wait. You want to potty train when you know you'll be home for a while. I usually schedule a full week at home and then slowly venture out. Take a look at your schedule and plan to start your potty training adventure after you get home from vacation.If you've already completed potty training your child, summer time doesn't have to be a disaster. You can help your child to stay potty trained with a few simple steps.Make It Fun AgainWhen a toddler is on vacation, everything seems more fun than working hard to pee in the potty. Why do something that takes work when you can just go in your pants and let your parents do all the hard work?If you see your child starting to loose interest with remaining potty trained while on vacation, make it fun again. Take a small step backwards and reinforce them every time they use the potty. You could grab a set of stickers or small candy to give them as a reward.Model By ExampleYou can only tell your kids to use the potty so many times. At a certain point, they start to tune you out. This is when it's important to go back to the age old saying, actions speak louder than words.If your child has siblings, let them see how they use the potty. Kids look up to their siblings and they are a huge source of motivation for them. Make sure to point out how they use the potty like a big kid.
BackstepIf you notice your child beginning to backslide, take a step backwards. Instead of letting them tell you when they need to go potty, you can set a timer. Put in a simple timer to your phone and use that as a reminder to have your child try and go potty.While on vacation, it's easy for your toddler to miss their body's cues telling them to go potty. They end up waiting way too long and have an accident. Step in and stop the chain by reminding them yourself.
Let Huggies Help You This Summer
I've used Huggies diapers and wipes since my kids were little. I love to see their passion for kids and their parents. They don't just sell diapers, they want to help parents hold onto special memories with your little ones. Whether it's your child's first step or the first time they use the potty like a big kid, they are there for you.Are you ready to avoid the potty training backslide?If so, head over to your local Sam's Club and pick up a box of pull ups and wet wipes! With a big family, I'm always looking for a good deal. By shopping at Sam's Club, I know I can stock up on my pull ups and wet wipes without destroying my monthly budget.Head over today and save $10 off any two, or $18 off any three diapers, wipes, and pants today!
People You'll Meet While On Vacation
My family and I just got home from vacation! Our week was full of late nights, early morning, friends, hysterical laughter, games, and new friends.It’s been a while since I’ve gone on vacation with so many people. Originally, I was going to go to Orlando alone attend BlogHer. The more my husband and I talked about it, the more we realized it would be more fun to turn it into our family vacation for the year!Who doesn’t want to take their whole family to Orlando!?We ended up traveling with a total of 5 adults and 5 kids. As you can imagine things got crazy and we made some beautiful memories that I hope my kids have forever.It didn’t take long for us to realize we all like to vacation differently.
People You’ll Meet While On Vacation
The Lazy VacationerThis person likes to relax during vacation. They don’t see the point in filling up their whole trip with dozens of activities. Instead, they sleep in, enjoy a nice cup of coffee on the balcony, and soak it all in.Every day is an opportunity to savor new memories.The Cram It All In VacationerThis person has an idea of their perfect vacation and crams in every activity on that list. Exhaustion is the last thing on their mind. The biggest concern for them is missing something.You won’t miss anything either because they’ll take enough pictures to last a lifetime.The Couch Bound VacationerThis person likes the idea of vacation rather than the vacation itself. All their itinerary includes are the couch, snacks, and binging the latest show on Netflix.Don’t bother trying to get them to do anything on vacation. You’ll hardly see them leave the room, much less get them to check out the tourist spots.
The Dare Devil VacationerThis person likes to chase the thrill during their vacation. As soon as you get to your destination, immediately find the closest hospital. Some of their crazy adventures end in broken limbs. They have no fear because their broken bone is their souvenir from their latest thrill.Your vacation won’t be boring if they come along.The Indecisive TravelerThis person is always up for fun! They just want to be there for the experience of it all. The only problem is getting this person to make any decision is like pulling teeth!You better hope you’re not alone on vacation with one of these vacationers or you’ll end up in your room the whole time trying to figure out where to go.The good thing is they’re up for anything!The Early Bird VacationerThis sums up just about any child you go on vacation with. They don’t care what time everyone goes to sleep the night before, they’re still up at the break of dawn!They’re so excited for the vacation that they wake up before everyone else to make sure they don’t miss anything. If you’re really lucky, they’ll even wake everyone up with a Smurf song like my little boy!While they’re full of energy, no one wants to room with them in fear of losing all sleep while on vacation!
What type of vacationers do you have in your family?
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How To Get My Family More Comfortable With Our Family's Mixed Culture
Sometimes the idea of getting the whole family together can get a little stressful, especially if it means the in laws come along too. It's one thing when you spend time with everyone on their own terms, but it's another thing entirely when they're out of their comfort zones.After my husband and I had our boys, it all seemed easier. Most of our family events were focused on our kids and it helped our families to have something in common. They all loved our boys to pieces and it made them more comfortable in that environment.We did learn a few things through our first few get togethers. Most of what we learned was through trial and error, but at the end of the day these three things helped a lot!Include Your Family's Traditions At Special EventsFind opportunities to include your family in traditions during your parties. Every family has their own traditions for special events and they're the perfect way to include everyone.We found a fun way to include both of our families traditions during our kid's birthday parties.Growing up my family used to do smash cakes. They would make a cake for the guests and then a little cake for the birthday kid. The best part of the smash cake is watching the little ones dig into it! Some of our kids were more aggressive with it than their siblings, but it was always fun.In my husband's family, they hand feed each other during special events. It's a special moment for family members to love on the child.My husband and I decided to combine the two traditions. We made a smash cake for our birthday boy, but had our family members feed him a bit of the cake before they could dig in.
Let Your Family Know What To ExpectOne of the biggest things that leads to fear is the unknown. We fear things because we don't understand them. This is why it's so important for us to talk to our families about what they can expect as we blend cultures.During the week of my wedding mine and my husband's family got together. I don't know who was more nervous... me or them.My family had so many things to learn that week. Their were new traditions, new customs, new languages, and new people.At the end of the day, the thing that helped the most was talking. They needed a safe place to ask questions. The more we all talked, the more comfortable they all became.
Encourage Your Kids To Teach Them About Their CultureMy kids love teaching people about their traditions and what better way to learn about something new than from a bunch of cute kids.When we eat Indian food in front of my family, my kids teach my family how to use their hands. They show them the correct technique and how they like to do it. They've even started to teach my family little Telugu words they know! It gives them a sense of pride to be able to share something that means so much to them.How have you helped your family to be comfortable with a new culture?
A Year Of Tiny Living
Hi! My name is Sara Miedema and I blog over at Tiny Home Dream. A little over a year ago, my husband decided to return to school after over a year of unemployment. In an effort to save money and stretch our resources, my husband, 2 children (ages 2 and 4) and I moved into a 300 sq foot RV.
We spent a month ripping it apart and renovating it before our big move and it’s been such a great home for us! I thought I’d share a little bit about what tiny living with a family is like by reviewing our first year.
Summer
We moved in right at the beginning of summer and it was SO lovely! The space that our RV is parked on is totally fenced in, so our kids were able to enjoy lots of freedom in our backyard, something we missed in our old house! The first summer felt a lot like camping, in the best way possible. We spent most of our time outdoors. Lots of campfires and hot dog roasts!
Our tiny home was easy to keep clean and tidy and since we were hardly ever inside, it was hardly a chore to clean it. Our kids learned so much about playing together, pretend and outdoor play. My husband and I enjoyed the relief from financial stress and the time we were able to spend together.
Adjusting to our tiny space was surprisingly easy, we transitioned our kids to sharing the same room and once they were used to the idea, the rest of it was easy. We got used to cooking and baking in a small kitchen and got comfortable using a compost toilet. We spent more time at home than at parks and beaches, because we love our outdoor space so much!
Fall
Thankfully, we enjoyed a mild fall and it gave us time to get used to the idea of spending more time indoors. We invested in good rain gear for the kids and pulled out some hidden boxes of toys as we moved indoors more and more. Unless it was absolutely pouring, the kids continued to play outside for several hours a day. We also began to attend programs in our county to help us get out of the house more often. Storytime, drop-in preschool, dance class, Bible study and toddler time kept us busy almost every day.
We rarely felt cooped up, and relished a quiet day at home! As the days grew colder and it rained more and more (PNW, don’t forget!) I started implementing daily quiet time with our kids. Our 2 year old gave up naps right around this time and I needed a few quiet moments to myself every day! The kids spent a lot of time listening to audiobooks and playing quietly with their toys. As the rain poured, we found several leaks in the roof and did our best to repair them. It was discouraging and frustrating, one of the downfalls of living in a 25 year old rig….
Winter
Our biggest challenge was definitely surviving the winter! The previous winter was mild and we only have a tiny dusting of snow and very few days below freezing. Of course, this winter was brutal! I’ve heard it was the coldest one we’ve had in 30 years! On one of our first cold days, our pipes froze and we were not only without water, but facing the reality that we had a whole season of freezing weather ahead of us!
We brainstormed and budgeted and researched and in the end, came to the conclusion that there wasn’t much we could do without spending a fortune. Instead, we turned off the water and drained our pipes each time the weather dipped. This meant many days, and weeks, of no running water. We lugged water in in 5 gallon jugs, did laundry elsewhere and showered anytime we were visiting friends or family. Our friends got used to us tossing in a load of laundry and bathing our kids each week at Bible study and our neighbors graciously helped us out when they could!
It’s also worth mentioning that we found out we were pregnant at the beginning of the winter. So along with these challenges, I also struggled with nausea and exhaustion. We celebrated a simple, cozy Christmas in our tiny home and loved it!
In January, an ice storm presented us with another challenge when our power was knocked out. Several large branches broke and landed on our roof and the strong wind rocked us back and forth so it felt like we were on a boat. We ended up making the trek to my parents’ house to wait out the storm.
Surprisingly, staying warm was never an issue. 4 bodies and a couple space heaters in our tiny space kept us nice and toasty all winter! I found myself growing discouraged and burnt out on tiny living, especially when the weather forced us to stay home for days on end. The first stretch of days above freezing were such a relief!
Spring
I can’t describe the joy we felt when the weather began to get warmer! Running water felt like such a luxury and doing laundry in our own space was a treat! The kids began spending more and more time outdoors again, usually ending up filthy and muddy, but I didn’t mind!
We were able to pack up our space heaters and dehumidifier, which made our small space feel larger. The kids and I were able to go for walks and play outside and visit parks and beaches again. At this time, we were also able to make the last payment on our student loans and that gave us another big reminder as to why we made the choice to live tiny! We realized that we had been able to save almost a thousand dollars a month in living expenses and that gave us renewed motivation and determination!
As we approach summer again, we’re loving our home and space! We just passed the one year mark and we wouldn’t change a thing. Our next big challenge is coming this month, as we’ll be adding a newborn to the mix! We’re preparing our home for a new baby and trying to envision what the next year of tiny living will be like!
Follow Sara Along On Her Journey!
I Refuse To Lose Myself To My Kids
I Refuse To Lose Myself To My Kids
As a mother, my time is balanced between making dinner, wiping little kid's tushies, and doing the never ending dishes. I could sit here and complain about the list of things I do every day, but I love my job.I've dreamed about being a mom since I was a little girl. I love tucking my little boys in after an adventurous day. I love that they love me so much, they can't imagine a moment without me.I often choose a night at home with my kids rather than a girl's night. As exhausting as it is, I wouldn't want it any other way.I didn't realize it would be possible to love these three little boys as much as I do. It's a consuming love. It consumes my time, energy, my love, and if I'm not careful my identity.As moms, we're willing to sacrifice everything for our kids. We think we're doing it for them, but sometimes we give too much. We stop keeping anything for ourselves and we start to lose who we are.If moms give absolutely everything to their kids and family, what do they have left? We need to take care of ourselves so we can be the moms we want to be for our children.
4 Ways Mothers Can Take Care Of Themselves
Pamper Ourselves: Make the time to go out and have some time to pamper yourself. Whether it's getting your hair done, getting a pedicure, or a massage.Sometimes we feel guilty to go out and do things for ourselves because it means taking time away from our kids. We have to find a way to break that mindset. Taking time for yourself doesn't make you a bad mom, it actually shows your kids how important it is to take care of yourself. It gives you the energy you need to pour into your kids each day.Go Out Alone: Get a babysitter or make the hubby stay home with the kids. Take Schedule time for yourself each week. You can go out for a night with the girls or even head to Starbucks and read for a few hours.It's hard to find time for ourselves. Do whatever you can to make it happen each week.Find A Hobby: Find something that's just for you. This is how I discovered blogging. I was looking for something that could be mine, something I could do that made me happy.If mothers only do things for other people, they start to lose themselves. Is there something you enjoy doing? Something you've always wanted to try? Do it! Go and take a class or take time throughout the week to spend time doing something you love.Learn To Love Yourselves: One of the most important things we can do as mothers is to teach our kids to love themselves. We do that by loving ourselves. When we love ourselves, we start to understand how important it is to take care of ourselves, put ourselves first sometimes, and to know our own limits.You can love your kids with all of our heart and still love yourselves. How do you take care of yourself throughout the week.
The Realities of Being A Boy Mom
There's something special about being a mom to little boys. You're not just their parent, you're everything to them. They look to you for it all and you know just how much they need you. While some people may think they're rough and tumble, you know just how sensitive they are.
10 Things Boy Moms Understand
1. You Get Used To The Boy Smell. There is a distinct smell that follows your boys everywhere they go. It starts much sooner than you thought possible, but it's there. Boys are just stinky and it only gets worse. This is why daily baths are a must. 2. You're The Most Important Person In Their Life. There is a special love between a little boy and their momma. It's something that would take the jaws of life to get in-between. You're the first woman they've ever loved and they look to you for everything.3. You're Constantly Flushing Toilets. Little boys are notorious for forgetting to flush the toilet. You even find yourself apologizing for what guests could find in the bathroom just in case...4. Early Park Days Are Necessary. Boys are non-stop energy. The only way to get them to stop jumping off of the furniture is to let them jump and climb their little hearts out. This is why parks were invented.5. You Find Yourself Saying Things You Never Imagined. You'll surprise yourself daily on the things you end up saying to your little boys. Don't pee on your brother. Don't lick the garbage!6. We're Used To Things Being Broken. The days of owning nice, pretty things are long gone. Now is the time of broken lamps, cracked tv's (after playing fetch with the dog), and stained clothes. Boys like to play.7. Bodily Functions Are Hilarious. It doesn't matter how many times you tell your boys not to, they're going to talk about poop, farts, and butts all the time. The funny part is you'll end up laughing too. How can you not when you see your kids rolling on the floor, laughing!?8. Everything Turns Into A Wrestling Match. It doesn't matter how it starts, it's always going to end in wrestling. Your kids will spend most of their days wrestling on the furniture, trampoline, and ground. The only thing to figure out is whether they're laughing or mad.9. Your Grocery Bill Is Insane. Boys can eat. Add a few of them together and your grocery bill is going to get crazy. Just imagine how it's going to be when they get into high school!10. You Befriend Other Boy Moms. You'll find yourself drifting to other boy moms because they understand exactly what your day looks like.
Multiracial Motherhood: Embracing Who You Are
Today, a very special momma is joining us to share about her multiracial motherhood journey. Meghan is the voice behind www.meghanjoyyancy.com where she shares about her multiracial family and talks about how you can find joy in living for today!
Photo Credit: Melissa LeeAnn
Meet Momma Meghan
Welcome to the life of our family of 7! My husband and I met years ago as he played college basketball with my big brother. So, he was the one dating his teammates sister. We dated for 4 short months before getting engaged and we had an 8 month engagement. Our wedding day was almost exactly 1 year from the day we started dating. We got pregnant with our honeymoon baby and about 10 months later, our first daughter was born. This summer we will be celebrating 9 years of marriage and we managed to pop out 5 kids under that age of 8 in those years. It’s been a whirlwind of a glorious adventure!My husbands’ entire family is from Liberia and although he was born in New York, his family is very traditional with their culture and lifestyle. My families heritage comes from Germany and Sweden so my kids love learning about all their of their lineage traditions. Being enriched in the culture of their own blood.
What is something you’ve learned through blending cultures in your family?
To grasp and experience everything we can with respect and gratitude. Beyond what countries our families hail from, but even in the way we operate, communicate and just do life. To be able to have understanding and grace in all aspects of blending family life is so important to healthy relationships. It’s not always easy to do, but it is something to strive for.I tend to be a VERY picky eater. I sometimes even have trouble eating some of the meat I cook myself. And because of this, I believe I have actually hurt my mother-in-loves feelings when she has cooked traditional Liberian meals. It’s not because of her food, but my own ridiculous eating habits that make for some fairly high-maintenance eating habits. At least I can admit that.But I have tried to make an effort over the years to at least TRY the traditional Liberian food. And if anything, I welcome with open arms her wonderful cooking for my husband to enjoy because it is comfort food for him. He grew up with it and so it feels like home for him. And I’m not intimidated or resentful of that. And I also want my kids to be mindful of the different foods and always be willing to try new things.
What is one struggle you’ve encountered?
The stereotypes.The stigma of a black man with a white woman.I will let you mind go where it goes in this. There are so many assumptions.Half-siblings.Gold-digging.Welfare.Foster Care.Control issues.Abusive.“He only likes white women”“She only likes black guys.”Whatever sterotypes you have heard or maybe even witnessed yourself, believe me, we have felt the affects of them. And not like we had anything to prove, but we definitely strive for greatness in all we do, despite the thoughts/words/actions that naturally come our way.
What advice would you share with other multicultural families?
Embrace exactly who you are. Every beautiful woven piece of unity you bring to the table, relish it. LOVE is born in exactly what you have and don’t let the world dull your shine.
Follow Meghan Along On Her Journey
Why You Should Give Your Mother In Law Some Slack
I'll never forget the moment I waited in Uthama's (My husband's aunt) living room to meet my future mother in law. I was absolutely terrified. Joel was the first serious relationship I had ever had so meeting the parents was a whole new experience for me.I didn't know what to say or how to act. All I could think of was the fact that I was about to make the world's most awkward first impressions ever.What if she hated me?What if I didn't live up to her expectations?I paced back and forth until the moment I heard the garage door open. Then my heart completely stopped. This was it. This was the moment I would remember forever.Joel's family all walked in, one by one. I met his brother and sister first and it went well. They seemed really nice and I could tell it would be natural with them.Then in walked his mom... I practically froze. I started questioning everything I was about to do.Should I hug her? Shake her hand?Then she walked over to me and gave me a hug. I wish I could say all my fears disappeared in that moment, but they didn't. I was nervous all weekend because I wanted her to like me. I was already madly in love with her son and I knew we'd be together forever.It's funny looking back on how our relationship began because now she's the one I call when I need advice. It may be for a recipe, advice with the kids, or just to talk. We've both put in a lot of hard work for our relationship and it's completely paid off.
I'll admit, I didn't realize how important our relationship was until I had boys of my own. Then I pictured what it would look like when they grew up and got married.Would I be close to their wives? Would we be friends? Would I become the crazy mother in law in all of their stories?Having kids has taught more than I ever could have imagined about life, but having boys has taught me something special about my mother in law.
The Most Important Women In Your Husband's Life
When your husband got married, you became the most important women in his life. You became the one he would depend on, trust in, and go to for everything. While it's very special for you and your husband, it's extremely difficult for your mother in law. She not only has to figure out her relationship with you, but she has to figure out her new relationship with her son.She will always hold a special place in your husband's life, but it changes after he gets married. She has to step back and let you come in. It's easy to get frustrated with your mother in law when you feel certain pressures, see how involved she is, etc. Instead you have to look at how much her life has changed and the fact that she's trying to figure it out just like you.
Where Does Your Mother In Law Fit In
She wants to know where she fits in to her sons life now. I don't know about you, but I dread this moment with my sons. I am excited for them to get married, but I don't even like to think about the moment my relationship with them will change. It will always be beautiful and special, but it will change.In addition to the typical changes your mother in law will face, think about how much more complicated it becomes when her daughter in law was raised in a different cultures....I love looking to see what people search to find my blog. One of the new popular searches is How Do I Handle A Daughter In Law From A Different Culture...You all have expectations of what your relationship will look like with your mother or daughter in law. You come up those expectations based on how you've seen them happen in the past. Often times, you will look to your own life and see how it's happened with your sister in law, a cousin's wife, etc.Then you get married and realized it's all different. Everything you thought would happen doesn't and instead your faced with a new set of challenges.This is how it is for a mother who welcomes in a daughter raised in a different culture. She had all of these expectations on how she would talk to you, how she would interact with you, and how she would fit into your life. You had expectations as well, but they all looked differently.Letting go of expectations is difficult because they are deeply rooted in us. You may not even realize all of the expectations you had until they start to play out differently. As they start to happen differently than you anticipated you will typically respond by getting angry or distancing yourself. Your mother in law will do the same thing.It's hard. It's hard to let go of your expectations.So what do you do? What should your mother in law do? There is one thing that will truly help you figure out your relationship with each other. Communicate. Communication is the most important thing in any relationship. You and your mother in law have to talk to each other before, during, and after situations come up.It will help you to understand each other and talk about expectations you may not have known about. Be careful not to shut each other down if you don't agree. You need to be open to the reality that your relationship will look different than you thought and that's not a bad thing. The more you work on it and the more you communicate, the closer you will be.You're both just trying to figure out your roles and see where you fit into each other's lives. Give each other grace and a little slack as you figure it out.
What would you say to someone struggling in their relationship with a mother or daughter in law?
15 Things I Discovered After Becoming A Mom
15 Things I Discovered After Becoming A Mom
I've wanted to be a mom since I was a little girl. I would sit next to my mom while she rocked my baby brother and mimic her every move. Now, I'm a mother to three beautiful little boys and I never could have imagined just how much my life would change.
Sleep Becomes The Most Important Thing
The exhaustion starts when they're first born and it just never goes away. The books promise you'll get more sleep as they get older, but it's all a lie.
Time Truly Does Fly
Parents warn you how quickly it goes, but you never know until it you see it first hand. I still remember holding my moments old babies. Now, I look at them and my oldest is about to go into first grade. They get big so quickly.
You Get To Be A Kid Again
One of the best parts of being a parent is that you get to be a kid all over again. You get to dress up and play pirates, you get to watch every kid movie you could think of, and you love every minute of it.
Privacy Is A Thing Of The Past
The days of using the bathroom alone are far behind you. After kids, you can expect kids watching you pee, trying to hop in the shower with you, and knocking during the worst possible times.
At Some Point You'll End Up Hurting Your Kid And You'll Feel Terrible
At some point, you'll be wrestling with your kids and you will accidentally hurt one of them. You'll feel like the worst human alive, but it's ok. We've all been there.
A Crazy Night On The Town Looks Much Different
Before kids, a night out may last the entire night. Now, a night out ends just in time for the babysitter to drive home.
Sick Days Don't Exist
As a mom, sick days just don't happen. You'll try to let the kids watch movies all day, but they act like it's torture. Then they make the biggest messes possible.
Kisses Heal Every Boo Boo
You'll discover the magic behind a kiss from mommy. There is no boo boo big for mom.
Your Purse Becomes A Portable Trash For Your Kids
It doesn't matter how many garbages are around, your purse becomes the catch all for all your kids trash.
Bedtime Becomes The Prime Time To Ask Life's Deepest Questions
You could spend your entire day with your kids, but they will hold onto every big, life question until you're tucking them into bed.
Your Kids Will Embarrass You In Public Many, Many Times
Your kids are going to find the "best" possible moment to talk about your fat tummy, the guy with no hair standing in front of you, or the smelly person at the grocery store.
Your Kid's Selective Hearing Wears Off The Second You Say A Bad Word
You're kids won't hear you when you tell them to clean their room, but they will when you stub your toe and a cuss word comes. out.
You Won't Ever Be Able To Hide Goodies From Your Kids
You'll wait for your kids to go to bed before you bring out your stash of goodies. Then they will run into your room the moment they hear you open the bag.
A Trip To Target Alone Feels Like A Vacation
Getting out of the house alone, even if it's just to Target, will feel like a luxurious vacation. You'll even wander up and down the aisles for one little item.
Just How Much You Can Love Someone
You'll dream about becoming a mom, but you'll never be able to truly imagine the way you'll feel about them. The way your heart will instantly melt the moment you hold them for the first time. Nothing can compare to the love a mom has for her child.
Letting Go Of Who Culture Says You Should Be
Letting Go Oh Who Culture Says You Should Be
About 4 years ago, I was sitting in my kitchen. I was feeling overwhelmed with all the pressure I had on my shoulders to be the perfect Indian wife.In all honesty, I was beating myself up. I was feeling crushed under the pressure to be the perfect Indian wife. It didn't matter what I did, I couldn't do anything Indian enough. I had been married for a few years at that point and I thought I'd have it figured out by then. Instead, I was just disappointed in myself. I was questioning if I'd ever be able to get there.
Would I ever be the perfect Indian wife?
Then it hit me.No.The answer was so simple, but the freedom I felt from saying it felt incredible.I would never be the perfect Indian wife because I'm not Indian. I may have teased that my tan skin during my wedding did, in fact, mean I was East Indian, but I wasn't.I married my husband, knowing he was East Indian and he married me knowing I wasn't. I was enough for him, so why was I pressuring myself to change?There are so many interracial couples out there doing exactly what I did. They're pressuring themselves to fit an image culture has created for someone else.Multiracial families break the mold when it comes to what it looks like to be a wife, girlfriend, husband, or boyfriend. There isn't one image that works for everyone because we're all blending cultures in our families differently.This is how The Almost Indian Wife was born. I knew I wouldn't ever be able to become the perfect Indian wife, so I asked myself who I was. This is a huge question for anyone.
Who am I?
Then it came to me. I was The Almost Indian Wife. Every time I say it, I smile. The Almost... It's a reminder to me that I'm my own person. While I love Indian culture and I'm always looking for ways to bring it into our family, I'm not Indian. I even tease my husband that we're the Almost Indian Family!The Almost Indian Wife isn't expected to do everything the Indian way. She isn't expected to be the perfect Indian parent. She's navigating between two beautiful cultures and making the rules for herself.Today, I want to take a moment to remind you that you're enough. You don't have to change yourself for your relationship. You don't have to be the perfect partner based on your partner's culture.
Your partner fell in love with you and not for an idea of what you would become.
Today, I welcome you to the Almost club. This club is full of people who pride themselves on being who they are. Don't worry we don't have any cheesy chants or songs (until I can think of one!). By joining, all you have to do tell yourself, I am enough.Your confidence will help you get through anything that comes your way. It took me a long time to be confident in being The Almost Indian Wife.In all honesty, I had to start walking it out before I felt it. Sometimes your feet need to tell the rest of the body what's going on. By walking out your confidence, even if it's not quite there, you're still making a commitment to yourself.You're committing to loving yourself whether you feel it or not.You're committing to being proud of who you are. Take a moment today and really think about the pressure you're putting on yourself, like I did. Then ask yourself that question. Who am I?
In the comments, tell me who you are. What defines YOU? Let all the pressure and expectation go. Who are you?
12 Things Interracial Couples Are Tired Of Hearing
12 Things Interracial Couples Hear All The Time
As an interracial couple, you're used to people asking you questions and maybe staring a bit. Sometimes people are curious and other times they're just enamored but what an adorable couple you are.The questions though.. They get a little crazy. They start off innocent and then just get... Well, you'll see.
1. You met online...?
2. Did your family approve?
3. Getting quizzed to see if the stereotypes are true
4. Racial jokes
5. Have you ever been attracted to your own race?
6. I would love having mixed kids! Can you help me find a (____)
7. Won't your kids be confused
8. I've dated someone who's ____ before
9. Is it uncomfortable getting both of your families together
10. Doesn't it feel weird being the only (___) at their family events
11. You're really progressive.
12. I love Kim Kardashian and Kanye!
What are you tired of hearing about your interracial relationship?
7 Multiracial Families You Should Follow!
The Almost Indian Wife
I love sharing my story with all of you on here. If you really want to see the nitty gritty of our multiracial family's day to day, be sure to follow us on Instagram. You'll see my boys mischievous little plans, what we're whipping up for dinner, hear fun stories, and get to know the family behind the blog.
Are Those Your Kids
Diedre is the glamorous girl behind Are Those Your Kids blog. She is a momma who seriously does it all! She helps her hubby on the farm, works as an educator, all while being the momma of two gorgeous little girls! Her Instagram is full of tips for curly hair, a glance at farm life, and all the fun in-between.
We're Parents
Larisha is the semi-crunchy mom behind We're Parents blog. Together with her fiancé, she is raising two beautiful little girls! Her Instagram is full of mouthwatering food, family adventures, baby wearing, breastfeeding, and authentic life moments. Her family is adorable and I love following their adventures!
De Su Mama
Vanessa is the beautiful momma behind De Su Mama blog. Her whole blog is about your multiracial motherhood legacy and what it looks like to be a multiracial family. Her family is always visiting fun places and I love seeing how they blend cultures and what it looks like to have a family legacy.
Cherish 365
Jennifer is the voice behind Cherish 365 blog formerly known as Baby Making Machine. She is truly a rockstar in her family. She has a little boy and a girl and her whole mission with her blog and Instagram is to cherish every day. She finds the beauty in every moment and it's truly inspiring.
Madh Mama
Alexandra is the voice behind Madh Mama blog. Her story is beautiful and I love following her along on her journey. She is raising two beyond gorgeous little girls while living in a joint family. I love seeing how her family embraces Indian culture together and what it looks like for them to be a multiracial family.
English Wife Indian Life
Lauren is the jet setting momma behind English Wife Indian Life blog. She fell in love with her husband and moved her entire life to India. Now they are raising a beautiful little boy together while she lives abroad. I love seeing her family on Instagram because she's showing how she keeps her culture alive while living so far from home. The beautiful thing is now India is her home!
20+ Things You Can Do For Mom This Mother's Day
20+ Things To Do With Mom On Mother's Day
Mother's Day is the day momma long for every year. It's the day we can get away with as many hugs and kisses from our kids as we want, we get spoiled, and we get a break.I'm going to tell you a little secret today. You may go out of your way to find the most elaborate and special gift you can find, but it doesn't have to be hard. All we want is to put our feet up for a bit and have some fun!Here are a few ways you can spoil your mom this Mother's Day!
Write her a letter
Write her a letter telling her how much you love her. You will always be her little baby and those little letters will mean the world to her.
Draw her a picture
Maybe you're a little too young to write a letter. No worries, you can draw momma a picture!
Make her breakfast
You may think a big and elaborate breakfast is what she wants, but breakfast in bed is the answer. She doesn't even have to put her make up on! She simply has to roll over and enjoy a delicious breakfast in bed.
Record a video
Take some time to record a video and let her know how much you love her. You can even throw in a few of your favorite memories.
Rub her feet
Pamper you momma. She spend her whole day taking care of everyone and today is her day. Have her sit down, relax, and rub her feet.
Clean the house
Cleaning is the absolute LAST thing your mom wants to do today. While she sits down, clean up the house.
Take her out on a family adventure
Take her out for a fun adventure. It could be a hike or even a movie she's been dying to see.
Do a game night
Turn off the TV and bring out the board games. Sometimes mom just wants to spend some good quality time with her family and game night is just the way for it to happen.
Send momma away for the weekend
Be an over achiever and schedule a weekend getaway for momma. You can work it out with one of her friends and send her away for a spa getaway.
Pamper momma
Don't stop at rubbing her feet, pamper her all day. You can play with her hair, scratch her back, and even bring her snacks when ever she wants!
Surprise her with a fun day out
Surprise her with a fun day out and about. Momma spends so much of her time in the house or doing things for the family. Take her out for an entire day and let her choose everything!
Look at old pictures with momma
Take out the photo albums and go down memory lane.
Put on a skit
Spend some time practicing to put on a funny skit for mom.
Let her use the bathroom alone
Trust me. If she has little kids, SHE NEEDS THIS.
Go grocery shopping
Find her grocery list and go grocery shopping for her. Get the brands she normally gets, if you remember. This is the gift that will keep giving back all week!
Put all the electronics away
Put all of the electronics away on her day. She just wants to spend time with you and talking to you while you're on your phone isn't the same thing. I'm talking to you dads!
Let her hug and kiss you as much as she wants to
As kids get older, you may not want as many hugs and kisses all day. Let her indulge today. Come on, she's your mom!
Buy her a fun class
Does she have a hobby she enjoys? Buy her a class to have more fun with it!
Book her a mani/pedi
Send her out to get a mani/pedi. They're so relaxing and will make her feel great.
LET HER SLEEP
This is the absolute best gift you can get mom. Let the woman sleep! She's been deprived ever since she started her motherhood journey and today is the day to let her sleep as long as she wants!
How will you spoil your mom this Mother's Day?
I Can Finally Breathe Again
Have you ever had a moment where you realize you've been holding your breath for a long time?
A moment where you finally take a deep breath and realize things are ok? This is exactly how I felt this month, let me tell you why.My family and I are coming out of a rough season. Our youngest has been dealing with febrile seizures and it's caused us to put a lot of things on hold. It was something we needed to do.If he got sick, we would cancel all of our plans and simply stay home.If he got sick, my husband and I knew we were in for a long night of waking up every 3 hours to give him Motrin.If he got sick, we had to check his temperature every 30 minutes to make sure he wasn't spiking a fever.It became our routine. We knew what we needed to do and the moment he got sick, we'd go on autopilot. It went on like this for the last year. I didn't even realize how exhausted I was until earlier this month.We went into my son's neurologist and she said she wanted to get more tests done. She wanted to see if he was indeed dealing with febrile seizures or if it was something more. Waiting for those results were the longest few days in my life. The morning finally came and we went in to hear the results.She walked into the room and told us everything came back normal and it was indeed febrile seizures. This was the answer we were hoping and praying for because it means he'll grow out of them!
In that moment, I let out a deep breath.
What I didn't realize was that I'd been holding my breath for months. I was so scared to actually let myself breath. I didn't know when the next seizure would come... I didn't know when I would finally hit my breaking point...This year has been hard on our family, but we didn't let it ruin our year. When Luke was sick, we'd stay have to stay home all day, and we'd turn it into an adventure. We'd turn our living room upside down and we'd build the biggest fort we could.When Luke would have to stay at the hospital, family and friends would come and make sure the other kids had a little mini vacation.
Life happens.
Things don't always go as planned and that's ok. This year was incredibly stressful. No one wants to see their baby go through something they can't stop. No one wants to see that look on their baby's face post-seizure and know how scared they are.The reality is we could have taken everything that we experienced this year and let it ruin us or we could take it and grow as a family. We chose to grow. We chose to teach our kids how to respond to life when it gets hard.We learned how to depend on each other as a family. We learned how to make the best of an awful situation. We learned how to laugh even when all you want to do is cry.Now, we've learned to celebrate as a family.
7 Things Kids Shouldn't Expect On Mother's Day
Mother's Day is a treasured day for moms. It's not just special because of the adorable handmade gifts and flowers they get... No, it's much more that that. It's special because it means...The. Whole. Day. Is.About.Them. As a mother, every day is spent taking care of other people. From morning until night they're taking care of little and big people. While mother's love taking care of their brood, they save up all of our selfishness for one day. Mother's Day
Here are 7 things children should not expect to happen on Mother's day...
A home cooked dinner.
Any type of emotional support all day.
Don't expect mom to give you emotional support all day. You will need to find support in your siblings, other family member, or dad. Mom's off. She will not care about your boo boos, your argument over who had the lego first, or the fact that she won't make you food. None of it. Don't waste time.
To see mom in the morning.
Moms work all day, every day, 24 hours a day. Sleeping in is the biggest rarity in her life. Do not expect to see her on Mother's day morning. She will be sleeping. As long as she possibly can. If she has little kids her body might rebel against her, telling her she has to wake up. Then you, as the child, shouldn't expect anything other than the blame. Because it really is your fault.
Diapers to be changed
You can't be too shocked that mom has no desire to change dirty diapers... At all. Don't expect any diapers to be changed on this glorious day. Not a grand babies... Not a child's... You should help a little sibling out or teach them to do it. Mom is off the hook!
The house to be cleaned
Unless she wants to dance! The house could combust on mother's day and she wouldn't care. It's her day!
Fake laughter at your not funny jokes
I hate to break it to you, but not even mom will give you a pitty laugh today. You'll either have to actually be funny or try the day after Mother's day.
Mediation
This is the day all kids will have to duke it out. Instead of helping you deal with your problems rationally, she will give you boxing gloves and tell you to enjoy.
The one thing you should expect is to do absolutely everything for your mom and wait on her hand and foot.All.Day.Long.
Multiracial Motherhood: How We Celebrate Multiple Cultures In Our Family
I'm very excited to be continuing our Multiracial Motherhood series this morning. So far we've walked along the journey with Sara and Larisha. They've shared a bit about their family with us and what they've learned in raising a multiracial family. Today, Becky from Kid World Citizen is joining us! There family has traveled the world to make sure their kids are raised with a global mindset and today she is teaching us a few of her secrets. 
Meet Momma Becky!
My husband and I met when he was an exchange student from Mexico spending a year at University of Illinois, while I was a student there. I had just returned from a semester in Spain and was matched up with a "buddy" exchange student who I was supposed to show around.From the moment I met Toño at our welcome picnic, we were instantly drawn to each other. Despite huge language barriers, we managed to talk for hours about everything under the sun. It was such a fun semester of studying, dancing, and running together.Thanks to long-distance phone calls, trips between the US and Mexico, and a lot of patience and love, we got married in the year 2000. Our 5 kids have joined out family in different ways. First, we had our 2 sweet biological daughters: the loves of our lives, who make us smile every day... but we knew our family was't complete.
We adopted our oldest sun when he was almost 4, and his contagious, playful smiles instantly endeared us to our playful son. We decided to expand our family again when we adopted Ricky from Ethiopia. An inquisitive ball of energy, Ricky injected our family with a spirit of curiosity. Two girls, two boys, and we were a balanced, happy family--- but we still had this little voice telling us that we weren't complete.As we rode the roller coaster of becoming foster parents, we met our bundle of exuberant, intense joy: Mario. There is not a person who meets him who doesn't fall in love with this little ham.Having so many diverse cultures forming the foundation of our family has been incredibly enriching. We try to celebrate and honor our heritage cultures both in big ways (such as important holidays) and also little ways (through cuisine, home decor, books, etc).
We've learned that in the hustle and bustle of carpooling and swim team, homework and housework- sometimes the easier route would be to let time pass by without a mention of our backgrounds. But- and we are not perfect- we have to consciously try to always make our cultures an integral part of our daily lives by having friends from diverse backgrounds, choosing a neighborhood that reflects our family's cultures, and having open communication with our kids about race, ethnicity, and what it means to be growing up as "x" in the US.My advice to other multiracial families would be to embrace and learn about your loved ones' cultures as much as you can, so that you end up creating your own family culture that is a blend of customs and traditions from both sides.
Finally, if at all possible, travel and immerse yourself to truly learn about your partner's background, language, and really the heart and soul of what makes them who they are. Our family has bonded so much by traveling together, while developing a pride in and love for each others' countries.It's this love and respect that builds us up and helps us support each other.
Follow Becky along on her journey here!
Introducing A Babysitter To My Multiracial Family
Introducing A Babysitter To My Multiracial Family
Part of the reason our family clicked with her immediately was that we made sure she was comfortable with some of the unique qualities of our multiracial family. For the most part, our family is just like any other. However, there are a few customs and traditions that make us stand out.I wanted to make sure she was aware of them and also felt comfortable in our home. Here are a few things we did that you should too!
Make Sure Your Babysitter Is Aware Of Some Of The Language
While my children aren't fluent in Telugu, they do use many words throughout their conversations. It's important to let your new babysitter know a few words they're going to hear your kids say.This situation came up for us after our first experience with a babysitter. We left for the evening and found out afterward our four years old was frustrated. He had been trying to ask for milk all evening, but the babysitter couldn't understand what he was asking for. She would go to the fridge, Levi would ask for palu, and she would bring back juice.I didn't think about the fact that my kids used Telugu words throughout their conversations. Most of the things they say are milk, water, talking about a runny nose, and family member's names.From then on, we made sure to explain different words our kids use frequently. We also explain that family names sound different in Indian culture.This helps to prepare your babysitter as well as making sure there aren't going to be any language barriers while you're away.
Teach Your Babysitter About Your Family's Customs
If your babysitter doesn't know your family well, they aren't going to be aware of some of your family's customs. It's important to teach them about daily customs your family has. Most parents walk their new babysitters through their daily routine and as a multiracial family, you have to walk them through your customs as well.In our family, some of our customs are eating Indian food with our hands, referring to elders with their title (Mrs., Miss, Mr., etc), and our oldest child gets to correct our kids because he's their unna.Prepare your babysitter for the customs they're going to see and encourage them to try out a few if they're comfortable. My kids love teaching their babysitters how to eat Indian food with their hands and it becomes the sweetest bonding moment between them.
Invite Your Babysitter To Spend An Afternoon With Your Family
The best way for your babysitter to get to know your family is to invite them over for an afternoon. Go to the park together or even play in the backyard.This allows your babysitter to see your family in action and to make sure they get time to play with your kids while you're home. It makes it more comfortable for everyone all around.
Answer Any Questions They May Have
After an afternoon together, sit down with your new babysitter and ask them if they have any questions. Being introduced to a new culture can feel uncomfortable to some people. Most of that feeling is fueled by ignorance. They don't know enough about your culture to feel at ease.Make sure they know they can ask you anything. This breaks down any cultural barriers that may be there as well as making sure you're they are comfortable with your kids.