What Loving Day Means To My Multiracial Family
What Is Loving Day?
In 1967, the Supreme Court decided they would no longer prevent couples from marrying based on the color of their skin. This wasn't an easy decision in the 60's. Mildred and Richard Loving fought against a law they knew was wrong. After they were married, they were sentenced with one year in prison. They were madly in love and the state of Virginia didn't care. It only saw the color of their skin.The Lovings fought for their love and it's because of their perseverance and strength that multiracial families can proudly walk the streets together today.Every year on June 12th, we celebrate Loving Day to remember the Lovings and celebrate their victory, our victory. It's because of them that all couples can marry, regardless of their race.
Who Should Celebrate Loving Day?
Whether you are in an interracial marriage, have a multiracial family or not, Loving Day is for you too. It's not only for a select group of people. Loving Day stands for something bigger. It stands for racial justice and our right to marry the person we love.Without the Loving's fight, my husband and I would not be married. Our marriage would be illegal because of the color of our skin. Our children wouldn't be able to marry girls of a different race or ethnic background. The Lovings changed my life, my children's lives, and the world.Everyone should celebrate Loving Day because it affects all of us.
How Can You Celebrate Loving Day?
Find a Loving Day celebration.
There are Loving Day celebrations all over the US during this time of year. You can even go to the Loving Day website and look for your city. If you don't have one around you, start your own! Get your town into it and celebrate!
Celebrate at home.
Make a special dinner for your family and talk about the Lovings. Share their story with your spouse and/or children. Talk about the fight they had for us to marry who we love. You can even watch a movie all about it!
Spread awareness.
While the Lovings changed the world for our family, not everyone knows just how important they are. You can spread the word and share Loving Day with your friends.
What Loving Day Means For My MultiracialFamily.
While the Lovings stood against a law forbidding white and black citizens from marrying, it made a difference for my family too. My husband is East Indian and I'm white. The Lovings not only fought for their family, but for us.The Lovings fought so my husband and I could raise our kids in a world where love isn't defined by skin color.My children are young, but they know that Loving Day is important. It's because of this special day in history that my children don't know a world where mommy and daddy can't get married because of the color of their skin.
How Can You Spread Awareness For Loving Day Today?
Head over to Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram to share your story. Post a picture of your family, introduce yourself, and tell us what Loving Day means for your family.
Head over to the Multiracial Motherhood Facebook Group and see how other multiracial families are celebrating!
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My Gut Reaction To Hand Feeding
My Gut Reaction To Hand Feeding
When I first met my husband's family, I was so nervous that I didn't think about questions I should be asking him to prepare myself. I was just focused on not making a complete fool of myself!Luckily, his family is full of amazing people that made me feel comfortable right away. They even shared some cultural differences I may notice throughout our first week together. One of the first things they mentioned was that they ate Indian food with their hands.They showed the technique behind how to do it and I even ended up trying it out myself. I'll be honest, it took me a little bit to feel comfortable doing it in front of them consistently, but I learned. It became something I could do to show my husband (fiancé at the time) that I was eager to learn more about his culture and to embrace it.Over the years we've been together, it's become second nature to me. In fact, I can't remember the last time I ate Indian food with a utensil. The joke in Indian families is that food doesn't taste as good when using a utensil and I'm starting to agree!A meal isn't just about the food in Indian culture. It's about family and the love you have for each other.When my husband and I were engaged, we had a ceremony. During the evening, some of the older aunty's and uncles (older friends of the family) hand fed us sweets.At first, I was surprised and kept offering to do it myself. Then my husband gently nudged me and let me know it was part of the ceremony itself.This one took me longer to be comfortable with. The last time someone hand fed me, I was a little kid. In my mind, hand feeding was something parents did for their children who needed help. I had never seen it done in any other way.Fast forward a few years and I ran into an interesting situation with my 5-year-old, Liam. He is my child that wants to be big, now! He's not about this whole growing up business. He wants everyone to know he's mature for his age and doesn't need help. He's s spitting image of myself as a child.During one of our trips to visit my husband's family, one of Liam's Uthamas started to try and hand feed him. His instant reaction was to take it from her hand and do it himself. She offered a few more times and then stopped. My husband and I tried to explain it to him, but he wasn't having it.I'm not a baby, momma.This was the first moment I realized hand feeding was something bigger than I thought it was. It wasn't about an adult treating someone like a kid. It was about the special moment between two people who cared about each other.Uthama was hand feeding Liam because she loved him. It was just like snuggling on the couch for her. They were having a special bonding moment.
Over the years, my kids have responded to this differently. My two younger kids live for it. If they could be hand fed for every meal, they would! Liam is still a different story. He's becoming more comfortable with it, but in the back of his mind, he still pushes back.One thing we've done to try and help explain it to him is having him feed his uncle. My sister in law got married a little over a year ago. Her husband asked Liam to feed him some fruit on one of our trips. Liam started to laugh thinking he was being silly.Then he did it and it was such a special moment. He loves his uncle so much so for him I think it finally clicked in his mind. Obviously he could have fed himself, but he asked Liam to do it.Ever since then, he's been much more willing to have people hand feed him. He would still prefer to feed himself, but I don't notice him turning people down as much anymore. Now he just asks to feed them after!
A Special Bond Between Brothers
How Do You Do It?
When people find out I have three boys under 6 years old, they immediately ask me, "How do you do it!" To be honest, most days are crazy. There are always little kids climbing on couches, fighting over toys, talking about bodily functions, and it gets messy.Real messy. Like Cheerios everywhere you can imagine kind of messy.However, there is one person that helps keep me sane every day, my five year old Liam. He is a rock star. He's definitely coming into a sassy I know everything phase, but he is always helping me. In our family, he is the Unna, which means the big brother.An Unna is a very special role in Indian families. They have the responsibility of looking out for their siblings and truly coming in as a little parent. For those of you that are the oldest in your family, you know what this looks like. Indian families take it a step further though. It's not just that they look out for their siblings, they truly have a place of authority in their siblings lives.I was introduced to this when I met my brother and sister in law for the first time. It was Thanksgiving and I was still getting to know my husband's family. We had been dating for a while at this point and knew it was serious. I was anxious to see what type of relationship my husband had with his siblings.I was the oldest of all my brothers so I had an idea what it looked like to have the responsibility on your shoulders. The more I watched them interact, the more I noticed something different. His siblings truly respected him and actually listened.I tell my brothers what to do all the time and usually they do what they want in the end. I'm sure I'd be the same way if the tables were turned.My brother and sister in law had a completely different relationship with their big brother. They valued what he said and went to him like they would to their own parents.
Passing Down Traditions To Our Boys
This was always something I wanted to pass on to my kids. I loved the idea behind it. It meant my kids would always be looking after each other and what mom doesn't want that.All three of my kids know and understands what it means to be an Unna. All three of them listen to their older brother and know it's their responsibility to take care of each other. Now, I'm not saying I let them parent each other while I lounge on the couch... As much as I'd love that!The relationship they have with each other is special. They rely on each other, love each other, and they're little partner's in crime everywhere they go.Out of all of the traditions we've passed down to the boys, this special bond is one of my favorites. I love the closeness it has brought all three of them.The funny thing is now they think all families are like ours. They assume they're unnas to everyone who is younger than this. This gets fun when we have play dates because they start bossing all the little kids around! Sometimes being an Unna is an excuse to be the boss.As they get older, they're going to learn more about what the role of an Unna means and I can't wait to watch them figure it out.
Living With Your In-Laws: The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly
Have you ever wondered what it would look like to live with your in-laws? Maybe you already live in a joint family and need some advice. Today, we get to have a little peak into what it actually looks like from Amanda! Amanda is the blogger behind the website MarocMama, a fearless guide to food and travel. She lives in Marrakech, Morocco with her extended family and loves to share culinary experiences and unique destinations around the world with her readers.
Living with Your In-laws: The Good, The Bad and the Ugly
Would you live with your in-laws? For many people who haven’t grown up in a culture where this practice is common it sounds like an absolute nightmare – and sometimes it is. Thirteen years ago I met and married my Moroccan husband. We lived in the US for many years until returning to Morocco four years ago. When we returned we moved into the family home.There are a lot of reasons extended families live in a single home and in Moroccan culture it’s as much to do with keeping the family together as it is practicality. When family members age they need to be cared for and this is done by their children. The reasons are also financial. In countries like Morocco it’s not always possible for a young couple to afford their own apartment or home.When we moved to Morocco, our first intention was to stay for only a year and to save money and make the move easier we opted to move into the family home. I had a few reservations but decided I could do just about anything for a year. While in some situations each family would have just their own room or two with shared common spaces, we had our own floor of the house with a private living room, bathroom, and kitchen. However, the house is laid out like a traditional Moroccan home – with an open center courtyard. All of the rooms on each floor face outward to this open middle space. So, while technically we had a private space it in actuality is semi-private.
What is it like to live with your in-laws?
Hard. But, not every situation is the same. For me, someone that had lived alone since I was 18 years old it was incredibly strange to get used to having to contend with others around me. There were two major issues that were difficult to get used to. First, when there would be a noise disturbance in the US from a neighbor I could call the police, that doesn’t work here. Moroccans, and especially my in-laws, tend to be night people. They stay up until very late at night, every night with little regard for the amount of noise they are making. This was an issue was I am a big fan of routines and bedtimes for our kids who were six and eight when we moved. Four years later this remains an issue but it is better than it was in the beginning.The second issue was the lack of privacy. Thankfully our floor of the house is private but in the beginning family members would walk in without knocking at any time. It was also very common that they would take, and in some cases ask, for different things that we had. It could be a brush, a broom, or something from the kitchen. I’ve heard from others that their clothing or shoes would “go missing,” and end up being worn by a sister in law or niece that day.Communal living can be a huge mental drain. I am someone that really needs solitude and time away from people. I’m not anti-social but I need to “recharge.” It was hard for my mother in law to understand that just because I wasn’t sitting in the living room with them didn’t mean I didn’t like them, it just meant I valued my space. I also work from home and it took a VERY long time to explain what this was. Again, I wasn’t being anti-social but I was working.When you are a foreign spouse in a traditional family there is a desire to want to do what they expect you to do. I felt this in the beginning but my advice to anyone who is living with their in-laws or considering it is not to fall into this trap. You will lose your own identity and in the end regret it, especially when you realize you’ll never be able to meet their expectations. If I were a typical Moroccan daughter-in-law, I would have been expected to cook and clean around the entire house, not just my floor. In the beginning this was mentioned but I immediately pushed back. I would help but I didn’t move here to become the live in help. It is critical that you have a firm sense of who you are, what your values are, and what your goals are so that you can compromise accordingly.
Are there any benefits to living with your in-laws?
I realize this all sounds very negative, but there are some benefits to living this way. One of the biggest advantages is that it can save a lot of money. If you’re on a tight budget or planning to relocate for a short period of time it can be ideal. Discuss with the family how your family will contribute; will you buy groceries, pay the electric bill, or something else? Living this way means shared responsibility in the household upkeep.The other advantage for us is that I travel a lot for work. My kids are able to always stay in their home without having to be uprooted from their house to go to grandma’s or their aunties house when mom and dad are gone or at work. There is always another adult around if they need something. No babysitters needed!Finally, even though it can be a huge strain living this way does bring a family closer together (it also drives you crazy but hey, that’s family!). My mother-in-law can come up and have lunch with us if she wants. We all can help each other when something is wrong and my kids always have playmates thanks to their cousins being right downstairs.I don’t think this style of living is for everyone and I do think it’s helpful to put a time limit on it. It can be very stressful for people who come from a culture where they are not used to living in such a way. If you do make this choice, put up your boundaries right away and stick to them, it will make life much easier for everyone. Be true to who you are and what your desires are because they will be challenged regularly. Finally, learn to accept the good with the bad and do whatever you can to make the bad a little more tolerable!
Follow Amanda's Journey
I Refuse To Lose Myself To My Kids
I Refuse To Lose Myself To My Kids
As a mother, my time is balanced between making dinner, wiping little kid's tushies, and doing the never ending dishes. I could sit here and complain about the list of things I do every day, but I love my job.I've dreamed about being a mom since I was a little girl. I love tucking my little boys in after an adventurous day. I love that they love me so much, they can't imagine a moment without me.I often choose a night at home with my kids rather than a girl's night. As exhausting as it is, I wouldn't want it any other way.I didn't realize it would be possible to love these three little boys as much as I do. It's a consuming love. It consumes my time, energy, my love, and if I'm not careful my identity.As moms, we're willing to sacrifice everything for our kids. We think we're doing it for them, but sometimes we give too much. We stop keeping anything for ourselves and we start to lose who we are.If moms give absolutely everything to their kids and family, what do they have left? We need to take care of ourselves so we can be the moms we want to be for our children.
4 Ways Mothers Can Take Care Of Themselves
Pamper Ourselves: Make the time to go out and have some time to pamper yourself. Whether it's getting your hair done, getting a pedicure, or a massage.Sometimes we feel guilty to go out and do things for ourselves because it means taking time away from our kids. We have to find a way to break that mindset. Taking time for yourself doesn't make you a bad mom, it actually shows your kids how important it is to take care of yourself. It gives you the energy you need to pour into your kids each day.Go Out Alone: Get a babysitter or make the hubby stay home with the kids. Take Schedule time for yourself each week. You can go out for a night with the girls or even head to Starbucks and read for a few hours.It's hard to find time for ourselves. Do whatever you can to make it happen each week.Find A Hobby: Find something that's just for you. This is how I discovered blogging. I was looking for something that could be mine, something I could do that made me happy.If mothers only do things for other people, they start to lose themselves. Is there something you enjoy doing? Something you've always wanted to try? Do it! Go and take a class or take time throughout the week to spend time doing something you love.Learn To Love Yourselves: One of the most important things we can do as mothers is to teach our kids to love themselves. We do that by loving ourselves. When we love ourselves, we start to understand how important it is to take care of ourselves, put ourselves first sometimes, and to know our own limits.You can love your kids with all of our heart and still love yourselves. How do you take care of yourself throughout the week.
The Realities of Being A Boy Mom
There's something special about being a mom to little boys. You're not just their parent, you're everything to them. They look to you for it all and you know just how much they need you. While some people may think they're rough and tumble, you know just how sensitive they are.
10 Things Boy Moms Understand
1. You Get Used To The Boy Smell. There is a distinct smell that follows your boys everywhere they go. It starts much sooner than you thought possible, but it's there. Boys are just stinky and it only gets worse. This is why daily baths are a must. 2. You're The Most Important Person In Their Life. There is a special love between a little boy and their momma. It's something that would take the jaws of life to get in-between. You're the first woman they've ever loved and they look to you for everything.3. You're Constantly Flushing Toilets. Little boys are notorious for forgetting to flush the toilet. You even find yourself apologizing for what guests could find in the bathroom just in case...4. Early Park Days Are Necessary. Boys are non-stop energy. The only way to get them to stop jumping off of the furniture is to let them jump and climb their little hearts out. This is why parks were invented.5. You Find Yourself Saying Things You Never Imagined. You'll surprise yourself daily on the things you end up saying to your little boys. Don't pee on your brother. Don't lick the garbage!6. We're Used To Things Being Broken. The days of owning nice, pretty things are long gone. Now is the time of broken lamps, cracked tv's (after playing fetch with the dog), and stained clothes. Boys like to play.7. Bodily Functions Are Hilarious. It doesn't matter how many times you tell your boys not to, they're going to talk about poop, farts, and butts all the time. The funny part is you'll end up laughing too. How can you not when you see your kids rolling on the floor, laughing!?8. Everything Turns Into A Wrestling Match. It doesn't matter how it starts, it's always going to end in wrestling. Your kids will spend most of their days wrestling on the furniture, trampoline, and ground. The only thing to figure out is whether they're laughing or mad.9. Your Grocery Bill Is Insane. Boys can eat. Add a few of them together and your grocery bill is going to get crazy. Just imagine how it's going to be when they get into high school!10. You Befriend Other Boy Moms. You'll find yourself drifting to other boy moms because they understand exactly what your day looks like.
Multiracial Motherhood: Embracing Who You Are
Today, a very special momma is joining us to share about her multiracial motherhood journey. Meghan is the voice behind www.meghanjoyyancy.com where she shares about her multiracial family and talks about how you can find joy in living for today!
Photo Credit: Melissa LeeAnn
Meet Momma Meghan
Welcome to the life of our family of 7! My husband and I met years ago as he played college basketball with my big brother. So, he was the one dating his teammates sister. We dated for 4 short months before getting engaged and we had an 8 month engagement. Our wedding day was almost exactly 1 year from the day we started dating. We got pregnant with our honeymoon baby and about 10 months later, our first daughter was born. This summer we will be celebrating 9 years of marriage and we managed to pop out 5 kids under that age of 8 in those years. It’s been a whirlwind of a glorious adventure!My husbands’ entire family is from Liberia and although he was born in New York, his family is very traditional with their culture and lifestyle. My families heritage comes from Germany and Sweden so my kids love learning about all their of their lineage traditions. Being enriched in the culture of their own blood.
What is something you’ve learned through blending cultures in your family?
To grasp and experience everything we can with respect and gratitude. Beyond what countries our families hail from, but even in the way we operate, communicate and just do life. To be able to have understanding and grace in all aspects of blending family life is so important to healthy relationships. It’s not always easy to do, but it is something to strive for.I tend to be a VERY picky eater. I sometimes even have trouble eating some of the meat I cook myself. And because of this, I believe I have actually hurt my mother-in-loves feelings when she has cooked traditional Liberian meals. It’s not because of her food, but my own ridiculous eating habits that make for some fairly high-maintenance eating habits. At least I can admit that.But I have tried to make an effort over the years to at least TRY the traditional Liberian food. And if anything, I welcome with open arms her wonderful cooking for my husband to enjoy because it is comfort food for him. He grew up with it and so it feels like home for him. And I’m not intimidated or resentful of that. And I also want my kids to be mindful of the different foods and always be willing to try new things.
What is one struggle you’ve encountered?
The stereotypes.The stigma of a black man with a white woman.I will let you mind go where it goes in this. There are so many assumptions.Half-siblings.Gold-digging.Welfare.Foster Care.Control issues.Abusive.“He only likes white women”“She only likes black guys.”Whatever sterotypes you have heard or maybe even witnessed yourself, believe me, we have felt the affects of them. And not like we had anything to prove, but we definitely strive for greatness in all we do, despite the thoughts/words/actions that naturally come our way.
What advice would you share with other multicultural families?
Embrace exactly who you are. Every beautiful woven piece of unity you bring to the table, relish it. LOVE is born in exactly what you have and don’t let the world dull your shine.
Follow Meghan Along On Her Journey
What Can I Do If They Won't Speak My Language?
Early on in an interracial relationship, one of the most uncomfortable moments is sitting in a room where everyone is talking in a different language around you. So many things start to go through your mind...Are they doing it because they don't like you?Are they talking about you?You start questioning their motive and whether or not they're welcoming you into the family. A few years, later you realize it's just a part of the game. Honestly, at some point they have talked about you, but most of the time they're just talking.It's different in every family. In my experience, my in laws speak in Telugu because it's comfortable and a part of who they are. It was the first language they learned so why wouldn't they speak it when they're together with their family?They don't do it the whole time I'm there, but I couldn't imagine asking them to speak in English when I'm around. That's just me and may be completely different for you.You may be married into a family where they do it out of spite... Maybe they truly aren't welcoming you in, don't speak in English at all, or they're just learning to be aware of the language when you walk into a room.Whatever they reason, most of us have been there. So, what do you do? What is your response in that moment?Instead of getting upset, I'm here to help you find a few different ways you can respond and maybe even get you to smile in that moment!
6 Responses When You Have No Idea What's Being Said Around You
At the end of the day, you can't control what people do. The only thing you can do is choose how you respond to the situation. Here are a few ways you can respond and bring a smily to your face in the moment!
Smile and Nod
While they're talking in front of you, just smile and nod. Unless they're in a heated conversation then put on your best angry face! This is the "Let's hope it stops soon" situation. Most likely they'll start speaking in English soon so you just wait it out.
Laugh When Appropriate
Pretend like you're completely in the conversation. If everyone's laughing, start laughing with them! You'll nighter get their attention and they'll laugh with you or they'll stare at you wondering what you're laughing about. Then you let them wonder what you're thinking.
Secretly Learn The Language
This is my favorite. Secretly learn the language. Then you can sit there in those conversations, knowing exactly what they're saying. Wait for the best moment to finally catch them talking about you! Aha! I knew it! Then you can pull the most epic moment ever and respond to them in the same language!
Go Take A Nap
While they're talking, sneak away for a little r and r. Maybe they won't even notice, but at least you get a nap out of the situation. This was my go to response when I was pregnant with my kids.
Gentle Hints
Oh, what was that? I couldn't hear you. What did you say?After enough "gentle" hints they'll get the message and hopefully start including you in the conversation.
Have Your Husband Interpret
Let your husband be your covert spy. Have him interpret the conversation for you. Although let me warn you right now the jokes they make are never funny after being interpreted. They loose all humor in translation and you may regret having him interpret everything for you.
What is your go to response?
21 Signs You Have A Toddler
Sometimes I ask myself how it's possible for so many things to happen in one day. Then I remember I have three kids 5 years old and younger. Today, I found my son pouring rice crisps all over the floor, peeing in the bathtub, making syrup and ketchup toast, and using all my clean clothes to build a tower.My kids are always up to something. If they're quiet, I know it's bad and I run!The best part about being a mom to a toddler is finding another toddler mom! They understand exactly how you feel. They know why you go to a park with the kids at 8am, they know how it feels to have your kid throw a huge tantrum in the middle of Target, and they just get it.If you have a toddler, you'll be able to relate to a few of these too!
21 Signs You Have A Toddler
Waking up at 8 feels like you slept in all morning.Your purse has turned into a Marry Poppins bag that carries more than you ever thought possible.A grocery trip without the kids feels as good as a day at the spa.You avoid having your kids pray in public because it turns into an expose of your family's secrets.The bottom half of your walls are covered in grimy fingerprints.You haven't seen the floor of your car in months because it's covered in goldfish and Cheerios.You have no shame in bribing your kids to listen in public.You've found yourself sitting on a pee covered toilet in the middle of the night because your kids failed to pee inside.You constantly find foreign substances on your clothes.You realize you have no cute family pictures because someone always have their finger up their nose or refuses to look at the camera.You lick your child's pacifier after it falls on the ground.Somedays, merely giving your child a bath feels like the biggest accomplishment!You'd rather eat cereal for dinner than to put your kids in the car and get groceries.You have to mediate fights over the empty cereal box which is now apparently the best thing in the house.You're constantly taking remotes out of the toilet.You find yourself yelling, "Why are you always naked," multiple times a day.You realize all of the nice things in your house has been broken once.Then you realize you no longer have nice things.You find your keys in a shoe after hours of looking.You willingly let your child rip something up just so you can get a few seconds of piece and quiet.You realize you haven't slept in months.
40 Family Friendly Summer Activities
My kids have been counting down for summer since the pools closed last year. They love swimming and my 5 year old even started to learn how to do it on his own! Even though I tried as hard as I could to keep him from the pool altogether.In our family summer means sunshine, family vacations, visits from family all over the globe, and grilled Indian food. We all love it.Since moving to North Carolina, we feel like we're starting summer a bit early here. The weather has been amazing here lately with sunshine and heat. I know summers here get a little crazy, but we're daydreaming anyways. We even made a list of all the things we want to do this summer!
40 Family Friendly Summer Activities
1. Got To The Beach2. So Strawberry Picking3. Make Ice Cream4. Go Camping5. Make S'mores6. Read 5 Books7. Water Balloon Fight8.Collect SeaShells9. Conquer A Fear10. Try Something New11. Camp In Your BackYard12. Build A SandCastle13. Eat Watermelon14. Go On A Road trip15. Volunteer As A family16. Do A Lemonade Sale17. Have A Sleepover18. Scavenger Hunt19. Watch Fireworks20. Kids Make Dinner21. Go To The Zoo22. Go On A Kite23. Host A Dinner With Friends24. Watch a Foreign Movie25. Visit A Farmer's Market26. Attend A Parade27. Slip N Slide28. Treasure Hunt29. Homemade Pizza30. Splash Park31. Outside Movie Night32. Picnic33. Breakfast for Dinner34. Sleepover at Grandmas35. Ride a bike36. Game Night37. Make Potato Stamps38. Summer Camp39. Put On A skit40.Obstacle Course
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Food Prep Tips You Can't Live Without
This is a sponsored post for SheSpeaks/Rubbermaid® As always, all opinions are my own.
Dinner Time With The Almost Indian Family
As a multiracial family, food is very important. It has become our favorite way to blend cultures. All you have to do is stop by our house any night of the week and you'll see fusion dishes galore as well as Indian feasts!If we're making dinner, we use a lot of our Indian spices to add our family's unique flare to the dish. It makes it our own and we love tasting cumin, cardamom, chilies, and garlic in our food. It's become extremely easy in our house because we've become obsessed with food prep.Our fridge and freezer are loaded with prepped veggies and meals to make dinner time a bit easier. It also means ingredients are easy to grab so spice up any dish.It also means we can make Indian food throughout the week. The thing that always stops me when I'm about to make Indian food is the thought of how much work it's going to be. You have to chop up all the veggies, make the rice, prepare the lentils, make the curry base...There is so much involved! It can end up taking a few hours to get dinner prepared and I honestly don't have the time. This is where food prep comes in. It's shaved off so much time for our family!
My Meal Prep Tips
Meal prep looks different in every family. You may whip up all of your meals on the weekends and reheat during the week. Or maybe you prepare all of your ingredients to make it easier. Either way these tips can help you.
Meal Plan For The Week
If you only followed on tip, this would be it. Plan out your meals. Think through breakfast, lunch, and dinner throughout the week. Write it all down. This helps you know exactly what you need to get when grocery shopping as well as helping you plan better the day of.If you know you're going to be making chicken curry, you know you have to thaw out your chicken. If you know you're making Naan, you know you have to prep your dough. It takes the stress out of cooking as well as limits those last minute store trips. We all know how crazy they can get with kids!
Chop Up Some Of Your Ingredients
Chop up all the veggies you plan on using throughout the week. Chopping veggies is time consuming. Take some time over the weekend and chop them all up. You can put them in a container and then all you have to do is open it up and grab what you need.If you have some lovely kitchen assistants like I do, you can put them to work! My kids love chopping up the veggies for me. They even make sure to tell everyone which veggies they cut up while we're enjoying dinner at the table. They love it and it helps momma out!
Have Some Fillers Ready To Go
Fillers look a little different in every house. A few of them are beans, rice, naan, or lentils. Plan out some of the fillers you plan on using throughout week. Then you can whip them up and put them in a large container.Our family eats rice with every meal and it takes 40 minutes for our rice to cook. Instead of taking 40 minutes every day, I cook it every few days. It helps cut time and also makes sure we always have our favorite filler on hand for the hectic nights.
Invest Into Good Meal Prep Containers
A good container is an absolute must have for any type of food prep. You need to find leak proof food storage containers that will keep everything fresh. Our favorite to use is Rubbermaid BRILLIANCE containers. They actually sent our family a set to try out this month. I have so many containers so I was curious to see how they'd hold up. They're amazing!The lids are a tight fit which means it locks in the freshness. We have used them for our homemade garam masala, left overs, and prepped veggies.It's hard to find good containers for our family because turmeric stains everything. We use it in all of our Indian dishes, but it ends up turning our containers yellow. the Rubbermaid containers didn't change colors! They stayed crystal clear, even after holding keema curry.When using a container for meal prep you need leak proof guaranteed and these are! My kids even knocked them out of the fridge and they didn't open up. I heard the load crash and hesitated to turn around. They're always knocking things over, but to my surprise nothing leaked out. You can even keep the lid vented open to prevent splatters in the microwave.
Cook On Sundays
Use all of these tips and do your meal prep over the weekend. This way you start out your week stress free. You get all the hard work done over the weekend, with a little help. The rest of the week just requires you to open ups few containers and cook them up on the stove.
Giveaway
Do you want to win your own Rubbermaid BRILLIANCE food storage set? Comment below with a food prep tip and SHARE this post. The winner will be announced on June 1st. Good luck!
What are your meal prep tips?
Why You Should Give Your Mother In Law Some Slack
I'll never forget the moment I waited in Uthama's (My husband's aunt) living room to meet my future mother in law. I was absolutely terrified. Joel was the first serious relationship I had ever had so meeting the parents was a whole new experience for me.I didn't know what to say or how to act. All I could think of was the fact that I was about to make the world's most awkward first impressions ever.What if she hated me?What if I didn't live up to her expectations?I paced back and forth until the moment I heard the garage door open. Then my heart completely stopped. This was it. This was the moment I would remember forever.Joel's family all walked in, one by one. I met his brother and sister first and it went well. They seemed really nice and I could tell it would be natural with them.Then in walked his mom... I practically froze. I started questioning everything I was about to do.Should I hug her? Shake her hand?Then she walked over to me and gave me a hug. I wish I could say all my fears disappeared in that moment, but they didn't. I was nervous all weekend because I wanted her to like me. I was already madly in love with her son and I knew we'd be together forever.It's funny looking back on how our relationship began because now she's the one I call when I need advice. It may be for a recipe, advice with the kids, or just to talk. We've both put in a lot of hard work for our relationship and it's completely paid off.
I'll admit, I didn't realize how important our relationship was until I had boys of my own. Then I pictured what it would look like when they grew up and got married.Would I be close to their wives? Would we be friends? Would I become the crazy mother in law in all of their stories?Having kids has taught more than I ever could have imagined about life, but having boys has taught me something special about my mother in law.
The Most Important Women In Your Husband's Life
When your husband got married, you became the most important women in his life. You became the one he would depend on, trust in, and go to for everything. While it's very special for you and your husband, it's extremely difficult for your mother in law. She not only has to figure out her relationship with you, but she has to figure out her new relationship with her son.She will always hold a special place in your husband's life, but it changes after he gets married. She has to step back and let you come in. It's easy to get frustrated with your mother in law when you feel certain pressures, see how involved she is, etc. Instead you have to look at how much her life has changed and the fact that she's trying to figure it out just like you.
Where Does Your Mother In Law Fit In
She wants to know where she fits in to her sons life now. I don't know about you, but I dread this moment with my sons. I am excited for them to get married, but I don't even like to think about the moment my relationship with them will change. It will always be beautiful and special, but it will change.In addition to the typical changes your mother in law will face, think about how much more complicated it becomes when her daughter in law was raised in a different cultures....I love looking to see what people search to find my blog. One of the new popular searches is How Do I Handle A Daughter In Law From A Different Culture...You all have expectations of what your relationship will look like with your mother or daughter in law. You come up those expectations based on how you've seen them happen in the past. Often times, you will look to your own life and see how it's happened with your sister in law, a cousin's wife, etc.Then you get married and realized it's all different. Everything you thought would happen doesn't and instead your faced with a new set of challenges.This is how it is for a mother who welcomes in a daughter raised in a different culture. She had all of these expectations on how she would talk to you, how she would interact with you, and how she would fit into your life. You had expectations as well, but they all looked differently.Letting go of expectations is difficult because they are deeply rooted in us. You may not even realize all of the expectations you had until they start to play out differently. As they start to happen differently than you anticipated you will typically respond by getting angry or distancing yourself. Your mother in law will do the same thing.It's hard. It's hard to let go of your expectations.So what do you do? What should your mother in law do? There is one thing that will truly help you figure out your relationship with each other. Communicate. Communication is the most important thing in any relationship. You and your mother in law have to talk to each other before, during, and after situations come up.It will help you to understand each other and talk about expectations you may not have known about. Be careful not to shut each other down if you don't agree. You need to be open to the reality that your relationship will look different than you thought and that's not a bad thing. The more you work on it and the more you communicate, the closer you will be.You're both just trying to figure out your roles and see where you fit into each other's lives. Give each other grace and a little slack as you figure it out.
What would you say to someone struggling in their relationship with a mother or daughter in law?
Momma's Game Day Must Haves
This post contains affiliate links, but as always all opinions are my own. I only recommend items we actually use and love!
I've officially entered a new stage of motherhood. My boys have begun sports! I was going to wait a few more years, but the opportunity came up and they jumped at it. They were so excited to play on a team and I couldn't say no.Now, our weekends are filled with practice and games days. Game days have been a lot of fun. Levi is playing soccer and Liam is playing football. Liam has been obsessed with learning the plays and being the best on the team. The fact that he's the smallest one hasn't even crossed his mind. Levi is a different ball game. He likes running, but doesn't care which direction or trying to get the ball. Although, today he discovered the goalie position and was in love. He didn't have to do anything, but wait for the ball.We're about to have our last game and I've definitely learned a few things.I've learned through trial and error what to bring and what not to bring. I tried to prepare for every possibility. We ended up being there all morning because we had a gap between games.The biggest problem I had was lugging around so many things. My husband usually ended up carrying it all while I tried wrangling all the kids from around the field. Less is definitely more when it comes to game days with kids.
1. Drawstring Backpack
My kids have a dozen different backpacks, but we made sure to have one just for game day and practice. It helps because I can keep all of their equipment in one bag and it makes the game days a little easier.
2. Water Bottles
Kids have to bring water to each practice and game day so a water bottle was essential. I love this one too because it's insulated and keeps it cold the whole morning.
3. Camp Chair With Bag
Camp chairs are a must have for mom and dad. This one also has a bag which makes carrying it much easier.
4. Insulated Bag
While the little kids and I watch the game, they're always snacking. It's the only way to keep them busy. Our insulated bag has been great because it keeps all of our snacks good and cold.
5. Kid's Wagon With Canopy
If you don't get anything else, get this. This is my absolute favorite. It has straps and keeps the little ones buckled in with their little activities. Not to mention it folds up small!
What are your game day must haves?
15 Things I Discovered After Becoming A Mom
15 Things I Discovered After Becoming A Mom
I've wanted to be a mom since I was a little girl. I would sit next to my mom while she rocked my baby brother and mimic her every move. Now, I'm a mother to three beautiful little boys and I never could have imagined just how much my life would change.
Sleep Becomes The Most Important Thing
The exhaustion starts when they're first born and it just never goes away. The books promise you'll get more sleep as they get older, but it's all a lie.
Time Truly Does Fly
Parents warn you how quickly it goes, but you never know until it you see it first hand. I still remember holding my moments old babies. Now, I look at them and my oldest is about to go into first grade. They get big so quickly.
You Get To Be A Kid Again
One of the best parts of being a parent is that you get to be a kid all over again. You get to dress up and play pirates, you get to watch every kid movie you could think of, and you love every minute of it.
Privacy Is A Thing Of The Past
The days of using the bathroom alone are far behind you. After kids, you can expect kids watching you pee, trying to hop in the shower with you, and knocking during the worst possible times.
At Some Point You'll End Up Hurting Your Kid And You'll Feel Terrible
At some point, you'll be wrestling with your kids and you will accidentally hurt one of them. You'll feel like the worst human alive, but it's ok. We've all been there.
A Crazy Night On The Town Looks Much Different
Before kids, a night out may last the entire night. Now, a night out ends just in time for the babysitter to drive home.
Sick Days Don't Exist
As a mom, sick days just don't happen. You'll try to let the kids watch movies all day, but they act like it's torture. Then they make the biggest messes possible.
Kisses Heal Every Boo Boo
You'll discover the magic behind a kiss from mommy. There is no boo boo big for mom.
Your Purse Becomes A Portable Trash For Your Kids
It doesn't matter how many garbages are around, your purse becomes the catch all for all your kids trash.
Bedtime Becomes The Prime Time To Ask Life's Deepest Questions
You could spend your entire day with your kids, but they will hold onto every big, life question until you're tucking them into bed.
Your Kids Will Embarrass You In Public Many, Many Times
Your kids are going to find the "best" possible moment to talk about your fat tummy, the guy with no hair standing in front of you, or the smelly person at the grocery store.
Your Kid's Selective Hearing Wears Off The Second You Say A Bad Word
You're kids won't hear you when you tell them to clean their room, but they will when you stub your toe and a cuss word comes. out.
You Won't Ever Be Able To Hide Goodies From Your Kids
You'll wait for your kids to go to bed before you bring out your stash of goodies. Then they will run into your room the moment they hear you open the bag.
A Trip To Target Alone Feels Like A Vacation
Getting out of the house alone, even if it's just to Target, will feel like a luxurious vacation. You'll even wander up and down the aisles for one little item.
Just How Much You Can Love Someone
You'll dream about becoming a mom, but you'll never be able to truly imagine the way you'll feel about them. The way your heart will instantly melt the moment you hold them for the first time. Nothing can compare to the love a mom has for her child.
Letting Go Of Who Culture Says You Should Be
Letting Go Oh Who Culture Says You Should Be
About 4 years ago, I was sitting in my kitchen. I was feeling overwhelmed with all the pressure I had on my shoulders to be the perfect Indian wife.In all honesty, I was beating myself up. I was feeling crushed under the pressure to be the perfect Indian wife. It didn't matter what I did, I couldn't do anything Indian enough. I had been married for a few years at that point and I thought I'd have it figured out by then. Instead, I was just disappointed in myself. I was questioning if I'd ever be able to get there.
Would I ever be the perfect Indian wife?
Then it hit me.No.The answer was so simple, but the freedom I felt from saying it felt incredible.I would never be the perfect Indian wife because I'm not Indian. I may have teased that my tan skin during my wedding did, in fact, mean I was East Indian, but I wasn't.I married my husband, knowing he was East Indian and he married me knowing I wasn't. I was enough for him, so why was I pressuring myself to change?There are so many interracial couples out there doing exactly what I did. They're pressuring themselves to fit an image culture has created for someone else.Multiracial families break the mold when it comes to what it looks like to be a wife, girlfriend, husband, or boyfriend. There isn't one image that works for everyone because we're all blending cultures in our families differently.This is how The Almost Indian Wife was born. I knew I wouldn't ever be able to become the perfect Indian wife, so I asked myself who I was. This is a huge question for anyone.
Who am I?
Then it came to me. I was The Almost Indian Wife. Every time I say it, I smile. The Almost... It's a reminder to me that I'm my own person. While I love Indian culture and I'm always looking for ways to bring it into our family, I'm not Indian. I even tease my husband that we're the Almost Indian Family!The Almost Indian Wife isn't expected to do everything the Indian way. She isn't expected to be the perfect Indian parent. She's navigating between two beautiful cultures and making the rules for herself.Today, I want to take a moment to remind you that you're enough. You don't have to change yourself for your relationship. You don't have to be the perfect partner based on your partner's culture.
Your partner fell in love with you and not for an idea of what you would become.
Today, I welcome you to the Almost club. This club is full of people who pride themselves on being who they are. Don't worry we don't have any cheesy chants or songs (until I can think of one!). By joining, all you have to do tell yourself, I am enough.Your confidence will help you get through anything that comes your way. It took me a long time to be confident in being The Almost Indian Wife.In all honesty, I had to start walking it out before I felt it. Sometimes your feet need to tell the rest of the body what's going on. By walking out your confidence, even if it's not quite there, you're still making a commitment to yourself.You're committing to loving yourself whether you feel it or not.You're committing to being proud of who you are. Take a moment today and really think about the pressure you're putting on yourself, like I did. Then ask yourself that question. Who am I?
In the comments, tell me who you are. What defines YOU? Let all the pressure and expectation go. Who are you?
Our Family Adventure At Wise Acres Organic Farm
As some of you know, my family and I moved to North Carolina a few months ago. Since we've been here, we've slowly been venturing out looking for fun places to take the family.This week our friend invited us along on her homeschool co-op field trip! We were sold when she said strawberry picking! I was surprised to see just how close it was to our house.
If you're ever in the Charlotte area, you have to head over to the Wise Acres Organic Farm.It's run by a family who moved here from Chicago. They wanted to have a small organic farm and it wasn't possible in the city. Now, there family is able to run a small organic farm where families around can bring their kids and spend the day!
They have tractor rides without all the itchy hay!
The best part of the tractor ride was the little Dr. Seuss flare! During the tractor ride, the kids were on the hunt for Truffala trees! Every one they spotted ended with kids yelling and pointing! They loved it!
They even have a cute horse tire swing. My kids could have spent the whole day on the swing! Levi was so in love with it, he even gave it a little speech as we left.OK I think this is it. Don't worry, I'll be back one day. 
Luke's favorite part were the animals! He got to meet some bunny friends and even hold a baby chicken! It was all good until the chicken started flapping his wings! The little guy was convinced it was after him!
Strawberry picking was the biggest success! The boys went up and down picking every red strawberry they could find. I figured they'd stop when their little baskets were full, but no. Luke found a way around it. He started filling his little mouth with them instead!Overall, the day was a success and the boys are already asking when we're going back!
Be sure to watch my Insta Story to see what we make with our strawberries!
10 Summer Activities To Do With Your Kids
Let's Beat The Heat With These Summer Activities For Kids!
I'm not sure about you guys, but it's getting HOT in North Carolina. It's showing us just how crazy our summer is going to be! We've decided to share some of our favorite ways to beat the heat this summer!Here are 10 of our favorite activities from other bloggers who know exactly how to do do summer right!
1. I love this Backyard Teepee from Mamma Papa Bubba! It would be perfect for a little outdoor fort or even a little reading spot.
Get everything you need to make it here.
2. Mini Water Blobs from Hello Wonderful. They're perfect for some outdoor slipping and sliding!
Get everything you need to make it here.
3. This Portable Sandbox from How We Learn is perfect! You can fill it up and bring it anywhere!
Get everything you need to make it here.
4. Squirt Gun Races from This Grandma Is Fun is a huge hit at our house! My kids love anything Nerf gun!
Get everything you need to make it here.
5. Make your own Fairy Garden with Design Dazzle! I've always wanted to make one of these!
Get everything you need to make it here.
6. Make Giant Bubbles with One Charming Party. Who doesn't want bubbles as big as yourself!?
Get everything you need to make it here.
7. Build a Pool Noodle Race Track with Ramblings From Utopia.
Get everything you need to make it here.
8. Have some cold fun by freezing your Treasure Hunt with Macaroni Kid.
Get everything you need to make it here.
9. Do a Rock Painting Craft with What Can We Do With Paper and Glue.
Get everything you need to make it here.
10. Enjoy some Squirt Gun Painting with Fire Flies and Mud Pies.
Get everything you need to make it here.
12 Things Interracial Couples Are Tired Of Hearing
12 Things Interracial Couples Hear All The Time
As an interracial couple, you're used to people asking you questions and maybe staring a bit. Sometimes people are curious and other times they're just enamored but what an adorable couple you are.The questions though.. They get a little crazy. They start off innocent and then just get... Well, you'll see.
1. You met online...?
2. Did your family approve?
3. Getting quizzed to see if the stereotypes are true
4. Racial jokes
5. Have you ever been attracted to your own race?
6. I would love having mixed kids! Can you help me find a (____)
7. Won't your kids be confused
8. I've dated someone who's ____ before
9. Is it uncomfortable getting both of your families together
10. Doesn't it feel weird being the only (___) at their family events
11. You're really progressive.
12. I love Kim Kardashian and Kanye!
What are you tired of hearing about your interracial relationship?
7 Multiracial Families You Should Follow!
The Almost Indian Wife
I love sharing my story with all of you on here. If you really want to see the nitty gritty of our multiracial family's day to day, be sure to follow us on Instagram. You'll see my boys mischievous little plans, what we're whipping up for dinner, hear fun stories, and get to know the family behind the blog.
Are Those Your Kids
Diedre is the glamorous girl behind Are Those Your Kids blog. She is a momma who seriously does it all! She helps her hubby on the farm, works as an educator, all while being the momma of two gorgeous little girls! Her Instagram is full of tips for curly hair, a glance at farm life, and all the fun in-between.
We're Parents
Larisha is the semi-crunchy mom behind We're Parents blog. Together with her fiancé, she is raising two beautiful little girls! Her Instagram is full of mouthwatering food, family adventures, baby wearing, breastfeeding, and authentic life moments. Her family is adorable and I love following their adventures!
De Su Mama
Vanessa is the beautiful momma behind De Su Mama blog. Her whole blog is about your multiracial motherhood legacy and what it looks like to be a multiracial family. Her family is always visiting fun places and I love seeing how they blend cultures and what it looks like to have a family legacy.
Cherish 365
Jennifer is the voice behind Cherish 365 blog formerly known as Baby Making Machine. She is truly a rockstar in her family. She has a little boy and a girl and her whole mission with her blog and Instagram is to cherish every day. She finds the beauty in every moment and it's truly inspiring.
Madh Mama
Alexandra is the voice behind Madh Mama blog. Her story is beautiful and I love following her along on her journey. She is raising two beyond gorgeous little girls while living in a joint family. I love seeing how her family embraces Indian culture together and what it looks like for them to be a multiracial family.
English Wife Indian Life
Lauren is the jet setting momma behind English Wife Indian Life blog. She fell in love with her husband and moved her entire life to India. Now they are raising a beautiful little boy together while she lives abroad. I love seeing her family on Instagram because she's showing how she keeps her culture alive while living so far from home. The beautiful thing is now India is her home!
20+ Things You Can Do For Mom This Mother's Day
20+ Things To Do With Mom On Mother's Day
Mother's Day is the day momma long for every year. It's the day we can get away with as many hugs and kisses from our kids as we want, we get spoiled, and we get a break.I'm going to tell you a little secret today. You may go out of your way to find the most elaborate and special gift you can find, but it doesn't have to be hard. All we want is to put our feet up for a bit and have some fun!Here are a few ways you can spoil your mom this Mother's Day!
Write her a letter
Write her a letter telling her how much you love her. You will always be her little baby and those little letters will mean the world to her.
Draw her a picture
Maybe you're a little too young to write a letter. No worries, you can draw momma a picture!
Make her breakfast
You may think a big and elaborate breakfast is what she wants, but breakfast in bed is the answer. She doesn't even have to put her make up on! She simply has to roll over and enjoy a delicious breakfast in bed.
Record a video
Take some time to record a video and let her know how much you love her. You can even throw in a few of your favorite memories.
Rub her feet
Pamper you momma. She spend her whole day taking care of everyone and today is her day. Have her sit down, relax, and rub her feet.
Clean the house
Cleaning is the absolute LAST thing your mom wants to do today. While she sits down, clean up the house.
Take her out on a family adventure
Take her out for a fun adventure. It could be a hike or even a movie she's been dying to see.
Do a game night
Turn off the TV and bring out the board games. Sometimes mom just wants to spend some good quality time with her family and game night is just the way for it to happen.
Send momma away for the weekend
Be an over achiever and schedule a weekend getaway for momma. You can work it out with one of her friends and send her away for a spa getaway.
Pamper momma
Don't stop at rubbing her feet, pamper her all day. You can play with her hair, scratch her back, and even bring her snacks when ever she wants!
Surprise her with a fun day out
Surprise her with a fun day out and about. Momma spends so much of her time in the house or doing things for the family. Take her out for an entire day and let her choose everything!
Look at old pictures with momma
Take out the photo albums and go down memory lane.
Put on a skit
Spend some time practicing to put on a funny skit for mom.
Let her use the bathroom alone
Trust me. If she has little kids, SHE NEEDS THIS.
Go grocery shopping
Find her grocery list and go grocery shopping for her. Get the brands she normally gets, if you remember. This is the gift that will keep giving back all week!
Put all the electronics away
Put all of the electronics away on her day. She just wants to spend time with you and talking to you while you're on your phone isn't the same thing. I'm talking to you dads!
Let her hug and kiss you as much as she wants to
As kids get older, you may not want as many hugs and kisses all day. Let her indulge today. Come on, she's your mom!
Buy her a fun class
Does she have a hobby she enjoys? Buy her a class to have more fun with it!
Book her a mani/pedi
Send her out to get a mani/pedi. They're so relaxing and will make her feel great.
LET HER SLEEP
This is the absolute best gift you can get mom. Let the woman sleep! She's been deprived ever since she started her motherhood journey and today is the day to let her sleep as long as she wants!