My Son Is Colorblind
I'm very excited to introduce you to Rebecca, a presently homeschooling mother of 2, wife to her teenage sweetheart, and author & illustrator of Evie & Alistair: Farmhouse Warriors, now available on Amazon.
This is not a metaphor in regard to racial equality, being that he is a brown boy raised in a peach family. In fact, that metaphor is a significant irritation due to its unintended implications that we are choosing to overlook something that is perceived as inherently less-than in order to accept a person in spite of what they possess, rather than embracing or wholly valuing a person, with color being a fundamental ingredient in the makeup of who they are.Medically speaking, our son has strong deuteranomaly. Without the intervention of technology or a miraculous act of God, he will never see color rightly. That’s just the state of how he was wired in all his humanness. This doesn’t mean that there is something innately wrong with his personhood. It simply means that his visual perception is off.Colorblindness isn’t the only issue with our boy’s vision, and quite honestly, he is so good at compensating for it I may have never been aware of his struggles if a routine screening hadn’t indicated such. He seemed to recognize characters without trouble, he wasn’t squinting or complaining of headaches, and at the time his mix-ups in color recognition could be chalked up as age appropriate. He correctly identified them much of the time too, which cleverly masked his distortion. It’s just that his eyes are the only eyes that he has ever lived with, so he had adapted his output quite well, and at first none of us knew that what he was taking in wasn’t the right thing.His perception is totally valid, understandable, and logical. But its legitimacy & rationality don’t change the fact that it is wrong.Our boy is a problem solver by nature. For example, when he wanted me to cook a grilled cheese sandwich but I was unwilling, he took it upon himself to toast bread in the toaster, put cheese on it, and melt it in the microwave (since he’s not allowed to use the stove). I thought that showed pretty good ingenuity and initiative for a then 5 (now 7) year old.I’ve noticed this quality playing out in the practicality of education as well. Often his instructions would be to color a certain section according to a calculated sum. You know… color all of the 4’s yellow, color all of the 9’s purple, etc. Initially, though his arithmetic was correct, his colors were off. A lot. Understanding that it was due to the challenge with his eyesight, if I even were to say anything at all I may occasionally point out, “This is actually green and not brown, although I know it’s hard for you to see that.” As time went on, I realized that he hadn’t been making as many mistakes. I honestly just thought that his improvements were simply due to lucky guessing. Until one day, I noticed something peculiar out of the corner of my eye: our son would pick up a crayon, gaze at it intently, put it down. Pick up another crayon, examine it, put it down. Pick up another crayon, pause, use it. He was reading the labels! Duh! It never even occurred to me to suggest for him to do this, though it probably should have. (Hooray for getting that whole reading thing down).
Our boy acknowledged his weakness. He didn’t whine about it being hard. He didn’t make excuses about how he couldn’t help that he sees things the way he sees them. He didn’t play the victim and protest the way that he was made and wallow in self-defeat. He simply allowed his weakness to become an opportunity to exercise his strength.Our son went to the source– referred to the name that the crayon was designed to be, and did the next right thing in accordance to the truth—regardless of how he saw it. And what a beautiful picture was made.I don’t know about you, but I’m a grown-up and I still struggle with a tendency to elevate my perception and experiences as the standard of truth. Based upon the evidences set forth amidst the racially charged society in which we live, I am certain I am not the only one. Insides bow up against spoken truths when they feel like threats to our intentions, credibility, and value. I get stuck on not wanting to be misunderstood and so choose silence over solidarity. Frustrations arise at the brokenness and blindness of civilization, and I’m grievously overwrought when I realize my own. Peace is touted as a means to villainize the cries of the oppressed, justifying our comfort rather than actually pursuing justice necessary to bring about the genuine peace we claim to seek.The most worthwhile words of advice I have ever received as the white mother of a black son have been those that have directed my eyes to be opened to the full scope of history and culture, to not automatically shut out discomfort as my privilege allows, and to truly, intentionally see. Because no matter how I raise him, my dark brown son is going to grow up to be a dark brown man, walking independently of my white umbrella-shield. Choosing to turn a blind eye to the reality of what’s out there when others’ interactions are often based upon their own perceptions in regard to color does him no benefit, and is in fact a disservice that sets him up to be overcome by shock and awe.In the case of my son’s vision, I would not have taken the steps necessary to help him compensate for his deficiencies in vision if nobody ever told me they existed. He never would have bothered to work through his own inaccuracies if he were never made aware that he wasn’t seeing things quite right. Berating him for his shortcomings would have been absolutely asinine and not at all helpful. But the truth still needed to be lovingly spoken in order for a beneficial change to be made. Here’s the thing: once we see, we can’t unsee. We are responsible for our awareness. It hurts, it’s hard, and it takes a whole lot of grit. But in that striving and ache is exactly where beautiful strength and unity is birthed.
If you'd like to hear more from Rebecca, head over today and pick up her new book! Evie & Alistair: Farmhouse Warriors, now available on Amazon.
Simple And Easy Ways To Get Rid Of Extra Halloween Candy
Ever since Halloween night, my husband and I have been plagued with the same question. Over and over. When we wake up and when we go to bed.Can I have some candy?It doesn't matter that we tell them only after lunch and dinner can they have a piece. They somehow "forget" every time they ask and pretend to be shocked when we remind them of the rules...I didn't know!It's getting so bad that I'm even being woken up by the question! Not to mention it's all three of my boys!It's not like we don't have sweets in the house all year. Grandma and Nanamma bring candy and sweets when they visit and the kids flip. They're super excited while they're here and then they mellow when the visits are over. Typically the sweets last us forever! We put them up in our pantry, where the kids can't see, and they usually leave us alone about it.Halloween candy is a whole new beast.
Make A Few Big Desserts
Take all the chocolate your kids got and freeze it. You can use it to throw in a milkshake or even make gooey cookie bars! This way you use a big chunk for something the whole family can enjoy. Not to mention it helps us all avoid midnight chocolate cravings!Donate Your Candy To A Soldier http://opgrat.wordpress.com/2013/07/18/halloween-candy-for-the-troops/You can donate to Operation Gratitude and they send care packages to troops. You can tell your kids how excited the soldiers will be when they open up a package full of Halloween candy!The holidays are a great time to teach your kids about giving back!
Get A Treat From Your Dentist
A lot of dentist's offices offer an exchange for Halloween candy. You bring in your candy and they will let you switch out your candy for a toothbrush and a few prizes out of their treasure box they keep for patients.
The Candy Fairy
Let your kids indulge for one night and then have them leave their candy out for the candy fairy. When they fall asleep switch it out for a small gift. This way they still get something for all their hard-earned Halloween candy, however, it's without a toothache!
Expert Parent Tips
If you're really feeling snarky, here are a few other ways to unload all the Halloween candy! Not that I've ever done any of these....
The Pantry Monster
When the kids wake up one morning, incessantly begging for candy, go to the pantry and feign complete shock when you see all the candy is gone. Run from cupboard to cupboard looking for the "missing" candy only to come to the sad realization it's gone. This is when you introduce the pantry monster to your kids. The pantry monster did it and you couldn't do anything to stop it.The downside of this method is the pantry monster is a little scary and may end up causing you more of a hassle when they come to your room in the middle of the night....
Steal It!
Instead of taking it all overnight... you can do what my cousin's dad does.. Every time you pass the candy you can take a handful. Put the handful into your own secret candy stash and enjoy.If your kids start to notice they're candy supply dwindling, put the blame on them!Wow, you are eating it fast!What do you do with your extra Halloween candy?
3 Ways Multiracial Families Can Blend Holiday Traditions
The holidays have always been my favorite. My family went above and beyond for them and I knew it meant my family would all get together and we'd have a great time.Now that I have my own little family, I get to share that love with them!I want them to see how much fun it is to make Thanksgiving dinner, decorate for fall, pick the perfect gifts for loved ones, and check off our holiday bucket lists!As my kids have gotten older, I'm starting to see how our multiracial family has put a unique spin on the holidays. We're always looking for ways to blend our cultures into our little family. I want my boys to see how fun it is to figure out what the holidays mean to us.Are you trying to figure out what the holidays mean to your own family? Maybe you're attempting to blend all your traditions together and you need some help? I have a few tips for you that can make blending holiday traditions fun and simple!
Fill your house with decorations that can stay up longer!
Mix Up Your Holiday Menu.
Try Out A New Tradition
Some families can feel pressure to bring in all the traditions they had growing up, but the holidays is a great time to try out something new. Think of a fun new tradition to start for your own family. You don't have to stick to a routine because it's what you've always done.Embrace your own family and put your spin on the holidays!You may even be surprised to find out you've already started one! Maybe you make the same thing ever Christmas morning or you you started making your famous dish for Thanksgiving. Sometimes the best traditions happen without even trying.How Do You Blend Holiday Traditions In Your Multiracial Family?
Biracial Identity: Why I Will Never Call My Kids Indian
While you're pregnant you often wonder what your kids are going look like. I always tried to piece my kid's faces together from pieces of my husband and I and what little glimpses we could see through ultrasounds.The only thing I was ever right on was the massive amount of hair my little boys had. All my heartburn was a dead giveaway on that one so it was an easy guess!However, the moment my eyes met theirs for the first time, I knew it didn't matter how many of mine or my husband's features there were in their little faces.They were perfect.
They were a perfect blend of both of us and I couldn't have loved them any more than I did.
My kids are blessed with two distinct cultures in their lives that are blending together into their own unique culture. I love watching how each of my boys blend cultures differently. They each put their own unique touch on it because they all have different ideas, experiences, and opinions.My kids will have to figure out their own biracial identity for themselves. My husband and I do our best to be there for them and help them to experience both of our cultures. We encourage them to try things and to be brave in everything that they do. 
However, one thing you won't ever see me do is referring to them as solely Indian.
You might think it's funny, but there's more to it than you think.Have you ever heard of the "one-drop rule?" It was a racial classification back in the 19th century that said anyone with African American ancestry was deemed, Black. This means you just needed "one drop" of African American blood. People used this to show any biracial child or adult that they were less than everyone else.Most people think this idea was a thing of the past. Sadly to say, it's far from over. There are so many biracial adults that identify as one piece of their biracial identity.Halley Barry even brought up this rule in her custody battle with her ex. She cited the one-drop rule saying that her daughter is African American. She herself is biracial but identifies as an African American woman. She goes on to say her daughter will one day have to decide who she is much like she did as a child. She decided to identify with one piece of her ethnic background rather than being biracial.We've come so far from the time this rule was first introduced, but it's crazy to see that biracial identities still aren't celebrated like they should be.Some people have referred to my kids as Indian, but I correct them. They aren't just Indian. They are a beautiful blend of Indian and Caucasian culture.
I don't ever want my kids to feel ashamed of their biracial identity.
I want to help them fall in love with everything their culture has to offer instead of falling for this trap that they have to fit into this perfect little race bubble.We need to break open the box for our kids. They don't have to follow what society says and pick a race to identify with. Biracial children and adults get to write in their own answer.Biracial.
It's something to be proud of.
For some, it may show the fight their parents had to go through for their love to be accepted. For others, it may show how love can conquer all distance between one another.My kids are a bit of me and a bit of my husband. Now they get to figure out what they'll take from each side and I'm excited to see what they'll do.
How do you help your kids figure out their biracial identity?
Sweet Potato Parathas
This is a sponsored post for SheSpeaks/Rubbermaid® however all opinions expressed are my own.
I'm not sure about you, but I could live off off veggies. I whip up a dish of roasted veggies just about every night and wow they're delicious! I assumed my family would be the same way, but nope.
They cringe when they see veggies on the dinner table. Over the years, I've had to learn how to get a little creative. I know they need them in their diets, but it gets tricky!
If you know our family at all, you know we love Indian food. As I was trying to decide how I could get a little creative with our veggies, I thought about the perfect fall dish.
Sweet potato parathas.
I whipped up a batch of these boys today and they were gone before my husband could even try one. Can you guess who the culprits were?My boys! They loved them! They're full of sweet potatoes, but in their eyes it was simply Indian bread.They even asked me to whip up more with dinner tonight! I think that's one thing I can happily oblige too!
They're beyond easy to make and you only need a handful of ingredients!I made up a batch in under thirty minutes and I can already tell you these are going to be a new staple our house this Fall!Admit it... Your mouth is watering just looking at the pictures!These are the perfect side to dinner or even a quick afternoon snack. Sneak in some sweet potatoes for the family and enjoy these bad boys!
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Chef Tips And A GIVEAWAY!
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These Rubbermaid Fresh Produce Savers have saved me twice this week already! Their containers are designed with us in mind! They're easy to use and when you're done simply toss them in the dishwasher!Did you really think I'd talk about them and not help you get one of your own? Enter my giveaway today and get a chance to win your own!All you need to do to enter is share this recipe with your friends and comment with one chef tip of your own!
*Based on strawberries in FreshWorks™ containers vs. store packaging. Results may vary depending upon produce and use.*
My Adoption Story: The Two Sides Of Adoption
Today, I want to share my adoption story.
My story begins when I was about eight years old. My entire world paused one morning at a welfare office. My mom, brother, and I were there to pick up food stamps. However, instead of getting what we needed for groceries, I ended up leaving questioning my entire life.It was an accident. The woman helping us was going through the questions she needed to ask my mom. Basic. They were basic questions to her. My mom was half paying attention as she was also trying to keep my brother and I entertained.What's your first name?Candace.How many kids do you have?Two.Do they have the same father?Nothing. My mother froze.The woman asked the question again, but my mother couldn't talk. This is when the woman realized something was happening.My mom answered quietly. Pained.No.I instantly looked up. I had been listening to the questions while I sat there, but hardly paying attention. I heard her answer. At first, I assumed she was lying. Maybe she had to say that so we were able to get food stamps.I started to ask her why she said that, but she put her hand on my shoulder and said later.It was the tone of my mom's voice and the pained look on her face that made the woman run past the rest of the questions. She realized she somehow just uncovered something meant to stay hidden for just a bit longer.I sat there for the rest of our appointment with a dozen questions running through my head. I didn't understand. I couldn't understand why she would need to lie for us. Why was she so sad? What was she going to say when we got to the car?We walked to the car and my mom walked as slow as possible. I now know she was trying to figure out how to possibly have the conversation she was about to have.I quickly sat in the front seat while my mom buckled in my brother into his car seat. When she was finished she sat in her seat, quiet.Mom, why did you say that?She looked me right in the eye and I knew I wasn't going to like the answer. She looked broken.To be honest, I don't remember what she said. I don't remember the words she used. The rest of that moment is a blur. All I remember was finding out I didn't know my biological father.My entire world stopped. We went straight to my grandma's house where my mom fell apart to her sisters and mom. She felt horrible. I sat on the chair crying. I didn't know what to say or what to do.I just hurt. Everything hurt.My grandma came up to me and hugged me. She tried to explain that my mom didn't tell me because she wanted to protect me.At first, I was angry with her. I didn't understand why she would lie to me. Looking back on that moment, I do understand. As a mom you want to do everything in your power to protect your child from the world, that includes the terrible truths sometimes.
Fast-forward two years.
I had dealt with my new reality the best I could. I went through every emotion possible. Anger. Sadness. Confusion.I just didn't understand. I didn't understand why I had to go through this, but my friends around me didn't. They had both parents and I didn't. I was the one sitting around during Father's Day trying to figure out what to do or if I could just stay home from school.Shortly after I turned ten years old, my mom met Tim. They fell for each other right away. He moved to Washington for her and they got married. I told myself I would hate him because I didn't need anyone. Then I met him. He was perfect. He went out of his way to make sure he and I had a relationship. He even wrote me emails at first! I loved that he was making such a big effort to be my friend.The next monumental moment in my life was the day they got married. I was the flower girl. I remember walking down the aisle thanking God for bringing me the father I had cried for so many nights.Our life was beautiful. I had two parents. I started calling him dad right away. I couldn't wait. It felt right. He fit so perfectly into that spot in my life. He never pushed his way in, he let me make the decision on what I wanted him to be in my life.He became my father.I'll never forget the day I walked into his room and asked if he would adopt me. I now know he was waiting and praying for that day to come. I could hardly get the sentence out of my mouth before he started crying.Things were perfect. I felt completely loved by my parents and very blessed in my life.
This is why I was confused why I kept thinking about my biological dad.
I never stopped thinking about him. I had asked my mom questions about him growing up. She answered what she could, but I knew it was a hard conversation.I was careful to talk about him often because I didn't want to hurt my parents. I didn't want my dad to think he wasn't enough for me.After my husband and I got together he helped me to realize I was still curious because regardless of how good my life was, my biological father was a part of me. I started looking for him online. I had secretly done it as a kid, but never found anything.I decided to try one last time while with my aunt in Washington. I searched his name and we looked together. Then it happened. I found him on Facebook.I called my mom and she confirmed it.I don't know how long I sat on the couch trying to get up the courage to message him. I just wanted to know. I wanted to know that he wanted nothing to do with me and let myself move on. However, life rarely happens the way you expect it to.I pressed send. Not long later, I got a response. I was terrified to read it. I didn't know if I could take his harsh words.Then I opened the message. Instead of a man trying to push me away, I found myself reading the words of a man beyond happy to have found his daughter.It turns out he had been looking for me. He had a hard life as a kid and wasn't ready to be responsible for another human being at the time. While he hates that he missed out on my life, he realizes that he wasn't ready to be a father then.It's been a few years since that message.My life has completely changed. Now, I have my adopted father who has been the man I will always see as my father. I also have my biological father who has been able to come into my life as someone I care about very much and am getting to know every day.I don't think I could have been able to let my biological father into my life if my dad hadn't given me his blessing. I called him one night crying. I didn't want to hurt him and I wanted to know what he thought about me meeting him. He not only gave me his blessing but let me know how proud he was that I never stopped looking and was able to meet him.
My adoption story isn't over. It's my life.
I will always be working through different layers of this. I can't wrap it up in a perfect bow. I still struggle with feelings of abandonment and feeling like I'm enough for people. However, I know I'm not the only one walking through my adoption story.There are two sides of adoption. There's the beauty of finding a new family and there's the pain of abandonment. Everyone walks through it differently.If this is you and you're walking through your own adoption story, I have one thing to leave you with. You don't have to feel guilty over what you decide about wanting to meet your birth parents or not.It doesn't mean your adoptive family isn't enough. It simply means you're doing what feels right for you.
What is your adoption story?
Getting Ready For An Indian Wedding
This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #TimeWithAveeno #CollectiveBias
Throughout the last few years, I have attended more Indian events than I can count. It’s where I’ve learned countless little nuggets of wisdom about Indian culture and built relationships with new friends and family. Getting ready to attend an Indian wedding is still a process, but I'm going to share a few tips on what to do and how I use AVEENO® products from Walmart.In Indian families, a wedding isn’t just a wedding. It’s a week long opportunity (longer if it takes place in India) to celebrate the love a couple has for each other and the love their family has for them. The week starts out with a Nalugu. This is a ceremony for the bride and groom. The families make a turmeric paste that they take turns smearing on the couple. The goal behind it started out as a way to lighten the couple's skin and make them glow on their wedding day. Yellow stained turmeric powder will definitely do that! While it sounds foreign to many of us, it truly is a beautiful moment. Family members and friends do it as a sign of love to the couple. Many tear stained faces greet the couple throughout the ceremony and let them know how much they love them. The following days are spent preparing the wedding and making sure all last minute details are finalized. The day of the wedding is similar to an American wedding in that they have a ceremony and reception. The ceremony is different in that there is typically a message from a pastor (full on Sunday morning length) and then the bride receives a necklace from her groom. It's called a mangalasutra and it has a very similar meaning to a wedding ring. I love thinking about all the different things that happen during Indian weddings. It brings up memories of my own wedding and throws me into full blown sentimental mode! My wedding was definitely a blend of American and Indian culture and we did our best to blend customs during the actual ceremonies. Now, we get to attend weddings and see how they decide to do theirs. We've attended a lot of truly Indian weddings and also weddings for interracial couples as well. After all the stress and chaos of putting together our own wedding, we would choose to attend rather than host a wedding any day of the week! Whether you're an "Almost Indian Wife" like me or you're attending for a friend, these are tips anyone can follow. 
Decide What You’re Going To Wear
I am always worried to be over or underdressed at a wedding. It's a concern that bridges cultures. The invitation can specify the dress code, but then you get there and realize you're the only one in formal attire! Or you are going to the wedding of an interracial couple and you don't know if you should wear Indian clothes of American. This happened to me once and I mistakenly asked my hubby what I should wear.Indian clothes.I decided to trust him and ended up the ONLY one in Indian clothes. Well, at least I stood out! I learned my lesson and started calling my sister in law to figure out what I needed to wear to Indian weddings! She taught me to dress to impress. If you're wearing Indian clothes, find the most sparkly and fancy sari you have. There is no such thing as overdressing at an Indian wedding. It helps you to take a big sigh of relief and just go for it. If you're unsure of attire, call someone in the bridal party. They can let you know how traditional the wedding is and whether Indian or American clothes are best.
Freshen Up And Get You Hair Wedding Ready
After you decide on what to wear, it's time to freshen up. Hop in the shower and get a nice little jump start on your day! I love to use AVEENO PURE RENEWAL® Shampoo and Conditioner. Your hair has to stand up to an entire day of wedding customs, dancing, and more!I've made the mistake of using hotel conditioner and ended up a frizzy mess by the end of the night. That's why I started using AVEENO®. It helped my hair to become silky and easy to style. You know you'll end up with an aunty making a comment about your hair and makeup at some point during your evening. There's always something they think you could do better. AVEENO® has your back! They use sulfate-free formulas that make your health look healthy and full of life! They don't leave room for aunty to say one word!Along with a fancy outfit, I love making sure my hair can stand up to the beautiful sari.
Find Out How To Put Everything On
You'd think at almost 30, I would know how to get myself dressed; however, Indian clothes are a whole new ballgame. It's straight up HARD. If you're wearing a lehenga, it's a bit easier. All you have to do is put on a skirt and top. It gets tricky when you decide on wearing a sari. It's by far my favorite because it's so beautiful. The problem is it's miles of fabric with no road map on how to put it on!I've tried to figure it out, but I still need help! Make sure you have someone that can help you put on your outfit if you're still unsure of what to do. I think people typically assume I don't know how to do it, so some aunty typically ends up in my room while I'm getting ready, offering to help me. Then you have the bangles! I swear they're beautiful but they're a death trap. They're tinier than wrists should be, but they expect you to put them on with ease. Or you put them on with a little help from lotion and then you're stuck with them on forever.
Enjoy The Wedding
The last step is easy... Enjoy yourself! Indian weddings are so much fun and after you manage to get ready, it's all a breeze. You get to watch two in love people get married, spend time with friends and family, and dance the night away! At the end of the night, you'll be so exhausted from your amazing evening that you'll be asleep the moment your head hits the pillow.
A Few More Thoughts About AVEENO®
I mentioned how I get ready using AVEENO PURE RENEWAL® Shampoo and Conditioner in the steps above, but I want to share a bit more. I don't just use them when I get ready for the wedding, but every other part of the wedding week! They help get off any turmeric leftover from the nalugu, get shiny and beautiful hair fit for any occasion, and they do it all using their natural formula. They help you get rid of any impurities and renew your hair after every shower. Not to mention they are perfect for sensitive skin and scalps like mine!Head over to your local Walmart and pick up your AVEENO® products today! You’ll find them for a killer deal at Walmart!Click here to download a coupon and save $2.00 on AVEENO® products! Wedding weeks are crazy enough without having to worry about your hair and skin. AVEENO® helps calm the crazy by jumping into action!
Racism Won't Stop If You Stay Quiet
I was twenty-one when I witnessed my first racist encounter. I'm sure it wasn't the first time I'd witnessed racism, but sadly it was the first time it made an impression. It was the first time it was personal.Joel and I were sitting in our car, at a red light. We were talking and hardly noticed the car pull up next to us. It was late at night and just like your momma always taught you, nothing good ever happens at night.My husband says he didn't hear it at first, but I did. They started asking me why I was with a n*****. I couldn't believe it. I was completely baffled. We weren't talking to them and didn't do anything to pick a fight with them. They just started going off.I didn't say anything. I was too shocked. Joel hardly flinched. To this day he doesn't even remember the situation.I don't know what hurts more... remembering the encounter or the fact that my husband has encountered ignorant people so often that our experience blended into the rest for him.It was only a few moments. They drove off before either of us could say anything, but I still remember it almost eight years later.It was a pivotal moment in my life. It opened my eyes to the world of racism that still exists. I had been sheltered from it for years even though so many people out there haven't known a life without racism.
The last two years have also opened people's eyes.
We've seen police officers shooting innocent African Americans.We've seen hateful people drive down innocent men and women during riots.We live in a world where parents have to warn their children about what to do if they encounter police or hateful people. Whether they're African American families, East Indian families, or any other ethnic background other than Caucasians... In the world's eyes, white people don't do the harm so every other race must be to blame.To this day, my husband still encounters racist people. They assume he's middle eastern and flag him at airports for extra security checks. He even has to go as far as shaving before he goes on a trip to try and avoid them.It's not okay.I know many people in the world haven't had to experience the same moments. It's the reason I get people emailing me and asking why I focus so much on race and blending cultures in my blog. They essentially question why I won't raise my kids to see life through a color-blind lens.Do you want to know why?
I teach my kids about both sides of their culture because I want them to know how special they are.
Society teaches children that any race other than caucasian is second-rate.Don't believe me?Why is it that the news never refers to a "white" man or woman, but then you'll see taglines like "black on black crime?" The US is supposed to be full of different cultures and backgrounds.Instead, it's a "melting pot." They want everyone to come together, let go of who they were before they came here, and be like everyone else. That's not good enough for me.I don't want to teach my kids they should be like everyone else. No. They're different. They are a beautiful blend of both mine and my husband's culture. I want them to understand what their biracial identity means to them and how important diversity is.
Racism still exists. It's real and it happens every day.
The excuse of "I didn't know" doesn't work anymore. It's not enough. It's the reason NFL players took a knee during a televised event where they know people all over the US were watching. They wanted to let the world know they're done. They're done going on with life and pretending like racial injustices aren't going on.I don't care if you agree with their methods or not. the fact of that matter is they got people talking.We need to stop arguing on Facebook over how the NFL players did it and think about what we can be doing to stop racism. Everyone has a lot to say right now about the NFL, but then they go quiet when you bring up racism.
Racism will never stop if people remain quiet.
We need to band together and stop the hate. Get off your couch, get off Facebook, and do something. Find a way to stand up.Whether it means using your platform to challenge racism or calling out your neighbor when they start sharing a racist joke.Do something.Racism isn't still around solely because of hateful people. It's also because of the hundreds of thousands of people that stay quiet. The people that overhear racism or watch someone get treated unjustly because of their race. Instead of standing up and stopping it, they stay quiet.Today's the day we let the world know we're done with racism.How are you going to make a change?
Choosing The Best Car Seat For All Your Kids
As a mom, I've had to learn a few things about what it means to make things last. I have three boys and it means everything I buy is times three! I have to buy three sets of dress clothes for holidays, three sets of cleats for sports, three sets of winter jackets, and three sets of car seats.It gets expensive!It's because of this I've learned how to stretch a dollar. I go to the store looking for more than how cute it is. While style is important, dependability is the priority. I look for items I like, but know will last for all three kids.If not, I know I'll end up back at the store for child number two!
One item I've learned quite a bit about over the years is a good quality car seat. The first time I picked up a car seat was terrifying. I was pregnant and had no idea what to look for. Luckily, I had a friend who pulled me under her wing and let me borrow her Graco infant car seat.When he was ready to upgrade, I made a poor decision. I purchased a car seat that was cheap but had nowhere near the level of safety as my very first car seat. I returned it the same day and purchased a new and upgraded Graco car seat.We've been a Graco family ever since that moment. Their car seats are made to last, their car seats are rigorously tested to meet or exceed US FMVSS safety standards, and they are a great deal!
Now that our kids are bigger, we still know Graco is the brand to trust with our child's safety.Our kids love their seats too! They always tell us they like to take naps in their seats because of the cozy headrests. Not to mention, they love that they're big enough to get themselves buckled up! They hop straight in the car, buckle themselves in, and ask if we're there yet...
While it may be easy to buckle up, it's not easy enough for them to unbuckle themselves. Our Graco 4Ever seat straps into our car with the built in seat hooks and gives you the directions you need whether you're using forward facing or rear facing.
When I went on the hunt for our new Graco 4Ever car seat I price checked around my neighborhood. The prices were different everywhere I went. The absolute best deal I found was at Walmart. My favorite thing about Walmart is that you can order their products online! Then you can choose to pick up at the store or have them ship it to your house! Either way you don't have to lug the kids inside, only for them to ask for about a dozen other things!
We had them ship our car seat to our home and it was free 2 day shipping! I'm always up for free shipping!All of this has taught me one thing... Parents need to remember to invest wisely into their kid's necessities. While it may save you a few dollars in the moment, you need to think about how much it will save you in the long run.Buy a car seat that will last!
Avoid Diaper Blowouts With These Foolproof Tips!
This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #MoreHuggiesMoreSavings #CollectiveBias
While I was pregnant with my first son, I tried to prepare for everything. I looked through all the books, asked all of my friends with kids for advice, and got everything I imagined we would need. In my mind, I was already an expert and parenting would be a breeze.Fast forward a few months and my husband and I were sitting on the couch with a newborn, with absolutely no idea what we were doing. Everything was so new. I had been around kids my whole life, but it's completely different when it's your own baby.You're not just watching a baby for a time, you're fully responsible for their whole life. Growing up, your joke is always that everything is your mom's fault.Now, you're the mom!It was in those early days with my little boy that I realized a very big parenting secret. Are you ready?Parents around the world have no idea what they're doing. We all act like we do, but it's a day by day situation. We're sleep deprived and trying to make sure we can offer everything possible to our little ones.Three kids later and there were still things that got through the cracks. Yes, I had figured out quite a bit with each kiddo, but each child is so different.There is one problem all parents face, no matter how seasoned their parenting skills are. Diaper blowouts.
We've all seen them, experienced them, and as a parent you've even dealt with them first hand. I'd love to say they only happened with my first son, but that would be a lie!Today, I'm here to help. I'm here to tell you a few tips handed down to me from veteran parents!
Make Sure Your Child Is Wearing The Right Size Diapers
One of the biggest causes of diaper blowouts is getting the wrong size diapers. If the diapers are too tight or too loose, you're just asking for an explosion of .... well you know.Huggies® has a chart to help parents find the best fit for their little ones. It even tells you how much you save by purchasing diapers in bulk at Sam's Club.
Adjust All Little Boy Parts
This one is for mommas of little boys. Changing boy's diapers has a unique set of challenges for parents. Even if you get the right size diaper, there is a very specific thing you need to do to avoid pee going everywhere.You need to make sure all the little boy parts are facing down. I've made the mistake many times of forgetting and all the sudden pee goes straight up and out of the diaper. Point it down! Trust me.
Don't Fasten The Diaper Too Tight
Some parents try to avoid diaper blowouts by fastening the sides too tight. Instead of helping the situation it makes it much worse. If you do this the diaper doesn't have the ability to catch anything. Instead, it pushes it all out.Fasten it snug, but not too tight. After you fasten it, run your finger underneath the diaper and make sure it fits well. Also, make sure the cuffs of the diaper are all pulled out so it's flush with your babies leg.Last, but not least, buy your diapers in bulk so you don't ever run out! I have a special deal for you too! Sign up for a Sam's Club membership today and get $45 in instant savings for your Huggies purchase if you get 3 participating products!
Huggies For Life!
Fast-forward a few years and my kids are still using Huggies. My oldest is getting near the end of diapers. He currently wears them at night for bed and then big boy underwear during the day. These tips are all the same with Pull-ups! Save yourself some hardships and extra cleaning this week!What tips do you have for avoiding diaper blowouts?
$45 in Instant Savings --> Sam's Club Membership
Head over to link above to find out more information on your savings. You can either print it off and take it in-store to be honored, or fill it out online through the link. Join online now and get a $5 e-gift card!I signed up last night and grabbed all the wipes and Pull-ups I needed for the month! At the checkout I watched my total go down by $45! It's a great deal for parents!Sam's Club knows how busy parents are and they offer in-store pickup! You simply need to order your groceries online, check your app to see when it's ready, and head over and pick it up!No more spending an hour at the store to get everything you need while the kids lose their minds! Make it easy with Sam's Club!
The Secret On Keeping Up With A Chaotic Schedule
Life over the last six years has become unbelievably busy. I went from having one little boy and a semi-quiet home to three boys, two dogs, a revolving door of roommates, and sprinkle in a bit of homeschool and sports.I remember when parents used to tell me to enjoy my time home while I could. While my kids were little, we spent most of our time at home. We didn't have a big need to leave the house often other than for play dates.This year it's all changed. Our quiet little life has turned into complete chaos!
While I still have a good chunk of time at home, it's filled with things to do. We decided to homeschool our two oldest kiddos again this year. My oldest, Liam is 6 years old and his school time is a little more rigid and requires us to get through more every day.Then we have sports... Our once quiet and boring weekends are now FULL of practices and games. Our kids love it and it makes it all worth it, but my husband and I are constantly going to and from the field, carrying everything imaginable on our backs.Someone (we won't name names) also decided to adopt a puppy while her husband was away on a work trip. I used to just have one old dog who loved to sleep all day. Then I brought our new puppy into our lives and home.Wow.She's nonstop.She's our new little toddler who runs around finding new things to get into and chew up every day. I can't turn my head for more than a minute otherwise I find her making my life much more difficult.
Luckily, I know her puppy stage won't last forever. She is such a little sweetheart, chewing aside. She follows the kids around all day and won't ever turn down a good belly rub.All of that to say, our lives have been turned upside down this year. Keeping up has definitely been a challenge.I know many of you have been there. It may not be due to surprise puppies, homeschool, sports, and three boys, but you know the feeling. You know what it's like to get so stressed out you'd rather hide in bed than face it all. This year I'm determined to get a better handle on everything. I don't want to spend my days catching up.Instead, I'm changing things up this year. I've learned a little secret tool to getting back in control of my days and it's something you can do too.
Get On Auto-Pilot.
We all have a handful of things that happen routinely each month. It may be groceries you buy each week, bills that get paid on the same day each month, and so on.Take a few things off your plate by going on auto-pilot. You don't need to wait until your bill is due to pay it. You can get on auto-payments. This way, you know it will get paid on time each month without even having to lift a finger.
Do the same thing with your groceries. One of my favorite things to do is get my dog food through Amazon's subscribe and save program! You can save up to 5% when you purchase your Hill's Science Diet pet food this way! We love getting Hill's Science Diet for our pups. Vets even choose it for their own pets and it's their #1 choice today!Both of my pups eagerly know what's arrived when the delivery guy comes to the door! Their little tails wag and can hardly wait for us to open the package for them!
I know I'm not the only one who's ended up running to the store last minute to pick up dog food because you had no idea you were out. Or because your kids decided to pour it all into the dog's water to make it "easier" for them to eat/drink.I make sure to schedule my dog food deliveries early just in case the kids decide to "help" me out. I'm never without this must have for my dogs.This was also a huge help while we were busy traveling this summer. We were always heading out for different family events and even through in a few vacations. My brother stayed back to watch the dogs and he didn't have to worry about anything!
How do you and your family keep up with your busy life?
Butter Chicken Recipe
I have a secret to tell you. I am completely and one hundred percent obsessed with Indian food. Well, really just food but I have a special love for Indian food.I hadn't tried it before I met my husband and I remember being excited to visit his family's house for the first time to try authentic Indian food. I knew it was a lot of chicken and spices which were both right up my alley.I instantly fell in love with it all.I gleaned all the tips and recipes I could from my hubby's family so I could make it on my own. I wanted to learn it all because my dream would be to have Indian food every single day! Now my kids are just as obsessed and it makes my heart swell up with pride. I love that we've been able to share our love with Indian food to them.Don't worry, I still throw in my family recipes to the mix. Although, somehow Indian spices keep making their way into the pot when I do! I think someone's trying to give me a little hint to spice up my food a bit!
Today's new dish proves to make my whole family happy every time! My friend came over to our house a few weeks ago and whipped this bad boy up! Everyone was begging for seconds and much to her hubby's disappointment, they ended up having nothing to take back for leftovers!It flew off everyone's plates!She has an Almost Indian family of her own and was more than happy to share her recipe with us!The best part of this recipe is just how easy it is to whip up. All you need is some hungry kids, a few ingredients, and empty bellies!
[amd-yrecipe-recipe:29]Like this recipe? Be sure to SHARE it with your friends!
Lessons We Can Learn From Our Kids
Do you ever find yourself sitting on the couch, avoiding all of your responsibilities, and watching Captain Underpants with your kids for the fifth time?Oh, just me?I sit there and think about all the things I need to get done, but it doesn't urge me off the couch. If anything I sink in deeper and deeper with every thought. Not to mention, cuddles from my little boys can seriously cure just about anything.They're so carefree and I love watching them. The smallest things make them happy. Even a silly movie about a superhero in underpants! I need to take a few lessons from them on how to let go of the stress and just enjoy my day.
Sometimes You Just Need A Hug To Make It All Better
You really don't know the power of a hug until you have kids. Something catastrophic can happen to one of them (like a tiny scrape on the knee.... catastrophic) and they can start looking their minds. Right when you think they may never calm down, you walk over and give them a tight hug. You feel them start to relax in your arms and they know everything is going to be okay.I think we as adults need hugs just as bad. Life can turn into complete chaos around us and sometimes a hug is the answer. Even at almost 30, a hug from my mom feels just as good.
Focus On The Task At Hand
As much as we'd all love for our kids to be able to do more than one thing at a time, it just doesn't happen. If they sit down to do homework, their focus will be completely lost the moment they start thinking about dinner. Or they start to go upstairs to grab something like you've asked them to do and forget everything when they see a toy they left on the top stair.Even though it drives us crazy, they may have a point. Sometimes, we have to turn our brains down and just focus on one thing at a time. Maybe it's an evening with your kids and you know you need to set your phone down. Or maybe it's focusing all of your attention onto your spouse while on a date rather than listing off your to do list in your head.
It's Okay To Take A Break
My kids are constantly taking breaks throughout their extremely "difficult" days. Soccer is the perfect example. My son will be on the field for all of two minutes before he desperately needs a Gatorade break. In his mind, he's worked as long as he can and now he needs a little r and r.How often do we give ourselves breaks? We look at the to do list in front of us and tell ourselves there's no way we can justify a break. Take a little note from your kids and give yourself a break just because. You work your tail off every day and you don't need an excuse to kick your feet up for a minute or 30!
Not Everything Is As Important As You Think
There have been so many times I sit stressed out at my desk, only to have one of my kids come up to me and ask why I don't just stop. "Momma, why can't you just stop if it's making you so mad?" I always shrug it off because what do they know... right...?As adults, we tend to think everything is life and death. We struggle with the stress and uncertainty of life, but at the end of the day it's okay. Not everything is as big of a deal as we think. The world will keep turning if we don't fold all the laundry before bed. Your kids will survive if they eat mac n cheese for dinner... again.
A Bit Of Encouragement Goes A Long Way
As a homeschool mom, I've seen how important encouragement is for my boys. They truly thrive on it. When they're working on something difficult they're quick to give up unless I stand behind them acting as their cheerleader!We all need a bit of encouragement in our lives. It's been driven into our heads just how hard we need to be on ourselves. Instead, we should take a moment to pat ourselves on the back. Think about all the successes we've had! Fill your life with people that will do the same thing. If we thrived on encouragement as a child, think about how important it is in your life currently!What is one lesson your kids have taught you?
5 Reasons Your In-Laws Are All Up In Your Business
During your relationship, you may start to notice just how involved your in-laws or future in-laws become. You may not have come from a family who is overly involved in each other's lives so it's a new concept for you.You try to be polite and smile but in the back of your mind, you're wondering when it's going to stop. You even convince yourself...My in-laws will back off a bit when we get married...One day, they'll give us a bit more room to breathe.When they see I'm here for good, they'll relax.Then the happy and joyous day comes.. You get married and you tell yourself, you're free. Now, it's all going to calm down and you can finally be a private couple. You don't have to worry about the overly involved in-laws and how it's just you two.The days start to roll by, then weeks, and maybe months.You sit down and think #&$&. It didn't stop. Now, you're married into it and have a glimpse into a future of living with critical and bossy relatives.Before you hide under your blankets and start yelling, think about something with me. Let's take a deeper look into the situation and find out whey they're like this.What causes them to jump into your business every time?What makes them feel like they can share advice for every single fight you have?
# 5 Reasons Your In-Laws Are All In Your Business
They Care About You
At the end of the day, they like you. Okay, they may be starting to like you, but they like your partner. They want you guys to be happy together and they may even be worried you still need them.As a mom, it's your mother in law's job to take care of her kid. Now you and her kid are together, starting your own family. She's trying to figure out what she can do for you as a couple and how she can make you two to be happy and successful.
They Want You To Make The Best Decisions
They may worry you still don't know exactly what you're doing. I often look at my kids, wondering how they'll ever survive without me! Even though you're both adults, the thoughts still cross their minds.They worry you'll make the wrong decision so they jump in and "gently shove" you towards what they believe is the right choice.
Letting Go Is Harder Than You Think
Your in-laws were responsible for your partner for over a decade. They were there for every snotty nose, coughing spell, late night, doctor visit, and tough choices. Now, they're expected to sit back while life happens all around their kid.They probably know they should sit back and let you guys make your own choices, but it's not as easy as you think.
Family Expectations Are Different
This is where things really get crazy. In your family, starting your own family may mean everyone else steps back. However, it may not be the same in your spouse's family. In many families outside of the US, getting married doesn't mean parents are now out of the equation.It means you've been added into their equation. Now instead of a couple living their lives on their own, you're a family doing things together.
They Want A Special Place In Your Lives
Beyond the cultural differences you may be facing, in-laws just want to know they have a special place in your lives. They may jump in every time they think you need them just to remind you how vital they are.It's scary when things change.Starting your own family means their place in your life transitions and they're trying to figure it out with you.
One Thing You Can Do...
Give your in-laws a bit of a break. Try to see it from their positions. It's not easy when life and roles change.However, for the couple that's been going through this for YEARS... Try to create an open dialogue with your in-laws. Find areas in your life they are needed or could help you with.Let them know they are needed and have a special place in your lives. It helps them to feel validated and also helps to strengthen your relationship with them. They don't want to feel like you're always trying to get rid of them. They do notice.Help then find out where they belong in your new family.
Interracial Couples: My In-Laws Won't Accept Me
Do you remember the first few months of your relationship? It was exciting!Everything was new.You were just getting to know your partner and all the feelings you were experiencing for each other were new. You spent all of your time together because you wanted to get to know what made them tick. You wanted to know what it was about them that was making you fall so hard.As your relationship progressed, it changed from living in your own little world together, to branching out. Now, it was time to meet his friends, his loved ones, and of course... his parents.You wanted nothing more than for them to love you because deep down you knew your relationship would last. However, your fears started to make their way to the surface. You started to wonder what they would think about you.Would they love you?
Would they accept you into their family?
We've all experienced this part differently. Some of you have been welcomed in happily and with open arms. Sadly some of you have experienced something much different, much more painful.Instead of feeling completely loved by your new family, you may have faced a harsh reality of being unaccepted. You spent your time worrying about the impression you would make, but they wouldn't even let you get there.They wouldn't give you a chance.What do you do if your new in-laws won't even give you an opportunity to make a bad impression?I've talked to many couples who are facing this situation. Some of them are facing in-laws who won't even talk to them, some partners won't even introduce them because they "know" what their parents will say, some face hostility at every family get together, and sadly they all hurt.
Every one of these situations makes someone feel inadequate.
If this is you, you know the feeling very well. You started off your relationship feeling madly in love and now you wonder if you're enough.Are you enough for him and his family?Should you keep trying?Should you let the relationship go and stop trying?You may think you know exactly what you would do, but you never know. The world tells you to fight for love, to stand up against all odds to hold onto it.Sadly, insecurities are painful. It's not as easy as ignoring it or letting it roll off. If this is you, I have one thing to tell you.You are enough.You are more than enough and love is worth fighting for.Some people get stuck completely stuck in old ideas. They think a relationship has to be between two people who look and behave the same. As a woman who's in an interracial relationship I know, that's not true.
Love comes in all shapes and sizes.
Don't stop fighting. As a couple, you need to hold onto each other for strength and keep walking forward. Don't let someone else tell you who you should love.Your in-laws have a choice. They can accept you for who you are and how happy you've made their child or they can choose to not be a part of your life. It's on them. You can't change them or make them think anything they don't want to and that's okay.You are making a difference. You're showing other interracial couples out there that it's worth the fight. The Loving's taught all of us what that fight can accomplish.We have an opportunity to fight fiercely for change so our kids have more opportunities than we did.Be the change you hope to see in the world. Don't give up.
Am I A Bad Parent If My Child Chooses One Culture Over The Other?
As parents of multicultural or biracial kids, we have a lot of pressure on our shoulders.We want to make sure our kids understand everything they need to know about each culture in their family and to somehow balance it perfectly.We don't want anyone to think we're pushing our culture above our partner's so we're constantly in a balancing act.Then, the day comes... You thought you were doing a good job of blending cultures equally. You've been doing your best, but then you notice something.You start to realize your child is leaning towards one culture. Instead of trying to balance cultures in their own life, they're starting to identify with one over the other.Maybe you notice it because they start to say they're Indian rather than Indian and (blank)...Maybe they don't want to practice the customs of one culture.As a mom, one of my first reactions to this is that I'm not doing my job. I become frantic worrying about what I've done wrong.Did I not show them the beauty of both cultures?Did I subconsciously push one harder than the other?Was I not focusing on cultures at all?
I have three kids and they've all embraced their multiracial culture differently. At first, it was easy. They were little and frankly didn't have a choice in it all. They were just there in different situations where their culture was presented to them. As they've gotten older, I'm starting to see that they're beginning to decide for themselves.I've always said I want my kids to experience both cultures in their lives and blend them how they feel best. What if how they feel best isn't balanced?I have one child that would move to India and let go of their Western culture in a snap. Okay.. maybe they would smuggle in an iPad on their trip but they love their Indian side. They love learning Telugu, learning new customs, and the FOOD!Then I have my "Indian child." The child everyone says looks the most Indian out of their brothers. He's up for anything! Even though he's little, I can see he likes to blend. He doesn't want to leave anything out.Let's not forget my son who wants the spice from his Indian side and that's about it... He won't touch Indian food with his hands or listen to just about anything.Three kids and three completely different ways to blend cultures.
The perfectionist and worrier in me says that I'm doing something wrong. I wonder if I should start pushing them to embrace both sides of their unique culture, but then I see their little faces. They're happy. They aren't worried about this impossible balancing act. They simply love their family (Indian and Caucasian), themselves, and their little biracial lives.Society pushes this idea of a perfect balance onto parents, telling us we're lacking something if it's not 50/50. However, I think just about every parent out there has realized perfection is impossible to attain. As much as we'd all love it, nothing is perfect. We can parent perfectly and why would we teach our kids to push themselves to attain the impossible?At the end of the day, I simply want my kids to embrace who they are and be open to new experiences. I want them to see the amazing lessons both cultures can teach them and find a way to blend them that makes them happy.
Chicken Kofta Curry Recipe
Are you looking for a quick and simple recipe? Need a dish to make a head of time during a busy week? Chicken Kofta Meatball Curry is just what you've been looking for! It's a delicious fusion of flavors and kid friendly!
I don't know about you guys, but finding dishes that please all five of us in my family is TOUGH. Everyone has different preferences and like to make dinner prep a real pain!I'm sure you can all relate to this one!Kids make it tricky to find recipes everyone likes. Not to mention you may have a picky hubby too!Over the years, I've been able to find the dishes that work well for everyone. Basically, if it's Indian food everyone eats dinner with a smile on their face. We're all obsessed with Indian food so I can't complain!It's made me branch out lately from my normal dishes. I've mastered a handful of Indian dishes over the last eight years, but now it's time to be a little more creative and try out some new dishes!Today's new dish is one that I've had before at a friends house. They whipped it up and I instantly started drooling. No shame at all because you're about to see just how good it is!
Chicken Kofta Meatball Curry.Yum! They aren't your average meatballs. Oh no. They're meatballs with a killer twist swimming in a tasty coconut milk sauce.One of my favorite parts of this dish is that you can double your batch and freeze part of it. It freezes extremely well and it's perfect for busy school or work nights!
[amd-yrecipe-recipe:27]
Masala Chai Recipe | Authentic Spiced Tea
Over the years, I've learned the importance of masala chai tea. It's not just a drink in Indian families. It's the cure all for every illness, broken heart, poor relationship, and not to mention the the perfect fall drink.I didn't realize a non-alcoholic drink could be so heavenly!
As my husband and I have attended dozens of Indian get to togethers, we both picked up on one common theme. It doesn't matter who's house you're at, they will always have a warm cup of masala chai tea waiting for you. It doesn't matter if they know you or not (or if they even like you for that matter) they will always have it waiting for their guests.My husband grew up with masala chai so he didn't realize how important it was until I started asking if every single Indian was obsessed with chai.Masala chai is an unspoken rule in Indian homes.It's one of the first things you learn to make because you can't survive without it. After enjoying my first cup, I understand why. It's a simple yet fragrant drink. There are so many warm spices in every cup and I love watching how it brings families together.
[amd-yrecipe-recipe:26]
Establishing Personal Space In A Multiracial Family
Have you ever experienced a moment of extreme personal space invasion? You’re standing in line at the bank and there's someone in front of you and behind you. While you leave a considerable amount of space in front of you, the person behind you keeps inching forward. Then they get so close, you can feel them breathing on your neck. You compensate by moving forward, but then you’re then invading the space of the person in front of you. They turn around and look at you.It’s not my fault!My husband experienced this in India a few years back. He was raised in the US but he's spent a few years living in India. He was sent to live there with his grandparents as a toddler and visited every few years as he was older. As much as he remembers how it is there, it always takes time to re-acclimate.There are over one billion people living in India...That’s right. Over one billion! With so many people, let’s just say personal space isn’t high on their list of concerns. My husband told me while he was in the city, people were constantly right next to him. They would get close enough that he would end up bumping elbows every five seconds. Instead of realizing they were too close, they seemed oblivious.He also told me he was always getting hugged and kissed by all of the aunties and uncles he met. Whether he knew them or not, everyone was very affectionate. This goes hand and hand with a lack of concern for personal space. It’s not that they don’t understand personal space, it just doesn’t bother them. They’re comfortable being close to each other because that’s what they’ve always known.This is one of many reasons my son Liam is born for Indian culture. He would happily fit into the streets of India, loving every time he bumps into a stranger.
However, my son Levi is the complete opposite. He loves physical affection from his daddy and me, but other people are a different story. Everyone knows he's picky on who he decides to hug and kiss. He even has a Troll's blanket that says "No Hugs," just in case he needs to reference it to people!Levi's in a tricky position.As a part of our little multiracial family, he's a part of a culture that expects physical affection and a side that's not about it.Deep down he loves being hugged and squeezed by people that love him, it just has to be on his own time. My husband and I don't ever want to force him to show physical affection to anyone, but we can see the struggle he goes through when he's faced with it.
This is one of many moments like this he's going to face. As a biracial child, he's going to be at these little intersections where both of his cultures tell him to do something else. At the end of the day, I don't want him to stress out over which culture he has to choose to listen to. I want him to listen to his own heart and find out what's right for him.His daddy and I will love him regardless of what he chooses. Biracial children have a lot of pressure on their shoulders and I want him to know we love him for who he is, not which culture he identifies with more.
10 Easy Steps To Cut A Whole Chicken
Chicken is a huge staple in our house. We use it in chicken curry, chicken noodle soup, chicken tikka masala, chicken masala, fajitas, chicken parmesan, and so much more. It can definitely add up in our grocery bill. One way we save every month is by buying whole chickens rather than pre-cut meats.Cutting up a whole chicken can be extremely intimidating! I know it was for me! Well, I'm here to help you. Here is a step by step guide for cutting a whole chicken.
Step One
Rinse off chicken with water. Pat dry. Grab a pair of sharp cooking scissors, cutting board, and two bowls. One bowl will be for waste and one is for chicken meat.
Step Two
Take the skin off the chicken. The easiest way to do this is start breast side up and put your fingers under the skin. Slowly pull it away from the meat. The goal here is to NOT rip the skin. It is much easier to take it off if it's in one piece. Start at the breasts, then move to the wings, then the lower half of the body, and end with the legs.If it does break, you can use a paper towel to hold it better.
Step Three
This step helped me to handle the chicken better. I broke it in half. All you have to do for this is turn it, breast side down, find the middle, and break by pushing in.
Step Four
In order to cut around the bones all you have to do is find the joints (where the bones connect) Bend the piece back and forth and you can feel where they connect. Cut right in the middle and it's super easy. Here, we are starting to cut the wings.
Step Five
Now find the second joint and cut.
Step Six
The neck bone is easy to spot. Smack dab in the middle here. Now, cut down the neck on both sides. You will be cutting small bones here, but it will be easy. You can use the neck bone for stocks.
Step Seven
You have a bit of preference that comes in for this step. If you like bone in chicken, cut it in half and you're good to go.
Step Eight
If you don't like the bones, first cut out the wish bone shown here. Then cut out the rest of the small bones under the breast.
Step Nine
Find the joint and cut the chicken legs. This part is easy enough to tear off as well.
Step Ten
This is the last bit of the chicken. There are a lot of small and large bones so be sure to feel and get them all out. I cut around and pulled off as much meat as I could.
Ta-da! Now, that wasn't as hard as you thought, was it? Once you do it the first time, it becomes easier each time.A few extra tips....
- Make sure you feel through to find any little shards of bone. I like to give mine and extra rinse at the end just to be sure.
- Hold onto the bones to make a delicious chicken stock.
- Try making a dish with the large bones in and see how much of a difference it makes.