Raising Young Men In A Time Of Trump And #MeToo
I'll never forget the moment I held all three of my little boys for the first time. Staring at their beautiful little faces wondering how in the world they could be mind.My boys.Six years later and I still find myself staring at them in the same way. Even after a long day of tantrums, fighting, wild antics, and all. Those wild little boys are mine.When I go to sleep at night, I find myself praying that their dad and I can raise them to be the kind of men this world needs.Men that know the importance of chivalry.Men that always strive to make the world a better place.Men that take care of their family and make them feel safe.Men that look out for people around them.Men that don't contribute to a #MeToo environment but stand alongside others knowing it's time for a change.It's a lot of responsibility to raise young men, especially the men you know they should be. It means we as their mothers have to fight hard now. We need to take every opportunity we can to teach them and surround them with men that lead by example.We have to stand up and fight against the negative examples of men that reflect the very disease in our society that leads to a time of #MeToo.
How can we raise young men with integrity when Trump is the most powerful leader in their country?
He stands for everything I don't want my kids to be. Regardless of your thoughts on politics, he's known for sexualizing women, joking about assaulting them, racist remarks, and promoting violence.He's undoing years of progress made in our country over the last hundred years.As a leader, our kids look up to him. They learn from his actions and words. Yes, even his toxic Twitter account where teens spend most of their time.So what can we do? Are we doomed to ending up with kids like the leader of our very own country?No. Hell no.
It's our job to teach our boys to be set apart.
They don't need to conform to the standard of men society has deemed acceptable. Our boys need to rise above be better.Every mother out there needs to challenge their kids daily. Raise the bar for them.Expect them to be chivalrous and hold doors open for people.Expect them to protect women rather than take advantage.Expect them to behave like young men with integrity and they will rise to the challenge.The time is now. We need to step up and challenge toxic masculinity at every step so our young boys can be the beginning of change. I refuse to raise my boys in the shadow of this example. They need to break through every bad example, every suggestion from our society, and SHINE.They need to learn to be the very examples we hope they find in their lives.
Ways To Simplify The School Week
I’m only a few months into a child at public school and I’m already feeling how crazy it all gets. Our homeschool schedule was completely different. We would wake up when we felt like starting our day, enjoy a good breakfast together, and ease into our school work. Then we were done by lunchtime and ready to have family and friend time!Public school is a whole different ballgame.Bedtime becomes life or death. If my kids don’t lay their heads on their pillow by 7 pm I know the following morning will be horrible. The next morning I have to get the kids up by 6 am, help them put their clothes on while half awake, and then leave the house by 6:45 am.Then you have the drop-off line.. The dreadful and infinitely long drop-off line. I typically spend our time waiting on my Instagram stories, complaining about how long it’s taking.By the time I make it back home, I’m completely exhausted but too wired to fall back asleep. Not to mention my younger two kids are wide awake waiting for their days to begin.I don’t know how all of you have survived it for so long! I count down until the weekends so I can get a bit of extra sleep and sanity. Only to find out my kid's body clocks won’t even let them sleep in!This is exactly why I started asking for advice from my momma friends about one day into our public school adventure. Here are all of the tips they have that help them make it through school mornings with a bit of sanity!
Breakfast Prep
Prepare your breakfast the weekend or night before. We don’t always have time for the kids to sit down at the table and enjoy a bowl of cereal. Sometimes, it’s simply a grab and go morning.Okay, most mornings are grab and go.I like to make hard boiled eggs, masala egg cups, smoothies, homemade granola bars, and samosa hand pies.The more that you can prep beforehand, the less you will need to do on school mornings.
Have Your Child Lay Everything Out The Night Before
Help your child pick out their clothes and school supplies out the night before. This way all they need to do when they wake up is put their clothes on. They don’t have to take the time to stress out over what they’re going to wear. They can simply roll out of bed and get dressed.On their way out the door, they can even grab their backpacks and lunches. No more of the whole looking for the notebook they misplaced the night before. Do all the handwork the night before when you’re not in a time crunch.
Keep The TV Off In The Mornings
If your kids are anything like mine, it can be incredibly hard to pull your kids away from their favorite show. Instead, you can turn off the TV and turn up the music. We have a few playlists that the kids have created and they choose our which ones they want to listen to for that morning. It helps get them moving, but it’s also easy to turn off when we’re done. Or you can even transition it to the car and listen to it on the way to school!
Stick To A Routine
Find a routine that works best for everyone and stick to it. This helps promote independence for your kids because they know exactly what they should be doing. It will be tricky at first because they’ll try to get out of it or pretend they can’t remember what they were supposed to be doing.Once they see your morning routine isn’t going anywhere, they’ll start to do it on their own!
Reward Your Kids For A Good Week
I am a big fan of positive reinforcement. Okay. Okay. I’m a big fan of bribery! I find little ways to reward my kids for good behavior and it helps! Did your kids have a good week? Were they getting ready quickly or did you find this week better than last week?
Reward them!
Let them know you’re proud of their hard work in the mornings and find a way to show them. It can be a special breakfast in the morning, an early trip to Starbucks, or take them to the movie over the weekend. It doesn’t have to be big, just let them know you’ve noticed their hard work.
What are you tips for school mornings?
Whole 30 With A South Asian Flair
One thing I’ve learned from Indian culture is the importance of Indian food. It’s the center of everything. If you go to an event, you already know they’re going to feed you. Not just feed you, but stuff you full of delicious food.Maybe it’s one of the reasons I keep getting pregnant. I have the perfect excuse to let them load up my plate until their hearts are content.It’s given me a new love for food. I love making food for people in my life and seeing that look on their face when it’s turned out perfectly.Or when my husband say’s I make the best chicken wings in the world (sorry Aunt Ca)!It’s become a passion to find and create new tasty recipes. My husband even joins in the fun and has a few new signature dishes our whole family begs for.
Our family loves food.
My four year old has even developed his own little passion for it. He tells us every day that he’s going to become a chef and needs to help us cook for practice.This year I promised him he could start helping me cook more. I want to encourage his passion for cooking and I love the quality time it gives us.However, there is a little problem. This year I also promised myself I would help my family to become healthier together. I promised we would make better food choices and find ways to make delicious healthy food.
My husband is convinced there is no such thing as delicious healthy food!
This is exactly why I was excited when my aunt told me about a 60 Day Challenge our gym was about to have.It’s a challenge to lose weight and get healthy together with a team. In the beginning, you detox your body of all the toxins and unhealthy foods by doing a Whole 30 diet. Then you start to add back in certain foods to see what your body can handle and can’t. It helps you find the perfect foods and diet to continue with after the program. It’s not meant to be a quick fix but a lifestyle change.So… How can this work for a family who loves food? How can we all fulfill our passion for making delicious food all while beginning a new healthy lifestyle?
Sounds like another challenge doesn’t it!?
The good thing is my husband and I like a good challenge. Our program starts February 10th and we have the next two months to show ourselves and all of you that healthy food can be good!What about the kids? You may be thinking the hardest ones to get on board would be the kids, but they love healthy food. They would eat salads and Brussel sprouts all day long if they could.The hard one to convince was my hubby! All you need to do is glance at our plates to see the difference. I pile my plate up with veggies and he gets two or three pieces. Just enough to show the kids he ate it. My plate, on the other hand, is all veggies and a bit of protein.He heard about the program and was skeptical until I said they chose a winner at the end who made the biggest transformation and they could win $1000.Done deal.My husband may be scared of healthy food, but he loves competitions. It’s the best motivator he could find to jump start our healthy lifestyle.Now comes the hard part. I have to show my family how good healthy food really can be!I hope you guys will have fun following us along on our family’s journey. We will give you updates each week to let you see how we do.
Here’s a look at what the first two weeks will look like for us.
Our kids will only be doing part of the Whole 30 with us. My plan for them is to get rid of the junk food, but they’ll still eat bread, beans, and some dairy. I mainly want them to try and fill up on meat and veggies rather than all the fillers.For the first two weeks, Joel and I will eliminate dairy, grains (hubby is still crying over no rice), alcohol, legumes, added sugar, processed food, and any other junk food.Our diets will stick to this schedule as much as we can —> protein shake, snack, salad, snack, high protein meal.We will also be working out 5-6 days a week and then having a day to give our bodies a break. Our gym has some fun classes so we will most likely do those each day. I work better with classes rather than on my own because it’s easier to keep up with other people than figure it out on my own.So far, I’ve been doing yoga and a cycle class. Joel even did yoga with me! He kept giving me “the look” for the first 20 minutes thinking I tricked him into a girl’s class. Then he started sweating and realizing how intense yoga is!Only a few more days until we start and I’m excited to see how it all goes! Keep an eye out for yummy recipes and updates!
My Family's Journey With Essential Oils + Our Favorite Blends
*I am a member of Young Living and receive a small commission on sales. All opinions expressed are my own.*
I’ve never considered myself a crunchy mom. In fact, I didn’t even know what that term meant until I moved to the Pacific Northwest. It was there I was introduced to a world of healthy moms full of vegan, dairy free, organic, sugar-free everything.I thought it was silly to waste all that time and continued on with my sugary coffee and donuts.Then my son had his first febrile seizure. Then my husband and I entered into a crazy season in our family’s life. It was also when I realized a crunchy life really wasn’t so crazy after all. It simply meant moms out there were doing anything in their power to make sure their kids were healthy and happy.I started looking into everything I could. I paid attention to what was in the food I purchased, started making things homemade when I could, and I was introduced to essential oils. I needed to find natural ways to boost my kid’s immune systems so they didn’t pass things along to Luke and cause him to have another seizure.A few years later and we’re still using essential oils. I love how easy they are to use and it’s become a part of our sick routine.The first sign of a cough or a fever and we immediately start diffusing oils, rub oils on our kids back, and start taking them in our water as well.We definitely saw improvements in our health overall. Not to mention, if you’re a candle junky like me, you love having your house smell fresh all the time. It’s exactly why my diffuser has become my best friend.
*I use Young Living Oils in my house so everything you see below is using their products. Also, I am NOT A DOCTOR. These are things we do when our kids get sick and merely a suggestion.*
My Go To Diffuser Blends
Wake Momma Up ( 3 Drops of Lemon + 3 Drops of Peppermint)Sick Days (3 Drops of Purification + 3 Drops Thieves + 2 Drops Lemon)Yucky Smells (3 Drops of Purification)Homework Time (2 Drops of Lavender + 2 Drops of Frankincense + 2 Drops of Stress Away)Bed Time (3 Drops of Lavender)
Our Sick Routine
FeversWe filled a roller bottle with coconut oil and 12 drops of peppermint oil. When our kids get a fever we roll it on their spine. It naturally cools your kid’s bodies.Tummy AcheMix a drop of Digize and coconut oil and rub it on their belly. Young Living also has a kid version of the Digize and that works well too.EczemaMix 2 drops of lavender and coconut oil and rub it on the affected area. It really helps my kids feel better. My kids have mild eczema, but it works for them and the coconut oil is very moisturizing.Don’t Get Sick!Try to stay healthy this season by putting a drop of Thieves oil on your feet in the morning. It’s supposed to help boost your immune system.If you're interested in trying it out for yourself, head over and pick up a starter kit. It has all the beginner oils you'll need to get your family healthy this season! Plus, if you sign up with me I can help you along the way!
Click here to sign up!
Fun Ways To Introduce Your Kids To New Foods
This post is sponsored by Happy Family. All opinions are my own.
Moms around the world know how tricky it can be to convince their kids to try new foods.You spend all day in the kitchen only for your kids to look at it with disgust and act like it's radioactive. They don't care how long it took you to make, they just see new and scary.What's a mom to do?You need to find a way to get through to your picky eaters and show them how fun and adventurous it can be to try new things.
Make It Fun
Make new time a big game when you introduce something new. Most of your kid's reluctance to trying anything new is the fear behind it. They don't know what it's going to taste like and they're worried it will be as disgusting as they assume it is.Turn their spoon into a train, make silly voices each time it gets close to their mouth, and just make the whole thing a fun experience.
Start With It
Trying to get your kids to eat a new food on a full stomach is just asking for problems. Instead, you can limit snacks right before a meal. Then offer up the new dish as the first bite when they're hungry enough to give it a chance.
Pair It With Something They Love
Knowing your kids may struggle with an "adventurous dish" aka anything new... take it slow. Don't offer it up as the only option. Instead, serve it with things they like. You can make macaroni and cheese for lunch and have a side of peas. Then their favorite dish becomes the reward!
Try Different Recipes
Don't give up if your kids have tried a new dish and decide they don't like it. It may not be the ingredients at all but how it's made. Next time you whip it up, try a new recipe. Then you can find the perfect recipe to turn a new food into a favorite food.
Encourage Their Successes!
Trying something new is scary for kids. Go crazy and encourage them every time they go out of their comfort zone and try something. They will be much more willing when they see how exciting it can be!
Start Young
If you want your kids to be open to trying new things, start them young. Show them how fun it can be while they're little!All three of my kids have proven to be picky eaters over the years. However, we're always trying out new things. One day it may be fish curry and the next could be taco salad. I want it all to be fun and a good experience for my kids.This is why I love Happy Family products! Their goal is to make sure infants and toddlers have a positive experience when trying new foods. You can find their products at Target! They just launched a new whole milk yogurt line and the combinations are delicious! They pair ingredients like sweet potatoes with kid-friendly flavors like bananas!Not to mention they use organic ingredients and their yogurt pouches have live cultures in them! This means they're not only tasty but healthy!
How do you get your kids to eat new things?
Turmeric Flu Buster Smoothie
If you've been online or watched any tv lately you've heard about this crazy flu season. I typically ignored it all because my kids were homeschooled. We were around a lot of the same kids every day and they all knew about Luke's seizures.If one of their kids was sick, they'd avoid us like the plague!This year things are a bit different. My oldest is in public school aka the breeding ground for any and all germs. He has been sick more this year than in his entire life!I'm not surprised seeing as the last time I went there everyone was sniffling and sneezing. I've become a germ-obsessed mother and I used to pride myself on being so laid back.Germs? Pfft.I have three kids. My motto was if it doesn't kill them, it makes them stronger. Then we experienced our first real flu season. Wow.Now I'm the mom chasing after my kids with hand sanitizer!I've definitely become that mom. I do everything in my power to try and keep my kids from getting sick. My favorite way to keep my kids healthy is through tasty smoothies.
I can hide so many healthy ingredients in my family's smoothies and they'd never guess they were in there!Our new afternoon tradition is to talk about our day over a yummy turmeric flu buster smoothie. My kids are convinced they're drinking a mango lassi smoothie and have no idea what this little smoothie is doing to their body.Between the turmeric full of antioxidants and the vitamin c rich fruit, it's an immune system's dream treat!
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Save For Later
Surviving Flu Season
Winter has always been tricky for families. It's the time you attempt to hide your kids from the germs that start circulating, usually to no avail. Especially for our family! We move around so often that we tend to be up against brand new bugs every winter.This year the nasty flu bug found our family and came in for the kill. It went through all of us once and then came back around for the second time.One by one all three kids have gone down.I feel terrible for them. Especially as Liam comes down in the middle of the night burning up, trying not to throw up. The momma in me wants to fix it. I want to make him feel better so he doesn't have to be sick anymore. I hate seeing that look in his eyes.Two weeks into flu season and I find my hubby and I sitting there exhausted. We've been up all house of the night, gone through bottles of Tylenol, washed their sheets dozens of times, and made countless bowls of Top Ramen.
Stock Each Room With Supplies
There's nothing worse than waking up to a feverish child in the middle of the night and not being able to find the fever medicine... You try looking everywhere for it, but you have an emotional kid who just wants you to hold him.Save yourself the trouble and make sure each bedroom is stocked with Tylenol, water, and a thermometer. Then you'll have everything you need at your fingertips. Whether it's 3 am or 2 in the afternoon, you're ready and prepared.
Keep Essential Oils/Cleaning Supplies On Hand
When your kids are sick, they're probably coughing over every surface in your home. If you're really lucky they'll even cough on your face like mine do. Somehow. Every time.Cleaning materials are a must! Head over to the store at the first sign of a sick bug and grab all the cleaning supplies you may need. Then you'll have them afterward when your kiddos are feeling better. Flu season is much longer than any of us would like so keep that house as germ-free as possible.
Stick To A Simple Schedule
As a parent, schedules have become a big part of your life. They tell you where you're supposed to be and what you need to do every day. When your kids get sick you may be tempted to keep remnants of your schedule. The problem is it only leads to more stress. Let your kids sleep as much as possible and put everything on hold until they start to feel better.
Figure Out Who's On Call
Everything is harder at night and it's typically the exact moment your sick kids need you the most. Talk to your partner before you go to sleep and figure out who's going to be on call for the night. Who's the one who will get up and give them medicine or will it be both of you? No more fighting over who got up last!
Set Timers
Nothing fries your brain more than a mom who hasn't slept in who knows how long. You probably won't be catching up while your kids are sick so don't plan on remembering anything for a while. Instead of trying to remember when you're supposed to give your kids their antibiotics or fever medicine, set a timer. It will make things much easier for you.
Let Go And Embrace Technology
Embrace the chaos of your sick days and let your kids have access to tv, video games, and just about anything else that will keep them in their bed all day. They need to rest and if that means they watch Disney Channel all day for a few days... will it really matter? No. Give in and don't stress over the tech time.
Coffee
This one really just needs one word. Coffee. Stock up on the coffee. Whether it's brewed coffee, cold brew like me, or you beg your friends to bring you coffee... find a way and have plenty on hand. If you don't drink coffee, may God be with you! I have had more coffee than I thought possible over the last few weeks and you know what... It's okay! I'll go back to my normally obsessive amount when they feel better.
I don't think any of us would be able to sit down at the end of a sick day and say wow that was a good day, however, we can get through it. We can take those sick days one at a time and help our babies get better so we can get back to our normal chaos and crazy.
How Interracial Couples Can Find The Perfect Balance
How Interracial Couples Find The Perfect balance
Over the last ten years, I've been learning about Indian culture, experiencing it, and have slowly seen how it's become a part of who I am.I don't even realize how much Indian culture has spilled into my identity until other people spend out with our multiracial family. Then I have to explain little things like why we eat Indian food with our hands, call family members by unique names, let people speak into our kid's lives, have so many people living with us, or even clothes our kids wear to special events.I love it.My husband and I have started our own little family and I love seeing what we have made together. Our little life has become so much richer than I ever would have expected to be possible.We're happy. We've found a balance that works for us and strive to get better at it every year.
Balance.
It means something different in every family. While we have learned a balance that works for us in this season, we also know that it changes as we grow. Life happens and our circumstances change which means our balance has to change with it.We find our balance by talking to each other and finding out what we both need in our relationship. I'll give you a little hint. Finding a good balance means knowing when to say yes and when to say no.Sometimes we think it's wrong to say no, but that couldn't be further from the truth. Saying no means you know what you need and are willing to draw a line in the sand when need be.My husband and I figure out our balance by finding out what we both need. It's not always hard to figure that out. Sometimes it comes easy and natural to make the right choice.Other times you actually have to step out of your comfort zone and experience something before you make the decision. Whether it's a food concoction you could never have imagined trying or letting someone hand feed you... It's okay to try something new even if you feel a little uncomfortable at the beginning.
However, what do you do when you've either tried something or you've decided to put your foot down and say no?
If you're anything like me you may start comparing yourself to other couples out there. Then you start questioning everything.Am I embracing my husband's culture if I don't carry on all of his traditions?Will people think I don't care about his culture?This is typically the point in the process when my mind starts to go down about a dozen rabbit trails and I get lost in my head. I've always struggled with people pleasing and will even start to question myself if I think people may judge my decision.
Well, today I say something and even remind myself about something I've said many times before...
Decisions made in your relationship are between you and your partner. The balance you find needs to work for you and doesn't have to work for everyone else.There's no way to make everyone happy. You can't carry on every single tradition and that's okay. You get to pick and choose the ones that are best for you as a family.The most important thing you can do is talk as a couple. Walk through each decision together and talk about it. Your partner is a great person to talk to because they can tell if you're saying no because you're scared and nervous to step out of your comfort zone or if it's what you truly want.This is why I call myself the "Almost" Indian Wife. I'm not Indian. I don't have to carry on every single thing Indian culture tells me to. Same goes for you. Take all of that pressure off of your shoulder and have fun. Have fun figuring out what you'll carry on in your own family.At the end of the day the decision you make as a couple is perfect for your family. Whether you want to say yes or no to living in a joint family, shaving your kid's hair on the first birthday, or any other tradition... it's okay. Do what works for you and your partner.
Find the balance that works best for you.
Helping Your Hot Tempered Child To Calm Down
"The words that come out of your mouth are much more powerful than you realize. They can make someone's day completely better or make them feel like complete garbage. You need to think about that before you start saying mean things..."
This was just a tiny piece of my conversation with my four-year-old last night.He is my sensitive boy. I always have to watch what I say to him because he can find a flaw or insult in just about anything. It almost means a simple compliment for him can mean the whole world!Then why is it so easy for him to say hurtful things to his brothers?Last night, I walked in on my boys fighting over some silly toy. It's not unusual for them in fact if I were to walk in on them playing nicely together... I'd wonder what they were up to.In that moment, I had it. I was completely over the arguing and mean things they were saying to each other. I started to explain just how powerful words are to my four-year-old and noticed he started to get emotional.His tender heart couldn't believe that he had truly hurt his brother's feelings even if his temper told him differently in the moment. The problem is everything goes to the waist-side when his temper is flared.
I've never felt so close to him!The perpetual struggle with your own temper is rough. Especially when you're a little boy trying to sort it all out. The good thing is he feels remorse afterward and he wants to be nice to people around him. That's more than I can say about myself when I'm mad. In the midst of my bad mood, I have no desire to be nice to anyone else.So what can I do? How can I help him try and calm down before he says something he regrets?
Tips To Calm Down Your Hot Tempered Kiddo
Take A Deep Breath
Teach your kids to take a deep breath when they feel like they're about to blow. It gives them a moment to think before they do or say anything they'll regret in the moment.
Find Alone Time
When your kids starts to get upset, teach them to ask for a break. They can go to their room, sit on the back porch, or simply find a little spot in the house to find some peace. Let them calm down on their own and then come back when they're ready.
Ask For A Hug
Sometimes emotions get high and all your child really needs is a big hug and some reassurance. When they get upset, give them a few options to calm down and always offer some love. You'd be surprised just how much can be solved by a tight hug.
Help Your Child Understand Their Feelings
Talk with your kiddo and help them talk through their feelings. You can help them find out what made them so angry and explain what they're feeling. As they learn to identify those feelings they can figure out what to do with them before they get too explosive.
Sing A Song
Find a fun song that can help change the tone of the situation. One of our favorites is Daniel Tiger. All three of my kids know their calm down song and even sing it to each other! Adorable.
Find Something For Them To Do With Their Hands
Anger can quickly turn to fighting with siblings or breaking something. Stop it before it can get there and help your kids find something to do with their hands. You can have them punch a pillow, play with a squishy ball, or play baseball.How do you help your kiddos calm down when they're about to blow a gasket? 
One Piece Of Advice That's Kept My Interracial Marriage Strong
I was sitting down with my husband last night, listening to him play his guitar. All I could think about is how I used to watch him play almost ten years ago. I was only two years out of high school and barely knew what I was doing in life, but one thing I did know was how much I was starting to love this man of mine.The last ten years has been a whirlwind for my husband and I. We were both so young when we got married and now we have three boys, we've moved half a dozen times across the US, and the grey hairs have begun.I remind my kids every day that every grey hair on my head is because of them. They just laugh and go back to their wild antics.It's interesting to look back at the two kids we were when we got together. We had no idea about all the experiences life would throw our way.If there's one lesson we've learned through it all, it would definitely be how important it is to be a team.
We're a team. My husband and I are an unbreakable team.
Sure, there are days we don't always like each other all that well, but I love him with all of my heart. We've gotten each other through some tough times, health scares with the kids, and uprooted our family a few times.Not to mention walking through uncharted territory when it comes to blending cultures in our little family. There have been so many times where we find ourselves at odds on what's expected of us from a new culture, how to blend cultures into a new unique culture, and how to step out of our comfort zones to try new things.I'll be the first to say that it's hard.Life is hard.Interracial marriages are hard and require a lot of work.However, I would never dream up a different life for myself. I love my husband, his culture, the culture we have cultivated for our own family, and every piece of our unconventional life.The way we get through it is by standing by each other through it all. When we go into uncharted territories, I know my husband is there by my side to help me navigate the waters. I can lean on him and he can lean on me.Before anything else, we're a team.
Being a strong team helps guide us in our decisions every day.
When we are trying to figure out what to do, we look to see what's best for us as a family first and ask ourselves very specific questions. Is this going to help us grow as a family? Is this healthy for our family?As an interracial couple, we often find ourselves looking for any guidance on what to do. There are countless decisions to make every day for our relationship and families. By asking these questions before you take on step forward, it helps you know what to do or at least what direction you should start going in.
Being A Team Builds A Strong Foundation.
Relationships need to sit on a firm foundation so you can face any storm that comes your way. You need to know you can trust each other and depend on each other throughout it all.Interracial couples constantly walk into new and maybe even uncomfortable situations. You can even start to feel like an outsider when stepping into your partner's culture. If you walk into those moments as a team, you instantly feel more at ease. You know your partner is there to walk you through it and to help you figure it all out.My challenge to all of you is find out how you and your partner can be a better team this year. What can you do to make sure you are there for them throughout every situation and experience. Open up and tell them how they can be there for you. Then take the leap together and step out of your comfort zones.
Marriage Brings Out The Crazy In All Of Us
Rewind About 8 Years
When my husband and I got married, we both realized how important to learn more about Indian culture together. I wanted to soak it all in because I wanted it to truly be a part of our marriage.I was so concerned about learning those new traditions and customs that I didn't realize how odd some of my family's may seem to him. That was until this happened...
Introducing My Husband To My Childhood
We had been married for about a month when I decided to share a special meal with him. I grew up eating tuna noodle casserole and loved it! The tender egg noodles, moist tuna, and the crunch of the crackers on top makes my mouth water. (I even craved it while I was pregnant about two years later!) My husband, on the other hand, was used to spicy and very rich dishes. Casseroles... not so much.I went to the store after work and grabbed all of the ingredients. My husband was still in school getting his bachelor's degree at the time and I knew he would be home late for dinner. I had plenty of time to put together a good meal. After preparing it, I put the dish in the oven.I anxiously watched the clock because I couldn't wait for my husband to get home. I was so excited to share this with him! He walked in the front door a few moments later and I watched him excitedly. If I walked home to the smell of this delicious meal I would race to the dinner table, eager to devour every last bite.He took in a deep breath and a confused smile started to emerge.Umm. Babe, what are you cooking?I got a little giddy, told him to go sit down for dinner, and he would see. I dished up two large helpings and brought it to the table. I was ready and waiting for the sounds of...Oh, wow!This is amazing!
Then The Unexpected Happened
Instead, I got...It's good.Now, if our husbands are the same, you know what this actually means. It's code for...Dear, God. Please, don't make this again!Why he chooses to fib every time he doesn't like a meal I'll never know.Yelling at him, while explaining I spent a lot of time making that and then giving his dinner to the dog is a natural reaction when he doesn't love every one of my meals. Right?My husband has quickly learned to enjoy all of my meals with a big smile on his face. Even after I badger him to tell me what he thinks, he will lovingly say he loves it.So, maybe I wasn't the most mature when we first got married or maybe marriage just brings out the crazy side inside all of us. I only fed his dinner to the dog one more time... but it really wasn't my fault. He dared me and if my momma taught me anything it's never chicken out on a dare! Okay, I don't think that was my mom, but hey!
Masala Smothered Sweet Potato Fries
When I first met my husband, I could hardly cook. I knew how to make the basics and that was just about it. The funny thing was that both my husband and I quickly learned that we were both becoming foodies. We loved trying out new dishes together and even started whipping up new ones during our date nights!We didn't let our failed peach cobbler (like bad fail.. like we mixed up baking soda and baking powder and it became a soupy mess) get us down! We let it challenge us to become better chefs in our own kitchen!Eight years later and I can say I've learned a few things!Today, I even decided to be inspired by Indian cuisine and fuse it into one of our favorite quick dishes. Hence, how the masala smothered sweet potato fries were born!
These bad boys take hardly any time at all, but are absolutely delicious! I break the rules by showing you guys you can add a bit of cheese to an Indian fusion dish! It doesn't just fit into the dish, it takes it to the next level!Topping these Indian spiced fries with handfuls of cheese shows you that you can make every day gourmet!
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We love topping our masala covered sweet potato fries with Stella cheese! They have such a great assortment and my favorite is their Italian 3 cheese blend!Whether you're using it to top off a romantic dinner or adding a unique touch to your fusion dish, Stella is a great choice!You can even invite the whole family to the table and serve some fontinella cheese on a cheese plate! The options are endless and every one is more delicious than the last!
Why People Pleasing Never Works In An Interracial Relationship
Cultural Expectations
We all grew up learning a set of standards and norms. They're all a little different because they come from a combination of our family's beliefs and standards passed down in our family's over the years.As a mom, I know it's important to me that my kids carry on the values and traditions I've taught them. It's not because I want them to be stuck in it, it's because I truly think it helps them to be the best they can be. Our parents feel the same way. They spent years teaching us how to be strong, independent, decent human beings.These expectations get a little tricky when you fall for someone with very different expectations. They start to battle against each other and you're left at odds trying to figure out what to do.
Relationship Expectations
On the other hand, you have society's expectations of what a relationship is supposed to look like. You're supposed to start a new family together and make a new set of traditions and expectations for yourselves.However, that's easier said than done in an interracial relationship.Interracial couples have cultural expectations deep-rooted into their very being. It's no longer something their parents said at one point in their lives, it's a part of who they are. They may not even realize they feel strongly about it until their in a situation where someone tries telling them to do it differently.
Expectations are a double-edged sword in interracial relationships.
You know they're there but figuring out how they can possibly blend together feels impossible.
Over the years, I've learned marriage is give and take.
You could say no to every expectation your partner's culture put or you could try to find a balance. Take some time as a couple and try to decide what YOUR family will do. You don't have to do everything either of your culture's tells you to do. You get to pick and choose some of them. It helps show both sides of your family how important it is to blend cultures and helps you to practice BOTH cultures in your marriage.Some expectations stick regardless of whether or not you choose it. Some people will expect those things of you regardless of what you've decided as a family and that's okay. This is where you need to let go of the people pleasing. I know I'm not the only one that struggles with it.At the end of the day, you make decisions that are best for your family and let the rest go.
Big Kid Friendly School Lunch Ideas!
My oldest was extremely excited to start public school this year! He had been homeschooled the last few years and we decided to make a big change after we bought our house in the middle of the year. My sis year old looked at my husband and I and told us he was ready to start public school!Most of you know me pretty well by now... I'm extremely impulsive. I mean I even went to the pet store to get dog food and left with a puppy! Much to my husband's surprise!We're spur of the moment and it's definitely rubbed off on our son.We have been able to jump into the crazy life of school drop offs and packed lunches pretty well. I still belly ache every morning I have to wake up at 6 am and don't plan on stopping anytime soon! I think most parents still do that though so I'm okay with it.The tricky part has been school lunches. I figured uncrustables every day would make him happy, but I was wrong! Every idea I threw at my six year old was quickly shot down.Lunch meat sandwiches? No.Tortilla roll ups? No.Random crap that could constitute as lunch? No.Of course sleep deprived me got a little frustrated. When I finally nailed down what he actually did want, I found out he wanted leftovers and hot lunches sent with him to school every day. I went to the store that day and picked up a thermos to put in his lunch box.These things are crazy because they keep his lunch hot until lunch time! I made the mistake the first day of sending extra hot soup. I figured it would cool off by then and would be the perfect temperature. Nope. Instead, it was still just as piping hot as when I filled it up!Now that we've figured out the heat situation, onto the menu for the week!
Big Kid Approved School Lunches
Here is a list of big kid approved school lunches! My six year old loves these and would eat them every single week if he could! Warm them up the morning of school, throw it in a thermos, and they're ready to go!Chicken Kofta CurryChicken NuggetsChili and Tortilla ChipsKeema (Ground Meat Curry)Almond Chicken CurryGrilled Cheese SandwichSamosa Hand PiesMacaroni and CheeseSpaghettiPizza PocketsHot DogsEnglish Muffin Make Your Own PizzaSoupBeef StewChicken Wings
Thermos's are great because you can throw just about anything into it! Take a little bit from dinner or even take out and throw the lid on!My favorite is to throw in left over Indian food. I will either make extra over the weekend or whip up a big batch just for lunches on Sunday. Then we just fill up the bottom with rice and throw the curry on top!My picky child has helped me to think outside of the box! I love that he's so proud to bring Indian food with him and he even tells his friends all about it!What do your kids bring for lunch during the school week?
You Know You're In An Interracial Relationship If You've Faced One Of These!
Family pictures aren't the only things that look different for interracial families. They live differently, behave differently, and have different struggles!I assumed we'd blend cultures when I got together with my husband, but there were so many things that came up that were a big surprise to us!
Unique Challenges Interracial Couples Face
Selfies Are A Pain In The $#@
People Assume You Aren't Together
Language Barriers At Family Events
Figuring Out Which Family Member Will Approve
You Have Unique Names For Things Around The House
Deciding What To Make For Dinner
Where To Spend The Holidays
Your House Has A Revolving Door
I Never Would Have Expected To Learn This From My Interracial Relationship
There's nothing like getting into a relationship that causes you to lay it all out on the table. Things you may have tried to keep to yourself before just don't matter anymore. They're with you and they either need to live with it or..This means your once oh-so-tidy partner may let you in on the well-known secret that they're a slob.. Or maybe you're the slob.The adventurous person you spent many wild nights may slowly become content with an evening at home watching Netflix with you.It all just changes.You become comfortable with each other and you let your walls down.What about interracial couples?We talk a lot about how they like to make everything a little trickier, more adventurous, and overall throw a curveball right at you!Being in an interracial relationship means you won't only find out about your partner, but you learn a lot about yourself too.
A Few Things Being In An Interracial Relationship Teaches You
You have no clue what you're doing.
I'd love to say you figure everything out after a few years, but I don't think it's ever the case. Experience teaches you a lot, but interracial relationships have a little curveball of their own.As you start to figure something out, you enter into a new phase of your relationship. You go from learning how to behave in your spouse's culture and then you have kids and the dynamics all change.Don't stress about it and give yourself a break. Take it day by day and use everything you've learned as you move forward.
Distance means nothing when you're in love.
I used to think there was no way a long distance relationship would work. Then I married a man who ended up having a traveling job. It definitely made things more difficult, but we loved each other. We figured out a way to make it work the best we could.It's that crazy thing about love. It makes you fight hard for what you have, regardless of how hard it may be. You do it because you know it's worth it.
How possible it is to fall in love with another culture.
I grew up in a very white community. Everyone at school was pretty much white and there wasn't a lot of diversity where we lived. Then I somehow met the man of my dreams and he just so happened to be East Indian.Quickly I learned how easy it was to fall in love with Indian culture. We've started a family and integrated it into our own family culture the best we could. I love learning new things about Indian culture and how comfortable in it as well.
You get beyond excited every time you see a new celebrity interracial couple get together!
When you see another interracial couple in public, you tend to get excited. It means another person has joined your little club and you may even find yourself looking for them in public!Seeing a celebrity interracial couple is huge! You cross your fingers and hope they'll be the ones to make it because it starts to normalize multiracial families on a big scale! Hopefully, it bridges its way to the big screen too!
You start to appreciate your culture more
The more you learn about your spouse's culture, the more you start to love your own. I grew up loving my family and who I was, but it changed when I started learning about Indian culture.I had a big desire to learn more about my heritage and even find out where my family came from. I want to be able to tell my kids all about the special things both of our cultures have to offer. Even on a personal level, I just want to know more about who I am!
Just how differently two people can grow up.
My husband and I have so many things in common. We're both the oldest siblings in our families, we're secretly homebodies, and we're obsessed with food. However, there are a lot of differences as well.One of the biggest differences is how we grew up. It starts with how we celebrated birthdays all the way to what we call our relatives. I love it though. Our differences help us to challenge each other to see things differently, to push the other one to be better and brings a lot of excitement into our relationship.
What have you learned from your interracial relationship?
Simple Ways To Get Your Kids Involved During The Holidays
As we decorate our homes with sparkly lights, fresh cut trees, and more glitter than our spouses may like... we continue to enjoy the holiday season. I love it all.I love feeling the weather get colder.I love seeing my neighbors put up their lights.I love watching Christmas movies with my family.My kids are finally at ages where they want to partake in it all. Which means our tree ends up a little lopsided, the decorations consist of paper chains (everywhere), and everything takes a bit longer. The OCD side of me screams to do it all myself, but where's the fun in that?I love watching how they put their own precious mark on our traditions.Sometimes it can get a little tricky to find things they can help with, especially as our home fills with our family members from around the globe. This year I've been trying to think ahead on how they can get involved.The last few years we've gone to visit my husband's side of the family. I hardly see my kids the whole time we're there. They run off to their cousin's and soak in all their time together. I love seeing how close they all are.The closer you look, you realize the kids aren't really doing their own thing the whole time. They have their own little jobs throughout the holidays. The whole family has a role to play and it makes it run smoothly. Little things may come up like they do every other day of our lives, but it doesn't phase them. Everyone makes it work.It's a tradition that we happily continue in our house. Our kids are getting older and their roles are starting to change. Sometimes they're even the big kids in the house, which they love of course!
6 Simple Ways To Get The Kids Involved During The Holidays
Make The Decorations
Let the kids help make place cards and decorations for everyone. They can use simple things from around the house or even some cinnamon sticks from Nanamma's pantry. When they see everyone's faces as they sit down for dinner and see their place cards, they'll feel a huge amount of pride!
Prepare The House For Guests
There's always something to clean when guests come into town. Hand them a paper towel roll with some spray and let them go to town. They can wipe down all the counters, tables, windows, and even throw a bit of laundry in there. It's an easy job to delegate and you can even find a fun job for them!
Help Prepare The Curries
Kids love to help out in the kitchen. They can easily help you mix the curries, fry the onions, or add in a few ingredients. Then they can tell the world they helped make the dish! It's a great skill for them to learn at a young age and it's great bonding time between them and their family! If it doesn't turn out well, you even have someone to blame!
Serve The Chai
Chai is a staple in Indian homes. Whip up the tea and have your kids help bring it to their loved ones. They can even help set it up on the table and invite their Nanammas and Uthas to join them! It teaches them a bit about hospitality and entertains your guests.
Put On A Show
Let them plan a show for everyone! They can practice all month and then put it on when everyone arrives. There's nothing better than a child led production. They're hilarious and so sweet. It will definitely get everyone laughing!
Plan The Games For The Cousins
Have the kids think up fun games to play when their cousins arrive. They can search for new ones online or do ones they do at school. Your kids can write them all down on a piece of paper so it's ready to go!
Go Shopping With You To Get Supplies
My kids always go with me shopping. It's partly because they love it and partly because they have no choice! Lately, we've been using Walmart online! It's amazing! You can either shop online and have it send to your home in two days for FREE or you can put your order online and pick up using their online grocery!Stock up for the holidays and have your kids help pick out festive Kleenex tissue paper, Scott toilet paper, and Cottonelle toilet paper! Don't forget to check out your Ibotta coupons too! (Scott, Kleenex, Cottonelle)I love using their website because it means I get to stay home and I don't have to load up my car with bulky items and deal with the kids asking for a hundred things!Walmart is always trying to help moms out there. They know how crazy shopping can get with kids so they try to make it as easy as possible.
What Are Age Appropriate Chores For Kids
What are age appropriate chores for kids? A list of age appropriate chores for kids by age.
I still remember the day I asked my mom to give me chores. I saw all my friends were doing them and I wanted to be just like them. I had no idea what a crazy thing it was to ask for. I just knew I wanted them.My mom just laughed and said I could unload the silverware. I felt like I was on top of the world and was so excited to be just like my friends.Fast forward a few more years and unloading the dishwasher became my least favorite chore EVER. I'm not even going to lie to you right now. I still hate them, even as an adult! Well, that and laundry. If you follow me on Instagram, you've seen me complaining about the laundry mountain I have to fold each week!The funny thing is that it all came back around when my kids started asking to do chores. They still think they're fun and I have to maximize on that as long as I can!There are so many reasons I want my kids to do chores and I promise they aren't all selfish!
Why Our Kids Do Chores Every Day
Take responsibility for the messes they make
I don't know about you but my kids can make messes that go against the basic principles of physics. I turn my head for one moment and my formerly clean room turns upside down and somehow everything ends up out of place.It still shocks me to see just how messy it can all become. Although as quickly it happens, it always takes one hundred times longer to get them to clean it!Our family quickly decided to let our kids know they are responsible for their own messes. They can make their room as messy as they'd like, as long as they remember it's their job to tidy up afterward. It definitely makes them think twice before demolishing a room!
Learn skills they need as adults
As a parent, sometimes it's easier to simply do things on our own. We see that something needs to get done and also how much longer it will take if we ask the kids to do it.In those moments, I'm always reminded of something a pastor told me. As moms, we're teaching our kids how to treat their future partner. If we do everything for them, they're going to expect their wife to do the same thing.By teaching our kids to clean up after themselves, they learn how to respect their future partner and themselves. I want my boys to be able to be independent and self-sufficient. I let them help me around the house, take responsibility for their room, and be my big helpers in pretty much everything else.
Become Grateful
If you give your kids everything they want in life, they don't always realize how blessed they are to have them. We make our kids do chores and work hard because it teaches them to be grateful for what they've been blessed with.They also realize the value of their things because they see how hard it was to work for them. When kids are little and something breaks they have the same nonchalant response...Let's just get a new one.They're little and don't realize it's not always that easy. By teaching them to work hard and be grateful, they take better care of the things they have in their life. They even learn to respect it!
Big families make big messes and momma needs help!
Our once little family has gotten bigger over the years. Now we are a family of five and the messes and responsibilities just get bigger and bigger. I don't know about you, but mama can't do it all!If I tried to do it all by myself, I would shrivel up in a corner. There's no way. Instead, my husband and I teach our kids that everyone takes part in our family responsibilities. If you make a mess, you clean it up. When someone makes dinner you either help prepare it, set the table, or do the dishes afterward.Everyone helps and it makes our family stronger.What chores do your kids do at home?
How To Raise Globally Conscious Kids
After talking with a few multiracial families lately, I'm seeing a popular question. It keeps coming up and I think it's a fun one to talk about together!How can I raise globally conscious children?Many of us think our kids are automatically exposed to diversity because they're growing up in a multiracial family, but it shouldn't stop there. We should always be exposing our kids to different cultures and ways of life.It helps them feel more confident in their biracial identity or multiracial family. It also helps our kids to be a part of a generation that understands how important ethnic diversity is in our world.We all have so much to teach each other and I for one want to teach my kids how great it is to learn about people around them. I want to nurture their curiosity and teach them it's okay to ask questions. I want them to have that little fire inside of them that makes them want to know how people live around the world.So many of the world's current problems could be solved if we simply cared about people around them. The first step is learning to be globally conscious as a family. Show your kids what it looks like and have fun doing it!
How To Raise Globally Conscious Kids
Watch foreign movies together!
This is an easy one! Head over to Netflix and check out all of their foreign family films. All you need to do is put on the captions and you're good to go. You'll hear fun new music, see different places around the world, and your kids will start asking questions!It's a fun way to get your kids exposed to a different culture and find a new family favorite movie!
Cook a dish from a different country.
Find a new cuisine to try out and let the kids help prepare it! Get their hands dirty and have fun! You can even take it up a notch by using utensils used in different parts of the world as well! Kids tend to be hands-on learners and cooking is a fun and simple way to learn something new. Not to mention it means family time!
Give up utensils for a night and see how they eat in India.
After eating Indian food with my hands for almost eight years, I hate eating it with a fork! I would never have expected it but now it's normal in our house. Teach your kids the technique East Indians and Ethiopians use when eating with their hands.
Attend a local community festival celebrating a different culture.
Most towns offer different cultural events throughout the year. Check out your town's website and see what they have to offer. Then schedule it into your family's calendar.These events can be a show, food show, music, crafts, or fun activities. It's a great change of pace for family night and helps your family step out of their comfort zone to try something new.
Fill Your Home With Diverse Books
This is one of my favorite ways to expose my kids to different cultures. We always look for books that talk about kids from across the globe. Each book is a glimpse into a different child's life and the customs they follow. This helps broaden their views because it becomes normal for them to see diversity.
Listen to popular hits, even if it's in a different language!
Turn up the music and dance! We have dance parties at our house every night and recently we've been listening to new music. One night we'll listen to Bollywood music and the next night we may be listening to music from somewhere deep in Africa.The kids love it and are always searching for new music to dance to!
Interracial Couples: What To Expect When Visiting Your In-Laws
One of the scariest things in a new relationship is the day you meet your future in-laws. It's intimidating and downright unnerving. You want to make the best impression possible, but so many thoughts start running through your mind.You know how important it is for it to go well because you truly love your partner. They've changed your world and you want to fit nicely into theirs.Meeting your in-laws is typically more unnerving for interracial couples as well because you're trying to learn a new set of cultural expectations on top of everything else.I've shared my experience with you guys before.As you can all see in my experience, one thing that can make the night a bit more difficult is when you don't know what to expect. Indian culture was completely new to me. I was trying to navigate through it all while preparing for a huge step in my relationship.Not to mention, teaching someone about Indian culture was new to my husband. Growing up, he had shared experiences and food with his friends, but he usually let his family fill them in on what to do during. When we got together, I had all kinds of questions for him. I wanted to know the whats as well as all the whys behind everything that went on.It was the only way I knew to throw myself into his culture so I could take part in as many things as I could. I didn't just want to know about Indian culture, I wanted to experience it.Whether you're about to meet your in-laws for the first time over the holidays or you're still getting to know them, there are a few things you should know.
Respect, Respect, Respect
Indian families tend to be more traditional than some Western families. You should talk to your partner beforehand and ask him how to show his/her family respect. While in your family it may mean telling them to feel at home, it means bringing your in-laws a cup of tea in Indian families.Cultural expectations look different when it comes to respect so your best bet is to communicate with your partner and go above and beyond what you see as respect. As you get to know them, you'll start to learn what respect looks like in their family.
Offer To Help
It doesn't if you're at your home or someone else, always offer to help. You can offer to help cook the meal, clean up dishes afterward, or offer to get someone a glass of water at any point. It's a small thing that goes a very long way.
Don't Use First Names
First names are a no-no with anyone older than you. Ask your partner what you should call them. In most Telugu families you will call everyone aunty and uncle. It's a general sign of respect and is about the same and Mrs. and Mr.Don't be like me and call your mother in law by her first name... Oops!
Hand Feeding
Hand feeding is very common in Indian families. Most Indian food is eaten with your hands. So during meal time, you won't see utensils unless they're trying to be nice to you.You will probably even see elders hand feed loved ones younger than them. They may do it to offer a taste to someone or do it to simply feed someone. It's not just with kids either. It's a gesture of love and very special thing among Indian family members.
Bring A Gift
If you're going to someone else's house, always bring a gift. It doesn't have to be big. It can be a festive candle, box of chocolates, or just about anything. It will score you major points with your in-laws and shows them that you're grateful to be asked into their home.
Take Off Your Shoes
Always take off your shoes when you step into someone's home. You will probably notice a stack of shoes by the door. Always look for them to see if it's expected at someone's home before you walk in. If you don't see it, you can simply ask.
No PDA
Public displays of affection are a big no when it comes to most traditional Indian families. This means you shouldn't be snuggling up to or kissing your partner while around their family. Holding hands is the line and you may even want to run that by your loved one.
