6 Places Parents Can Find Refuge From Their Kids
Sometimes My Kids Drive Me A Little Crazy
Let's all take a moment and be honest with each other. Parent to parent. Sometimes you just need a break from your kids. Sometimes the, "mommy mommy MOMMY, " just gets to you. As a stay at home mom, I'm with my kids all day every day. While it is a huge blessing and I do love that I'm able to, it's hard to find a moment of solitude. Especially now that my oldest has decided he's done with naps.Our days tend to get a little chaotic to say the least.
A Little Peak At Our Day
6-7:30 am- Kids wake up and watch cartoons in mommy and daddy's bed7:30-8:30 am- Breakfast and daddy leaves8:30-12:30 Mommy does school with the kids, attempts to keep the them busy, and makes them lunch12:30-2:30 Nap for little kids and chaos for big brother2:30-4:30 Kids argue, play, argue, beg for dinner, and make a big mess4:30-5:30 Mom attempts to make dinner while kids beg for attention and food5:30-6:30 Dinner time and playing with daddy6:30-7:30 Kids get ready for bed, make a mess, clean up their mess, go to bed, and ask for a dozen drinks of waterThe next day we start it all over again.As you can see there isn't much time at all where momma gets any alone time. All day long my kids are right there next to me. Don't get me long, I love my time with my kids. I really do. The part that drives me crazy is the whining.I know you can all understand seeing as the number one show most hated by parents is Caillou. The reason behind all the hate is his whiny voice! Ahh. It just makes me cringe and it's the exact same feeling I have when my own kids whine.It's for this reason and a few others that this momma needs to find a little refuge during the day.
6 Places Parents Can Find Refuge From Their Kids
When things get a little crazy in our house I have a few places I use to get away from it all.
The Bathroom
I'm pretty sure the guys beat us to this one. No one has to get to the bathroom for that long... They know what they're doing. They're hiding from everyone in there! They grab their phone and use it as a bit of solitude.One of the best parts of this location is that there is a lock on the door. Even if your kids find you, they can't get to you!
The Kid's Room
If your kids are anything like mine, the last place they want to play is there own room. Finding them playing in their room is a miracle. If mom and dad happen to ask them to play there... they act like we're torturing them.How could you ask us to do that!?This is exactly why it's the best place to hide from them. It's the last place they'll look!
The Kitchen Floor
Sometimes, you can't manage to get anywhere else so you just plop yourself down on the kitchen floor. If you're lucky, they don't look in the actual kitchen. They usually just glance and move on. If I'm being honest, this is my go to spot when things get crazy at night.My husband has found me here more times than I'd like to admit!
The Shower
The moment I put my little monkey's to bed, I hop in the shower. First of all, it's relaxing and the perfect way to destress. Second of all, it means the hubby has to deal with the kids if they get out of bed. Momma is unavailable and daddy is the only one that can walk to them to their bed a few dozen times.Unless your husband gets wise to your plan and throws a naked baby into your shower with you...
The Car
I love car rides with my kids. They typically don't mind them and almost always fall asleep. Seriously, think about it. All the kids are strapped in and can't get into anything. If they're lucky they have something to play with to keep them busy.If all else fails, turn the music up.
Grocery Shopping
This was my go to hide out when my husband was traveling for work. He would come back from a long trip and the first thing I would do is take a drive to the grocery store. It didn't matter what I needed, I would walk up and down every aisle and just enjoy the peace.
What's your go to place you find refuge from your kids?
6 Lessons I Can Learn From My Single Self
Motherhood is beautiful and it's also one of the hardest things you'll ever do. Take a minute to learn from your younger self. 6 lessons I can learn from my single self.
Motherhood At It's Finest
Most women talk about the beauty in motherhood.The joys in pregnancy. Baby's first steps. Baby's first word. Watching your kids win awards at school. On the other hand, most women are ashamed to talk about the ugly side.Spit up on your favorite shirt. Sleepless nights. Tantrums. Miscarriage. Infertility.Motherhood is a beautiful, yet at times thankless job. In those moments, we need to take a lesson from our single selves.
6 Lessons I Can Learn From My Single Self
Get Dressed Up
Yes, even if you're just running to the grocery store. Throw on some lipgloss, a cute tunic and some leggings. Putting a little more effort into your appearance can change your outlook on your whole day.Don't believe me? Think back to the last time you got a compliment on your appearance (especially if you went through hell and high water to leave the house). I bet that made your day right?!Need some inspiration? Blast Beyoncé's All the Single Ladies while you get dressed!
Embrace Adult Interaction
This can be especially tough for stay at home moms with little kids. There's no shame in enrolling your kids in a half day Pre-K. Every mom needs a few hours of peace!Meet your girlfriend(s) for a coffee date at Chick-Fil-A or another kid friendly place.Talking to another adult gives you a break from Bubble Guppies & Paw Patrol.
Sit Down & Eat a Meal
You're probably standing up right now! Moms are on the go 24/6.We are running older kids to sports activities & music lessons, cooking dinner & assisting with homework & who knows what else.At dinner time while everyone else enjoys a meal, moms are often the ones standing. Take a load off, sit down & enjoy a meal with your family!
Take a Workout Class
When I was single, I lived for my weekly yoga, Zumba & kickboxing classes. I kept them up with my first child, but after adding a second baby to the family, the little extra time I had was spent either sleeping or catching up on housework.I miss the extra energy a work out class gave me.Now thanks to the ability to stream TV & YouTube, I often have a workout class in my living room.
Go Shopping & Buy Something For Yourself
When you were single, payday meant time for a manicure, lunch date with a friend, or a weekend getaway.Once you become a mom, every trip to the store ends up with things for your husband or the kids.Take some time to invest in yourself. Your family will thank you.
Go On a Date With Your Husband
Remember the thrill of finding the perfect date night outfit? It can be fun again! Don't wait until your anniversary to schedule a date with your other half.Your husband will thank you.
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30 Ways To Spice Up Date Night!
Date night. The one time during the week where you can put everything aside and have some fun!When my husband and I first got together our date nights were always exciting. We were always thinking up new adventurous ideas. A few kids later and date night became just another thing we couldn't get to. We were so busy with the kids and work during the day that the idea of doing something extravagant (or anything other than binge watching something on Netflix) felt exhausting.It took us a while to realize just how important date nights are to our relationship.
This post is sponsored by Groupon Goods. As always, all opinions are my own.
Do We Really Have To Go On A Date
Parents joke about date nights all the time. They start to see it as something they used to have time for, but now it's not possible.Date nights are a luxury.In reality date nights are vital to a healthy relationship. Couples can get so focused on work, finances, and their kids that they forget to work on their relationship. Date nights help couples to keep the spark alive.Over the years, you and your loved one will change and date nights help you to grow together. It's an opportunity to talk, encourage each other, show each other that you're fighting for your relationship, get out of your day to day routine, and have fun!
30 Ways To Spice Up Date Night
Groupon Goods is here to help spice up date nights! They have countless deals to make sure you and your loved one can get out and have fun each week! Instead of just doing dinner and a movie, try something new! Here are 30 things Groupon Goods can give you a great deal on!My husband and I always check out our Groupon Goods app to find local deals! It pushes us out of our normal date night plans and helps us save money too!
- Tour your city
- Wine tasting
- Helicopter tour
- Planetarium
- Go bowling
- Ice skating
- Art lessons
- Attend a concert
- Go to a museum
- Go to a fun restaurant
- Get drinks
- Go dancing
- Brewery
- Watch a football game
- Try a workout class
- Relax at a spa
- Get a makeover
- Go shopping
- Comedy club
- Cooking class
- Beer tasting
- Zoo
- Dinner cruise
- Food tour
- Rock Climbing
- Kickboxing
- Jaz club
- Couples massage
- Watch a play
- Dance classes
Which one would you choose to spice up your date night this week!?
How To Keep My Culture Alive While Living Abroad
I'm very excited to join up with Lauren from English Wife Indian Life to share our stories. We're sharing how keep culture alive in our multicultural families. I share how we keep my husband's Indian culture alive in the US and she's sharing how she's keeping her English culture alive while living in India.
How To Keep My Culture Alive While Living Abroad
When I married an Indian, I remember thinking how lucky our children will be to belong to two extremely different cultures. As soon as I found out I was pregnant, I spent hours researching baby names that would fall easily from both tongues. Then I started to worry, my own cultural identity has been questioned numerous times, from “you should be more Indian now you live in India” to “it seems you are not proud to be British anymore”.Will my child have a similar experience? Will my child feel British at all growing up in India?India is the country I have called home for three years. Since leaving England to start a new life with the man I love, I have been learning about Indian values and traditions. In fact, I made it my mission to learn as much as I possibly could so I could understand my new family and the world around me. There are so many amazing things I want my son to learn and enjoy from Indian culture, but what about his other culture?I thought about the ways I have managed to maintain my culture in India, what parts are so important to me that I couldn’t leave them behind when I took off from Heathrow. I don’t want to force either culture down his throat, but I do want to give him the opportunity to experience both sides of his heritage.
Enjoying a Full English Breakfast
The food we eat says a lot about who we are, our lifestyle and our heritage. In a couple of weeks, I going to start weaning my son, which has put the emotional aspect of food in the spotlight. I can’t predict what his tastes will be, but I would hate for him to have the same problem I have.I’m so attached to English food that I daydream about it! It has a huge sway on my emotional wellbeing when I am unable to indulge in cheese or bread. Finding quality cheese and bread in the city I live has been a struggle. I want my son to enjoy a variety of cuisines, give him as much choice as I can. I would hate to be visiting England and have to make something separate for him because he has the same emotional attachment to Indian food as I do to English food.
Celebrating Christmas, Easter and Pancake Day
Every Christmas morning I woke up with a stocking on the end of my bed, stuffed with small presents from Father Christmas. If we were living in the West, we would be surrounded by Christmas, but living in India, it’s my job to cultivate the spirit.I don’t want to lie to my child about Father Christmas, for starters we don’t even have a chimney, but I don’t want to lose one of the very few family traditions I have (especially when my husband’s family have hundreds). I still remember how disenchanted I felt with the entire world when I found out Father Christmas wasn’t real. It broke my heart. I’ve thought about this extensively (probably too much) and found a solution.There is a ten day Hindu festival celebrating the elephant God, Lord Ganesh. The tradition is that families bring a clay idol of Lord Ganesh into their home, bringing his spirit into the house, and enjoy their time with him. I thought of Father Christmas, and he is the symbol for the spirit of Christmas (jolly, giving etc.). I’m sure my children will understand it this way, and avoid the minor breakdown I had when I was about seven.
Please and Thank You
When I first moved to India, everyone laughed at me for saying “thank you”. Hysterical laughter that made me feel uncomfortable and insecure. Still, I continued to say thank you, it’s not only a habit. It’s a compulsion. It’s not that Indians are rude, concept of politeness is vastly different in India. I would say by Indian standards, I can be (unintentionally) very rude sometimes. I want to encourage my son to say please and thank you, avoiding the disapproving looks when we visit England.
Making the Most of Trips to Britain
We may not have as many traditions and festivals as India, but our little island has beauty, history and fun things to do. It dawned on me as I was flying to India, my son’s childhood will be drastically different from my own . There are so many things I remember with great fondness, and I want him to have the opportunity to experience them too. Therefore, I have promised myself that when we do visit England, we will not waste a moment.
Bring my Culture to India for my Son
When I started to write this post, I thought about the ways I have brought British culture to India and it made my stomach turn. Britain ruled India for almost 100 years before India achieved freedom in 1947. After all the bloodshed, enslavement and stolen wealth, the British retreated after the independence movement, known for its nonviolent philosophy. The actions of some of my ancestors in India were awful and inhumane. I feel ashamed when I read about the brutalities and injustice.That being said, I believe that people cannot be blamed for the actions of their ancestors, religion, nationality or race. It’s also important we don’t wipe away history from our consciousness, to learn from mistakes and treat everyone equally, regardless of race, religion, gender or nationality.In the end, that is what I hope most for my son (and any future children we are blessed with), that they are kind, open minded and respect all living things.
Be sure to follow Lauren on English Wife Indian Life
Potty Training: Top Methods And Tips
Potty Training
The moment in parenthood, we all dread.Potty training means double the amount of dirty clothes, constantly keeping an eye on your child to make sure they don't pee everywhere, and frantically looking for bathrooms in public before you become "that" family...I love hearing from other parents to find out how they potty trained their children. Some parents use the same techniques all the way through and others do it different each time.I potty trained my oldest at 18 months, my middle child at 2 and a half, and my youngest... Well, I haven't gotten to it until now.I potty trained my oldest at a young age because he literally asked me to get him big boy underwear and to use the potty like daddy. By the time my second child started showing the signs that he was ready, I was pregnant with my third and tried to hold him off on the whole process. He had other plans.Now, my youngest is practically begging me to potty train him. You don't believe me? All week he has been coming up to me.. naked.. diaper in hand. Then he goes on to tell me he's poo (the word he uses for both deeds).It doesn't matter what type of outfit he's wearing. He manages to get it and his diaper off and proudly finds me to show off his accomplishment.
3 Potty Training Methods
The first step to potty training your child is to choose the method that fits your life and child best. Here are the top three methods around.
The Child Oriented Method:
This method is designed to let your child decide when they're ready. Watch for signs that they're ready to be potty trained.When you see the signs, you begin the potty training process. First start out with your child, fully clothed on the potty. Get them used to the potty without the pressure of using it. As they get more comfortable, have them sit on the potty while they're wearing a pull up. Then encourage them to sit on the potty without a pull up.As they get more comfortable with the potty, they will start to try using it when they're ready.The slow process is designed to encourage your child to take it all at their own pace. If they start to resist the process, this method suggests you take a break.While this method can provide a positive experience for your child, it also ends up taking much longer. It can last anywhere from a few weeks to a year.
The Weekend Method:
This method has become increasingly popular over the years. When you see a few signs that your chid is ready to be potty trained, find a weekend that you can completely devote to the process. Clear your schedule and get ready.This method takes about three days to complete. It's much messier than the other two, but effective.The morning of day one, start pumping your child full of fluids. You want as many opportunities to practice as possible. Then strip your child naked. It's important to keep your child naked on the first day so they can feel what it's like to need to use the potty.Take them to the potty every thirty minutes and have them try. If you catch them in an accident, immediately take them over to the potty and have them sit down. Remind them to go to the potty if they feel like they have to go.Day two is a little different. Today your child can wear underwear. The routine is still the same. Pump them full of fluids and take them to the potty on a schedule.Day three is the last structured day of the method. By this time, your child knows they need to use the potty and has has plenty of experience with it. Today, your child can wear pants and be fully dressed. Day three is more of a maintenance day. Watch out for accidents and continue the routine.My husband and I used this method for our kids. It worked for our oldest two and will be the same method we use for our third. It's crucial to completely clear your weekend. It helps to make sure you're completely focused on the process and catch accidents before or during.
The Potty Party Method:
This method is also one of the quicker ones.Get your child a doll that "goes potty." Introduce the doll to your child and explain that the doll us becoming a big kid and only uses the potty now.Spend the morning teaching the doll how to go in the potty. Make sure you let your child help teach the doll so they can understand the concept as well. Let the doll have a few "accidents" and use it as an opportunity to talk about what happened.Before your child begins their potty training, find the biggest incentive possible and use it to encourage them to use the potty. Once your child successfully uses the potty, get all of their family and a few friends to come together and celebrate.This is their moment. The party is more of a commitment they're making. They now know how to use the potty and as a family, you're committing to the process. During the party, take a moment to gather all of their diapers and throw them away. Then they can put their underwear in their drawer.The potty party is a 1-2 day process, so you will still be doing a fair bit of maintenance afterwards. However, by throwing all of the diapers away, you're locked in!
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3 Signs You're In An Intercultural Relationship
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Meet Molly: A Fellow Almost Indian Wife Pt. 2
A few weeks ago, Molly, a fellow Almost Indian Wife shared what it's been like to move to India. She gave us a glimpse into her experiences and her struggles. Today, she's sharing more about her journey!
What has it been like for you to settle into a new country, new home, and fully integrate yourself into Indian culture?
Personally, I have gone through a lot while living in this other culture/country. I’ve gone through happiness, depression, loneliness, and just about every feeling.I used to be a VERY independent person, I mean I did everything; the chores, the errands, shopping, grocery shopping you name it! But ever since coming to India, I have to depend on my husband Jim for EVERYTHING! And he’s so busy with the ministry, sometimes I don’t get to go out of the house for weeks at a time! Which of course put a strain on our marriage in the beginning. I want to learn how to drive, so I don’t need to depend on Jim so much, but Jim doesn’t want me to learn because he himself is so scared of driving.The driving in India is the worst! Just imagine no one following any traffic rules, that’s how it is. The driving is also on the left side, with the steering wheel on the right, which is something I will have to learn. You can look up on YouTube, “driving in India” to see what it’s like.Either way, going outside as a “white” girl is the worst experience. I’m talking about the actual Indian experience, like shopping on the street corners, and getting expensive things for really cheap. Even walking on the streets is dangerous, you are surrounded by beggars and little kids that come up to you for money. I was even chased for 5 minutes one time because a lady wanted more money than what I gave her!
Common things you will see on the road:
Also, because I'm White, Indians try their hardest to cheat and take advantage of me. When you shop on the streets, most of the time you can bargain with the salesman to get a better price, but with a white person...! They double and triple the cost of things!I can never go shopping without my sister in law because she knows the value of things and what the real cost is. They do have huge malls, and really nice stores where we live, and because of me, that is where we shop now. Jim’s family soon realized that they can’t take me shopping where they usually go because then they won’t get good prices.I just hate the thought of “bargaining” or “bribing.” It is something I am definitely not good at. So, just like America, we go to the more “fancier” shops where things have price tags on them. I always have to hide when there are vendors coming to the door, such as people selling clothes, bangles, jewelry because they will raise the prices.Even getting into an auto rickshaw I always have to stand behind Jim without them seeing me, then once he gets the cost of how much it will be, then I come around the corner and get in. I wish it wasn’t like that, but we certainly can’t afford triple the cost of everything just because of my skin color.I was definitely not prepared when we first moved to India. I just came from a place where you are friendly to people, can trust them to a certain extent, have your own privacy, people say their "please" and "thank you’s" etc. But here! It all went out the window. And since we came here for the ministry, there are certain things I should and shouldn’t do anymore. I can’t wear short sleeve shirts, no shorts, only full-length skirts, no tank tops, my arms have to be covered, I have to wear a shawl wherever I go, I can’t sit cross-legged in front of elders and my hair has to be covered in any church event.The clothing I have to wear is a chudidars or a sari (I can wear jeans only if Jim and I are going out, which isn’t very often). Also in church, the woman sits on one side while the men sit on the other.Indians are also very concerned about education. We have parents in our church who break their backs day and night as hard working laborers, just so that their child will get a good education. Education is everything to them, without it you're basically no one in society. Also, if their child has a chance to go abroad, it is a huge pride for the parents. I love hearing parents talk about their children who have gone to America because they seem to understand me more and the culture where I come from.In the end, my husband and I are here for God and the ministry. I have my moments of being homesick, there are good days and bad days. India is full of culture and diversity and I’m very blessed to be going through this experience. God has revealed a lot to me about myself and in our marriage. I feel that ever since living here, I’m able to understand Jim more because I’m living what he has lived his whole life before he met me and it has been tough but well worth the eye opener. We both love our cultures and that is one blessing our kids will have, a life of two very different worlds.
Do you have questions for Molly about her experiences? Ask her in the comment section!
Meet Molly, A Fellow Almost Indian Wife
Today I am very excited to introduce you all to my friend Molly. She’s a fellow Almost Indian Wife and just got back after living in India with her husband. She took some time to share about her experiences in a new culture with all of us!
Molly tell us a little about yourself.
Hello everyone, my name is Molly Elliot and I’m married to my wonderful husband of 4 years, Jim Elliot. Jim and I were married in India, November 2012, and soon after that we came back to the U.S to work and save some money. We just came back to Bangalore, India January 2015 and have lived here ever since.These are pictures of our wedding.
What was it like for you living in India? Can you share a bit about your experiences?
My experiences while living here in India have been both good and bad. I understand each state has their own culture, but I’ll share my experiences living with a Tamil family. My husband and I came here to do ministry alongside Jim’s dad who is a pastor, as well as help raise 11 street children (girls) that they have been running since 2001. We currently live with the girls, my in-laws, and Jim’s two sisters. The boys home (15 boys) is separate from the girls’ home, outside city limits.We live in a three floor house, the ground floor is my in-laws space, first floor is our space, and the second floor is the girls space.
What struggles have you faced while living in a new culture and home across the world?
One of the biggest struggles for me since we’ve moved here is not having our own place. In America, Jim and I lived on our own for two years, we learned how to survive with each other. Here in India, the son has the responsibility of taking care of his parents until their death. This was a huge strain on our marriage because I wanted it to be like America; live in our own house with our own rules, our own privacy, go to the in laws house if not every day then every other day. I wanted our life to be exactly the same as it was, but I learned the hard way that it would never be the same. Usually our day begins with being woke up by our wonderful neighbor who sweeps the outside of his gate at 3:30 in the morning for an hour, right outside our window. That’s one common thing you will see, all the women get up early to sweep the outside because of all the dust, then (if they are Hindus) they will decorate the cement with chalk designs.Then we go downstairs, have our morning tea, you can NOT start your day without having chai tea! we have our Indian breakfast which is usually; Dosa with Chutney, Idli, or Puri, or my ABSOLUTE favorite; Masala Dosa. Breakfast is my favorite meal of the day because it doesn’t involve rice.
Be sure to subscribe so you can catch part 2 of Molly's story! Do you have any questions for her?
My Multicultural Family: What I've Learned From My Traveling Spouse
While most families are packing up to head out of town for the summer, my family is getting ready for some epic staycations! My husband, Joel travels for work and summers tend to be one of his busiest times of the year for him.As I'm sure you can already imagine, having a traveling spouse is hard. I'd love to say I handle it all perfectly and that things run smoothly while he's gone... but no. That's definitely not the case. Instead the dishes pile up, the house gets cluttered, clean clothes end up in my closet full of other clean clothes (not folded, but piled nicely in the corner), dinner consists of chicken nuggets or cereal, and bed time is strictly at 7 every night so momma can get a break.It's not all bad.
Having a traveling spouse has taught me a lot.
It's taught me to be more comfortable with myself.
My husband and I got married when we were really young. I was only twenty! The reason I will never forget how old I was is that we went on a cruise to the Bahamas and I was so excited there wasn't a drinking age there!Ahh, the little things that bring us pleasure.I quickly learned to depend on my husband. He's an amazing man and has always taken care of our family, even when that consisted of the two of us. I have always been more comfortable with him by my side. It was really hard when he started traveling because I just wanted to stay home. I didn't want to go to events or get togethers with out him. I felt uncomfortable being alone.Then I realized how wrong that was. I didn't want to be so dependent on my spouse that I couldn't do things without him. He was always encouraging me to go and one day I finally listened. Sure, it was uncomfortable at first, but then I gained a new sense of pride and independence.My husband will always bring out the best in me, but that doesn't mean I'm not my best when he's not there. I will always be me whether he's there or not. Having him travel so much has taught me to challenge and love myself more.
It's ok to not be supermom every day.
While my husband is away for work I'm doing a lot. I have to help my three year old cope with daddy being gone (he struggles the most), take care of the house, take care of the dog, do everything needed to be done for the kids, make three meals a day, keep everything organized, fix broken things around the house, take on things my husband normally does, try to live frugally while he's away, and try to find time for myself.Doing it all isn't just hard, it's impossible.I've tried. I've tried doing everything at 100 percent and I broke down. I felt like a failure because I could barely get things done and the things I did do weren't done well. Then a very wise friend asked me a very wise question.Why are you trying to be supermom?I wanted to do everything perfectly and let everyone know I could do it. I could be an amazing mom while my husband was away and I didn't need help from anyone. Instead I found out just how much my family was suffering from my own pride.No one expected me to do everything. No one expected everything to be perfect. It was me. I was the one that wanted to do it all.My family became so much healthier when I stopped trying to be supermom. Now, I'm honest when I can't do something. I spend every morning looking at my to do list and ask myself what actually needs to get done today.This has lead to a closet full of unfolded clean clothes, chicken nuggets for dinner more often than not, sticking closer to the house to avoid getting everyone ready, and me asking for a lot of help. Guess what... It's also made for a much happier family.Now, my family talks about how to make things easier while daddy is away. We've landed on chore charts for the kids, snack boxes so snacks are figured out ahead of time, simple schedules, and mommy time.
All my kids really want is for momma to make time for them
My kids really don't care if I fill up our days with crazy adventures, perfectly clean houses, extravagant meals, and that I do it all on my own. All they really want is quality time. They would rather me make more time for them than to spend more time cleaning or stressing out about things around then house.My husband has talked to them a lot about how much faster things go when everyone contributes. Now, we make it a big game at night. We spend fifteen minutes and see who can clean up the most. Then we have more time to read books together and chat about our day.It's crazy how long it took for me to realize this. It helps me give myself a break on the hard days. All my kids really want is me.
Does your spouse travel? What has it taught you?
Intercultural Couples: Why Should You Cook For Your Loved One?
This post is sponsored by Saffron Fix. As always all my opinions expressed here are my own.
As a wife in an intercultural relationship, I can tell you making food from a culture so new to me can be intimidating. When I first started making Indian food for our family, I had no idea what I was doing. The first time I made chicken curry was a disaster and to be really honest, I wasn't extremely motivated to keep trying. There are so many couples out there facing similar situations. They want to learn to make the food their loved one grew up with, but they're intimidated and tend to give up early. 
Taking the time to learn how to make food from your loved one's childhood means more than you think.
It shows your spouse you love them.
When you take the time to learn something new, it reminds your spouse how much you love them. Sometimes, you need to go beyond just saying "I love you," and actually show them.
It brings you and your spouse together.
Food has always been the thing to bridge cultures and bring people together. Whether you're eating or cooking together, you're putting everything else on hold and making each other the priority.
It reminds your spouse you want to blend cultures.
Blending cultures in your food is a great idea because it means you're both experiencing it together. Every bite you have and every minute you take to prepare the dish, is another moment you're blending cultures in your family. ---You can see how important it is to blend cultures in your family meals, but don't let it intimidate you. All you need to do is ask for help. If this is you and you're looking for a little help to learn how to make authentic dishes for your family, Saffron Fix is the answer.
Saffron Fix is a meal-kit service that will send you everything you need to make delicious Indian dishes in no time! All you need to do is go to their site, choose from mouth watering recipes, and checkout. They'll send you a box full of pre-chopped ingredients, authentic spices, and the recipes. All of the meals are ready in under thirty minutes!Whether you want to learn how to make authentic Indian dishes or need quick and easy meals throughout the week, Saffron Fix is for you. 
My Favorite Intercultural Posts
One of my favorite things to talk about with all of you is intercultural relationships. My family and I have experienced things we never expected in the last six years. Our intercultural experiences have even taught all of you a few things. Here are a few of my top favorites! 
12 Things Parents Of Mixed Race Kids HearPeople have no shame when it comes to asking strangers personal questions. They range from funny to I can't believe you just asked me that! Check out this post to hear some of the questions we've been asked and I'm sure you have been asked more than half!
Can You Prevent A Dominant Culture From Taking Over In An Intercultural RelationshipWhen you fall in love with your loved one, blending cultures isn't something you think about right away. It comes later and then you have to figure out how to blend two distinct cultures. Sometimes it's easy, but it's usually something that requires a lot of work. It's common for one culture to dominate in a family if you're not careful. Here are a few things you can do to prevent that. 
Am I Racist Against My Own CultureAfter marrying my husband, I fell in love with Indian culture. It's vibrant, beautiful, and all about food and family. As I fall in love with it more, I've been accused of being racist against my own culture. I didn't realize my love for one culture would portray racism against my own. 
Culture Clash Wednesday #5 Personal SpaceIf you follow me on Instagram, you have all seen the pictures of my kids touching my face. I. Can't. Stand. It. It used to be adorable and heart warming. Now I get bloody noses because they sneak into my bed and slap me in the face in the middle of the night, trying to "cuddle" my face. If parenting has taught me anything, it's that I no longer have the right to personal space... 3 Signs You're In An Intercultural RelationshipDid you know you're in an intercultural relationship? Really, you are. You may not believe me, but after reading this post, you will see how true it is. There are three major signs that will guarantee you are in one. 
How To Survive A Relationship With Your Mother Or Daughter In LawOften times, we focus on how difficult our mother in laws can be, but have you ever thought about how it must be for them? As a mother of three boys, I can't even imagine how I will be when they bring girls home. Much less marry them! Read this post and try to put yourself in their shoes. 
Too White To Be Indian And Too Indian To Be WhiteAs a biracial adult and as a part of an intercultural marriage, I find myself being pulled in two different directions. On one hand, I am trying to appease Indian culture and traditions, but on the other I'm trying to appease a culture I grew up with. Can you relate to this? If so, this post is for you.
Which post is your favorite?
Family Fridays #24 Josey
Do you to hear more stories like Josey's? Check out our other Family Friday posts!
#MommaChat Instagram Hop #4
Follow These Steps
Follow the mommas joining us in this weeks #MommaChat
Start The Hop
Go to my Instagram page and begin the hop! All of the instructions are listed in the description. You have completed the hop once you follow all the steps and reach the first momma you started with!
Share #MommaChat with your friends
Momma chat is a way to meet new mommas, get inspired, and enjoy a cup of tea with new friends! Please share this post with your friends so we can get the word out. [tweetthis twitter_handles="@almstindianwife" display_mode="box"]I'm joining the #MommaChat today! What about you![/tweetthis]
Giveaway
Today's #MommaChat is a little different. We're adding a giveaway! Amara is sponsoring today's post and is giving away TWO boxes of their organic baby food! As a mom, I'm always looking for delicious and healthy food options for my kids. The biggest thing I struggle with is finding something quick and easy. My life tends to be extremely chaotic (go figure with three boys under five).. So, when it comes to food, I'm always looking for quick options.This is why I love Amara baby food. All you have to do is grab one of their pouches and add water! How much easier can it get!?My son also loves it. He's going through the glorious picky eater phase. You know what I'm talking about... The phase where all he has to do is look at food to decide what he thinks. If it doesn't look like something sweet he's not interested.I was surprised to see just how much he loved this baby food! Every time we made it for breakfast, he devoured it! I love that he was so excited about food so healthy for him!During this week's #MommaChat, we will be giving away a box to two winners! [tweetthis twitter_handles="@almstindianwife" display_mode="box"]Have you entered the #MommaChat #giveaway yet!?[/tweetthis]
#MasalaLove Twitter Chat Tonight!
Are you in an intercultural relationship? A little hint... if you are in a relationship, you can answer YES! We all come from different backgrounds whether it's racially or in reference to our family culture. No two families are perfectly the same and for that reason we are all in an intercultural relationship. This is a call to all Intercultural Couples! Please join us in our Masala Love Twitter Chat tonight. We will be answering your questions and talking about intercultural love. We have three lovely bloggers joining us tonight! Be sure to check them out before the chat tonight!
[tweetthis twitter_handles="@almstindianwife" display_mode="box"]I'm joining the #MasalaLove twitter chat tonight! What about you? [/tweetthis]
Comment here and leave a question you would like answered in tonight's chat!
#MommaChat Instagram Hop #2
Follow These Steps
Follow the mommas joining us in this weeks #MommaChat
Start The Hop
Go to my Instagram page and begin the hop! All of the instructions are listed in the description. You have completed the hop once you follow all the steps and reach the first momma you started with!
Share #MommaChat with your friends
Momma chat is a way to meet new mommas, get inspired, and enjoy a cup of tea with new friends! Please share this post with your friends so we can get the word out. [tweetthis twitter_handles="@almstindianwife" display_mode="box"]I'm joining the #MommaChat today! What about you? [/tweetthis]
#MommaChat Instagram Hop #1
Follow These Steps
Follow the mommas joining us in this weeks #MommaChat
Start The Hop
Go to my Instagram page and begin the hop! All of the instructions are listed in the description. You have completed the hop once you follow all the steps and reach the first momma you started with!
Share #MommaChat with your friends
Momma chat is a way to meet new mommas, get inspired, and enjoy a cup of tea with new friends! Please share this post with your friends so we can get the word out. [tweetthis twitter_handles="@almstindianwife" display_mode="box"]I'm joining the #MommaChat today! What about you? [/tweetthis]
The Almost Indian Family Memories of 2015
This year has been full of memories. Some are hilarious and make me laugh just thinking about them and others bring tears to my eyes. My family and I joke that 2015 has been the worst year EVER. While it has had some extremely hard moments, like bringing our son to the hospital after having his first seizure, I don't think it's fair to the rest of the memories if we deem it an awful year. Instead, I want to focus on the great things that happened this year. Today, I want to share some of my favorite and crazy memories with all of you and I hope you will share some of yours with me!
The moment my two year old looked under the bathroom stall next to us!
I don't know what it is, but their is some deep desire in my son to embarrass me as often as he can. Whether this means yelling about his bathroom habits in the store or looking under the stall next to us! Not just a peak either... He full on looked under the stall next to us and started talking to his new friend!!! By new friend I mean person we had NEVER met before. Luckily, she had some humor over the whole thing... Some.. While I wanted to run away he was introducing himself...
My son turned four.
My oldest little baby turned four this year! He is getting so big. I still see him as my baby, but the more I see him grow in front of me, the more I realize he is changing. Changing into a little man. He wants to play video games now, talk to me about his day, ask how I am, and tell me knock knock jokes.Come on, you're dying to hear one...Knock knock.Who's there?The Interrupting cow.The int...MOOOOOOOOO!!I know my kids can sense me telling this joke and are off giggling somewhere as I type this.
My baby is healthy.
After such a health scare with my little guy, I count every day he is healthy as a great day. He is growing into his own little person. He is always going over to his siblings, trying to get them to let him play. He tries to wrestle with them. He even laughs when they laugh, just to feel included! Which OF COURSE makes them all bust up.
My baby started crawling.
He even started crawling this year! Granted, that's as far as I'll let him get... I refuse to let him walk. I even got a walker so he could feel like he's walking without actually learning. Hey, he's my baby. I want him to stay that way.
I'm not pregnant.
Woo hoo!!!! Anyone that has had multiple kids so close together can feel me on this one. Woo hoo!!
My sister in law got married.
My beautiful sister married the man of her dreams, The Almost Indian Husband! He is amazing and fits into the family so well. He is even showing off and learning Hindi!! This was such a beautiful day. My husband even officiating the wedding!
We moved to Chicago.
We made a big step this year and moved across the world! Ok. Not across the world, but across the US. It was a very scary step for me, but I'm so grateful I did it. My kids are learning Telugu and getting to know their family here so well. We all love being so close to my husband's family. Then, of course, let's not forget the food in Chicago!
My cousin got married.
We had two weddings this year! My cousin also got married! He married his soul mate and she is absolutely PERFECT for him. I love seeing them grow together. Even though my oldest thinks we were married at the wedding... He tells me every day, "Mom, remember when we got married?" Why, yes. Yes, I do.
We started homeschooling.
We started homeschooling our oldest this year! It was the perfect time to start because pre-k isn't as difficult as it will be later. It's been so much fun teaching my kids at home. Next year, we will be starting Classical Conversations and I can't wait! Have any of you heard of it or maybe do it too?
My kids got to play in the snow!
Let's not forget the snow! My kids have been waiting for the snow! We may have told them Chicago is a snowy winter wonderland! They had a blast. I heard we're going back to the snow too!Wether this year has been difficult or full or great memories, I want to challenge you all. Don't focus on what's made it hard. Let's focus on all of the good memories and what you've learned!
What are some of your favorite memories of 2015? Share them in the comments!
Common Misconceptions About Starting A Family
As you may have seen in my previous post (Sometimes A Mom Needs To Hear...), I'm not a big fan of people sharing their unwanted advice or thoughts with me. I'm pretty laid back, but as soon as you start judging me for my decisions... I'm out! Even though I have never encouraged it from a single "Good Samaritan" THEY KEEP SHARING IT WITH ME!In the last few months I've heard these two multiple times....No way. Getting married isn't for me. Wow! You got married way too young! Now you'll never experience life!Ha! I'm not looking to have kids yet! Seriously, I'd have to give up everything!Ok. When did either of these become a good thing to tell someone? My husband and I made a very conscious choice to get married young. We never woke up one morning and said to ourselves, "Oh no! What did we do!?" We do, however, wake up and think, Dear God who told the toddlers they could crawl into our beds and kick us in the back all night... So, today I want to share a few misconceptions people have about couples that settle down and start a family...
The moment you have kids, your life is OVER.
Seriously. No. I have three kids and I am definitely still living my life. If that was true, why would anyone have kids? Your life changes, becomes messier, and amazing. I love my life and have never regretted having my kids young.
Getting married young means your marriage is doomed.
My husband and I were married when I was 20 and he was 23. We have been married for six years and are still going strong. Getting married is hard work. It doesn't matter how old you are. It requires a commitment from both people. If anything, think about the amount of baggage you bring into a relationship later in your life verses younger.... As long as you are both willing to work hard on your marriage and communicate, you can make it through anything.
You can't travel after you have kids.
Garbage. I have traveled exponentially more after having kids than I did before. All you have to do is teach your children to become little travelers. You can travel as a family or as your kids get bigger and can stay with a family member. If you want to travel, having kids by no way impedes on this desire. It just means you need to get creative to keep them busy on long flights.
I don't have enough money to have kids.
There is no perfect salary to have kids. If we all waited until we were rich to have kids... we'd have a lot less kids in the world. When you are ready to have kids, go for it. Be wise with your money and have a KILLER baby shower.
You will never sleep again after you have kids.
Ok... Maybe this one is true. I keep hoping to get more sleep as the babies get a little older. Then we have another one and my hopes for sleep are ruined. At least there are two of you to be exhausted together. Then you can both take turns! Or fight over who gets to sleep in.
Your sex life is over once you have kids.
Again. Let's do the math. If no one had sex after they had their first kid, how would there be so many big families out there? Put those kids in their beds and then mommy and daddy get to have their special alone time. While I do wish I would have slept for the entire year leading up to having my kids, I have never regretted my family. I am married to an amazing man who has stood by my side through the good, romantic, messy, exhausting, and disgusting moments of life we've experienced. I also have three amazing children that are teaching me so much every day. I love watching them grow together and become little buddies. I love that my husband and I are young parents. So, please don't apologize to me when you find out how many kids I have or how young I was when I got married. Please don't tell me all of the reasons you wouldn't have made my same decisions. I am completely happy with the decisions I have made. Even if it means I am a tired momma.
What are the misconceptions you have faced about starting a family?
Tweet me and let me know![tweetthis twitter_handles="@almstindianwife" display_mode="button_link"][/tweetthis]
The Biggest Relationship Killer
Did you know that there is something at work in your relationship right now that could destroy it? It's big, it's nasty, and it's a relationship killer.
What is the biggest relationship killer?
It sits there hunched over you and your loved one every night after you put the kids down for bed... It digs it's way in between you both deeper and deeper after every fight... Can you guess what the big, nasty relationship killer is? It's a lack of communication.Now, you may be thinking, pfff that's it? That's the big relationship killer? Shouldn't a relationship killer be deadlier than that? Oh, that's what it wants you to think. It wants you to think its not a relationship killer. It wants you to think its no big deal, let it in, ignore it, when all of the sudden it DESTROYS your marriage. A lack of communication is a silent relationship killer. It silently eats it's way at every part of your relationship. The more you don't talk after a fight...The more you sweep under the rug...The more you bite your tongue...The more it pulls you both a part and convinces you of the lie. The lie that it's all ok when your relationship is crumbling down around you. Don't believe it! Don't believe the lie that this big, nasty relationship killer is telling you!
The Silent Killer
It's not ok to be silent in your relationship. Counselors and psychologists say one of the biggest signs of damage in a relationship is when the couples say they don't fight. Couples are often mistaken, thinking a lack of fighting means they are doing something right. When in reality, they're not working on their issues. They choose to keep silent and not say what's wrong in order to prevent a fight. As long as you fight in a healthy way (no screaming and actually resolve it) it's beneficial to your relationship.[tweetthis twitter_handles="@almstindianwife" display_mode="box"]"Fighting in a healthy way can actually be the sign of a healthy relationship."[/tweetthis]
Who Needs Communication In Their Relationship?
Everyone! Every relationship out there needs to have communication, it's vital to relationships. When couples start to talk about the problems in their relationship, you can just about guarantee it's due to a lack of communication. Long distance relationships have a lot of things that can be difficult to overcome. However, if you have good communication, it will help you to face anything that comes your way. New relationships are in desperate need of communication. You have two people trying to get to know each other and how the other one ticks. You need communication to get to know each other and to learn how you can be a good partner. Even relationships that have been going on for years need communication. The can get comfortable with where they are and forget that they still need to talk about everything. If a lack of communication is a relationship killer, think what good communication could do to your relationship.
How do you think communication could improve your relationship?
4 Things To Do When You're Overwhelmed
My husband and I have been married for six years. We have packed those years full of beautiful memories, early mornings, teething babies, first homes, ridiculous arguments, big moves, tearful goodbyes, nights on the town, and so much fun. We knew we had a big adventure in store, but there was so much we didn't anticipate. If I could go back in time, there is a lot I would have told my 20 year old self about.
I would have warned myself...
to never let my children sleep in my bed because it would create a habit that would mean they would climb into my bed every single night at midnight for years to come...about the reactions some people may have when telling them about my intercultural relationship...that my husband will always try to diffuse arguments by trying to make me laugh...about the nights my husband and I would spend in the hospital after our baby had a seizure...to always use a timer when cooking so I wouldn't burn dinner... and to NEVER use American versions of Indian recipes because they will ALWAYS end up horrible. While we were dating, we anticipated all of the beautiful and life changing moments we would have together, but didn't think about the struggles we could face. The reality is that the hard times in our marriage have brought us even closer than the good times. They remind us that we are in this together and that with each other, we can handle anything. What about the hard times that feel overwhelming? It's easier to look back on the situation and see what good came from it, but what about when you're in the middle of it? I received an email from a reader recently and she was in the middle of a really hard season with her spouse. I asked her if I could share a bit about her story because I think so many of us can relate. They have been married for three years and they'e in the midst of figuring out how they can blend cultures in their marriage. They recently moved to India and she's feeling overwhelmed in a new city, surrounded by a new language, homesick, and feeling like her and her spouse can't agree on anything. She's happy with their decision to move, but is overwhelmed trying to make this transition, feel at home in India, and trying to blend their cultures in their new family. While you may not be in a new country like this reader, I'm sure many of you share similar struggles. Maybe you're spouse speaks a different language and you feel left when his family comes to visit because you don't understand what they're saying. Maybe most of the conversations between you and your spouse end in fighting because you can't agree on how to blend cultures. Either way that overwhelming feeling can be suffocating.I get it. It can feel like it will never end.
Here are 4 things you can do when you're overwhelmed in your relationship.
Take a deep breath.
Sometimes you just need to take a deep breath. When you're overwhelmed, you tend to focus on it all day. Instead, take a minute and remind yourself it will be ok. It may be really difficult right now, but it won't last forever. [tweetthis twitter_handles="@almstindianwife" display_mode="box"]When life gets overwhelming, take a deep breath and remember it won't last forever.[/tweetthis]
Get away.
Take a break from the situation. Don't let your struggles take over your life. Take some time to yourself and do something relaxing. This can be getting a coffee and reading a good book, taking a walk, or maybe even going to see a movie by yourself. You won't be able to make any progress on the situation is you're drained and exhausted. It's so important to step outside of the situation so you can regroup and come back to it refreshed. [tweetthis display_mode="box"]When life gets overwhelming, take a break and can come back refreshed & able to face the challenge[/tweetthis]
Date your spouse.
Marriage requires a lot of work. Don't lose sight of why you and your spouse were married in the first place. You'll experience struggles through out your marriage and there's nothing you can do to stop it. Often times, couples grow distant from each other in the midst of trouble. Just because you're fighting or going through a hard season doesn't mean you shouldn't love on your spouse. Decide together to put your difficult situation on pause and go out to dinner or a movie. You can deal with the situation when you get back. Just like the step before, it's good to take a break from the situation and regroup. You and your spouse need to remind each other that you're going through these struggles so you can face this struggle together. [tweetthis display_mode="box"]Just because you're having struggles in your marriage doesn't mean you shouldn't date your husband[/tweetthis]
Take it day by day.
Sadly, your problems usually won't be solved in a day. It takes time to figure out how to blend cultures, to feel at home in a new environment, etc. All you can do is take it day by day. Look at the progress you're making. Even the smallest amount of progress is a HUGE step forward. [tweetthis display_mode="box"]When you're facing a challenge, remember any progress is a HUGE step forward! Celebrate all successes![/tweetthis]
